As we learned earlier, Mike Green will return to active play tonight after missing 73 billion games due to an injury to his love machine.

To celebrate Green’s return to the ice, here is a printable poster!

The mondo link below will download a PDF, which fits an 8.5″ x 11″ page splendidly. Download the file and print a million of these to pass out to everyone you see at Verizon Center. Mike Green is back. GAME ON.

DOWNLOAD THE GAME ON SIGN
DOWNLOAD THE GAME ON SIGN IN BLACK & WHITE

Based on reports from this morning’s practice, Jay Beagle is back in action. After missing 31 games following a fight with Pittsburgh’s Arron Asham, Beagle is suiting up to play tonight versus the New York Rangers. It’ll be his first game since October 13th, just in time for HBO 24/7 too.

To celebrate Beagle’s return to active duty, here are some printable posters!

The mondo link below will download a PDF, which fits an 8.5″ x 11″ page perfectly. Download the file and print a few billion of these to pass out to everyone you see at Verizon Center. Let Jay know you’re glad he’s healthy and ready to play like the scrappy little pup he is!

DOWNLOAD THE FOUND: BEAGLE SIGN

We issued a challenge, oh faithful users of the Russian Machine, to create Caps-themed Christmas cards. The only rule: use an inferior graphics program or blingee.com to make it.

What we avoided telling you — just like my parents who took 14 years to come clean to me about the whole Santa thing (he IS real) — was that we didn’t have to follow the same rules. Above, is our holiday card by RMNB’s house illustrator, Rachel Cohen.

Meanwhile, you guys rocked this assignment harder than a Dmitry Orlov hip check. Though, to be honest, some of these submissions might land you on Santa’s naughty list once I post this. I apologize beforehand. Cruise on past the jump to check out the gallery and see what I mean.

First, the mega-talented Josh Wilcox (a must-follow on Twitter @thatwilcoxguy) shows us that while adults might find Ovi’s gap-toothed smile endearing, babies are terrified by it.

Stephanie Carosa’s (@carrotbazooka on Twitter) card tells that the Caps’ Swedes celebrate Christmas too. In a weird, Charles Schultz-y way. And with an easy-to-build tree from IKEA designed by European artist SINTERKLAAS.

Brendan Sheridan (@MD_DC on Twitter) shows us who’s really running things in DC. Click on it to take a closer look. The players look SO conniving!

The @KnublesKnights Xmas “card” is a crystal-clear sign of mental illness.

Beyond this card being cute and well done, I also must applaud Kathryn Tighe for making Karl Alzner the Santa here. While he’s neither the captain or a leading scorer, he can grow the best beard. It just makes sense for him to be Saint Nick. Also, while we’re talking about it, please like our Facebook fan page dedicated to Alzner’s beard.

Michele Hopper shows off her entire family of Caps fans. I want to high-five you all.

Shockingly, HolidayBlues.tumblr.com was the only person to send us a JibJab video this year. Though this one is particularly funny with Ovi’s face the way it is. Check it out to see what I mean!

Via Molly Yanchulis, we have Ovechkin in the manger scene! I can only imagine, his first words to baby Jesus were “ahaha best))))))”

After fat-gate over the summer (and really, in hindsight, how freaking stupid was that?), Miranda Kerr jokingly believes that Ovi would rather have the McDonalds’ buffet than lead the NHL in goals.

@Hockey_Fan_10 wants to wish us all a Merry Capsmas.

Let’s all thank @Caps_Girl for giving Mike Green and Ovechkin such seductive poses here.

RMNB readers Brooks L. and Joel W. would like to wish you guys a Merry Christmas. Though it takes them forever to spit it out.

RMNB reader Elizabeth Seuss re-writes the 12 Days of Christmas for Caps fans.

Eve R. gives more free advertisement on our site for Rosetta Stone. Remember guys, Ted Leonsis isn’t just an owner, he’s a customer too!

Who needs Robin when you can have Brooks Laich? Nice job, Richard Skelton!

This may not be Caps or Christmas related, but Don Cherry’s piano desk cracks me up. Thanks for sending it over, @skylarmoonbeam!

All Kellie S. wants for Christmas is Braden Holtby to be the starting goaltender.

Finally, my personal gift to you guys, which I’ve re-gifted from Jack Anderson: The 12 Days of Jeanneret. For those of you who don’t know, Rick Jeanneret is the play-by-play guy for the Sabres. Beyond Joe B and Mike Emrick, there’s no better announcer in the NHL. A few years ago, XM Radio posted this song to celebrate some of his more brilliant and uh… eccentric calls during his career. RIGHT WHERE MOMMA HIDES THE COOKIES. With the Capitals playing Buffalo on Monday, it seemed apropos. Enjoy!

One more? Okay! Why not? Let’s close with one last card from our uber-talented illustrator Rachel Cohen.

Welp, Merry Christmas, you guys! Let us know which cards you like most in the comments below. And have a safe and wonderful holiday.

When I’m not illustrating, I sew things! Lots of my sewing work is costuming, but I sometimes make “normal” clothing and– most recently– plushies.

After I drew the design for the Alexander Semin “Sasha Cares” t-shirt, my mother gave me an excellent idea: “Why don’t you sew a real one?”

Drafting patterns is not my specialty, so to start I managed to get my hands on a vintage Care Bears “Wish Bear” plush pattern from 1983. So glad I didn’t try to make my own pattern—The one I bought had 20 different pieces to it, each with lots of little darts and seams and details.

The pattern itself was pretty straightforward, the only differences being the color scheme, and the appliqué details on the stomach, back, and face.

The shooting star on Wish Bear’s belly was now the silhouette of a Weagle. And to make sure people knew it was Sasha, I added his number to the back. They were both sewn on by hand. The shapes were too complicated to stitch by machine. Appliquéing by hand was tedious, but worth the result.

The hardest part of the plush was getting the face right after the whole body had been constructed and stuffed, especially the eyes. It took many trials to get them to look the way I wanted to. They differ from the original drawing, since the look of the eyes on the drawing did not translate to 3D as well as they do in just a flat illustration. The eyes and nose are hand-appliquéd fabric. The rest of the details (i.e. the eyebrows, mouth, and freckle-like dots) in the face were embroidered by hand with heavy-duty perle cotton thread.

After finishing the face, I gave Sasha Bear some hair and a signature obnoxious gold chain. And voilá! Alex Semin cared so much… He became a Care Bear. Sasha Bear is made entirely of fleece, and is super soft and cuddly!! You judge for yourself.

Will I ever make another Sasha Bear? Unless the man himself asks for one, NOPE. But this was a fun project to sew and who knows? There’s a pattern for a Care Bear Sheep out there. Maybe Sasha Bear will some day get his best pal to keep him company.

After years of knowing he was on the far side of the world, Verizon Center is about to have another unpleasant outbreak of Jaromir Jagr. Tuesday’s game with the Philadelphia Flyers marks Jagr’s return to to his old team, reminding us all of a dark time in Caps history.

In deference to JJ, I have created two posters, ready to print and download.

The mondo links below will download PDFs, which fit an 8.5 x 11 page perfectly. Download the files and print a million of these little dudes out (on post-consumer paper, duh) to pass out to everyone you see at Verizon Center. Make some noise for 68 and let ‘em know you remember him fondly. Hahaha.

DOWNLOAD THE NO-JAGR SIGN
DOWNLOAD THE $40 MILLION SIGN

Also, check out our DALE posters (recently seen on NHL Live!)

Your boy Dan Steinberg found some old posters celebrating Dale Hunter’s 1993 return to the Caps after a 21-game suspension. Now that Dale is the team’s head coach, we’ve recreated those posters.

The mondo link below will download a PDF, which fits an 8.5 x 11 page perfectly. Download the file and print a few dozen of these bad boys out (on recycled paper, obvs) to pass out to everyone you see in Chinatown. Let’s make some noise tonight and make Huntsy feel welcome.

DOWNLOAD THE DALE SIGN
Pdf (213kb)

Crash the net.

He’s baaaaaaaack!

Alex Reut, the man behind the not-at-all-cursed Capitals/Stanley Cup painting, is here to do some good. Reut is auctioning off the work above, and he will donate the proceeds to Love for Lokomotiv.

This is a gigantic link to the auction page.

The painting is a 42″ x 39″ oil-on-canvas depicting the Washington Capitals and Pittsburgh Penguins at the Winter Classic. Sidney Crosby, Alex Ovechkin, Evgeni Malkin, and a bunch of other guys are there– all dressed in their special Winter Classic uniforms. Reut, a Russian emigre, dedicates the painting to the men and women who died in the Lokomotiv tragedy. Bidding starts at $3,000.

We talked to the Love for Lokomotiv people, and they’re cool with it. At the end of the auction, Reut will write a check to Love for Lokomotiv in the amount of the final bid (minus shipping expenses).

In the meantime, we’re gonna see if we can find some way to get this bad boy signed by some Russian players. Maybe that’ll drive up the price some. Either way, let’s thank Alex for using his art to do something good (for a change). Instead of cursing the great Washington Capitals with his craft, he has instead donated his labor to a truly worthy cause. If you can’t put in a bid for the painting, please consider buying a snazzy bracelet right from Love for Lokomotiv.

And Alex: We forgive you.

Here’s a tiny version of the drawing:

You’re gonna have to follow me past the jump to see the whole thing. You’ll be glad you did.

Terrific. Check out Mark’s post for kanooblian over at Rare Words. He’s got an eBay auction going on for the original artwork as well.

Thanks, Mark! This probably goes without saying, but…

CRASH THE NET.

We set out a task, faithful users of the Russian Machine, to create birthday cards worthy of our gut-less (wait, did that sound bad?) leader. The only rules: use an inferior graphics program to make it.

What we avoided telling you again this year was that we didn’t have to follow the same rules. Above, is our Penguin-Pinata card for Ovi via RMNB illustrator, Rachel Cohen.

Meanwhile, you guys rocked this assignment harder than a Bruce Boudreau fitness test. Unfortunately, only one of you could win our grand prize: a RMNB t-shirt and a Mr. Big Bar. Cruise on past the jump to check out the gallery.

First, we start with the people who didn’t follow directions.

First, Alice A. sends us “The Ovi Dance,” as performed by Phillip — whom we’re going to assume is her kid (no clarification in the email). The editing: profound and superb. How about this? Alice, send us your address and we’ll mail your son over a Mr. Big Bar. Well, just as long as you promise to take video of  him dancing after he eats it.

Jenna M. tweeted us a cake. For what this lacks in pretty pictures it makes up for in high fructose corn syrup!

To the actual cards! Reader Justine K. flipped the script on a “In Soviet Russia” joke. The illustration of Ovechkin: tremendous. The cutting out of the illustration: not so much.

Not sure why Alex Semin and Bon Jovi have jetpacks here, but it sure makes me laugh. Via the demented mind of Brendan S!

Reader Sarah pokes a little fun at Ovi’s ways of communicating online.

Lisa A. too!

Someone tell Alex N. that you need to keep the cup at least an arms length away from your favorite team’s superstars or you’ll jinx them to hell like we did in the playoffs.

Reader Hosannah, confounded like everyone else by Ovi’s pants on pants combination, let’s Ovi know we still love him.

Via holidayblues.tumblr.com, here’s Ovi’s detached head in a box. Weird. My favorite part of this graphic is the dots around the text. Really gives it a professional look.

Here’s another one from our buddy, Alex N., who took out the colored pencils for this masterpiece!

We hope all your wishes come true too, Ovi (but don’t eat too much pizza)! Via Reader Miranda K.

Sasha O. sent us this card via twi… Hey, wait a minute. How did this get in here?

Also via Reader Miranda K.

LuAyne B. helps Snoop Dogg pass along his well wishes! Fantastic.

When I first saw this card, I couldn’t stop laughing. Who knew Ovi looked so much like Chewy when he put on that hat and burka in Dagestan. Great work, Brendan S.!

Defending birthday card champion Stephanie C. makes it rain nachos.

Just like Anastasia and her grandmother were united “Together in Paris” in the film, we hope on the year of his 26th brirthday that Ovie and Lord Stanley can find themselves united “Together in Washington.” Congrats, Rachel C. You’re our grand prize winner. Shoot us an email!

Sneaking some Junior Mints in my cargo shorts cause ain’t no way I’m paying $8.50 for Junior Mints.

Trailer!

But because the memory of the hockey season has not yet faded, we had to find some way to tie this back to the Washington Capitals. Can you guess what we came up with?

RACHEL COHEN FOR THE WIN!

And here’s your DVD extras.

Art by Bryan Hitch from The Ultimates, Vol. II

ASSEMBLE!