Russian Machine Never Breaks


(All pics by Kyle Mace at Sweetest Hockey on Earth)

Welcome to the Washington Capitals, Fists of Fury edition. A few key pieces are essentially dead right now, and some others are playing like they are, so these holes will be filled by kids from Hershey, which is what they are there for.

I know you are all smart and cool people who keep up to date on our minor leaguers, but if you are at all behind in this I do not blame you, as there are like a million of them. In case you are wondering who in the world this is on your ice, here is a quick rundown!

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Screengrab via @CarrottBazooka

Since Alex Ovechkin has opted out of the All-Star Weekend (and has better things to do anyway), Dennis Wideman is now Washington’s lone representative in Ottawa. While Wideman is perhaps slightly less likely to don a hat and sunglasses and do trick shots, he’s a Capital, so we love him all the same. We’ll be covering Wideman’s foray into the glamorous life of an All-Star, so check back for updates, because let’s face it, you’re already bored without hockey.

Dennis Wideman was picked in the 15th round with the second-to-last pick that could be used on a defenseman, before only Canucks defenseman Alexander Edler. This means that we can get hipster now if we want and call him underrated. We knew Dennis Wideman when he wasn’t cool. Logan Couture was picked last overall and won a brand new caaaaarrrrr! Somehow it just wasn’t the same without Ovechkin there laughing and taking pictures.

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Shanabanned: Alex Ovechkin Suspended For Three Games


Ovechkin smash! (Photo credit: Bruce Bennett)

Alex Ovechkin has been suspended three games for his hit on Penguins defensemen Zbynek Michalek–here’s our post on it if you haven’t seen the hit, which happened in the second period of Sunday’s game. He will miss upcoming games against the Bruins, Lightning, and Panthers, and won’t be back in action until the February 4th game against the Canadiens twelve days from now. He will forfeit $154,677.75 in salary for the three games.

Ovechkin is the first Capitals player to receive supplemental discipline this season, making the Caps the 22nd team to have a player suspended, with only 8 teams still untouched. To some extent Ovechkin is a “repeat offender”, at least according to the spirit of the law, though the rulebook clarifies this as a player with offenses on his record within the last 18 months, and Ovechkin’s last suspension was 22 months ago. Given Ovechkin’s reputation for leaving his feet on hits, though, Brendan Shanahan–celebrating his 43rd birthday today, which you’d think would put him in a better mood–clearly decided to make a point.

Here’s Brendan Shanahan’s video explaining the suspension. Console yourself with the swooshy sound effects.
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TSN’s Bob McKenzie on Possible Alex Ovechkin Suspension

Photo credit: Ryan Remiorz

11:46 PM Update: NHL.com reports that both Ovechkin and Michalek will meet with the Department of Player Safety on Monday.

Bob McKenzie of The Sports Network is hockey’s version of a public intellectual; his thoughts matter concretely to the game. On Sunday night he took to Twitter to address Alex Ovechkin’s hit on Zbynek Michalek and possible discipline that may follow from it. We won’t call it “supplemental” discipline, because there was no primary discipline– although there certainly should have been.

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Editor’s note: Neil Greenberg is not currently affiliated with RMNB and was not consulted for this article.

During Saturday’s game between the New York Islanders and the Carolina Hurricanes, play-by-play announcer Howie Rose criticized Neil Greenberg’s list of the top 25 players under 25 for ESPN.com (paywall, but it’s worth it). That list does not include NYI’s John Tavares, who has a team-best 46 points in his third year in the NHL.

During the discussion, Rose calls Neil a “housebound agraphobe.” We can assume he means agoraphobe, since agraphobe is a made-up word that would mean “fear of farmland” or something. Rose runs standard operating procedure for character assassination of a blogger. Four-time Stanley Cup winner Butch Goring joins the routine and accuses Neil of being a provocateur. It’s a comprehensive ad hominem screed, except that they do not mention Neil by name at any point during the two-minute, telecast-padding exercise:

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Dmitry Orlov’s First NHL Goal is a Game-Winner

Marcus Johansson and friends congratulate Orlov on his marker. (Photo credit: Mitchell Layton)

In his young, 25 game NHL career, Dmitry Orlov has already established himself as a solid defenseman. Just 20-years-old and less than a year after first playing in North America, Orlov has supplanted Jeff Schultz and John Erskine in the Caps lineup and earned high praise from his coaches and teammates. One thing, however, has been missing: a coveted National Hockey League goal. One minute and 12 seconds into the third period, the Novokuznetsk native got just that, breaking a 1-1 tie with what turned out to be the game-winning tally. Judging by his reaction, we think it’s pretty safe to say Dima was pleased. Check out the video below the jump!

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Peter and Neil on Up the Pucks, a Punk Rock / Hockey Podcast

Peter teamed up with RMNB graduate (and current ESPN.com/WaPo writer) Neil Greenberg on the Up the Pucks podcast this week. [NSFW: Naughty language]

Up the Pucks is a podcast equally enraptured with hockey and punk rock. Each week, Peter (not me) and Brandon call up a co-host from another NHL city. This time it was us.

Humangous big link to Peter and Neil on UTP

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Video: Mike Green Reinjures His Groin or Something

Photo credit: Greg Fiume

In the Capitals’ 3-1 victory over the Flames Tuesday, Mike Green made his grand return to the line-up after sitting out nearly two months with a groin injury. We made him signs. It was a thing.

The best part of the win was that Green made it completely through the game without re-injuring himself. In his last two comeback attempts from injury, Green has found himself back on the shelf his first game back (concussion on February 25, groin injury on November 11).

Well, two games into his latest return, Green took a rough run from San Jose Sharks’ center Andrew Desjardins behind the Capitals’ goal. Take a look for yourself:

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Kuznetsov poses with the second-place silver platter. (Photo credit: Francois Laplante)

After defeating Canada 6-5 Tuesday, Team Russia returned to Calgary’s Saddledome on Thursday night to take on Sweden in the WJC’s gold medal game. Russia struggled from the get-go and only found their game in spurts during the third period.

The shot statistics tell the tale. Russia went without a shot on goal for the first 12:34 of the game, and at the end of the first period Sweden had outshot them 17 to 3.

The second period was even worse, as Russia managed to throw only one puck on net. By the end of the third period, Sweden held a 50 to 16 shot advantage. The game, however, remained scoreless.

In overtime, after outshooting Russia 8-1, Mika Zibanejad scored the golden goal on a breakaway, giving Sweden its first U-20 championship in 31 years. Caps prospect and captain of the Russian WJC team, Evgeny Kuznetsov, returned to the bench, crouched over, and weeped.

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Ovi happy, Alzner sad. Pic’s blurry, but yet so very, very perfect. (Photo credit: Tarik El-Bashir)

Karl Alzner has been hating on everything Russian over the past week. First, he gave us low marks on RMNB’s “Caps Fans and Bad Habits” post. More recently, he bet against Team Russia in the WJC and the only Caps prospect in the tournament, Evgeny Kuznetsov. Why? So he could show allegiance to his Canadian homeland. Deplorable.

And that’s why the humility train made a quick stop at Kettler Capitals IcePlex. Alzner had to wear an ugly Russia jersey from the pits of Alex Ovechkin’s closet. Alzner wore the unsightly thing all practice long and described it as “the worst morning of my life.”

Neener, neener.

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