The MVP in MSG: Caps beat Rangers 5-2


The view from MSG’s bridge, from Caps Road Crew

Brutal weekend. Or at least it would have been without the best player in the NHL, Alex Ovechkin. The New York Rangers looked speedy and cohesive, whereas the Capitals looked discombobulated and panicky– but Alex Ovechkin grabbed this game by the horns and tamed it like a folk hero. Jason Chimera had a huge third period, and all of a sudden a nightmare weekend wasn’t so bad after all.

Alex Ovechkin started us off just four minutes in, carrying the puck into the Rangers zone and using the D as a screen to beat Cam Talbot. The next two goals belonged to New York: the first Kevin Hayes’ solo effort after John Carlson’s woeful turnover, the second Derek Brassard’s rush goal after Niskanen’s bad pinch.

Ovechkin struck again in the second period, using Joel Ward as a screen to knot the game heading into the final period.

Jason Chimera scored twice (I know, right?!) in the third period– both times by crashing the net and both times with the help of Brooks Laich and Eric Fehr. Marcus Johansson got the empty netter as soon as Cam Talbot left the crease.

Caps beat Rangers 5-2.

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Predators beat Caps 4-3: It’s McPhee’s McPhault


Mike Green scored with one of your sticks. 

If you turned off Saturday’s Capitals-Predators game after twenty minutes, I’m worried for you. Yes, it was ugly at that point, but the Caps team of the game’s latter two-thirds wasn’t so bad. If you tuned out, you’d have missed Troy Brouwer’s hero pose and Mike Green’s Ovi spot routine. It was still a brutal loss, but it wasn’t such a bad game after all.

The Caps actually looked pretty good for ten minutes, but after failing to convert a 4v3, the Predators took over. First it was Mattias Ekholm, whose pretty backhand goal came right after the Caps power play expired. Then Mike Fisher took the wheel after Karl Alzner lost his stick and a battle in the crease to Filip Forsberg. Speaking of that dude, Forsberg broke our hearts and ended Holtby’s afternoon with a solo scoar.

That all happened in the first damn period.

The second found Troy Brouwer scoring twice, his 19th and 20th of the season, to put the Caps within striking distance. Things were looking up, but then Mike Ribeiro, who is probably a garbage human being, gave the Preds their fourth goal.

Mike Green put the Caps back within one just 20 seconds into the third, scoring on a Greenie shot from the Ovi spot with his Stealth. The Capitals ratcheted up the pressure late, but Pekka Rinne held onto the lead.

Preds beat Caps 4-3.

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Adam Oates Sucks: Caps beat Devils 3-2 (OT)


The Capitals hadn’t played a game since the late 80s (okay, Saturday), so they looked rested and dialed-in for most of Thursday’s home game against Adam Oates and the New Jersey Devils. Then the third period happened, wherein the Capitals played a prevent defense, which is about as effective as the rhythm method is at birth control.

Inconceivably, Karl Alzner scored first, wandering deep in the offensive zone, where Oates did think him naughty for being there. Eric Fehr doubled down in the second period because he’s terrific, but then Travis “Pat” Zajac cashed in on one of the Caps’ many power-play turnovers. The Caps surrendered the possession game in the third period and relied way too much on Braden Holtby. Steve Bernier tied it up in the final thirty seconds to force overtime, but who cares– Matt Niskanen fired the niscannon to get the OTGWG. (Or maybe Kuznetsov tipped it? Doesn’t matter. CAPS WIN!)

Caps beat Oates 3-2 in overtime.

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Pavelec’d: Jets beat Caps 3-0

The Washington Capitals didn’t play very well against the Winnipeg Jets on Saturday, but spirits at #RMNBPartyGr8 were high enough that we didn’t mind.

Mark Stuart converted in the first after a convenient puck dribbled across the slot.  Mark Scheifele scored in the second after a failed breakout pass allowed him a clear shot– again from the slot. Someone got an empty-better during a late-game Caps power play. Oh well. The Caps spent a few special moments in front of Pavelec’s net, but not a once did they hit its back.

Jets beats Caps 2-0. Shutout city. Share your feelings and analyses in the comments. Thanks to everyone who came out to the party. Sorry the boys couldn’t SCOAR moar for you.


The Russians’ Revenge: Caps beat Wild 3-2


Tommy Drama.

It took a while to get going, but the Capitals played a good road game against a good opponent to earn two huge points on Thursday night. It was game that, like so many others, serves to remind us how valuable Alex Ovechin is to this team. You might even say he’s the Most Valuable.

We waited with baited breath until past the halfway mark, when Zach Parise roughed up Tom Wilson and Wilson got a B.S. embellishment call. Alex Ovechkin responded with his 46th of the season, followed by Evgeny Kuznetsov’s snatch-and-score just 40 seconds later. Christian Folin extracted revenge right before the second intermission with a rush goal.

Ovechkin scored number 47 in the third period, which was amazing, and Jared Spurgeon hit a stand-up double on a late-game power play. Braden Holtby fended off a wild (get it?) attack in the final minute to win the game.

Caps beat Wild 3-2! The first time ever in Xcel!

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Uh… Caps beat Sabres Barely 4-3 (SO)


Be honest: you saw this coming. After last night’s thrilling win over the Bruins, the Caps weren’t quite so motivated playing on the road against the league’s escape goats, the Buffalo Sabres.

Why was this even a contest? Because the Capitals are gaslighting you right now basically. They want to see you crack. Don’t let them see you crack, fan.

Jason Chimera looked particularly goat-tastic on Buffalo’s first goal, a give-and-go sequence capped off by Tyler Ennis. Curtis Glencross scored– yet again in the first period– cleaning up Matt Niskanen’s rebound during the power play. Cody Hodgson got a fluke goal off Braden Holtby’s back to give the Sabres the lead.

“…to give the Sabres the lead”

Mike Green showed tremendous patience in finding the empty 80 percent of Anders Lindback’s net in the second period, so we went into the third tied.

Evgeny Kuznetsov put the Capitals in the lead in the third period, which shouldn’t have been a big deal considering the opponent, but here we are, genuinely excited about the Caps leading the Buffalo Sabres, and even that didn’t last. Johan Larsson deflected a shot by Chad Ruhwedel, who really is an actual hockey player and not just a name you get by slamming on your keyboard like Wefwejop.

Anyway, overtime didn’t decide anything, so…

Shootout bullets!

  • Ennis did not put the biscuit in the basket
  • Kuznetsov put the biscuit in the basket with a jaunty waltz
  • Moulson did not put the biscuit in the basket
  • Backstrom did not put the biscuit in the basket
  • Whoever went last did not put the biscuit in the basket

Caps beat Sabres 4-3 in the shootout. yey they beat the sabres.

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Alright, listen. There was a game and the Caps won, but all I really care about is that Nate Schmidt scored. I’m not gonna play it cool and dedicate just a single, solemn bullet to Nate’s goal because you will all know I’m being disingenuous.

So here, up front, is John Walton calling Nate Schmidt’s goal.


And up top is a photo of him being happy because that’s what he does. That’s what relentlessly positive Nate Schmidt does.

And here’s what I looked like after the goal.

Anyway, the Caps beat the Bruins. John Carlson also scored. Holtby got a shutout. Let’s talk about it.

Caps beat Bruins 2-0.

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Stars beat Caps 4-2: Butthockey Returns!

For a variety of reasons, I’m envious of all the nice folks who had social plans on this Friday night. Mostly it’s because after I publish this I’m just gonna put on my pajamas and watch Deep Space Nine with my dog, but also because those folks probably didn’t have to watch the Capitals get their butts handed to them (i.e. themselves, the Capitals, no ambiguous antcedent here) by the Dallas Stars.

This was a bad game, and I’m not even gonna recap it, not really, but I will put in some cute dog GIFs.

Shawn Horcuff struck first, getting a weird bounce to get a puck past Braden Holtby. No big deal, ’cause Curtis Glencross got yet another first-period goal a few minutes later. But Colton Sceviour shot through three wickets to put the Stars in the lead, where they remained for the duration.

In the second period, Tyler Seguin got a power-play goal from wiiiiide open and Vernon Fiddler made it a blowout. Kuznetsov got a late goal from wayyyyy out, but it was already over.

Stars beat Caps 4-2.

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Keep Sleeping: Rangers beat Caps 3-1


Freaking Ovi. Freaking Beagle.

The Capitals hadn’t played since Saturday; the Rangers played last night. And yet it was the Capitals– beset by injury– who looked slow and overwhelmed on Wednesday night. Down a goal, the Capitals made a big comeback effort in the third, but it got defused by the tiny guy in blue, so Washington lost to the new division leader.

In the first period, Nate Schmidt choked up the puck in neutral, opening up a shooting gallery that ended with Carl Hagelin’s goal. Ovi tied it up with an Ovi shot from the Ovi slot, but J.T. Miller put the Rags back up after a weird bounce on a clearing attempt. The Caps picked up the pace in the third but couldn’t crack Cam Talbot. Martin St. Louis delivered the dagger.

Rangers beat Caps 3-1.

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Everybody Scores: Caps beat Sabres 6-1!


“Finally! We are anteaters!”

The Buffalo tank job made a stop in DC, and boy was it fun. The Sabres scored the game’s first goal, and we were scared for a moment, but then tanks gonna tank.

No, really. There was a moment when the 2014-15 Capitals were losing to the 2014-15 Sabres. Johan Larsson actually beat Braden Holtby after the top line lost a defensive-zone faceoff and then got a little careless in their own zone. The Caps took over after that. Mike Green carried the puck all the way down below the goal line and set up Curtis Glencross for his second goal in a Caps uniform.

Jay Beagle ground out a goal in the second period, and Brooks Laich got the monkey off his back before the second intermission. Joel Ward made it 5-1 with a superhuman effort in the power-play paint, and Marcus Johansson got a Swedish wraparound on an uninterested Sabres defense late.

Caps beat Sabres 6-1.

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