Dylan Wheatley is probably the angriest RMNB commenter, but that’s okay because he’s funny. I understood maybe 35 percent of this analysis/rant on the Caps’ pending free agents, but I thought you should read it anyway.
The playoffs have ended, as they must, the dog Erdogan has consolidated his power, and The Big Mac is hootin’ to give TJ NoShow a giant stupid deal. A lot of you out there in Wood Buffalo and The Soo think this is a good thing; it isn’t. No hockey player over the age of thirty should ever be given anything but a single cheese sandwich and a pat on the back. Giving Oshie this monster deal is going to squeeze the Caps’ cap flexibility, and they need flexibility because they have a bunch of young Euro jerkholes who listen to techno to give big moneybucks to. Young Euros win cups, pals.