Vikings: Making RMNB Last

vikings

Tommy L. wants me to write about the culture of vikings. Tommy L. is awesome. Here goes.

There never was a viking culture and there never were any vikings. Vikings as we know them– villains wearing horned helmets who sacked dark-age Europe– were just a name and a story told by people who weren’t vikings. To the northmen, no one was a viking unless he or she was on a viking, which is what they called their raids. In general use, viking was an exonym: a named used by people outside the group. Among themselves, the vikings were known as the Northmen or the Norsemen– not to be confused with the Normans, whom we’ll discuss below.

Norsemen were the people of the Nordic countries. At some point in the 8th century of the Common Era, the Norsemen decided to go sailing and bust some heads. They were a bustling culture already, but advances in art, technology, and specifically seafaring were what spurred the Viking Era.

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tyler-bozak-kessel

Photo: Ronald Martinez

Sometimes we get questions from readers and other times people just tell us to do stuff.

To be direct, it would be a terrible move to acquire Tyler Bozak because he’s not a very good hockey player.

I would’ve been fine with that response alone, but apparently this rumor’s got legs, so let’s get into it.

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Kendrick Lamar Wore a Caps Hat at London Concert

ap-lamar

Photo: AP

Rapper Kendrick Lamar gave a concert in Finsbury Park of North London on the fourth of July, which I suppose is celebrated a bit differently over there. That doesn’t matter. The point is this: Lamar, a California native, rocked a Washington Capitals Winter Classic hat at the concert.

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brouwer-oshie

It never stops. The Caps have traded Troy Brouwer, goalie prospect Pheonix Copley, and a third round pick to the St Louis Blues in exchange for T.J. Oshie.

We don’t have time to react to this right now aside from HOLY CRAP and

https://twitter.com/brouwerrangers/status/616711560833011713

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LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 13:  Justin Williams #14 of the Los Angeles Kings of the Los Angeles Kings celebrates with the Stanley Cup after the Kings 3-2 double overtime victory against the New York Rangers in Game Five of the 2014 Stanley Cup Final at Staples Center on June 13, 2014 in Los Angeles, California.  (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

No one saw this coming. The Washington Capitals have signed right wing Justin Williams, formerly of the Los Angeles Kings. It’s a two-year contract worth an average value of $3.25 million.

Williams is a three-time Cup winner and now he’s going to play for the Caps– maybe with Ovi and Nicky. That’s a good price and a good term for a very good player. This is awesome.

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Peter’s Scifi/Fantasy Draft: Making RMNB Last

spidey

You are about to read an essay commissioned by RMNB Platinum Patron Michael Reschly as part of the Making RMNB Last campaign. Michael chose the topic, and now Peter must write about it. Game on.

Michael has asked me to draft a hockey team using only scifi and fantasy characters. My entire life was leading up to this moment and now we are here. Michael suggested Harry Potter as first-line center and Chewbacca as goalie, and that’s when I stopped paying attention to his ideas.

First, some self-imposed limitations: none. Anything goes. Let’s party.

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Here’s Your 2015-16 Washington Capitals Schedule!

original

Photoshop by maddyjl

Summer just started but winter is coming, specifically on October 10th, when the Washington Capitals’ 2015-16 season kicks off with an opener against the New Jersey Devils and a four-game homestand. Yeah, the schedule has been released. You can view every game for every team, or you can hop on down here and view the Caps schedule in whatever cheesy format I can make fit here.

UPDATE: Nathan has made downloadable versions of the schedule that you can put in your calendar. Just home games, just road games, and all games. And here is an ICS version made by Peter S.

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Joel Ward: 2014-15 Season Review

When George McPhee signed Joel Ward to a four-year, $12-million deal, many thought it was an exorbitant contract based on a playoff performance he’d never live up to. But then, he sorta did.

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Nate Schmidt: 2014-15 Season Review

Once again, Nate Schmidt put up a sterling performance for the Washington Capitals and was rewarded for his effort by a demotion to Hershey.

Same Schmidt, different day.

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Alex Ovechkin: 2014-15 Season Review

Photo: Patrick McDermott

I was trying to come up with the most elegant way to introduce the RMNB season review for Alex Ovechkin, but all I came up with is this:

OVI BESSSSTTTTT

HAHHAHAHAHAHHAA))))))))))

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