The Curse of GMGM: Caps beat Preds 5-3


Two Swedes, one box

George McPhee traded prospect Filip Forsberg away sometime in the late 80s in exchange for Michael Latta, who is a nifty fourth liner, and a skunked case of Labatt Blue. We drank the beer, and then Forsberg scored twice on the Caps in Nashville on Tuesday. Don’t care. The Caps are still the best.

Tom Wilson, of all people, was involved in the Caps’ first two goals. In the first he assisted Jason Chimera, and in the second he swatted a saucer pass from Marcus Johansson. Filip Forsberg, dammit, scored on a power play in the second period.

In the third, Justin Williams put the Perds in a two-goal hole with an impressive scramble in the Nashville crease. Marcus Johansson welcomed himself back with a goal of his own, but the Preds struck back with goals by Roman Josi and Filip Forsberg (oh come the frick on) in quick succession. Alex Ovechkin got the empty netter.

Caps beat Preds 5-3! Four wins in a row!

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Caps beat Flyers 3-2: Superb on Super Bowl Sunday


It’s Super Bowl Sunday! Before you eat a bunch of super unhealthy food and then lose all productivity at the office on Monday, let’s rap about the Caps win over the Philadelphia Flyers.

The Caps looked sluggish in the first, giving the Flyers an early lead when MDZ knifed a redirected slapshot. The Caps rallied in the second, scoring twice on consecutive shots, the first knifed by Alex Ovechkin and the second knifed by Dmitry Orlov.

Carrying a lead into the third period, the Caps promptly surrendered it as Nick Schultz knifed a goal after a Caps icing. No matter: Matt Niskanen wrested back the lead by driving between the Philadelphia and knifing a gorgeous goal single-handed.

Caps beat Flyers 3-2!

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Welcome Back, Ovi: Caps beat Isles 3-2


Photo: Amanda Bowen

Winless for what seems like weeks, the Washington Capitals looked a bit flat at home against the New York Islanders. The Isles had a free pass into the Caps zone, whereas the Caps looked aimless, dumping and chasing to get deep. But possession aside, the Caps were the better finishers and escaped a close game with a #rego win thanks to their returned Captain and his late goal.

The Isles’ opening goal stung– it was (ex-Cap) Mikhail Grabovski off John Tavares through a billion screens. TJ Oshie got his 16th of the season off a pass from Nick Backstrom. The Isles had the puck for a million years but didn’t actually score, so Andre Burakovsky tapped in a puck set up by Jason Chimera to give the Caps the lead. With a chip shot from the paint, Josh Bailey made the game new in the third period.

Caps beat Isles 3-2! So this is what winning feels like!

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Mike Richards Played in a Beer League Last Year


Last summer, two-time Stanley Cup champion Mike Richards was unemployed. Terminated by the Kings due to his drug possession charges, Richards had to reboot his whole life. He also had to fill the hours of the day, which is where the Caseys Hockey League’s Kenora Kings come in.

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Panthers beat Caps 5-2

Hoo boy. I’m not gonna sugarcoat it, guys. The Caps got wubbalubbadubdubbed by the Florida Panthers. With approximately 35 thousand players missing due to various injuries and arbitrary suspensions, the remaining Caps couldn’t put the puck in the net for forty minutes, whereas the Panthers couldn’t stop scoring.

First was Jonathan Huberdeau assisted by Jaromir Jagr. Alex Barkov came second with a top shelf score on Philipp Grubauer. The second period saw goals from Trocheck and Huberdeau again, and if you noticed that none of those people are Capitals, good for you.

The Caps came back to life in the third, lifted by goals by Nick Backstom and Andre Burakovsky, but this was never a winnable game. Some dude got an empty netter, and that’s that.

Panthers beat Caps 5-2. The Caps have not won a game since January 19.

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Swedes on Swedes on Swedes: Flyers beat Caps 4-3 (OT)


Tom Wilson returns to his natural habitat.

Hockey back! Wee! Bye snow. Hi hockey! Stick and puck and Ovi and yay! Flyers bad, boo Flyers. But yay hockey! Caps goalie and old Caps goalie say grrr. Bad hockey but also good hockey. IKEA people score hockey goals two times plus one. Boo Flyers, but yay hockey back!

It seems I have forgotten how to write hockey. Maybe my fingers would remember their old strength better …if they recapped the goals.

Well, the Flyers owned the first period, scoring twice on the sticks of Brayden Schenn and Ryan White, but the Capitals woke up in the second period, erasing Philadelphia’s lead in a blink thanks to goals by Swedes Andre Burakovsky and Nick Backstrom. Jakub Voracek restored the Flyers leads before the third, but Kuznetsov fed Burakovsky to knot it again. Without a winner in rego, we went to overtime, where Voracek felled Holtby with a tricky release.

Flyers beat Caps. Washington’s home streak snapped at like 1329581635 consecutive wins. Oh well, got a point anyway.

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It’s Michal Neuvirth vs Braden Holtby for the First Time Ever

Wednesday night’s game between the Capitals and the Flyers is significant for two reasons: first, it’s the only Caps game to be played in a thirteen-day period; second, it’s the first time Michal Neuvirth will face the Washington Capitals in a regular season game. Better yet, this is the first time Neuvy will face his weakest competition yet in the opposing net.

We cannot wait.

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Editor’s note: Oh snap, it’s the return of the Making RMNB Last essay series. RMNB Patrons give Peter a topic, he writes, you read. Enjoy!

From the end of 2010 until the end of 2014, Alex Ovechkin was the baby-smooth face of men’s razors and shaving products company Gillette. Except for special exceptions, Ovi kept his chin tidy for contractual reasons. In late 2010, HBO 24/7 captured the ritual in action:

Among RMNB readers, Ovi’s shaving habits were controversial. Andrew F., who originally wanted me to write about Filip Forbserg but eff that noise, asked me to conduct a serious statistical comparison of The Two Ovis: shaved and scruffy.

Hell yeah, Andrew. It’s on.

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Friday’s Caps-Ducks Game Has Been Postponed


Plan B

Sanity prevails. The league has decided that the incoming blizzard has rendered tonight’s game unsafe to play. Caps vs Ducks has been postponed. No word on Sunday’s game yet, or for when Caps-Ducks will be rescheduled.

Instead of travelling to Verizon Center, might we recommend you stay home and do absolutely nothing? Or perhaps a snowball fight at a nearby park? Or baking something from the 1991 Caps Cookbook? Or Netflix and Chill, as, I understand, the youths are calling this “cuffing” season.

Stay safe, everybody.

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The Steve Dangle Lovefest (RMNB Podcast)

Hope you’re stocked up on toilet paper and bread because the DMV is about to get slammed by wintry weather. On the eve of the big storm, Ian and I got together to chat about the unspeakably dominant Caps’ season, the narrative driving their success, and how cold it is in my dang house.

Plus, Steve Dangle of Sportsnet joined us to talk about Shane McMahon and Oscar the Grouch. And hockey.

Subscribe to the RMNB Podcast on iTunes. If you would please give us a rating, that’d be super helpful.

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