Curtis Glencross Regrets Hometown Discount

Curtis Glencross, aka “CG22” or “Gold Rush Glencross” or “GlenX” or “Glengary Glencross”, is still without a contract for the 2015-16 season. After seven points in 18 games for the Capitals, the 32-year-old forward is a man without a country. It’s at this point that Glencross is beginning to regret taking that hometown discount ($2.55 million) with the Calgary Flames in 2011, back when he was a 20-plus goal scorer.

Speaking with Calgary Sun:

“If I could do it again … as much as I love (Calgary) and call it home and met great people, at the same time, when it’s time for you to cash in, you have to take advantage and cash in. You can’t take a pay-cut or hometown discount because things change.”

That’s surprising candor from a professional hockey player.

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The Weird Satanist Guy is Bowser from the Caps Rap

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Did you see that viral video from earlier this week? Looks like Andrew Bowser has done it again. If you haven’t kept up with the intrepid auteur behind the Caps Rap (2010, and a sequel in 2011), you’ve missed a lot. In that time, Bowser has directed three films and contributed to like a billion online video projects, mostly at Nerdist. It was there that we learned Bowser had once again won the internet.

I don’t want to spoil it for you, so just watch the video first.

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The Best State Flag: Making RMNB Last


Mark M. wants me to talk about how great the Maryland flag is. Thank you, Mark M. I love the Maryland flag. Here’s a tweet from February as evidence.

I’m inclined to say the Maryland flag is the best because it just looks cool, but I can’t. This story can be only half fun, because the flag, like the people and place it represents, is complicated.

But I’ll say this up front: Maryland is a lot more than crab cakes and football, neither of which are very good.

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In the seminal Wayne Knight film, Space Jam (1996, directed by Michael Jackson music video director Joe Pytka and written by at least four dudes), the Looney Tunes cartoons must defend the earth from hostile aliens by winning a basketball game. Asked to pick his team, Bugs Bunny went immediately for the greatest of all time, Michael Jordan. Should the same situation occur in the realm of hockey– and you freaking know it will– Alex Ovechkin knows who he’d want on his team.

  • Jonathan Toews
  • Sidney Crosby
  • Anze Kopitar
  • Vladimir Putin

Oh. Okay. Well, here we go again.

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Report: Defenseman Ilya Nikulin In Talks With Capitals


Alex Rogulev of Rsport published a fascinating report on Friday that could spell big changes for the Washington blue line next season. According to the report, Russian defenseman Ilya Nikulin, who will not re-sign with Ak Bars Kazan, is in negotiations with an NHL team. That NHL team: the Washington Capitals.

If this pans out, it’ll be huge for the Caps and for Russian hockey.

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Photo: @Dustinpenner25

The career of former Capital Dustin Penner seemingly ended in 2014. In 18 games for the Washington Capitals that spring, Penner scored just 1 goal and 2 assists. No teams came a-nibbling during free agency, so it seemed the end for Penner: 9 seasons, 2 Cups, retired at age 32.

Not so much. Penner has begun a second life as a DJ of electronic dance music, a.k.a. EDM, an initialism that definitely won’t be confusing to hockey fans. DJ Pendemic (as he’s known on Soundcloud) began posting mixes and tracks earlier this year. In that time, Penner’s online presence has transitioned from internalized misogyny and hockey chirps to iffy grammar and promotions for his DJ gigs.

As for the music itself, I really can’t say. I don’t know much about EDM. But I do know someone who does. My friend Mo Gadalla has excellent taste in music. I asked him to listen to Pendemic and tell me all about it.

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Around noon on Tuesday, Matt Cane of Puck++ tipped off the internet to a new job listing at the Washington Capitals. The Caps are hiring a statistical analyst.

If you clicked that link, you may have noticed that the job listing isn’t there anymore. Within ten minutes of Matt’s tweet, the listing vanished. No worries, we’ve got it below.

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Mike Green’s Cat is Banana: Making RMNB Last

Say hi to Banana and Mike.

Leslie K. asked me to write a story about Mike Green‘s cat, Banana. This will be difficult because:

  1. I didn’t know Mike Green had a cat.
  2. I definitely didn’t know Mike Green had a cat named Banana.
  3. Mike Green and I don’t chat much about cats.
  4. We don’t chat much about anything because I’m a blogger and Mike Green plays for Detroit.
  5. I’m actually pretty lazy.

Whatever. I’m up to the challenge. Let’s go.

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From the Window to the Wall: Making RMNB Last


Today’s essay topic comes to us from John D., who writes:

What happens if the Caps don’t win a cup within 3-5 years with the current crop of players that will be 30-35 or older by then? When does the purge begin? Are there any thoughts of a purge if needed?

Ah yes, the perennial question of the Championship Window, the period during which a team is most likely to win a Cup, and whether it is currently open or closed– or opening or closing.

I guess I’ll start with this: The Washington Capitals’ window is open, but it won’t be for long. And when it closes, there may be a reckoning.

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These are RMNB’s Favorite Pro Wrestlers


Note: Steve Austin does not appear on any of our lists.

It’s August, Holtby and Johansson have re-signed, and there’s basically nothing else going on. RMNB’s Slack has somehow turned into a discussion on the greatest wrestlers of all time. Ian supposed Kane might be one of my favorites. I informed him, no, Kane falls somewhere behind The Godfather and Val Venis on my list. And then the lists came out.

Presenting: Our Favorite Pro Wrestlers of all time. Hashtag: #summercontent

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