Illustration by the one and only Rachel Cohen
Today is one of the best days of the year. On this beautiful Wednesday we celebrate the birth of our blog’s namesake, Alex Ovechkin. And since Ovi has everything a guy could ever wish for (except the respect of Canadian pundits), we figured that the best gift would be something creative: homemade birthday cards.
Unlike in years past where we’ve asked you to email us five-minute scribbles in Microsoft Paint, this year we’ve simplified the submission process. You can create a card in any way you’d like: Photoshop, noodles, Vines, GIFs, YouTube, whatever. You can upload your file in the comments or put a link to it. Our commenting system, DISQUS, has a great explainer on how to properly upload JPEGs and link to all other rich media like GIFs, Youtube, Vine, and tweets.
But please, don’t pull a Gormley. It’s not Alex Ovechkin’s 30th Birthday. It’s his 29th.
Please do us proud and vote for your favorite cards. Downvote whatever Peter does. There are a lot of fun topics to potentially cover here. If you need inspiration, check out our last four years of cards.
Have a blast, and happy birthday, Ovi!
Birthday card by Lisa A.
С Днем Рождения to the Russian machine himself, Alexander Ovechkin. Ovi turns 29 years old on Wednesday the 17th. He’s got one year left in his twenties, so here’s hoping he can scoar moar goals within that window.
But that won’t matter until October. For now, we just want your help in wishing him a happy day. We’ve done this before; you know the drill. Make a birthday card for Ovi and post in the comments of our Happy Birthday article that will be released Wednesday at 12 AM.
After years of getting eviscerated by internet memes made by pouty hockey fans, LeBron James has had enough. He’s leaving Miami. I know many of you want him to take his talents to the District. The Wizards just need that last piece or two to become a real contender, and LeBron could be it. I’m happy to confirm the report: LeBron is coming to Washington.
…Just not to play basketball.
He’s going to sign with the Washington Capitals.
About two weeks ago, I posted my illustration of medieval fantasy-inspired heraldry banners for each NHL team. Little did I know that the post would go viral, getting picked up on The Hockey News, TSN, and USA Today. I had a lot of people ask about posters. Well, they’re now available!
You can get them in two sizes: 12″ x 18″, and a HUMONGOUS BIG 24″ x 36″ Both are available in my Etsy shop (along with other kinds of art prints!!) The posters are printed on nice, thick, heavy-duty paper. They’re waaaaay nicer than any kind of poster you’d find in a retail shop.
RMNB resident illustrator Rachel Cohen is a very talented, very busy little bee. Inspired by Game of the Thrones, which has totally gone off the rails btw, Rachel has crafted medieval sigils for all thirty NHL teams.
Black bear on a field of gold? That’s house Boston. Winged leaf on a field of blue? That’s house Winnipeg, who were exiled from their ancestral home in Atlanta just like the Manderlys.
All 30 below the jump. Bravo, Rachel. Go read her tumblr, which is full of feels.
One week ago, Jay Beagle played his best ever game as a pro — a two-goal outing against the Chicago Blackhawks. On our Facebook page, which you should follow if you do not already, reader Crystal N. posted a photo on our game recap post. The photo got 23 likes.
Because it was a Beagle in a Jay Beagle jersey.
Last week, you’ll remember, we asked Halak if he was getting his bucket painted.
“I’m getting my mask soon,” Halak said to me, too embarrassed to hold up his vanilla bucket. “It’s by a painter [from] Montreal.”
Well today, Diel Airbrush released photos of Halak’s new mask and it’s majestic.
It seems like NHL.com isn’t doing those awful puns for headlines anymore. Yes, much to Adam Vingan‘s disappointment, Evgeny Kuznetsov‘s big three-point night isn’t gonna get the big-league treatment.
Don’t worry. We’ve got you covered.
For almost two months, Adam Oates rode the hot hand in net with Philipp Grubauer. Grubi was impressive in his first extended look with the big-league team, putting up a 6-5-5 record, a .925 save percentage, and a 2.38 GAA in 17 games. In fact, Grubauer dominated so much that George McPhee felt comfortable enough to fill Michal Neuvirth’s trade request, thereby slating Grubi to become the Caps’ back-up goalie for the 2014-15 season.
With more opportunity soon on the horizon, Grubauer has commissioned crazy ol’ Swede David Gunnarsson to paint him a new Capitals themed mask. There’s nothing amazing here, but the design is still pretty baller. It’s like July 4th with Capitals logos.
For moar goals just add water & crash the net.
We’re so happy to welcome Dustin Penner to the Capitals. At 6-foot-4 and 247 pounds, Penner is a big chunk of dude who is liable to crash the net. Plus, he’s a bit of character. Actually, he might be the most RMNB-y player the Caps have ever had.
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
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