On Thursday night there was an important development regarding the friendship of roommates Andre Burakovsky, Tom Wilson, and Michael Latta. It seems Burakovsky considers Lats and Willy Baby his BroBeans. This is significant and breaking news.
In the seminal Wayne Knight film, Space Jam (1996, directed by Michael Jackson music video director Joe Pytka and written by at least four dudes), the Looney Tunes cartoons must defend the earth from hostile aliens by winning a basketball game. Asked to pick his team, Bugs Bunny went immediately for the greatest of all time, Michael Jordan. Should the same situation occur in the realm of hockey– and you freaking know it will– Alex Ovechkin knows who he’d want on his team.
Jonathan Toews Sidney Crosby Anze Kopitar
- Vladimir Putin
Oh. Okay. Well, here we go again.
Anyone who followed Troy Brouwer during his time with the Capitals knows he’s what you might call a hoarder of headwear. The man has a comprehensive collection of caps. He’s the Imelda Marcos of hats.
For some St. Louis fans, learning that their new forward is a bucket buff came as a shock. On Tuesday Brouwer shared a photo of him and his daughter Kylie doing some last-minute sightseeing before they move to St. Louis. Brouwer was wearing the hat of the Washington Nationals, who are definitely not located in St Louis.
Photo: Ronald Martinez
Sometimes we get questions from readers and other times people just tell us to do stuff.
@russianmachine Make an article on if you think acquiring Tyler Bozak is a good idea. Proposals are Laich and a 2nd
— r (@WasCaps08) July 14, 2015
To be direct, it would be a terrible move to acquire Tyler Bozak because he’s not a very good hockey player.
I would’ve been fine with that response alone, but apparently this rumor’s got legs, so let’s get into it.
Tom Wilson announced on Instagram this weekend that his family went on a trip. “Nothing beats family time at the cottage,” Wilson said in his caption. Please notice: Everybody here is fully clothed, except for a shirtless Wilson. But I guess with abs like that you gotta let the body breathe.
Non-surprisingly on Instagram, this photo had 5,239 likes (as of midnight Monday morning) and the comments are super fun.
Here are some of my favorites.
Photo: LA Kings
Wednesday night, the Caps made a big move signing Justin Williams to an affordable two-year deal. Williams has the reputation of a leader who thrives in big moments. He’s also a darn good hockey player who really does make players around him better.
While Joel Ward had been clutch for the Caps over the last three years, new Caps right wing Justin Williams is even clutchier. They call him Mr. Game Seven after all.
What other image could I possibly use?
Tuesday, Chip Alexander of the Raleigh News & Observer reported that the Carolina Hurricanes are buying out Alex Semin just two seasons after signing a five-year, $35 million extension with the club. According to War On Ice, the move will save the Canes’ $7 million. They will pay out $14 million over the next six seasons. Ouch.
Over the last decade, Caps fans have gotten to know Alex Ovechkin and watched him become one of the greatest goal scorers of all-time. Along the way, we’ve also been exposed to Ovi’s style of communication. There’s always lots of ha ha‘s and exclamation points. And parentheses.
Parenthesis use on social media grew out of Russia as an alternative to smilies. It’s similar to the use of terms like LOL, ROFL, and LIRL— just coded in a simpler way.
Have you seen those Discovery documentaries about elephant language? This is pretty much it.
Photo: Bruce Bennett
On Saturday, the Capitals gave up two goals at even strength (and a garbage empty-netter) in game six, pushing the series to what is likely to be a hurl-inducing game seven on Monday. Usually giving up two goals is a good omen (especially for the talented Capitals), but during this wacky series, in five of the six games the losing team has scored only one goal.
That means that tiny mistakes are magnified. It also means that if you’re focusing on the wrong things– like settling a score or going out of your way to throw a big body check– the open ice you’re surrendering could make the difference between winning and losing, especially against a fast Islanders team.
Two of the Capitals’ leaders made tiny mistakes that turned into back-breaking goals in game six. Let’s review.