Our friends at Maple Leafs Hot Stove reached out to us last night to ask about a worrisome rumor. Darren Dreger reported yesterday that Adam Oates is being considered for a position as assistant coach in Toronto. We’re still unsure there’s any substance to the rumor, but I shared my thoughts on what that might mean for the Maple Leafs. Call it my last chance to go to the well. Now here’s an absurdly large link:

Five Questions on Maple Leafs Assistant Coach candidate Adam Oates

Thanks to the guys at MLHS for having me again.

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Must Read: Katie Carrera on the State of the Caps

Photo: Chris Gordon

Read: Washington Capitals’ problems began long before their playoff streak ended

This is the most mustiest must-read on the Washington Capitals this year. Superlative work by Carrera, it hits every topic: management, coaching, Ovechkin, and goaltending. I particularly like this Ovechkin quote:

“My job to score goals; that’s why I get paid,” Ovechkin said this week. “I didn’t get paid to put puck deep and create some other opportunities. As soon as I’m going to do that, you guys going to ask why I don’t score. It’s always going to be questions; there’s going to be remarks where I have to play better.”

Read the whole thing and let us know what you think.

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Photo credit: Pavel Lysenkov

For more than half of my life, October has signaled the beginning of two things: the NHL regular season and the deranged glee of driving my car through piles of neighbors’ leaves arranged in neat pyramids in the street. Since the NHL owners and players cannot seem to master the art of sharing the rest of us learned in kindergarten, my bloodlust for foliage is the only thing getting me through these days.

So we’re in a weird spot. As hockey fans, that extra cash we set aside for Caps games, beers, and foam fingers is still in our pockets. This cannot stand; we must spend it on something. The RMNB inbox has swelled with a hundred different iterations of the same question: Where can I buy a Dynamo Moscow KHL jersey of Nick Backstrom or Alex Ovechkin? How about Traktor Chelyabinsk’s Evgeny Kuznetsov?

Since you guys are so supportive of us and already like us on our Facebook fan page and follow us on Twitter, I went to the trouble of researching and finding the best place to buy. My findings are below.

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Peter Talks Caps Hockey on Baltimore Sports Hockey Podcast

Peter was on the Baltimore Sports Hockey podcast last night to chat about the Capitals and the playoffs. Peter tried his best to mask his pessimism, and much merriment was had on topics such as:

  • Brooks Laich’s “guarantee” and the Caps’ playoff chances
  • What’s wrong with Alex Ovechkin?
  • What kind of offseason changes do we want to see?
  • Are there any Washington Capitals fans in Baltimore?
  • Peter’s favorite Joe Beninati suit
  • Predictions for the playoffs and the Pittsburgh Penguins

Peter’s segment starts around 15 minutes in, but the BSR guys are funny throughout the show.  The only problem is Georgia the bulldog snoring audibly in the background. Check it out and Go Orioles!

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Merch Alert: Alyssa Milano’s Washington Capitals Jeans

Maybe this is just news to us, but whoa!

Alyssa Milano, star of Embrace of the Vampire and Poison Ivy 2: Lily,  has a clothing line called Touch. Touch has designed blue jeans with a Caps weagle on the butt. Now I’m not saying this is a must-buy, but you literally MUST BUY THESE.

From the product description on Modell’s:

Want everyone to know what your favorite team is while out on the town? In these Washington Capitals denim jeans from Touch by Alyssa Milano everyone will know. The traditional washed jeans have vintage leather team logo appliques on both back pockets and team logo embroidery on front pocket.

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Saturday’s Washington Post comes with a five-page feature on Alex Ovechkin and his great decline. Former Caps beat writer Tarik El-Bashir and Rick Maese list a gamut of explanations– tactics, work ethic, bad attitude, weight, family, partying, schisms with teammates, and more. It’s what the kids call a “must read.”

Read: Alex Ovechkin: What’s wrong with the Washington Capitals superstar?

There’s a lot of anonymous sourcing in there, but the conclusions line up well with what we’ve been observing here for a long time. What do you think?

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Link: Read Puck Buddys’ “The Thin Blue Line”

Hopefully you’ve noticed that RMNB engaged the Puck Buddys website in a partnership this season. Their pregamers and features have been clever and kind-spirited, and we’re honored to count them among our friends.

Over at their site, the Puck Buddys have been running The Thin Blue Line, a long-read profile of a gay player in high school. The series culminates with this weekend’s installment, which is transcendentally good and we strongly recommend you read it. They’ve got a lot of big stuff cooking too, but we’ll get to that soon enough.

Read “The Thin Blue Line”

Our website is for Everyone, and we believe hockey should be that way too. It makes us happy beyond words to align ourselves with people who not only believe the same, but actually work to make it happen. Bravo, guys.

 

Joe Beninati: The Year in Suits

Whether we like it or not, we carry profound memories of last season. We’ll be taking a few opportunities to revisit the Capitals’ 2010-2011 campaign soon, but we thought we’d start with the most important matter of all: Joe Beninati’s suits.

We at Russian Machine Never Breaks are the Ken Burnses of Joe B. fashion. We’ve been documenting every green blazer, every ostentatious houndstooth and argyle combo, and every– let’s be honest– pimp suit. The esteemed Beninati was your guide through a spastic season, and now we return the favor. Here are (awful cell phone) photos of Joe’s suits from every telecast this season– with links to our gamers.

So let’s take a stroll down memory lane with the sharply dressed, silver-tongued man himself.

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The Machinist: February 19, 2011

Important RMNB news of week? Well, that has to be the fact that 64 people reached the site searching for “Alexander Semin Unibrow”. We’re perplexed yet oddly not surprised by this development.

Down on the Hershey front, Kathryn spoke with goaltender Jared DeMichiel who picked up his first career AHL win last Friday. Head over to SHOE and give it a read!

Now, let’s do the Machinist!

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The Machinist: January 29, 2011

The Machinist has been moved to Saturdays to accommodate Neil’s springboard to his new advice-column career, Feed the Machine.

What happened this week? Yeah, we picked up photog supreme, Chris “Caps Snaps” Gordon, but the real big news is our Facebook “LIKE” button! Russian Machine is slowly wrapping its greasy tentacles around every corner of your social media world.

It’s All-star weekend, baby, I’m about to have me some fun. Let’s do the Machinist.

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