Anatomy of a Losing Streak

neuvyFace

Photo credit: Else/Getty Images

On December 1st, 2010, the Washington Capitals stomped out the Blues 4-1 in St. Louis. It was a perfectly serviceable win, and insignificant by most accounts, except that it would be the Caps’ final W for the next two-and-a-half weeks. For the next eighteen days, our beloved team would suit up in their gear for the sole purpose of discovering new and exciting ways to break our hearts.

On December 19th, the Capitals finally snapped their eight-game slump with a rousing victory over the Ottawa Senators. We thought it appropriate to mark the passing of the wicked streak in the same post-mortem fashion that we gave last year’s 14-game winning streak. So this will be just like that, except miserable and with fewer free buffalo wings.

Continue Reading

RMNB Presents a Sneak Peak of Alex Ovechkin: The GR8

Thanks to a helpful tip via email, RMNB brings to you the exclusive sneak peak of the next DVD you will buy, entitled “Alex Ovechkin: The GR8.” Not going to lie: it looks pretty epic.

Check out the preview, where you will see Ovi scoaring moar goals, shooting hoops with his moms, and – for the ladies – shirtlessness. (You’ll see what I mean in the screencaps below.)

Continue Reading

Capitals Superfan Goat Gets Hitched

William 'Goat' Stilwell weds Jill Hunt. Dude, awesome.

Goat and Jill rock the wed. (Photo credit: Wes Johnson)

Goat, recently featured on Espn.com

The madman of 105 (Photo: ESPN)

You might not know him by name, but William Stilwell is a legend to Caps fans. At any moment, the man known as GOAT can fill Verizon Center to the rafters with his boomy “Let’s! Go! Caps!” holler. Goat has become a Capitals institution, a good-natured leader of cheers, as reliable as he is boisterous. He is– in short– beloved.

This past Saturday, Goat married his sweetheart Jill. The ceremony, held at the L’Enfant Plaza Hotel in downtown D.C., was attended by friends, family, and a smattering of Caps notables. Sam “The Horn Guy” Wolk and our own Ian Oland attended. The wedding itself was officiated by the voice of the Capitals (and perhaps the only guy louder than Goat), Wes Johnson.

Continue Reading

Tagged with:
 

EXCLUSIVE: Alan May has an iPhone

So we’re just kicking it, eating some Mallomars, watching CSN’s delightful coverage of the hockey match. There’s Alan May, he of chiseled face and permanently furrowed brow, dispensing hard-earned hockey Knowledge as if it were nothing more than Werther’s Original Caramels to undeserving children. He has the wisdom of a veteran and the disapproving glare of a Victorian schoolmaster. But he also has…  well… what is that?

alanMayWide

Enhance quadrant 17-Theta.

Continue Reading

Tagged with:
 

EXCLUSIVE: Alan May has an iPad

photo 1 (1)

Hmm, what is that? Enhance quadrant J-7.

Continue Reading

Tagged with:
 

Outtake from Bruce Boudreau’s Hadeed Carpet Cleaning Commercial

It’s not often we get to peak behind the curtain.

The good people at Rosenberg Media were gracious enough to provide this outtake from their terrific, Penguin-bashing commercial spot for Hadeed Carpet Cleaning. Revel and absorb every last Stanislavskian detail of a master thespian in action. Ladies and gentleman, Bruce Boudreau:

No animals were harmed in the filming of this blooper, but one hockey coach was nearly stampeded.

By the way, when Russian Machine Never Breaks broke the original story, our site broke. Let’s do that again!

Thanks, Rosenberg Media, for the clip!

Several months ago, Sheldon Souray had a falling out with the Edmonton Oilers and General Manager Steve Tambellini. The conflict was so immense in fact that the Oilers spent the entire summer trying to dump the former three time All-Star and ordered him not to come to Training Camp. Unfortunately for Edmonton, there weren’t many teams who were interested in an aging 34 year old defenseman who is still owed $4.5 million over the next two years and has a cap hit of $5.4 mil.

To make matters worse, Souray also dealt with injury problems last year as he suited up for only 37 games. Um, go ahead and blame Jerome Iginla for that one.

Continue Reading

RMNB Exclusive: Bruce Boudreau’s New Commercial

What happened here?

Nothing gets me more excited for the upcoming hockey season than local commercials featuring some of the Capitals biggest stars.  The summer has already brought us a Capital One campaign with Alex Ovechkin checking a Visigoth through the glass and another of him moving new Redskins QB Donovan McNabb into the area. A few weeks ago, Comcast Sportsnet raised the stakes by releasing “The Race For The Cup,” an Inception-stylized promo hyping the start of the season. And we here at RMNB had been hearing rumors about another a clip featuring the Caps’ secret weapon, television dynamo Bruce “Gabby” Boudreau.

Well, with a huge special thanks to Hadeed Carpet Cleaning, we are proud to present Caps Nation with its first look at Bruce Boudreau’s latest masterpiece.

The clip, produced by Rosenberg Media, features Coach and his lovely wife Crystal. The couple are in a pickle after some unruly friends wreck their house.  Oh no! Who will save the day?

And yeah, there’s a pony.  Why is there a pony at the home of the former Jack Adams Winner? No idea, but I want to party with Bruce now. And if you think the pony is cool, you’ll love what’s hanging from the ceiling in the shot before this.

Continue Reading

semyon-varlamov-blog

Today, Semyon Varlamov started his own blog in the Russian language. It’s based off of LifeJournal technology and is a part of the blogging network in one of the biggest Russian sports sites – Championat.ru. Varly’s blog is entitled “The Last Stronghold of Capitalists.” Take a look here.

Below the fold is the English translation of his first post:

Continue Reading

3 U18 Czechs smoke, blame Alex Semin

According to a story that was published last Thursday on LifeSports.ru, three Czech players were dismissed from the Czech Republic National Under-18 Team during the Ivan Hlinka Memorial Tournament. The reason? Prospects Tomas Kvapil, Jaroslav Pavelka and Mateja Beran were caught smoking and drinking in their hotel room after their team’s 3-2 victory over rival Russia. The prospects, “while in the heat of a fun moment” also smashed the room they were staying at in the team hotel.

In an interview after their dismissal, one of the players blamed the influence of a certain DC area sex symbol:

“I don’t understand why we were sent home. On the web, I saw Alex Semin and other Russian stars smoking during the World Championships in Germany. And nothing came of it.”

Really?  This again?

Continue Reading