Back on Track: Caps Beat Hawks 4-1

Photo credit: Patrick McDermott

The Capitals have had a tepid start to the season, with a lackluster home opener win against a terrible Devils team and a 5-0 massacre loss to the Sharks. To wake up the Capitals, head coach Barry Trotz shuffled the lineup by putting in two guys who shouldn’t be in the lineup. And it worked!

The Capitals dominated possession in the fast first period until Viktor Tikhonov took an interference penalty. That brought out the Capitals power play. There, TJ Oshie, the honorary Harlem Globetrotter and player with a fan club with a tragically oversized dinosaur head, scored his first goal with the Caps!

Early in the second, the Caps added some more when John Carlson, after collecting a pass from Stan Galiev whilst spinning like a dreidel, fired a prayer towards the net. The puck found its way past traffic before being caressed sweetly by the net.

In the third, Matt Niskanen added some insurance with little flip of the wrist from the point that beat Scott Darling. The Blackhawks got one back from Viktor Svedberg, who beat a screened Braden Holtby for his first career NHL goal. Meh. Late in the third, Alex Ovechkin made up for his oopsie on Monday with tip-in goal off pretty tac-toe from Evgeny Kuznetsov. A win! Caps beat Hawks 4-1!

Continue Reading

Tagged with:

Ovi-less Caps Get Demolished by Sharks 5-0


Photo credit: Patrick McDermott

With both Alex Ovechkin and Nicklas Backstrom out of the lineup for the first time in years and a mighty Sharks team crashing Verizon Center, it looked like the Caps might have a tough Tuesday. They did.

Just like Saturday, the first period did not go well for the Capitals, with the Sharks peppering Braden Holtby with shot after shot. The Caps got a few odd-man rushes, but nothing else. Joe Thornton converted on San Jose’s zone time with a tip in front of Holtby, putting the Sharks up 1-0 after one. The Caps were lucky it wasn’t worse.

But soon it was. Just two minutes and 36 seconds into the second, Mike Brown (no relation to Katie) popped in a rebound after Chris Tierney skated past a collection of Caps and crashed Braden’s crease. Less than five minutes later, Tomas Hertl made it 3-0 on another rebound put-back, set up by some nice forechecking.

Later in the period, we finally got some good news. Dmitry Orlov scored his first goal since March of last year. Alas, they’ve got this new-fangled coach’s challenge thing in the NHL now and Sharks coach Peter DeBoer used it. And then referee Tim Peel misused it. No goal. Nothing in the third, save for two empty netters. Pretty dumb game. Sharks blank Caps 5-0.

Continue Reading

Tagged with:

They’re Back: Capitals Beat Devils 5-3


Photo credit: Patrick Smith

Greetings, fans! After five and a half months away, fishing, muddin’, and engagin’, the Washington Capitals returned to Verizon Center to start a new season with nervous anticipation.

The team laid out the red carpet carpet before the game, showcasing the team’s finest knit ties and undercuts. Afterwards, however, there was hockey to play. On ice. For real.

The Capitals got off to a slow start, going almost five minutes without a shot attempt early in the first period. Then Evgeny Kuznetsov hooked somebody. Uh oh. Naturally, Jason Chimera and Justin Williams immediately blew right past the Devils defense for a short-handed tick-tack-toe. Then, just two minutes and 28 seconds later, the unthinkable. Brooks Orpik, who missed all of the preseason with a wrist injury, scored. It was his first as a Capital and it came on a one-timer.

The Caps, though, like to disappear after they score. Maybe they go play with their ferrets. I don’t know. Something dumb probably. Anyway, because the Capitals played with their ferrets the Devils scored twice in under three minutes, first Adam Henrique and then Eric Gelinas. Then nothing happened for 25 minutes.

That was, until, Alex Ovechkin happened. The captain went end to end, blowing past John Moore before flipping a delicious, crisp and refreshing wrist shot top shelf on New Jersey netminder Keith Kinkaid. Marcus Johansson added another. Oh, and then Matt Niskanen got himself an empty netter. But wait, the Devils came back with one of their own. Shower of goals! Caps beat Devils 5-3!

Continue Reading

Capitals Eliminated by Rangers in Overtime


The Washington Capitals have been eliminated by the New York Rangers.

There was a moment around lunchtime when I had actually convinced myself game seven between the Capitals and Rangers might not be a low-scoring, one-goal game decided in overtime. Maybe you thought the same. If so, you’re a dummy too. This was always going to be tight. It was always going to be a goalie duel. This was always going to be excruciating. The only thing we didn’t know was that this was the end.

Alex Ovechkin scored in the first period, fighting to win a faceoff then driving to the net as Marcus Johansson dealt him the puck. A glut of penalties sucked up the second period, capped off by Kevin Hayes’ goal to knot the game heading into the third period. The Rangers pushed late, but some great work by the Caps forward depth and Braden Holtby held on for overtime, which is when Josh Groban said

and he was right. The Capitals were frenzied in OT, but a spat of icings gave the Rangers a chance to strike and strike they did. Derek Stepan ended it.

Rangers beat Caps 2-1 in overtime. That’s the end of the season.

Continue Reading

Tagged with:

Rangers beat Caps 4-3, Force Game Seven

Hello, darkness, my old friend. I’ve come to play game seven again.

The Washington Capitals were designed by the Enemy to make your life unbearable. They get dominated by the Rangers, the fall in a three-goal hole, they mount a comeback, they almost do it but fall late.

Chris Krieder scored the first and second goals of the game in the first and last minute of the first period. Jason Chimera cleaned up a rebound to get the Caps in it in the second, but Rick Nash and Dan Boyle scored early in the third to put us in blowout territory, but hold on.

Joel Ward forced a turnover and Evgeny Kuznetsov sunk it to restore some vitality to Verizon Center, then Ward did it solo– crashing the net to make it a one-goal game. A huge push late yielded nothing except stress.

Caps lose. To game seven, good ol’ gay sev, we go once more.

Continue Reading

Tagged with:

Not yet. Caps in six.

The New York Rangers have forced game six with some late-game drama. Caps in six.

No one scored in the first. No one scored in the second. No one scored until nine minutes left in the third, when Matt Niskanen set Curtis freaking Glencross loose in the offensive zone to score all alone. With 101 seconds left in #rego, goalie-hurter Chris Kreider converted on the rush to force overtime. Your playoff hero wore blue. It was Ryan McDonagh.

Rangers beat Caps 2-1 in overtime. The Caps lead the series 3-2. Caps in six.

Continue Reading

Tagged with:


Hoo boy, the Washington Capitals are not making this easy. The New York Rangers pretty much owned the zone, but the Caps had a secret weapon, codename: Burracuda.

The Rangers were on attack for the game’s first half pretty much always, but Braden Holtby had them solved– at least until Derick Brassard beat Alex Ovechkin on the rush to score New York’s first goal since the late 80s. It looked grim for the home team, but then Andre Burakovsky did unbelievable things. He scored late in the second and early in the third, breaking out on the national scene in a way the league hasn’t seen since Evgeny Kuznetsov did the exact same thing last round.

Didn’t even have to use Ovi.

Caps beat Rangers 2-1. The Caps lead the series 3-1. Is this real life?

Continue Reading

Tagged with:

Here’s the deal: we’re gonna talk about this game, but we’re not going to talk about the part that matters until the very end. Got it? Good.

The Capitals beat the Rangers. It was a tight one. Very tight. You know how it is.

The first period came and went without a goal, but we got a nifty Jay Beagle goal in the second to make up for it. The Rangers attacked Klendathu in the third period, but the Capitals goalie had the answer for everything, and so….

Caps beat Rangers 1-0!

Caps lead the series 2-1!


Continue Reading

Tagged with:

Sunk by a Slow Start: Rangers beat Caps 3-2


Photo: Chris Gordon

The thing about hockey games, or at least one of the things about hockey games, is that they are at least sixty minutes long. If your team only plays well for– let’s say– the back forty of that hour, you’re gonna have a bad time. The Washington Capitals had a bad time on Saturday.

Chris Kreider scored in the game’s first minute, exploiting some uninvolved Capitals defense. Dan Boyle’s power-play marker made it 2-0 before the first intermission, and things looked grim.

Evgeny Kuznetsov extended his stupid-good postseason with a nifty rebound goal in the second period.

The Caps failed to convert their first power play in the third, and then Derick Brassard made it 3-1. Alex Ovechkin narrowed the gap by taking on two Rangers and scoring from his knees. The Caps made a lot of noise in the final 90 ticks, but couldn’t score.

Rangers beat Caps 3-2. The series is tied 1-1.

Continue Reading

Tagged with:

Late-Game Heroics: Caps beat Rangers 2-1!


I have so many jokes about this picture, but Ian won’t let me make any.

The rested Rangers came out flying in the first period of the first game of the second round, but it was weary Washington who scored first. A pitched battle followed– with plenty of end-to-end action and shoulda-been-coulda-been goals. A late goal by the Rangers made it a contest, and just as we prepared for overtime, something happened.

On a power play late in the first, Alex Ovechkin gained the zone and carved a Christmas ham with a sneaky shot. With five minutes left, the Rangers tied it up after a looooong offensive-zone session. No big deal– Alex Ovechkin and Joel Ward combined for the clutchest of clutch moves you’ve ever seen.

Caps beat Rangers 2-1. Caps lead the series 1-0. Hahahahahaha

Continue Reading

Tagged with: