After years of getting eviscerated by internet memes made by pouty hockey fans, LeBron James has had enough. He’s leaving Miami. I know many of you want him to take his talents to the District. The Wizards just need that last piece or two to become a real contender, and LeBron could be it. I’m happy to confirm the report: LeBron is coming to Washington.
…Just not to play basketball.
He’s going to sign with the Washington Capitals.
About two weeks ago, I posted my illustration of medieval fantasy-inspired heraldry banners for each NHL team. Little did I know that the post would go viral, getting picked up on The Hockey News, TSN, and USA Today. I had a lot of people ask about posters. Well, they’re now available!
You can get them in two sizes: 12″ x 18″, and a HUMONGOUS BIG 24″ x 36″ Both are available in my Etsy shop (along with other kinds of art prints!!) The posters are printed on nice, thick, heavy-duty paper. They’re waaaaay nicer than any kind of poster you’d find in a retail shop.
RMNB resident illustrator Rachel Cohen is a very talented, very busy little bee. Inspired by Game of the Thrones, which has totally gone off the rails btw, Rachel has crafted medieval sigils for all thirty NHL teams.
Black bear on a field of gold? That’s house Boston. Winged leaf on a field of blue? That’s house Winnipeg, who were exiled from their ancestral home in Atlanta just like the Manderlys.
All 30 below the jump. Bravo, Rachel. Go read her tumblr, which is full of feels.
One week ago, Jay Beagle played his best ever game as a pro — a two-goal outing against the Chicago Blackhawks. On our Facebook page, which you should follow if you do not already, reader Crystal N. posted a photo on our game recap post. The photo got 23 likes.
Because it was a Beagle in a Jay Beagle jersey.
Last week, you’ll remember, we asked Halak if he was getting his bucket painted.
“I’m getting my mask soon,” Halak said to me, too embarrassed to hold up his vanilla bucket. “It’s by a painter [from] Montreal.”
Well today, Diel Airbrush released photos of Halak’s new mask and it’s majestic.
It seems like NHL.com isn’t doing those awful puns for headlines anymore. Yes, much to Adam Vingan‘s disappointment, Evgeny Kuznetsov‘s big three-point night isn’t gonna get the big-league treatment.
Don’t worry. We’ve got you covered.
For almost two months, Adam Oates rode the hot hand in net with Philipp Grubauer. Grubi was impressive in his first extended look with the big-league team, putting up a 6-5-5 record, a .925 save percentage, and a 2.38 GAA in 17 games. In fact, Grubauer dominated so much that George McPhee felt comfortable enough to fill Michal Neuvirth’s trade request, thereby slating Grubi to become the Caps’ back-up goalie for the 2014-15 season.
With more opportunity soon on the horizon, Grubauer has commissioned crazy ol’ Swede David Gunnarsson to paint him a new Capitals themed mask. There’s nothing amazing here, but the design is still pretty baller. It’s like July 4th with Capitals logos.
For moar goals just add water & crash the net.
We’re so happy to welcome Dustin Penner to the Capitals. At 6-foot-4 and 247 pounds, Penner is a big chunk of dude who is liable to crash the net. Plus, he’s a bit of character. Actually, he might be the most RMNB-y player the Caps have ever had.
Marcus Johansson and Nick Backstrom wore suits and rode bikes on their path to silver. The lasting image of the Olympic games, we’ve decided, won’t be Nick Backstrom looking like a sad Swedish puppy at a press conference; it’ll be he and Mojo looking like toughest and most fashionable dudes ever to ride bikes.
Wear this shirt if you can master the art of being tough, stylish, and dorky as hell all at once.
Ryan, 8, and Emily, 5, of Frederick, Maryland usually make signs for their favorite Washington Capitals players before games. But on Saturday night, the brother and sister traded their red crayons for yellow and blue ones. With Sweden set to take on Canada tomorrow, Ryan and Emily made adorable signs and pennants for Nicklas Backstrom and Marcus Johansson. Mom tells us they are going to hold them up during the gold medal game Sunday morning.
Tomorrow we are all Swedes.
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
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