Graphic by Nathan Burchfiel, existentialism by Albert Camus
Last night, the Penguins beat the Capitals in sudden death overtime… again. The loss is arguably one of the most painful in franchise history considering the context of the Caps’ historic season and the expectations the fanbase has heaped upon the organization.
Unlike in previous decades where I childishly ripped up trading cards of Sergei Fedorov (and clogged our toilet trying to flush them), I am handling this like any mature, rational adult would: just kind of staring into the abyss wondering why I do this to myself.
Miller Lite, Crispy M&Ms, the AARP.. and now Russian Machine Never Breaks. With tonight’s Sprint Cup Series race at Phoenix International Raceway, we entered the rarefied air of NASCAR sponsors. After a rain delay of nearly seven hours, our boy Ryan Ellis took to the track in his #33 ScienceLogic/RMNB Chevy SS for his debut race in NASCAR’s top series.
As we noted in our profile of him, Ryan is a huge Caps fan, former GMU hockey player, and RMNB reader from Ashburn. Ellis said his goal for the race was to learn and avoid accidents in the penultimate race of the year. He did just that, bringing his car home undamaged in 40th in a hectic race filled with uncertainties and the heat of NASCAR’s playoffs. The race was called due to rain after drivers completed 219 of the scheduled 312 laps. Going forward, Ryan hopes to build on this opportunity to get a full-time ride next year and continue to make Sprint Cup Series starts. Congrats to Ryan on a safe first race! This was one of the coolest things we’ve done as a blog. It was a thrill to share it with him. Let this be a lesson: RMNB readers are awesome!
We need your help on something very important to us. Peter and I met at Frederick High School 15 years ago and to this day we both still live in Frederick, Maryland. We love it here.
We formed RMNB about six years ago. Since then we’ve done some cool things: generate big traffic, break news about a Russian meteor, sponsor a NASCAR racer, and even moonlight on the Capitals’ TV show — while never forgetting our roots.
Accolades aren’t really our thing, but this one matters to us. We want to be the Best Blog of Frederick and dethrone The Housewives Of Frederick County, who have won this award like a million years in a row.
We need your help. We’ll make it easy on you. It’ll only take a minute of your time.
This weekend at Phoenix International Raceway, RMNB’s going country. Our logo will be on the side of Ryan Ellis‘s Sprint Cup car when the 25-year-old Virginian makes his debut in NASCAR’s top series. We’re an associate sponsor of Ellis’s #33 ScienceLogic Chevy SS, which will compete in the Quicken Loans Race for Heroes 500 on Sunday afternoon. Ryan’s a big Caps fan and an even bigger reader of RMNB. We’re happy to support him during this huge moment in his career.
Make sure to tune in to NBC this Sunday at 2:30 pm to watch the race. Please send us a bunch of screenshots when the ScienceLogic/RMNB #33 car zooms by on TV.
The developments out of Chicago and Buffalo in the last ten days have been nauseating. The NHL, by its inaction to fight the intolerable treatment of its women fans and by its explicit support for the craven behavior of the Chicago Blackhawks, has revealed itself to be not merely unwelcoming towards 50 percent of this planet, but actively hostile towards them.
If you are for whatever reason no longer inclined to support the Blackhawks or watch hockey (or read the Buffalo News), we totally understand why.
No more hockey coverage from us today. We all need to spend some quiet time reflecting on what we can do and what we are failing to do to make this world less wretched for one another.
In the meantime, please consider making a donation to RAINN. Your donation is 100-percent tax-deductible, and ninety-two cents on every dollar go directly to helping victims and preventing sexual violence.
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I’m busy baking mini-quiches in expectation of Ian coming over later tonight to record a new episode of the RMNB Podcast. We’ll be talking about the trade deadline, the playoffs, Ovi for Hart, and a lot more, but we need your input.
Please use the comments below to ask questions or share your thoughts on… well, anything really. If you like someone else’s question, please upvote it. Thanks!
Twenty fourteen was an odd one. In some ways it was our best year ever. In other ways it was our worst.
Our hockey team wasn’t good, but a lot of funny stuff happened. Our hockey team wasn’t good, but our traffic was up by a lot. Our hockey team wasn’t good, but then they got better.
Join me, won’t you, as we revisit our most popular stories of the year.
In January of 2013, Peter and I debuted RMNB’s first (and only) webcomic: Shinny!, a story about a very superstitious 20-something Caps fan named Shinny, her grumpy “Old Time Hockey” dad, and clueless fair-weather fan boyfriend, whose name is Chad.
The comic went on hiatus a year and a half ago, leaving readers with a bit of a cliffhanger: Shinny upset at choosing to bring her boyfriend to a Caps game over her father, and Chad feeling guilty for ruining their trip to the game.
Now, Shinny! is back, and ready to once again bring you some new stories revolving around the world of the Caps, NHL, and the whole wide world of hockey.
Friends, the RMNB fundraiser will end tonight at midnight. If you want to get an RMNB portrait shirt before it goes into the Disney vault for freaking ever, the time to act is now. If you want our hot new not-entirely-designed-yet koozy, maybe get on that.
The Making RMNB Last campaign has raised more than $22,000 so far– meaning we’re gonna be able to do some cool stuff next year and for years to come. We’ll have some announcements about the specifics, though for now I can tell you that we’ll be making the mobile-friendly website design a top priority in the new year.
We’re blown away by the fact that 590 people have donated already, but we also know that the RMNB family is way bigger than that. Whether you’re a longtime friend-of-the-blog or a brand-new reader, your contribution of any amount (even just $1), will go a long way toward making RMNB even better.
As an added bonus, today is also Ian’s birthday. (It’s not polite to ask how old. He’s old enough.) You can consider your last-minute gift as a sort of birthday present to him, without the shopping and the wrapping and the anxiety over “oh gosh, will he like what I got him?”
If you’ve contributed or are about to, thank you from the bottom of my cold black heart, which might grow three sizes some day soon. Knowing that RMNB (or at least the shirts) matters to you does more than make me feel good about the absurd expenditure of time that we have invested so far; it justifies a continuation and escalation of the sometimes-dumb, sometimes-important, usually-fun stuff that we do here. Get ready.
To celebrate the fundraiser and say thank you, we’re throwing a little party in Frederick on Friday night. If you contributed before Tuesday, you’ve already been notified about it. We’ll send a reminder again early Friday. If you haven’t been contacted but are interested in coming, shoot us an email. It’ll be fun and silly and thoroughly Frederick-y.
Now, I’m gonna answer some questions.
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
All original content on russianmachineneverbreaks.com is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-NC-SA 3.0)– unless otherwise stated or superseded by another license. You are free to share, copy, and remix this content so long as it is attributed, done for noncommercial purposes, and done so under a license similar to this one.