One last piece of nonsense before we get down to business tonight: Microsoft, instead of building a useful version of Windows for desktops, instead published the not-at-all-a-data-mining ploy website, How-Old.net. You find a picture, and its magical algorithm tells you how old the person is.
I put the Capitals in. This thing is terrible. Or is it magical. I don’t know. Everything on the planet is great and awful at the same time.
The Caps and the Rangers have met in the playoffs a bunch, and that history doesn’t freaking matter at all. These Rangers are faster and less ham-fisted than Tortorella’s. These Capitals are less cautious than Hunter’s and less devastatingly awful than Oates’s. These are basically two new teams, and the Caps are the better one.
7:30 PM at MSG and on NBCSN. Caps in 6. Crash the net.
Little ol’ Chris Gordon has a big ol’ byline today. Over at the New York Times, where they spell NHL as “N.H.L.” and number one as “No. 1,” Gordon tells us the tale of Braden Holtby, a humble farm boy who rose to become the Washington Capitals’ most important player.
Good morning, Caps fans. Ian and I got together last night to discuss the Caps’ seven-game victory over the New York Islanders, the upcoming series against the New York Rangers, Ovi’s bid for the Hart, and a heck of a lot more.
Steve Dangle of Sportsnet (yeah, of Sportsnet; didn’t you hear? Bloggers be gettin’ paid) is cutting fun video recaps of every playoff series. On Tuesday he cut one for the Caps-Isles series, which everyone knew would go seven games. While Steve is a dedicated Toronto fan (and I’m using “fan” as a polite euphemism for basically Robert Deniro as Curly Renard in the movie The Fan), he had nothing but nice things to say about the series.
Game seven. Gay sev. The most Caps of Caps hockey. Will they lose in a teeth-gnasher or will they lose in a blowout?
THEY WILL DO NEITHER, GOOD SIR. THEY WILL DO NEITHER.
We were nearly forty minutes into a scoreless (and penalty-free) game when Brooks Orpik took a slapper from the blue line. Jaroslav Halak had the shot covered, but Joel Ward was all up on him. A couple vicious taps to a sensitive region and a slow trickle followed: 1-0 Capitals.
The Isles owned the puck early in the third. Frans Nielsen entered the zone and cut to the middle, putting a sneaky shot on Braden Holtby that went five-hole. Tie game with 17 minutes left.
Ten minutes later, Evgeny Kuznetsov was jokes. He moved laterally across the crease, undressing Halak and splaying him on his side. From no angle, Kuzy hit the back of the net.
The Washington Capitals have defeated the New York Islanders.
Tonight, the Capitals will play game seven against the New York Islanders. It will be the tenth time the club has played in a game seven in the playoffs. Of the nine that have come before, the Caps have won three.
Oh God What Happened
Lost 5-0 to the Rangers
Lost 2-1 to the Rangers
Beat the Bruins 2-1 in OT
Lost 2-1 to the Canadiens
Lost 6-2 to the Penguins
Beat the Rangers 2-1
Lost 3-2 to the Flyers
Lost 5-0 to the Penguins
Lost 3-1 to the Penguins
Lost 3-2 to the Devils
Beat the Flyers 5-4 in OT
Lost 3-2 to the Islanders in 4OT
Game seven (gay sev to those in the know) is a familiar, painful Capitals tradition– one that began in ’87 with the heartbreak that was the Easter Epic. No matter what happens tonight, the game will take years off your life. The anxiety is imminent, and it will certainly make you a worse employee and a lazier lover.
How are you preparing for the game? Are you wearing rad Caps gear? Is it radder than my my signed Bradley jersey? Are you making signs and taking them to the game? Got any chants in mind? What is your dog doing and is he/she cute?
Use this space to share your outfit, your plans, and your feels. We’ll get through this together.