Esteemed pest control company, American Pest, protects your home from all kind of varmint. Let’s — hypothetically— say you cooked up two trays of red Jello shots for the playoffs and then accidentally left them out on your counter with a nearby window open, and then ants roughly equal in number to the cast of Ben-Hur began an occupation of your kitchen. American Pest can help.
American Pest is also a Washington Capitals sponsor, and they’re running a contest whereby you can win tickets to the Capitals-Penguins game on December 1st. The contest, in all its byzantine logic, is described below:
Sheepvechkin! (Illustration by Rachel Cohen)
Today is Halloween, which for me means less than one month until my birthday! Yay! Oh wait — I mean, dressing up, eating candy, and looking like a tool. To celebrate the holiday right, we figured we’d do a Halloween-themed post.
I’ll be honest: when I heard Chris Gordon‘s demand to solicit Caps-themed jack-o-lanterns, I thought we’d get maybe four images and this post would be a total disaster. Three days and 50 emails later, holy lord did you guys come through in a BIG way. (I guess that’s why he contributes to the New York Times, and I don’t.)
We’ve got Caps logos, we’ve got Ovi heads, and we’ve got 10 million Weagle-carved pumpkins. Follow me past the jump to check out the gallery.
Oh yeah. Homeowners, please remember: the more Mr. Big bars you give out to the kids tonight, the more goals Ovechkin will score on Tuesday. So don’t be stingy. And kids, show no restraint in eating your candy when you get home. Sugar is good for you, no matter what your parents say. Eat it all in one night. Dive into those Kit-Kats and Milky Ways like Alex Ovechkin dives into the boards after scoaring. Type II diabetes be damned.
It’s that time of year. Hockey is back in full-swing, the leaves are falling, and the Columbus Blue Jackets have been eliminated from playoff contention. (Only took nine games this time.)
With Halloween just a few days away, we have a challenge for you. After some nudging from our close friends (nudging, nagging, whatever), we’re asking you to send in photos of your Caps-themed (or just hockey-themed) jack-o-lanterns.
Rachel Cohen’s new “Run, run, run Caps” illustration
We love our readers. So much so that whenever we get together, we always try to think of ways to show our appreciation for y’all.
This year we’re going to try something new. Today, I’m here to announce our new “Pick Em'” Contest.
We set out a task, faithful users of the Russian Machine, to create birthday cards worthy of our gut-less (wait, did that sound bad?) leader. The only rules: use an inferior graphics program to make it.
What we avoided telling you again this year was that we didn’t have to follow the same rules. Above, is our Penguin-Pinata card for Ovi via RMNB illustrator, Rachel Cohen.
Meanwhile, you guys rocked this assignment harder than a Bruce Boudreau fitness test. Unfortunately, only one of you could win our grand prize: a RMNB t-shirt and a Mr. Big Bar. Cruise on past the jump to check out the gallery.
Update: Let’s announce the winners! (This gets complicated. Bare with us.)
At 11:44am on Twitter, Caps’ senior writer Mike Vogel reported that the Capitals made their first trade of the day at 11:15 am, trading prospect Jake Hauswirth and their 2011 third round draft pick in exchange for puck-moving defenseman Dennis Wideman of the Florida Panthers. Since Vogs is an official member of the Capitals and the @washcaps twitter handle did not announce the trade, we’re going to go with the times Vogel tweeted AND the official time of the deal. Therefore we have two winners to announce.
The first winner for the 11:15 time is Nichole U., who may or may not have her own Monte Carlo Machine. She guessed that GMGM’s first trade would come at 11:12 am. Only three minutes off! Fortunately — or unfortunately depending on how you look at it — she is the significant other of RMNB blogger Neil Greenberg. Therefore, she is disqualified from winning. The next closest time was long-time reader of the blog, Amanda H., who guessed 11:08 am. So Amanda, please email your address to email@example.com so we can send you your puck.
The second winner – for when Vogel tweeted and announced the trade – is Betsy P., who guessed 11:43 am, only a minute off of his time. Betsy, please email us your address as well and you’ll get a signed puck too.
Thanks to everyone else who participated! That was fun. Let’s do it again next year.
Ovi’s all growned up!
Our hero and blog namesake, Alexander Ovechkin, will turn the ripe old age of 25 on Friday. To celebrate the occasion, Russian Machine Never Breaks is throwing one of those contest things we’re trying to become known for.
The contest: Using MS Paint or any other primitive graphic program (Photoshop is cheating), make a birthday card for Alex Ovechkin. Let Ovie know that you love him and wish him the best for his silver year. Draw him a pretty picture, write him a poem, demonstrate somehow that you are person of passion and culture. Whatever it takes. Send your submissions, either by attachment or in a link, to firstname.lastname@example.org. Use the subject line “Ovie’s birthday card”. We will accept submissions until Friday at 5pm. That night we will share the submissions, name a winner and present our own card.
The prize: The winner of the contest will win a high-quality RMNB t-shirt. The winner of the contest will be selected by our arbitrary and completely capricious judges.
Remember: this is Ovie’s birthday. Do what he’d do; kick some ass and do it with a big, goofy smile on your face.
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
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