The Curse of GMGM: Caps beat Preds 5-3


Two Swedes, one box

George McPhee traded prospect Filip Forsberg away sometime in the late 80s in exchange for Michael Latta, who is a nifty fourth liner, and a skunked case of Labatt Blue. We drank the beer, and then Forsberg scored twice on the Caps in Nashville on Tuesday. Don’t care. The Caps are still the best.

Tom Wilson, of all people, was involved in the Caps’ first two goals. In the first he assisted Jason Chimera, and in the second he swatted a saucer pass from Marcus Johansson. Filip Forsberg, dammit, scored on a power play in the second period.

In the third, Justin Williams put the Perds in a two-goal hole with an impressive scramble in the Nashville crease. Marcus Johansson welcomed himself back with a goal of his own, but the Preds struck back with goals by Roman Josi and Filip Forsberg (oh come the frick on) in quick succession. Alex Ovechkin got the empty netter.

Caps beat Preds 5-3! Four wins in a row!

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Caps beat Flyers 3-2: Superb on Super Bowl Sunday


It’s Super Bowl Sunday! Before you eat a bunch of super unhealthy food and then lose all productivity at the office on Monday, let’s rap about the Caps win over the Philadelphia Flyers.

The Caps looked sluggish in the first, giving the Flyers an early lead when MDZ knifed a redirected slapshot. The Caps rallied in the second, scoring twice on consecutive shots, the first knifed by Alex Ovechkin and the second knifed by Dmitry Orlov.

Carrying a lead into the third period, the Caps promptly surrendered it as Nick Schultz knifed a goal after a Caps icing. No matter: Matt Niskanen wrested back the lead by driving between the Philadelphia and knifing a gorgeous goal single-handed.

Caps beat Flyers 3-2!

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Photo: Mel Evans

I got called into recap duty at about 12:50 as Peter was out buying a car with his girlfriend, who is a doctor and also his girlfriend. Both teams were equally groggy after Marty Brodeur’s ceremonial puck drop as the the Caps and Devils combined for just 12 shots in the first period.

In the second period, the Caps started tilting the ice in their favor. They got on the board in the middle of the frame when Evgeny Kuznetsov did the ol’ Evgeny Kuznetsov, with his behind the net pass deflecting off a Devils defender’s stick and then off off lil’ Andre Burakovsky’s knee.

The Devils tied it up early in the third when a questionable call on Mike Richards led to a net crashing power play tally for Joseph Blandisi. Adam Henrique gave the Devils the lead less than five minutes later as the trailing man on an odd-man break. Pay no mind though, because not Alexander Semin did what the real one never could: he scored a clutch goal. Paul Carey’s deflection from the slot was the his first career NHL marker and sent the game into a shootout.

Blandisi went wide.

TJ Oshie fired a laser beam.

Braden Holtby robbed a Swede.

Kuzy was stopped at the line.

“Reid Boucher” scored for the Devils.

And Alexander Mikhailovich “Alex” Ovechkin won the game for the Washington. Again. Caps beat Devils 3-2 (SO).

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Welcome Back, Ovi: Caps beat Isles 3-2


Photo: Amanda Bowen

Winless for what seems like weeks, the Washington Capitals looked a bit flat at home against the New York Islanders. The Isles had a free pass into the Caps zone, whereas the Caps looked aimless, dumping and chasing to get deep. But possession aside, the Caps were the better finishers and escaped a close game with a #rego win thanks to their returned Captain and his late goal.

The Isles’ opening goal stung– it was (ex-Cap) Mikhail Grabovski off John Tavares through a billion screens. TJ Oshie got his 16th of the season off a pass from Nick Backstrom. The Isles had the puck for a million years but didn’t actually score, so Andre Burakovsky tapped in a puck set up by Jason Chimera to give the Caps the lead. With a chip shot from the paint, Josh Bailey made the game new in the third period.

Caps beat Isles 3-2! So this is what winning feels like!

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Panthers beat Caps 5-2

Hoo boy. I’m not gonna sugarcoat it, guys. The Caps got wubbalubbadubdubbed by the Florida Panthers. With approximately 35 thousand players missing due to various injuries and arbitrary suspensions, the remaining Caps couldn’t put the puck in the net for forty minutes, whereas the Panthers couldn’t stop scoring.

First was Jonathan Huberdeau assisted by Jaromir Jagr. Alex Barkov came second with a top shelf score on Philipp Grubauer. The second period saw goals from Trocheck and Huberdeau again, and if you noticed that none of those people are Capitals, good for you.

The Caps came back to life in the third, lifted by goals by Nick Backstom and Andre Burakovsky, but this was never a winnable game. Some dude got an empty netter, and that’s that.

Panthers beat Caps 5-2. The Caps have not won a game since January 19.

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Swedes on Swedes on Swedes: Flyers beat Caps 4-3 (OT)


Tom Wilson returns to his natural habitat.

Hockey back! Wee! Bye snow. Hi hockey! Stick and puck and Ovi and yay! Flyers bad, boo Flyers. But yay hockey! Caps goalie and old Caps goalie say grrr. Bad hockey but also good hockey. IKEA people score hockey goals two times plus one. Boo Flyers, but yay hockey back!

It seems I have forgotten how to write hockey. Maybe my fingers would remember their old strength better …if they recapped the goals.

Well, the Flyers owned the first period, scoring twice on the sticks of Brayden Schenn and Ryan White, but the Capitals woke up in the second period, erasing Philadelphia’s lead in a blink thanks to goals by Swedes Andre Burakovsky and Nick Backstrom. Jakub Voracek restored the Flyers leads before the third, but Kuznetsov fed Burakovsky to knot it again. Without a winner in rego, we went to overtime, where Voracek felled Holtby with a tricky release.

Flyers beat Caps. Washington’s home streak snapped at like 1329581635 consecutive wins. Oh well, got a point anyway.

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Caps beat Ducks 6-2: Virtual Beatdown


The game between the Washington Capitals and Anaheim Ducks was originally scheduled to be played at the usual 7PM time slot. After concerns began to arise regarding a potential snowstorm that was set to hit the Metro DC area, it was pushed up to a 5PM start time in the hopes that they’d be able to squeeze 60 minutes of hockey in before everything shut down. Even that was overly ambitious, with the league ultimately putting the kibosh on the game entirely for the time being. Or so we were led to believe.

Turns it out it was all something of an elaborate hoax, and we were all just pawns in it. Well, except for me. Considering the game was actually set to be played in my bedroom the NHL begrudgingly accepted that I’d need to be in on it for the plan to be seen through fully.

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Deal from Strength: Caps beat Blue Jackets 6-3


If the Caps didn’t deal from strength, they would get crushed every time, that’s what I always say. Facing the Columbus Blue Jackets in enemy territory, Washington clinged to their guns, you betcha, refusing to lead from behind and definitely not pussy-footing around. Although they allowed the first goal, the Caps fought back their sovereignty. Evgeny Kuznetsov mastered the art of the deal, and Nick Backstrom made hockey great again.

To be sporting, Washington let Columbus score first, giving Kerby Rychel his first career NHL goal. Then it was the Caps’ turn. Nick Backstrom finished an impressive passing sequence by the first line, then Jason Chimera got served a tasty meal by Marcus Johansson.

Up a goal in the second period, the Caps kept pressing. On a four-minute power play, they struck twice– first by Alex Ovechkin from the Ovi spot and then from Nick Backstrom tipping in Kuznetsov’s pass. Boone Jenner scored, but we didn’t care because Andre Burakovsky struck back right after.

Ryan Murray scored in the third and I don’t care I don’t care I don’t care. Marcus Johansson got an empty-netter with 30 seconds left.

Caps beat Blue Jackets 6-3!

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Happiness Depends on Ourselves: Caps Beat Rangers 5-2


Photo: Rob Carr

Speaking about Saturday night’s 4-1 loss to the Sabres, Capitals head coach Barry Trotz said the team “didn’t invest enough in the game.” That seems like a stupider way of talking about “compete level.” Nevertheless, the Capitals diversified their assets tonight! Or whatever. I’m a liberal arts major.

The Rangers got the jump early, outshooting the Caps 5-1 in the opening 10 minutes. Just past the halfway mark of the first period, Chris Kreider converted on that zone time, tipping a Ryan McDonagh shot from the point past a helpless Braden Holtby. Late in the period, however, the Caps vaunted power play got them back-in when Alex Ovechkin stepped out of his office to fire a wrist shot past Antti Raanta, making his first start in 11 games.

In the second, it was the power play again. This time Nicklas Backstrom fired a brilliant pass from the half wall to Marcus “Soft Serve” Johansson, who tapped-in the puck for the go-ahead tally. Washington added to their lead with a Taylor (!) Scorney, but the goal was later awarded to Justin Williams, who got a stick on the shot. Kreider put the Rangers back within one off a broken play in the slot, another one Holtby had little chance of stopping.

The final frame sealed DC’s win as J-Will added another tip-in tally before hitting the empty net (well, the Rangers helped) for his second career hat trick. Caps beat Rangers 5-2!

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Buffaloed: Sabres Beat Caps 4-1


Sometimes you have one of those days. Sometimes you leave your backpack at Lindsey Graham’s office and then get the flu and have to have your mom pick it up three days later. Sometimes you get killed by the Buffalo Sabres. It happens.

Let’s go through the torture, because you know you want to.

Some lazy work in the offensive zone by the second line and the Schmidt-Orlov pair led to a wide open shot shot from the point and a rebound tally from fringe player Phil Varone. Exactly five and a half minutes later, Tim Schiller extended Buffalo’s lead after Orlov bumbled the puck like every conversation you try to have on Tinder.

In the second, Evander Kane added to Buffalo’s lead with a puck that trickled past Braden Holtby, leading to the mountain man’s premature exit. Cody Franson added a soft PPG later in the frame, but really who cares?

Marcus Johansson kept comeback hopes alive with a third period tally, but the Sabres squashed that pretty quickly. Sabres beat Caps 4-1.

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