Peter Hassett

Playing Marc-Andre Fleury is the Right Move, According to Caps Fans

On May 22, 2013, In Exclusive, By Peter Hassett

Photo credit: Marianne Helm

FREDERICK, MD – On the eve of a pivotal game between the Pittsburgh Penguins and Ottawa Senators in the Stanley Cup Playoffs, fans of the eliminated Washington Capitals finally chose their allegiance. ”If Bylsma doesn’t play Marc-Andre Fleury, he’ll be squandering the Pens’ chance at the Cup,” said 24-year-old die-hard Caps fan Steve Neuschwander of Monrovia, MD. “I mean, I know his playoff save percentage has been under 90% for the last few years, but that just means he’s due.”

Neuschwander, wearing a custom-embroidered KOLZILLA Caps jersey and smelling vaguely of stale Keystone, continued, “You put your trust in Flower; he won’t let you down.” Holding one hand to his chest and the other to the sky, Neuschwander proclaimed, “I want the Penguins to win this as much as anyone, and they’re not gonna do it without MAF.”

Alex Ovechkin Played With a Fractured Foot in Games Six and Seven

On May 16, 2013, In News, By Peter Hassett

Photo credit: Bruce Bennett

I appreciate the gesture, but I’d really rather not have my team’s $10-million superstar throwing his body in front of ballistic vulcanized rubber. – RMNB game 6 recap

Washington’s one surviving newspaper beat writer, Katie Carrera, dropped this bomb on Thursday afternoon:

Alex Ovechkin played the final two games of the Capitals’ first-round series against New York with a hairline fracture in his left foot, according to a league source with direct knowledge of the winger’s injury.

Ovechkin reportedly sustained the injury blocking shots during the first period of game six. We wrote about it at the time.

Tagged with: Alex Ovechkin • Blocked Shot • GIF

Fake Exclusive: Alex Ovechkin and Adam Oates’ Late-Night Text Messages

On May 15, 2013, In Exclusive, Photos, By Peter Hassett

Photo credit: AP

Adam Oates had lots to say during his breakdown-day interview at Ketler Capitals Iceplex on Wednesday, but the most interesting revelation was that he and star player Alex Ovechkin had an extended text-message chat after the team’s heartbreaking defeat in game seven of the quarterfinal round.

Upon hearing that, RMNB immediately sprung into action, contacting our sister publication across the pond, News of the World. Our brother-from-another-mother Jimmy Murdoch put us in touch with some folks, and voila!– we have recovered this conversation between Oates and Ovechkin.

Tagged with: Adam Oates • Alex Ovechkin • Text Messages

RMNB Semifinal Playoff Predictions: Peter vs Ian

On May 14, 2013, In Opinion, Playoffs, By Peter Hassett

Image by Cook the Chef

Welp, this is less than fun now, but we’re freaking obligated. The thing about making public predictions is that when you (and by you, I mean me) get ‘em wrong, it’s really embarrassing. I picked just 3 winners out of 8, so basically I’m worse than a coin-toss. I’m having self-worth issues right now. Meanwhile, Ian, used some blind freaking luck to get 5 out of 8. And we’re both emotionally unstable right now.

Let’s do it!

Tagged with: Peter vs Ian • Stanley Cup Playoffs

Sad Caps (Photos)

On May 14, 2013, In Photos, By Peter Hassett

Photo was touched up to remove the NHL executive handshake-passing the ref a 100-dollar bill. (Photo credit: Greg Fiume)

With their 5-0 loss to the New York Rangers in game seven, the Washington Capitals have been ungently booted from the postseason again. A period of healing and reconciliation now begins (also probably some suntans), but first we need to take a look at the sadness. The infinite, infinite sadness.

Let’s just take it all in, mope around for the next day or two like red-rocking Eeyores, and wallow in the wah wah wah (that’s what a sad trombone sounds like). It’s not fun; no, but we need to give the grieving process time to do its thing.

Tagged with: Alex Ovechkin • Braden Holtby • Eric Fehr • Karl Alzner • Mike Green • Mikhail Ovechkin • Troy Brouwer

Done

On May 13, 2013, In Game Recap, Playoffs, By Peter Hassett

Photo credit: Patrick McDermott

The 2012-2013 Washington Capitals are no more. Felled in seven games by Henrik Lundqvist and the New York Rangers, the Caps have done the thinkable: an early-round exit from the playoffs for the fifth straight year. Some will call that a pattern, some will call it a curse. Some will call it karmic justice or the inevitable victory of a superior team over a bunch of preening Eurotrash, but those guys are dicks. Screw them. This is our goodbye, and we’re doing it our way.

Goodnight, sweet Caps. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.

Tagged with: New York Rangers • Washington Capitals

Rangers beat Caps 1-0: We’re Going to Seven Again

On May 12, 2013, In Game Recap, Playoffs, By Peter Hassett

Photo credit: Scott Levy

We should have known better. We should have been more cynical. We should just have assumed this series was going to seven and enjoy Mother’s Day.

But nooooooo. We watched the Caps play an undisciplined-yet-solid game on enemy ice, giving up five power plays. No one’s saying the Caps are angels, but this is silly. The Rangers did nothing with their big chunk of man-advantage time, but one lucky bounce off Steve Oleksy’s arm made this a perfect afternoon for New York: a shutout without any penalties committed*.

Rangers beat Caps 1-0. Game seven tomorrow night.

Tagged with: New York Rangers • Washington Capitals

Caps beat Ranger 2-1 (OT): Ribeiro Rules!

On May 10, 2013, In Game Recap, Playoffs, By Peter Hassett

Photo credit: Patrick McDermott

Ack. I’m all jammed up like a Phish live record over here. This series is not good for people, plants, or other living things. The corrupted bastardization of hockey the Rangers have foisted upon the Capitals is some perverse thing not spoken of in polite circles. Where’s all the end-to-end action? The shot totals in excess of 40? The goalies giving up goals like Galileo dropped the orange? The Rangers forced the Caps into a constipated brand of hockey that is actually making my back seize up as if I were eating pancakes. Everything is all tensed up, and it goes on way too long. We’re supposed to enjoy it, but it’s really just survival.

The Rangers grabbed a lead in the game’s first minute, putting the entire DMV area’s bowels on red alert, but playoff hero Joel Ward tied it up in the second. The Caps leaned in during the third period, but we headed to overtime anyway– where Mike Ribeiro became a Capitals legend.

Caps beat Rangers 2-1 (Overtime). Caps lead the series 3-2. Sunday is an elimination game for New York.

Tagged with: Mike Ribeiro • New York Rangers • Washington Capitals

Alex Ovechkin is a Hart Finalist

On May 10, 2013, In News, By Peter Hassett

Screengrab by NHL Beardsoffs

In a surprise to absolutely no one, unless you were to time-travel back to February– in case it would be a surprise to everyone, Alex Ovechkin has been named a finalist for the Hart Trophy, awarded each year to the player deemed most valuable to his team by a bunch of snooty professional hockey writers with their cocky strides and musky odors.

Ovechkin scored a league-high 32 goals in 2013 and added another 24 assists. His shot total (4.6 shots a game) was a bounce back from recent years. Plus he got to grow facial hair again.

The two other finalists are NYI’s John Tavares and Sidney Crosby.

The Hart Trophy winner will be announced in Las Vegas this summer.

Tagged with: Alex Ovechkin • Hart Trophy

Leave Alex Ovechkin Alone!

On May 9, 2013, In Analysis, By Peter Hassett

Photo credit: Scott Levy

Okay, the subject line is a joke, but some people are being silly about Derek Stepan‘s game-winning goal last night. They’re saying it was Alex Ovechkin‘s fault– that his laziness on defense is a problem.

Here’s how it really went down.

After a long shift in the defensive zone, Marcus Johansson failed to clear the zone and pass to Alex Ovechkin, who was skating toward Lundqvist at center ice. A scramble for the puck ensued, and Stepan scored from the weak side. Ovechkin skated lazily towards Stepan as it happened.

Bad visual, but that’s all.

Tagged with: Alex Ovechkin • Derek Stepan • Marcus Johansson

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Russian Machine Never Breaks

Playing Marc-Andre Fleury is the Right Move, According to Caps Fans

Alex Ovechkin Played With a Fractured Foot in Games Six and Seven

Fake Exclusive: Alex Ovechkin and Adam Oates’ Late-Night Text Messages

RMNB Semifinal Playoff Predictions: Peter vs Ian

Sad Caps (Photos)

Done

Rangers beat Caps 1-0: We’re Going to Seven Again

Caps beat Ranger 2-1 (OT): Ribeiro Rules!

Alex Ovechkin is a Hart Finalist

Leave Alex Ovechkin Alone!

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