The Washington Capitals vs How-Old.Net

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One last piece of nonsense before we get down to business tonight: Microsoft, instead of building a useful version of Windows for desktops, instead published the not-at-all-a-data-mining ploy website, How-Old.net. You find a picture, and its magical algorithm tells you how old the person is.

I put the Capitals in. This thing is terrible. Or is it magical. I don’t know. Everything on the planet is great and awful at the same time.

Check it out.

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SSJ ovi

Graphic: Ondrej T.

The Caps and the Rangers have met in the playoffs a bunch, and that history doesn’t freaking matter at all. These Rangers are faster and less ham-fisted than Tortorella’s. These Capitals are less cautious than Hunter’s and less devastatingly awful than Oates’s. These are basically two new teams, and the Caps are the better one.

7:30 PM at MSG and on NBCSN. Caps in 6. Crash the net.

Team Record Possession PDO Power Play Penalty Kill
Washington Capitals 45-26-11 51.9% 100.3 25.3% 81.2%
New York Rangers 53-22-7 50.6% 101.7 16.8% 84.3%

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p-v-i

Round two of the Stanley Cup Playoffs begin tonight. It’s time for a new round of predictions to be summarily mocked by you jerks in the comments.

But first, a look back at how we did in round one:

  1. Peter: 6 for 8
  2. Keith, a Coin: 4 for 8
  3. Ian: 2 for 8

Haha, a stupid coin beat Ian.

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Photo: Bruce Bennett

Little ol’ Chris Gordon has a big ol’ byline today. Over at the New York Times, where they spell NHL as “N.H.L.” and number one as “No. 1,” Gordon tells us the tale of Braden Holtby, a humble farm boy who rose to become the Washington Capitals’ most important player.

Give it a read by clicking on this mondo link.

Congratulations, Chris. You’ve made the Grey Lady look better than ever.

 

Round Two: Wrangling the Rangers (RMNB Podcast)

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Good morning, Caps fans. Ian and I got together last night to discuss the Caps’ seven-game victory over the New York Islanders, the upcoming series against the New York Rangers, Ovi’s bid for the Hart, and a heck of a lot more.

Plus, I spoke with Pete the Retailer (Star Wars Minute) and Adam Santiago (Your Favorite Album) about the perspective from New York, New York.

Enjoy!

The RMNB Podcast is on iTunes. If you enjoy it, please subscribe and rate us.

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Steve Dangle of Sportsnet (yeah, of Sportsnet; didn’t you hear? Bloggers be gettin’ paid) is cutting fun video recaps of every playoff series. On Tuesday he cut one for the Caps-Isles series, which everyone knew would go seven games. While Steve is a dedicated Toronto fan (and I’m using “fan” as a polite euphemism for basically Robert Deniro as Curly Renard in the movie The Fan), he had nothing but nice things to say about the series.

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Here’s Your Schedule for the Second Round

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Image: Washington Capitals

There’s still the small matter of the Wings versus the Bolts to be settled, but the NHL has already announced a provisional schedule for the second round of the playoffs.

The series begins Thursday night at 7:30 on the road at Madison Square Garden. Game two is a nooner on Saturday, with the Caps returning to Verizon Center on Monday and Wednesday.

For some reason, the NHL has marked games five through seven as “if needed,” but this is the Washington Capitals. They’re gonna be needed.

More details under the jump.

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Caps beat Islanders 2-1: Halak No More!

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The hero of game seven. Or, one of them.

Game seven. Gay sev. The most Caps of Caps hockey. Will they lose in a teeth-gnasher or will they lose in a blowout?

THEY WILL DO NEITHER, GOOD SIR. THEY WILL DO NEITHER.

We were nearly forty minutes into a scoreless (and penalty-free) game when Brooks Orpik took a slapper from the blue line. Jaroslav Halak had the shot covered, but Joel Ward was all up on him. A couple vicious taps to a sensitive region and a slow trickle followed: 1-0 Capitals.

The Isles owned the puck early in the third. Frans Nielsen entered the zone and cut to the middle, putting a sneaky shot on Braden Holtby that went five-hole. Tie game with 17 minutes left.

Ten minutes later, Evgeny Kuznetsov was jokes. He moved laterally across the crease, undressing Halak and splaying him on his side. From no angle, Kuzy hit the back of the net.

The Washington Capitals have defeated the New York Islanders.

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Caps vs Islanders Pregame: Game Seven.

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Photo: Capstagram

I’ll keep this short. You know the stakes.

“It’s game seven. It’s not about the jokes right now.” That’s what Alex Ovechkin told NHL.com’s Katie Brown this morning.

The series is tied 3-3. Winner advances. Loser’s season is done. 7:30 PM with Joe B and Locker on CSN..

Team Record Possession PDO Power Play Penalty Kill
Washington Capitals 45-26-11 51.9% 100.3 25.3% 81.2%
New York Islanders 47-28-7 53.5% 99.1 18.7% 78.0%

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How Are You Preparing for Game Seven?

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Tonight, the Capitals will play game seven against the New York Islanders. It will be the tenth time the club has played in a game seven in the playoffs. Of the nine that have come before, the Caps have won three.

Year Oh God What Happened
 2013 Lost 5-0 to the Rangers
 2012  Lost 2-1 to the Rangers
 2012 Beat the Bruins 2-1 in OT
 2010 Lost 2-1 to the Canadiens
 2009 Lost 6-2 to the Penguins
 2009 Beat the Rangers 2-1
 2008 Lost 3-2 to the Flyers
 1995 Lost 5-0 to the Penguins
 1992 Lost 3-1 to the Penguins
 1988 Lost 3-2 to the Devils
 1992 Beat the Flyers 5-4 in OT
 1987 Lost 3-2 to the Islanders in 4OT

Game seven (gay sev to those in the know) is a familiar, painful Capitals tradition– one that began in ’87 with the heartbreak that was the Easter Epic. No matter what happens tonight, the game will take years off your life. The anxiety is imminent, and it will certainly make you a worse employee and a lazier lover.

How are you preparing for the game? Are you wearing rad Caps gear? Is it radder than my my signed Bradley jersey? Are you making signs and taking them to the game? Got any chants in mind? What is your dog doing and is he/she cute?

Use this space to share your outfit, your plans, and your feels. We’ll get through this together.

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