Let’s Get Olie Kolzig 10,000 Twitter Followers

Ian Oland, age 17.

A lot of people hate RMNB right now, and I don’t blame you one bit. I’m stupid, we’re all unprofessional, and our opinions are nerdy and statistical. So how about we stop talking about free agency for a minute and concentrate on something that’s actually important: getting Olie Kolzig 10,000 followers on Twitter.

Last week, Kolzig logged into to the social media site for the first time in two years to promote his new Instagram account and his new website. And early returns indicate that he is a huuuuuuuuuuge fan of hashtags now.

Despite me being a semi-professional journalist, I will always be completely in the tank for Olie. I don’t care who knows it. I would shout it from the highest mountaintop. The CRL segment he agreed to do with me over the winter did not curb that enthusiasm one bit.

So here’s what we’re going to do.

A) You’re going to follow Olie on Twitter and Instagram (and maybe explain to him when it’s appropriate to use hashtags). You’re also going to tell your friends to follow him too. He’s approximately 1,500 followers away from his goal.
B) Today is Thursday, so your Throwback Thursday photo on Instagram will be a photo of you as a youngin’ chilling with Kolzig. Please tag your Insta with #tbt, @oliekolig37, and @rmnb_blog (yes, we’re on Instagram too and we wanna post your submissions on the bottom of this article).
C) If we get Kolzig to 10k Twitter followers by the end of this weekend, I will unveil a Kolzig-inspired RMNB shirt sometime next week.

So that’s an awful lot of incentive for doing something that is free and will make you happier. So do your thing, follow Olie, and enjoy life. Because hockey best)))))))))

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  • Jonathan Cribbs

    Is that good old Piney Orchard? I grew up playing there. Caps development camp usually had the ice before my summer hockey camps there. Fun memory: Joe Reekie lining up kids between, like, 13 and 18 years old, and forcing them to block his shots from the point. I felt like I was shooting the sequel to “Happy Gilmore.”

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    It sure is. My favorite memory there was watching Dale Hunter attack a vending machine after it didn’t give him the peanut m&m’s he ordered.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    Ian was so handsome. WAS.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland
  • Firestarter

    That maybe the most hilarious thing I’ve ever heard.

  • Sarah

    Is Ian the one who just got married? Right, that’s what I thought.

  • Sam W.

    BURN

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland
  • Sarah

    I meant it as more of burn first aid, hey, I think Peter’s cute.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett
  • Sarah

    I’m not sure exactly who “a lot of people” are who supposedly hate RMNB, any real Caps fan loves you guys, agree or disagree with your views. You work too hard and you’re way too much fun to hate, even when I think you’re off the deep end about things.
    I’m not sure who all these recently registered people are yelling at you guys and spewing homophobic/xenophobic/sexist language in the last two days, but I’m sure as hell they aren’t our normal crowd who know how to disagree with people civilly.
    I’m not sure of anything except that I always have loved the Stars, even when they stank, because they have generally been a classy organization of decent people. I’m sure I’m going to continue to respect and love that bunch.
    And I’m sure I love RMNB and am a real, honest to God person.
    Not too sure about anything else.

  • Sarah

    Well if you don’t want collateral damage burns, dear Peter, be nice to Ian.

  • puckwx
  • Anthony Elworthy

    A lot of people (read: trolls and tightwads) on the intertubes are dumping on RMNB for being too pessimistic/emotional/reactionary – especially in regards to the recent UFA contracts. If RMNB was only dispassionate objective commentary without the writers who are emotionally invested and honest about what they think, it would just be another mediocre blog.

    I have friends who are devoted fans of other teams that I have introduced to RMNB. They immediately turn around and say “WOW! I wish MY team had a blog like this!” then follow the site. Strong work RMNB, you are not bad, just honest. We Caps fans are just pent up balls of illogical angst anyway. One day we’ll have a cup and can focus our angst on the bandwagoners.

  • Firestarter

    Amazing. Absolutely amazing. I will now aspire to be like Dale Hunter whenever vending machines don’t bow down to me.

  • Sarah

    Anyway I think that should resolve any suspicions that we’re the same person, no? Not that a single real follower of the blog thought that anyway, but hell, that should satisfy even the jackass fakes.
    P.S. Notwithstanding the above, you are cute.

  • SeminAllOverTheIce

    “A lot of people hate RMNB right now, and I don’t blame you one bit. I’m stupid, we’re all unprofessional, and our opinions are nerdy and statistical.”

    You cant see it, but Im playing the worlds smallest violin for you. :)

    You gave your opinion, flak happens. We’re not robots and everyone feels differently. To each their own.

    Who’s this Olie Kolzig guy? He the manager of the Piney Orchard rink you speak of? He looks German.

  • Jonathan Cribbs

    There was a big prank culture there. I remember Hunter removing the door’s from a player’s jeep one summer. One player paying a bunch of kids in my hockey camp to help him fill Kolzig’s truck bed with zam snow. I remember skating around in warm-ups after a preseason practice and watching Richard Zednik run outside in nothing but his boxers, someone else’s oversized hightops and a see-through, mesh tank top after a bunch of the players threw his clothes in the shower.

  • Sasha Liles

    “A lot of people hate RMNB right now, and I don’t blame you one bit. I’m stupid, we’re all unprofessional, and our opinions are nerdy and statistical.” Or, “Some people think RMNB is trending from cool fun fan blog site to characterizing their opinions as facts as though they have inside knowledge to all aspects of building a team and then goes into martyrdom when they are criticized on it.”

  • Sarah

    Welcome back, Sasha Lies! Everyone values your canned opinion.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland
  • Sasha Liles

    Sarah, I’ve enjoyed reading your constant slurping here.

  • Sarah

    Ladies and gentlemen, the classy response we’ve come to expect!

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Oh. My. God. Hahaha.

  • Sasha Liles

    Your definition of a “real fan” is tied to whether or not they think each and every article RMNB posts is the absolute best thing ever?

  • Sasha Liles

    And exactly what I’d expect from you based on my readings here.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    Orpik is a bad defenseman on a bad contract Orpik is a bad defenseman on a bad contract Orpik is a bad defenseman on a bad contract Orpik is a bad defenseman on a bad contract Orpik is a bad defenseman on a bad contract Orpik is a bad defenseman on a bad contract Orpik is a bad defenseman on a bad contract Orpik is a bad defenseman on a bad contract Orpik is a bad defenseman on a bad contract Orpik is a bad defenseman on a bad contract

  • Sarah

    No, because that would exclude me as a real fan. And a lot of the other real fans who are upvoting my post. If you were a real fan/follower, you’d actually know that I have been a constant supporter of the organization and have often disagreed with RMNB.
    Nobody buys this garbage, guys, give it up while you’re just this far behind.

  • Sasha Liles

    Perfect response!

  • Ash

    Don’t forget Ovechkin’s vending machine battle!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwvxYjRcYU8

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    ..

  • Sarah

    Which can’t have been very much. As every real fan knows. Guys, quit digging, please, this is painful to watch.

  • Sasha Liles

    But you are dismissive of everyone who has an alternate view of the blog postings of the last couple of days. I have loved this blog since day 1. I just think they’re veering into the territory that is overly snarky for the sake of snark.

  • SeminAllOverTheIce

    Im sensing some difference of opinion here. Perhaps even a little dislike between you two? Yes?

  • Sasha Liles

    Ever real fan knows. There you go again. I really don’t understand what makes you think your fandom is any better than anyone else’s.

  • SeminAllOverTheIce

    Question Peter, if he works out in DC…Im sure you will be posting something along the lines of “sorry folks, i was wrong…my bad” yes?

  • Sarah

    The alternate view, ie that the club is only partly f’d instead of totally f’d, is my view too. I have been defending the organization although I am now having serious second thoughts about that.
    Go Stars!

  • Sasha Liles

    I don’t know who Sarah is but apparently she is a “real fan” and can quickly identify whoever is a “real fan” or not and very dismissive over anyone with an alternate view.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    But seriously, folks. If you have substantive disagreement with my writing on the Orpik deal, why don’t you shoot us an email with your rebuttal? We’ll publish it.

    That’d be a lot more constructive than the ad hominem stuff.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    I don’t agree with the real fan/fake fan stuff, for the record.

  • Sasha Liles

    Those are the only views eh? Partly fucked or seriously fucked? Giving up on the team because of this pick up? Usually the ones claiming to know who a real fan is doesn’t jump ship. However, I do like the Stars so I’ll give you that.

  • Sarah

    1. Real fans on this site don’t use xenophobic, homophobis, and sexist language and when they do offend somebody, have the decency to apologize instead of attacking that person.
    2. Real fans get upvotes from other long time, real posters.
    3. Real fans here know each other and know each other’s views.
    4. Real fans have a lot of different opinions but are generally decent with each other.
    Hope that helps.

  • Sasha Liles

    Thanks Peter. For the record, I love this blog. I just sometimes feel it is heading towards schtick that will get tiring. I am in the minority though.

  • Sasha Liles

    What sexist language are you referring to from me?

  • Sarah

    I clarified this above, hope you find it helpful. I don’t base real fan/ fake fan based on whether someone agrees or disagrees with RMNB (again, I disagree with them a lot).

  • SeminAllOverTheIce

    I’d like the record to show, that on WaPo’s Capitals Insider, I was awarded my Super Fan finger badge. Ergo, Im a Super Fan. I think thats better than a “real fan”…pssh, there isnt even a “real fan” badge.

  • Sasha Liles

    I saw. In reading of my comments back, I am thinking you took “slurping” the wrong way. I meant as in slurping the kool aid. I apologize for what appeared to be a sexist comment. That was not my intent.

  • Sarah

    Well, the comment that got deleted below was characteristically vulgar.

  • Guest

    That’ll do.

  • Sasha Liles

    I posted in the other thread. My “slurping” comment was meant in the slurping of kool-aid way. I apologize for offending but that wasn’t my intent. In fact, I apologize for this whole conversation. I don’t like being nasty and that’s exactly hypocritical to my comments on the blog. Ian, Peter, Sarah and the rest, sorry for the frustration venting.

  • Sarah

    Nobody’s questioning that. You’ve been here a lot, you follow the rules, you know everybody, you’re super passionate. You’re a real fan. I don’t always love your posts but have no trouble believing you’re a person and not a troll.

  • Sasha Liles

    Sarah, I thought you were referring to my “slurping” comment (which I meant as in “kool-aid”). The deleted comment was not mine. I didn’t write anything else that could be misconstrued.

  • mspeer
  • Sarah

    If you read my actual comments on the draft, UFA’s, etc, I am the organization’s biggest booster. Willing to defend almost anything and hold out hope for a great season, Read it, it’s true.
    That was then, of course.

  • Sasha Liles

    Eh, I got nothing.

  • Sasha Liles

    I’m so confused. Is “mspeer” Sarah?

  • Sarah

    No. Of course, all the real regulars here already knew that.

  • Ash

    I see your point (except for the Stars, because I’m one team only!), but I don’t know if it’s even partly fucked. I think, pending injuries, for the next two years we’ll have the strongest blue line we’ve had in a while; we have an experienced head coach and staff who’ll most likely improve the current players; we have a good young goalie who’ll be taught by one of the best goalie coaches in the game; and we have the last couple years of Ovechkin and Backstrom’s prime.

    We lack a 2C right now (though who’s to say that’s going to still be the case in Octover? I’m not going to worry about it for at least another month) and I really don’t like Orpik’s contract, but I think he can be useful for at least two years, and like others have said– we’ve seen clubs hand out horrendous contracts and wiggle out of them before. It can be done.

    For years, we’ve been moaning that GMGM never tried anything new or took big risks. Well, we’re about to find out what happens when you do. This could end horribly, for sure! But after trying most of the other options, I’m okay with the Caps going all in right now; Ovi’s not getting any younger; he’s not had a great team built around him, and I think the organization owes it to him to try now rather than later.

    Bottom line, the future has a lot of questions, but I do think the Caps are capable of being competitive right now, and we’ll pay the piper when he comes and see how it goes :)

  • Sarah

    I agree with all that, and said many similar things.

  • Sasha Liles

    “mspeer” came up with your comment. Not sure why. Now it has your name on it. I am a “real regular” but I just haven’t been moved to comment until yesterday and today.

  • Sarah

    In any case, my guidelines above refer to a lot of really unusually nasty comments in the last few days. Not the worst stuff on the internet, but definitely not normal for RMNB, which is what’s really concerning.

  • Sarah

    Not true. Nice try though. Mspeer is an occasional poster who is different from me.

  • Sasha Liles

    I understand. I apologized to you in a couple of other postings in case you missed it. I really don’t like pissing wars especially with fellow fans and my postings incited that. Let’s all hope that the move is much better than we anticipated. If not, Go Stars! :)

  • mspeer

    Nope. Just a long time reader, who read through the comments and thought, “dang” things are stirred up in here today. That’s all.

  • Ash

    I know, and I often enjoy your comments and posts :)

    Just thought it was worth throwing into this post to expand on your partly fucked comment (I get that’s what you’re espousing– that we’re only partially fucked and not totally fucked) because I don’t think we’re even as badly fucked as many fans and media seem to think. Thought it would be nice to have since comments seem to have gotten all angried up in a short time.

    [URL=http://s1091.photobucket.com/user/ThorneScratch/media/angrydome_zps51834222.gif.html][IMG]http://i1091.photobucket.com/albums/i383/ThorneScratch/angrydome_zps51834222.gif[/IMG][/URL]

  • Sasha Liles

    Relax. I wasn’t accusing you of having alternate IDs. When I hit refresh, disqus lined up the comment and it looked like “mspeer” was attached to your comment “If you read my actual comments about the draft…” so I was confused by the comment to me that appeared to be from “mspeer.”

  • Red

    I have a sneaking suspicion RMNB is being massively trolled by a clever Pittsburgh contingent. This is the only logical explanation for the disparaging tone and the overwhelming support of the recent dealings.

  • Sarah

    Lol! Look, I don’t care who it is as long as they quit. Then hopefully we can just move on. Ugh. I want our blog back, and I’m pretty sure others here agree.

  • Alisin Wonderland

    I am not a user of the Twitters, but I’m tempted to make an account JUST to follow Olie. He was always my favorite player by far, not to mention a super classy guy.

  • Sarah

    As for your edit about the staff, eh, I am– or at least, was– one of the cheery commenters who consistently presented the other side. And they’ve never once been rude to me, which I appreciate.

  • Pat Magee

    The whole Orpik ordeal has us all mad at RMNB for awhile. It’s totally natural to be mad at your loved ones sometimes!!!

    We all speak out of emotion <3

  • Smiley456

    I hope hope hope that Orpik is super for the Caps. For three years. Then he’s bought out.

  • Hockeynightincanada

    It’s been a few days since the Free Agency Shenanigans. I see the only club level additions we added were Niskanen, Orpik, and Peters.

    Did I miss anything? Who did the Caps sign to protect Orpik from the beatings he will take when he goes to lay out the opposition?

  • Lawrence

    Lol, how did this post go from about Olie, to the gong show down here? Might be better if we don’t bring this up anymore in future articles lmao. In 2014, you would think we would be capable of disagreeing without freaking out. I hope you guys at RMNB don’t let this bring you down and make you change your material. What some of these people are complaining about, is the same stuff that made you guys who you have become today (honest, reactionary, emotional), funny how they like those things when they agree with you. Just know that those people complaining are in the minority, or they are acting out in the same way they are accusing you of, emotional.

    http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6rchr4Jpi1rxevt4o1_500.gif

  • Chris

    I wish I could meet Kolzig :(

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    We only have a problem with people in the BLUE circle.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett
  • Goat

    After seeing this, my greatest regret is that I have no pictures with Olie.

  • Sarah

    So far, that’s been my role. God am I tired.

  • Sarah

    Lol at gong show. I don’t know, man, but I hope like hell it’s done with. This has not been fun. Thanks for always being one of the nice, reasonable people, btw. People like you make the blog worth coming to.

  • JenniferH

    Aww, Ian….. so cute!!!!! And I followed him. He’s over 9,000 now. :) (Steadily ignoring the dramaz in the thread)

  • doom_and_gloom

    You’re so vain, you’d probably think this blog is about you, bout you (you’re so vain)….

  • OlietheGoalie

    I want a Godzilla shirt from RMNB. I’ve already been following him for over a year.

    Make it so. Make me give you my money.

  • OlietheGoalie

    We just love you too much, RMNB! Love hurts!

    (I don’t like the Orpik deal, either.)

  • OlietheGoalie

    This mental image is freaking fantastic.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    It’s hard – I know.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Whenever big transactions happen, a lot of these people come out of the woodwork and comment. They usually aren’t fans of advanced stats or us. It doesn’t get me down about our content at all. The only thing that perturbs me is when people are unkind to each other or don’t have respectful conversations. I think a lot of people come to the site for the discussion and I don’t want that ruined for others.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    You absolutely should! (For us too!)

  • sheena dunn

    Ian looks like a baby!!!!

  • Sam W.

    I like this blog for its shtick.