GIF created by flawlessrussians.

Last summer, it was Fatgate. Slouchgate. Whatever. Rumors swirled that Alex Ovechkin had packed on a few pounds. Not like Byfuglien weight, but more than his once lithe frame was used to. We dismissed the scandal, and Ovechkin played perfectly fine, but maybe there was something to it after all.

Speaking with Alexey Karpenko of VTBRussia.ru last month, Ovechkin came clean about his fitness these last few years and what has changed. (Spoiler: it’s Maria.)

Alexey Karpenko: What’s the secret behind your physical training? Not many expected you to look that good during your first few games with Dynamo.

Alex Ovechkin: I changed my attitude towards life completely, understood how I need to prepare myself, what I need to do. In the last offseason, I didn’t have all the stuff I had before.

Alexey Karpenko: Like what?

Alex Ovechkin: Earlier, after the season I came to Moscow, met my friends, we hang out, had a good time, drank sometimes. There was no such stuff this time. I had a clear plan. Since Maria [Kirilenko] played at the London Olympics and prepared for them accordingly, I supported her the whole way. It helped me to stay in shape. It’s safe to say that I had a workout regimen all summer long.

Can’t wait to see how Maria’s influence helps Alex…  once he gets back stateside. In the meantime, we’ll have more good stuff from this interview soon.

Translation by Fedor Fedin.

This t-shirt can be bought here. (Illustration by Rachel Cohen)

Wednesday night was supposed to be the Pittsburgh Penguins’ first visit to Verizon Center this season. Because of the NHL lockout, we won’t get to see Matt Cooke trolling or Sidney Crosby caterwauling plaintively at the refs. We’ll just have to settle for candy instead.

Hating Pittsburgh sports is coded into my DNA. I’m physically sick over this. Gary Bettman is depriving me of my regular Sidney Crosby hate, and now I am indescribably sad.

To cheer myself up, I have compiled these GIFs from the Alex Ovechkin “Sorry, Penguin” commercial. And now I share them with you. You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll wave $15 goodbye.

GIFs created by bohvechkin.

Now please leave us some naughty but PG-rated comments about the Penguins below. With your words of hatred, we can all get through this together.

GIF by forsse90.

We almost broke the internets when we published video of Caps first-round pick Filip Forsberg dancing to PSY’s “Gangnam Style” after a 6-0 blowout by Leksands IF. It appeared to be a once-in-a-blue-moon type of celebration – something I assumed the shy Forsberg would never do again.

But since then, Leksands IF has scored six goals in three straight games, including a 6-1 mollywhopping of Anton Gustafsson’s Asplövenon on Friday. The win returned Leksands IF to the top of the Swedish Allsvenskan League.

And it brought Forsberg and teammate Martin Janolhs back to the dance floor for an encore performance.

PSY’s “Gangnam Style” begins playing at 34 seconds. Forsberg begins dancing at 1:33.

This time, Forsberg kicks it up a notch, adding more showmanship and some razor-sharp footwork to the bit — because if there was one thing that last time lacked, it was the chance of a severed foot. The dance goes smoothly until Forsberg catches a rut in the carpet on his final hop, causing him to nearly head-butt a metal fan on the wall. Not sure how he’d explain that injury to George McPhee.

Hockey players are creatures of habit and superstition. 18-year-old Forsberg may now believe that having an elaborate dance routine similar to the Funkasaurus equals wins. While the lockout has crushed my soul, Filip Forsberg, you and your boy band dance moves are the only things that kept this from being the Worst October Ever.

Moar GIFs!

GIFs by forsse90.

Off the shaft of Nicky’s stick and in. (GIF by cadetsandkings)

On Monday, Nicklas Backstrom scored his first KHL goal. Utilizing the shaft of his stick, Backstrom deflected a waist-high shot into the back of the net. It was a brilliant play. Surely it would be the most magical moment of the day I thought.

Well, it was until Backstrom was interviewed by the press after the game.

As Nicky takes a question from a reporter, he flips his hair. Backstrom’s grandiose hair flip is a cross between what Rider Strong used to do on Boy Meets World and Pamela Anderson during one of those slo-mo beach scenes on Baywatch.

GIF by bohvechkin.

Allow me to obsess for a moment. Nicky’s blonde locks could start– and then end– a war. You could put skates and a helmet on that hair, and it’d start breaking Gretzky’s records. You could start a society that has no cash money and base all trade on the Backstrom Hair Standard. Just look at him go.

I’d do the same if I had hair on my head like that. Or any hair at all. Which I don’t.

Life’s not fair.

“Only my buddy Nicky can wear #99!” (Photo credit: khl.ru)

While Alex Ovechkin is one of the game’s most feared scorers, he’s also not afraid to drop the gloves when the time is right. He’s fought Oleg Tverdovsky as a teenager, slugged Mike Richards during a preseason game, had Matt Bradley steal his fight with Steve Downie, and tried to fire his team up with a bout against Brandon Dubinsky.

On Monday during Dynamo Moscow’s 3-0 win over Lokomotiv Yaroslavl, the Capitals captain once again showed his fiery side, trying to get both Alexander Guskov and Maxim Trunyov to fight him in two separate incidents.

Let’s review both events in disconcerting reverse order!

Midway through the third period after Ovechkin checks Alexander Guskov into the boards, he gives him a shove in the back in an effort to say,”I’m not very pleased with you right now.” As he tries to skate away, Ovi puts his stick in Guskov’s midsection so that he can bring the other Sasha closer and the two can talk things out like mature human beings. After their conversation ends without a resolution, Ovechkin shakes his mitts, giving the universal sign for “I want to punch you many times in the face.” Guskov declines the invitation to fight. Ovechkin — still full of rage — then shoves Guskov down to the ice. He’s given a two-minute minor for roughing.

Ovi’s other angry encounter happens in the third period as well and in this incident, he’s not nearly as reserved. As Ovechkin brings the puck into Lokomotiv’s offensive zone, he takes a stick in the gut from Maxim Trunyov. The Russian machine immediately goes into “I must break you” mode. After he throws a few punches and tries to rip Trunyov’s jersey off, Ovechkin would be sent to the penalty box for roughing. Trunyov would get a two minute minor for hooking.

After the game, Ovi spoke to kp.ru and explained his confrontation with Guskov.

I got elbowed in the head. I told him, “let’s fight.” I was refused. I think the game turned ugly. At least there were no injuries.

Yes, at least there’s that.

GIF

GIF created by Welshhockeyfan.

Translation by Fedor Fedin.

On Saturday, Filip Forsberg‘s Leksands Idrottsförening delivered its biggest beatdown of the season defeating the Malmö Redhawks 6-0. Forsberg, who has been racking up points at a Gretzky-like pace, surprisingly didn’t get his name on the scoresheet, but he did deliver the most memorable moment of the day.

Celebrating their victory in the locker room, Viasat cameras caught the players blasting PSY’s “Gangnam Style.”

Forberg and teammate Martin Janolhs got up from the bench and perfectly executed the Gangnam Style dance. If you study this video as meticulously as I have, you’ll notice Forsberg has dance moves on par with JC Chasez in “It’s Gonna Be Me.”

Dare I say this is better than Bill Nye performing the dance? Surely better than the Giants busting it out on Sunday.

Filip, when you come to DC, bring the dance moves.

GIFs

Created by @broflacco

Thanks to HFBoard’s perry2perry for initially posting.

Photo credit: atlant-mo.ru

During Alex Ovechkin‘s storied NHL career, he’s broken sticks, goal cameras, and faces. He’s also broken the glass with a hit more than once. Playing Colorado in 2006, Ovechkin nailed defenseman Karlis Skrastins with a shoulder check that exploded a pane of Pepsi Center glass. Ovechkin was pleased with himself, telling The Washington Post’s Tarik El-Bashir,”First time [to break glass] for me. I was surprised, like wow, I’m strong.”

Six years later, Ovechkin showed how mighty he is again, this time breaking a pain of glass after body-checking Alexei Mikhnov. Thanks to welshhockeyfan, here is a lovely assortment of GIFs.

Still awesome.

That guy in the middle of the scrum with his back to the net is Ovechkin scoring.

Over the last few games, Capitals captain Alex Ovechkin has been on fire. He has two goals and three assists in his last three matches. He’s also beginning to score with ease.

In front of a record KHL crowd of 16,317 (and Michal Neuvirth) at O2 Arena on Tuesday, Ovechkin ramped up the degree of difficulty on his tallies and scored a sick game-winning goal in Dynamo Moscow’s 1-0 win over Zdeno Chara’s HC Lev Praha. The Russian machine also had four shots on goal in 18:40 of ice time.

Now let’s see this goal.

After Lev goaltender Tomas Popperle tries to freeze the puck and is denied a whistle by the referees, he attempts to toss the puck to a teammate. Unfortunately for Popperle, a hustling Ovechkin gets to the biscuit first. During a mad scramble in front of the crease, Ovi, with his back turned to the net, blindly shuffles the puck home on his backhand while falling face-first to the ice.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

Ovechkin is currently tied for second in points among locked out NHL players in the KHL. Ilya Kovalchuk, who just recently had a hat trick, is first with 10 points. Evgeny Malkin and Ovi are tied for second with nine. Since Ovi has joined Dynamo Moscow’s line-up, the defending champions have won seven of their last eight.

Dynamo will now return home and play Metallurg Novokuznetsk on Saturday.

GIF

Created by flawlessrussians.tumblr.com.

“I bowl strike!!” (GIF created by welshhockeyfan)

Ovechkin skates up ice.

Coming into Sunday’s away game with Slovan Bratislava, Alex Ovechkin had six points in six KHL games. Despite playing in five fewer matches than everyone else, Ovechkin was gaining ground on the league’s point leaders (82nd overall).

In Dynamo Moscow’s 3-2 victory Sunday, Ovi tied his Dynamo teammates Denis Kokarev and Dominik Granak for the team lead in points, tallying a goal, an assist, and three shots on goal in 16:22 of ice time against Slovan. The defending champions have now won 6 out of their last 7 games with the Capitals captain in their line-up.

Now let’s see that goal.

Last year, many analysts (including RMNB) criticized Ovechkin for using the same move to try to score. Against Slovan, Ovi scored in the same way he did last Monday against Neftekhimik.

Because who needs creativity when you have this one-timer?

On Ovi’s assist, the Russian machine blindly throws the puck towards the net, and teammate Denis Kokarev sweeps it home.

Ovechkin is now tied in points with Hart Trophy winner Evgeny Malkin (1G, 7A) and Ilya Kovalchuk (1G, 7A).

Dynamo Moscow play on Tuesday against Lev.

Note the extras from GoldenEye at top right. (Photo credit: dynamo.ru)

Monday was supposed to mark Alex Ovechkin‘s first meeting with 2012 first overall pick Nail Yakupov. When Dynamo Moscow hosted Neftekhimik Nizhnekamsk, Yakupov instead had to endure an international fiasco last week and was held out of the line-up by Coach Vladimir Golubovich despite being reinstated over the weekend.

Meanwhile, the Russian machine had his best game yet in a blue and white jersey, notching his second goal of the KHL season and tallying an assist in Dynamo’s 5-1 mollywhopping of Neftekhimik. Ovi had 5 shots in a season-low 14:44 ice time.

Video ahoy!

Here’s Ovechkin’s power play goal. Notice how effortlessly he targets his one-timer on the wattle bottle. With this much time and space in the NHL, I’m pretty sure he’d score ~183 goals.

On his assist, Ovechkin and Konstantin Gorovikov show off some slick passing before finding line-mate Dominik Granak in the slot for a goal.

Through five KHL games, Ovechkin is a point-per-game player, tallying two goals and three assists.

Yakupov and Ovechkin did eventually meet, but during intermission and away from the ice. Yakupov was giving an interview to Sovetsky Sport as Ovechkin slapped him on the back and asked, “How are you?”

“Everything’s fine,” Yakupov responded.

The 18-year-old Oilers prospect then turned to his interviewer and said: “Oh! He knows [why I'm not playing].”

Yakupov continued:

I hope to get a spot in the lineup for the next game. Because I really want to play! This is the second game I am missing. It’s a pity I didn’t get to play against Dynamo. It would be great to play with Ovechkin! But no big deal, it’s hockey. I am not upset with the coaches. I will catch up.

Ovechkin and Dynamo will next play Ak Bars on Wednesday.

GIF by welshhockeyfan.tumblr.com

Translation by Igor Kleyner.