alex_morgan

There were probably folks who had their hearts set on Alex Ovechkin winning a Nickelodeon Kids Choice Sports Award. I don’t know any of those people, but they probably exist. Probably in Fairfax County. Anyway, those people are all heartbroken right now. Ovechkin has lost the award for Sickest Moves (no, seriously) to soccer star Alex Morgan.

This is okay. Everybody breathe.

Screen Shot 2014-07-17 at 10.26.31 PM

Alex Ovechkin’s moves are sick. They are also, I’m told, unbelievable. Obviously. But this award, which is chosen by children, goes to the person with the sickest moves. There can be none sicker. It’s superlative.

Morgan, star of the NWSL’s Portland Thorns and the US Women’s National Team, deserves it. She’s scored 46 goals in international play, won Olympic gold in 2012, and lost the 2011 World Cup in penalty kicks. If she can stay healthy, Morgan may one day surpass Hamm and Wambach as the best American soccer player ever. Morgan means more to her sport– and the 1.6 million young American women playing soccer– than Ovi does to his.

And her moves are siiiiiick.

Tell me that’s not sick.

So Ovi lost, but the winner is awesome. And at least it wasn’t Sid.

(For the record, Megan Rapinoe is still my fave. Go USWNT!)

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  • Chris Cerullo

    Best post on RMNB of all time because Alex Morgan.

  • Sarah

    I’m kinda sad this is the only post in the USWNT tag.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Peter, find the John Carlson soccer post! That can be #2.

  • Simonezero

    Hell yeah, Rapinoe!

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    Done. And I’m gonna do game recaps for the 2015 World Cup.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    I’m gonna get a custom Rapinoe jersey for next summer– but it’s a pain in the ass to get a men’s jersey of the women’s kit.

    I used the word kit because soccer.

  • Sarah

    Yesssss I hope you’re not joking!

  • Sarah

    I am confident that if Alex Ovechkin were asked about the other Alex, he would manage not to ask, “Who is he?” Because he is cool. Well, okay, mostly because he’s not American and therefore knows something about soccer, but also because he is cool.

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com Ian Oland

    Here’s how it really should have gone

  • Sarah

    Confession: I probably would have asked, “Who is he?” Sad but true.

  • Sarah

    No, for real, they’re holding it in Frederick. ;)

  • Bilal

    they were playing on a football field………….

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    Football *pitch*

  • Sarah

    Canada, actually!

  • Sarah

    I’m just messing around. Obviously I know nothing about women’s soccer and next to nothing about men’s soccer. The latter functions in my life the way soap operas and tabloids function in some other people’s lives. I consider myself above those, and feel all self righteous about it, but I half*** follow European soccer purely for the ridiculous fights and psychodrama. Plus there’s better looking guys than most soaps and a game to keep you entertained when the melodrama doesn’t.
    On the other hand, if y’all are telling me that women’s soccer has people with actual character playing it, and RMNB is going to get involved, I might have a new sport to follow.

  • Pat Magee

    Highly awesome photoshop, Ian. Highly. haha

  • DustinPenncakes

    I’m disappointed that you missed the opportunity to call Ovi’s moves simply sensational.

  • Owen Johnson

    Actually I’m okay with Ovi coming in 2nd in that field. Not much can beat this guy in that department http://media.giphy.com/media/2HavnYT1BfENa/giphy.gif

  • Owen Johnson

    And I love both Alexs on that list.
    And they could have at least put an American mens player who actually MADE the World Cup team (*cough cough* Howard *cough cough* Dempsey *cough*)

  • Owen Johnson

    Ok, Joe B.

  • Owen Johnson

    “He” is my future wife.

  • Owen Johnson

    I went all out this year. Because America

  • Simonezero

    Peter, nothing is stopping you from rocking women’s gear. Come on, make a statement

  • Sarah

    Actually if you follow the link, Howard won best goalie in all sports, i.e., even beat Lundqvist. And David Beckham got covered in slime. Literally.
    There might be some hope for this generation.

  • Bryan Gleason

    This is absolute nonsense, and I will not stand for it.
    That being said…..Alex Morgan, free for dinner sometime this weekend?

  • Owen Johnson

    True, but Landon Donovan,though a really good player in his prime, has never really had “sick moves.” If you nominate a US men’s player, nominate Dempsey.
    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FMQEqSphEDA/U6BmL_pKxvI/AAAAAAAAEDk/hXQsEbk1xoI/s1600/857146706.gif

    http://usatthebiglead.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/dempsey-face-9-11-12.gif

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    Just to be clear: I said I want to wear the women’s gear, just not in a women’s cut.

  • CapNMac

    Yeah, there is only about 20,000 guys who can make those “sick moves” AM makes, but only one who can do the move 8 does… but sure… Why not.

  • CapNMac

    Who knew Scola was better at soccer than basketball!

  • Owen Johnson

    Who?

  • CapNMac
  • OvechkinFiresAndScores08

    *Futbol* pitch

  • OvechkinFiresAndScores08

    How did alex morgan win over messi and ovi? not to mention AP and CP3

  • OvechkinFiresAndScores08

    but this is also a blog about the capitals..and I’m pretty sure that this is 1 more post than USMNT has gotten here

  • Lisa Sa

    Obsessed ovechkin groupie = this site

  • http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com/ Peter Hassett

    well… yeah

  • Lisa Sa

    Lol

  • Nomo

    feminism

  • Yo8

    This is a very stupid show award. Best swag? Really?