After single-handedly beating Russia (sad face) in an Olympic shootout last year, the TJ Oshie #brand became more closely associated with the US National Team than the NHL team he played for, the St. Louis Blues. Now that he’s been traded to the Capitals, Oshie, much like this new RMNB T-shirt, is 1,776% more patriotic.
Now excuse me while I go shout some things. FREEDOM! APPLE PIE! EAGLES! KEN GRIFFEY’S GROTESQUELY SWOLLEN JAW!
Saturday night, I watched in horror as the Anaheim Ducks lost in game seven to the Chicago Blackhawks 5-3. I, the sadistic Caps fan that I am, was rooting for Bruce Boudreau to make it to the Stanley Cup Finals because of how much he did for this area while he coached Washington and Hershey. Instead Bruce’s team collapsed in another big game. He was so tantalizingly close.
Pro Hockey Talk described Bruce’s futility in game sevens, and it’s pretty much the most depressing thing you’ll ever read.
No matter what happens Wednesday, the Washington Capitals have had a fantastic season and two dramatic playoff series we’ll all remember. Along the way, we’ve learned a new phrase uttered by one of our favorite Russians, we’ve closed a coliseum, and we even saw our beloved goaltender go into beast mode.
With all the special projects we’ve done this season, there hasn’t been much time for shirts. Today we have five. Hopefully, you’re going to love them.
Image by me
Thursday night, after tallying the game-winning goal with 1.3 seconds left and becoming the third NHL player ever to score a playoffs GWG with two seconds left, adoring Capitals fans started memeing Ward.
For one week only you can buy RMNB’s Emoji poster for $15.
Late last week, Apple released the latest version of iOS. It was cool and all, but there was still one major problem.
Still no hockey emoji pic.twitter.com/TVZhAH8Agl
— Hockey Culture (@HockeyCuIture) April 8, 2015
Apple refuses to create emoji for the greatest sport in the world!
RMNB is here to fix all of that– at least for the Capitals. You can thank illustrator Rachel Cohen (and my crazy mind too).
Photo: Caps Instagram
Braden Holtby has been busy this year, playing in 53 of the Capitals’ 62 games. Maybe that’s why he just unveiled his fourth new mask of the 2014-15 season. Painted by Swedish artist Dave Gunnarsson, the mask integrates some design features from Holtby’s Winter Classic bucket. The hand-painted Uncle Sam portrait, an homage to Olie Kolzig, returns on the chin.
Photoshop by Ian
Barry Trotz got hit by Marcus Johansson’s stick tonight. That was maybe the most exciting part of an otherwise dreary game, so Ian cranked out this photoshop.
And now, because Peter insisted…
RMNB’s Sorting Hat sorts the 2014-15 Capitals!
Halifax, Nova Scotia native Liam O’Brien was the biggest surprise of Capitals training camp this season. The scrappy fourth-line forward received a jersey on opening night and managed to play in 13 NHL games for the team through the season’s first two months. He even scored his first NHL goal and became beloved by fans for wagging his tongue. While his fairytale story has been compelling I’ve been fascinated with something different entirely: O’Brien’s resemblance to two-time WWE champion, Sheamus (see here, here, and here).
O’Brien must have seen this because he dressed up like the “The Celtic Warrior” over the weekend in Hershey. Goodness, this is the most amazing hockey/wrestling-themed thing I’ve ever seen.
Nostalgia is at the core of the Winter Classic. The Caps will wear jerseys honoring the Washington DC professional hockey team of the 1930’s. Braden Holtby will wear vintage pads and a mask honoring the greatest Caps goaltender of all-time, Olie Kolzig.
We don’t know what Barry Trotz will wear. In the past, some coaches have embraced a vintage style, such as Dan Blysma’s fedora/varsity jacket getup in 2011. But each coach seems to make his own call on what he’ll wear.
We’re here to help Barry Trotz find an outfit that captures his essence. I’m sure he’ll look great and neckless no matter what he wears.
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
All original content on russianmachineneverbreaks.com is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-NC-SA 3.0)– unless otherwise stated or superseded by another license. You are free to share, copy, and remix this content so long as it is attributed, done for noncommercial purposes, and done so under a license similar to this one.