Image by Cook the Chef

Welp, this is less than fun now, but we’re freaking obligated. The thing about making public predictions is that when you (and by you, I mean me) get ‘em wrong, it’s really embarrassing. I picked just 3 winners out of 8, so basically I’m worse than a coin-toss. I’m having self-worth issues right now. Meanwhile, Ian, used some blind freaking luck to get 5 out of 8. And we’re both emotionally unstable right now.

Let’s do it!

First a look back at our predictions from the last round.

Peter: 37.5% (Peter picked the following losers: VAN, NYI, MTL, WSH, TOR)
Ian: 62.5% (Ian picked the following losers: ANA, VAN, WSH)

(But if you count number of games, I was totally closer than Ian, so there take that, nyah nyah.)

Chicago Blackhawks (#1) vs Detroit Red Wings (#7)

Peter: Ooh baby, I’m looking forward to this one. It seems to me that no matters who is on the Red Wings roster, they’re still somehow imbued by the spirit of Detroit hockey. Lidstrom is nowhere in sight, and they’re still a responsible team that does whatever they need to do to be strong on the puck. But the Blackhawks are the same team that ran away with regular season while the Caps still had a hard time lacing their skates. Chicago is the probably the most fun to watch, and I’m going to enjoy watching the Hawks win it in 6.

Ian: Let me first preface this with I hate hockey. Like utterly, completely, entirely. I just frigging hate hockey right now. Gary can go kick rocks for paying the officials off to let the Rangers win. Whew. Okay that’s out of my system, let’s roll some more NHL playoff dice! First of all, I think the Chicago Blackhawks are easily the better team in this series. That’s why I’m picking the Red Wings to win it. They’re old. They’re crafty. And like that old fisherman guy with the one-dollar bill hooked on his fishing rod, you can’t take the puck from them.

Wings in 6.

LA Kings (#5) vs San Jose Sharks (#6)

Peter: San Jose is a team unfairly maligned for being past their peak. I didn’t think they’d make the second round, but I don’t think they’re a slouch either. But still, the Kings are my pick to take the Cup, and they’re gonna bombard the Sharks into oblivion. In the Battle of California, I predict a slaughter: Kings in 4. It’s a Peter Hassett Sweep Special! Take it to #thebank!

Ian: I’m still really confused on how the Kings finished their season as only the #5 seed. They are a better team than that. A dominant one in fact. While the Sharks easily handled the Canucks in the first round, they will struggle big time in this series. And why? Because like the Capitals, they are physically and mentally unable to get over the proverbial hump, or I guess unbeaching themselves or something. Kings win in 6.

Pittsburgh Penguins (#1) vs Ottawa Senators (#7)

Peter: The league’s most exciting offense versus the regular season’s best goaltender. I really thought the Islanders could have skated the Pens into oblivion, but I failed to predict the rescue run of the Vokeswagon. Tomas Vokoun descended on Long Island like a grumpy old bald guy who sometimes plays goalie, and wouldn’t-ya-just-know-it, he did just that! I think the Penguins will wisely stick with Vokes, rendering MAF an eternal escape goat, and they’ll pull ahead of a frugal Ottawa team. Penguins in 6.

Ian: As much as I hate everything about the city, the people, and the players on this team, the Penguins — even despite Fleury’s current struggle with Jim Carey syndrome — managed to win in the first round. Like I said in my first set up picks, I love the Senators as a team. While they play some great hockey, these throwback warriors will have nothing against these ugly flightless birds. Pens in 6.

Boston Bruins (#4) vs New York Rangers (#6)

Peter: I’m not watching this series. I’ve watched 21 gull-darn playoff hockey games between these teams and the Capitals in the last year, and I’ve enjoyed very little of them. I hope they grind themselves into actual hell. I hope it’s pest vs. pest. I hope Lundqvist stands next to Rask at some point so we can marvel at the entire attractiveness spectrum of human males. I don’t care who wins so long as everyone does a good bit of suffering. Neither of these teams is a winner according to the definition of winner I made up just now. Bruins in 7. But in a parallel universe, the Caps are about to beat the Maple Leafs in 5 games of wide-open, dynamic hockey that has every fan in both countries’ smiling. Ugh.

Ian: I wish nothing but the worst for both of these teams. Like I hope both teams get the stomach flu and spend all game projectile vomiting at each other. That’s how I feel. My one key match-up is between Pierre McGuire’s favorite player in the NHL, All-American American Ryan Callahan, and free-style diver Brad Marchand. Who will out-pest the other? Who will flop more than Shane Battier? I’m not really sure who will — it’s impossible to predict — but I do know one thing for a fact. If these guys skate towards each at full speed and crash into each other at center ice, all bad things that have happened in life will become good, kinda like this Coldplay video.

Bruins in 4. Because it makes no sense at all.

Please share your predictions or just mock us for ours below.

Photo credit: Patrick McDermott

The 2012-2013 Washington Capitals are no more. Felled in seven games by Henrik Lundqvist and the New York Rangers, the Caps have done the thinkable: an early-round exit from the playoffs for the fifth straight year. Some will call that a pattern, some will call it a curse. Some will call it karmic justice or the inevitable victory of a superior team over a bunch of preening Eurotrash, but those guys are dicks. Screw them. This is our goodbye, and we’re doing it our way.

Goodnight, sweet Caps. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.

Maybe this game could have gone differently. If Arron Asham didn’t get that end-to-end slapshot past Holtby’s short side, we might’ve been in for a fun one.  But he did, and we weren’t.

Some other goals followed, but my rage blackouts came in waves and I might have actually passed out for a short portion of the second period. I do have vague remembrances of John Erskine doing some amoebic version of defense at some point– perhaps deciding to solve a 2-on-1 rush by turning himself into a pylon or engaging the rare “here, you take the puck” technique against Zuccarello early in the third period. After overperforming for most the season, Erskine eventually did what I feared he’d do: crash back to earth. And then he opened up a freaking sinkhole in front of Braden Holtby, who after a number of lovely games this series looked significantly less studly in game seven.

Sad dad.

Alex Ovechkin had a couple bad games in Madison Square Garden, but I reject the notion that he was the big problem in this series. Ovi generated a bunch of shots– even on the road in game six, and was clearly (at least, clearly to this writer) playing through an lower-body injury since game three. He’s the team’s all-time best playoff performer. Ovi rules, and I’m eager to see if he can keep it up next season. I don’t know if he can, but that’s hockey I want to see.

But sticking it to the Caps players isn’t what is called for here. The Rangers did some brilliant strategic stuff– choking the Caps in neutral (whose system under Oates should’ve been capable between the blues) and keeping shots far away of Lundqvist’s cage. Oates got out-coached. He’s new; he’ll improve.

Though it’s time to make an observation. For all of the manifest improvements to the Caps this year, particularly the phoenix-ish rise of Alex Ovechkin, they’re not much better than the Dale Hunter team. Is that roster, coaching, luck, or something else?

One excuse I don’t enjoy very much is personality-based. Starting with the fact that so few of the Caps players have been that first playoff disappointment in 2009, I have a hard time swallowing that there’s some kinda attitudinal cancer that waits until May to metastasize.

The New York Rangers win the privilege of playing the Boston Bruins in the second round. I don’t envy them that. The idea of the Capitals going another 4 (but probably 7) games with the Bruins is wearying. The last 21 Capitals playoff games have been buttoned-up affairs that have done much in the way of hypertension, but they’ve haven’t been fun in my opinion. The hockey the Caps were playing at the end of the season was fun, but it seems to me that the Caps let the Rangers dictate the pace of this series.

The last Joe B suit of the night

Whatever, I’m really proud of these Caps. Consider where we were in October: nowhere. Consider where we were in January: dead last. Then: .500 hockey. Then a division championship and a scoring title and bracing streak to finish the regular season.

And now here they are: going a full seven against a team that could make a Cup run. I didn’t even think they’d make the playoffs, but they kicked a fair bit of ass along the way.

The rollercoaster Caps are done. I don’t know what’s next, but it won’t be like this one again. Not sure if I’m grateful about that or not.

On a personal note, thanks for reading RMNB this year. It’s been our biggest year by a wide margin, and that’s due to you guys– a terrific and kind community of genuinely good people. We should probably party together sometime, right?

It’s been a privilege writing hockey for you. We’ll have a lot more coming soon, and the improvements and expansions we’ll be introducing next year will be. Uh. Huge.

Crash the net.

Peter Hassett
Frederick, MD

Photo credit: Scott Levy

We should have known better. We should have been more cynical. We should just have assumed this series was going to seven and enjoy Mother’s Day.

But nooooooo. We watched the Caps play an undisciplined-yet-solid game on enemy ice, giving up five power plays. No one’s saying the Caps are angels, but this is silly. The Rangers did nothing with their big chunk of man-advantage time, but one lucky bounce off Steve Oleksy’s arm made this a perfect afternoon for New York: a shutout without any penalties committed*.

Rangers beat Caps 1-0.  Game seven tomorrow night.

• Well, we kinda knew it would happen like this. Mathieu Perreault took a clean– but way late– hit by Michael Del Zotto. No whistle. Ryan Callahan lured Jack Hillen into roughing, and the Caps killed the penalty. Then, Eric Fehr put an elbow into Derek Brassard‘s shoulder, whose master thespian skills got the attention of the refs. The Caps killed all their first period penalties (including a long 5-on-3), but it was taxing. The whole bad-referee conspiracy theory thing is tiresome, but I don’t see how some of these calls are defensible. I really do think the Caps are doing more naughty things in this series, but not this many. And as the team who has had the puck most of the series, they’ve committed a curious number of offenses. That’s all I have to say about it.
• So I made a big deal last week about how articles slamming Alex Ovechkin’s defense are out of proportion. Alex probably didn’t read those articles, but he did feel like throwing me a bone, blocking two big shots in a first period shift. I appreciate the gesture, but I’d really rather not have my team’s $10-million superstar throwing his body in front of ballistic vulcanized rubber. If you disagree, I have two words that end the debate: Sidney Crosby.
• The Rangers came out of the first intermission motivated, tilting the ice for 10 minutes before Derek Brassard got a shot past Braden Holtby by way of Steve Oleksy‘s deflection. Rick Nash didn’t get a piece of it– no matter what the NHL scoresheet says.
• Alex Ovechkin‘s line got caught out in a long shift at the tail end of the second period. Most of that time was spent scrambling in their own zone, though Ovi did break out for a pretty chance on Henrik. That 96-second shift was just one portion of a fast-going second period, which the Rangers dominated.
• After a few days of chatter over possible injuries and defensive match-ups, Alex Ovechkin was electric on Sunday afternoon. 5 shots, 12 attempts– but nothing hitting the back of the net. He’s due.
• Remember that time in the third period when the Caps got away with a too-many-men penalty? That was nice for a second, until Joel Ward was whistled for a light crosscheck that sent Dorsett into the Rangers’ net. Ugh, I said I wouldn’t kvetch about penalties anymore, but here we are. At least New York is garbage on the power play– 2 for 20-something (and climbing) this series.
• 28 saves for Braden Holtby, plus the one behind his back. Beast.

Joe B suit of the night

*UPDATE: Stepan and Girardi were given roughing penalties for the scrum at the final buzzer. Carlson and Brouwer also got tagged for it. This is completely inconsequential, but putting an asterisk on NYR’s “perfect” game is the closest thing I have to joy right now.

Everyone’s been saying that the Caps have to stay out of the penalty box. It’s no less true now that it was then, but we haven’t really seen any effort to make that happen yet. We have seen an exemplary penalty kill unit, so there’s that at least.

Okay, game seven. We’re used to this by now, right?

Listen: no team has lost on home ice in this series. The Caps have outplayed the Rangers in probably five of these six games, and they can do it again. Dial down the passion, pull a couple power plays, and stay the course. No sweat.

Crash the net.

P.S. – Call your mom if you’re lucky enough to have one. Mine is great, and I’ll be bummed out that she won’t answer the phone tonight with a cheerful “happy hockey!”

See you guys tomorrow.

Photo credit: Patrick McDermott

Ack. I’m all jammed up like a Phish live record over here. This series is not good for people, plants, or other living things. The corrupted bastardization of hockey the Rangers have foisted upon the Capitals is some perverse thing not spoken of in polite circles. Where’s all the end-to-end action? The shot totals in excess of 40? The goalies giving up goals like Galileo dropped the orange? The Rangers forced the Caps into a constipated brand of hockey that is actually making my back seize up as if I were eating pancakes. Everything is all tensed up, and it goes on way too long. We’re supposed to enjoy it, but it’s really just survival.

The Rangers grabbed a lead in the game’s first minute, putting the entire DMV area’s bowels on red alert, but playoff hero Joel Ward tied it up in the second. The Caps leaned in during the third period, but we headed to overtime anyway– where Mike Ribeiro became a Capitals legend.

Caps beat Rangers 2-1 (Overtime). Caps lead the series 3-2. Sunday is an elimination game for New York.

• One minute in, Brian Boyle scored. I really don’t wanna talk about it, but if you MUST know, John Erskine and the top line were not doing their jobs — either in clearing the zone or taking defensive assignments. It was a pretty goal– a hard-around to behind-the-net to the open man in the slot. And it set a very bad precedent for the game.
• It wasn’t just that goal: John Erskine was a mess all around. He gave up a (soft?) elbowing penalty, had one nearly disastrous giveaway in the defensive zone, and was diagnosed with chronic anaphylaxis when exposed to opportunities to clear the zone. After a long season of overperforming, Erskine might be coming back down to Earth. He was a particularly stinky part of the malodorous palate that was the first period, in which the Caps– despite winning possession– failed to make a clean breakout or zone entry once.
• Mike Ribeiro (and we will come back to him) has been known for his hot head all season, but it worked tonight. He goaded Brian Boyle into a slashing penalty, which Joel Ward used to equalize just 11 seconds later. The power play was led by Marcus Johansson doing the Gretzky thing below the goal line. Really pretty stuff (Craig Laughlin called it “tic-tac-joel”), and not at all what New York was expecting. Joel Ward is a playoff rock and a credit to his team. Keep that stick low, Wardo!
• P.S. Ribeiro was a monster on the faceoff dot.
• The Caps were roughed up in the first period, but still got a narrow edge in possession. In the second period, the Caps turned that into a monster advantage during even strength that would lead to a blowout against  a team not so dedicated to shot-blocking (shot-blocking (n.) a way to lose, just less pathetically) and backstopped by the ‘Qvist.
• John Carlson post noooooooooooooooo. That’s all the “”analysis” I can muster right now. Dude beat the other dude, but the metal thing and then nooooooo. I should be upping my game for the playoffs, but this is really hard, you guys.
• The Capitals dominated the third period with mucho shot attempts, but we had to go to overtime anyway. Alright, let’s keep it short and sweet.
• The Caps kept piling on the icing penalties– indicating a weak breakout and neutral-zone play, but the defensive-zone faceoffs were solid.
• Mathieu Perreault had THE chance of overtime, seemingly beating Lundqvist until the Swede put a meaty leg out to kick the save.
• AND THEN: Mike Ribeiro, your player of the game by a country mile, won the game in overtime, scoring a point-blank slapshot. Ribeiro was the Caps’ best player tonight even before the OTGWG. He won 19 of 27 faceoffs and led forwards in possession (plus-16), but the goal clinched it. What a stud!

Joe B suit of the night

We always knew Sunday would be an elimination game, but yay it’s not for our team.

Let’s all just forget that first period. That sucked. Let’s linger on the convincing game the home team played in minutes 20 through whatever time it was when Ribeiro slapped in that one past Lundqvist. The Caps rule at five-on-five, and if they can– FINALLY– get their asses out of the box, they will mollywhomp-curbstomp the Rangers on Sunday afternoon (4:30).

I love this team. Have a great Friday night.

Let’s end this on Sunday.

Photo credit: Scott Levy

I don’t know how you guys are coping, but I am doing poorly. A playoff series between the Washington Capitals and New York Rangers seems constitutionally incapable of being stress-free. Game three’s penalty problems continued in game four, and the Caps struggled with special teams and other complex ideas such as shooting and passing. The Rangers seemed to be able to summon a lead on a whim, leaving the Caps to mount a comeback pretty much throughout.

Despite the Caps getting better (and more desperate) as the clock wound down, the Rangers won another game on home ice.

Rangers beat Caps 4-3. Series is tied 2-2.

• Braden Holtby dun goofed. Handling a loose puck, Holtby eyed a saucer pass to neutral, but instead found Pyatt Pree‘s stick hanging in the air. Brad Richards got on the puck and scored on a mostly vacant net to make it 1-0. Holtby’s been both lauded and criticized for his eagerness to play the puck, and he’s been burned more than once for it. This was the worst of al. This was worse than what Jonathan Quick did last week. Because it happened to real people.
• The Capitals’ first period power plays were rancid. The Caps allowed three shorthanded chances, the third one leading to total troublefunk in front of Braden Holtby. Martin Erat and Alex Ovechkin closed in on Derek Stepan– Erat reaching from behind while Ovi was picking up steam. The three collided in a tangle, with Erat landing wrist-first in the net and Ovechkin skating back to the bench before getting beckoned to the box. A hooking penalty for Erat was reasonable, but — inconceivably– Ovechkin was given the old wild-card penalty: charging. Pierre McGuire, who has yet to master the name Oleksy, proclaimed it an obvious headshot. It was not, but the Caps still had to kill a 5 on 3– which they did excellently, but the penalty was more fuel to the Gee willikers! These refs are atrocious! fire. Erat did not return to the game, replaced on the second line by the similarly awesome Eric Fehr.
• From the circle, Carl Hagelin got a knuckley puck past Holtby’s glove side halfway through the game– at which the Caps had just 5 shots on goal during even strength. D’oh.
• But thank goodness for Joel Ward and Mathieu Perreault, who teamed up to put the Caps on the board. Ward had some pretty moves to put the puck on net, and then Perreault crashed it like a tiny French Canadian Knuble.
• The Caps tied it before the end of the second period with a nifty Troy Brouwer backhand while the Rangers got a bit indolent on the breakout. Brouwer was due, and it was greatly appreciated.
• After the Caps improved their possession (as measured by even-strength shot attempts) through the last three games, the Rangers stole it back decisively on Wednesday. Even with a man-up, the Caps were unable to generate offense as the Rangers refused to take the bait of Washington’s fancy passes. The Caps were thus kept on the outskirts and generated no real power play chances.
• A Charmin soft interference penalty on Jason Chimera at the buzzer of the second period led to a Girardi PPG in the first minute of the third, putting Caps back in their one-goal hole, but only temporarily as Marcus Johansson’s inability to clear the zone gave NYR’s Stepan space and time to make it 4-2.
• Ovi was pretty much nullified. Most of his (scarce) shot attempts were blocked, and he — and this is weird– seemed to get hit more than he hit others. I’m not really used to that, but hats off to the Rags for sticking it to him. I’m not sure they’ll be able to do that back in Verizon Center, where the Caps will get last line change.
• Karl Alzner kept it close with an outside slapper (that have got a piece of Perry) with just a bit over 12 minutes left. Because apparently this series was too relaxing for some people.

Joe B suit of the night

Aaaalright, the Caps may have gotten a bit off their game there.

You can chalk some up to the refs, but we can’t pretend like this game was stolen from the Caps. Mysterious decisions on defense and some bad moves on the breakout sort of doomed the effort. The Rangers won the physical game and seemed to have figured out the Oates’ power play. That might make the rest of this series difficult. Or at least interesting. It’s as if the gauntlet has been thrown.

That doesn’t mean it’s undoable. The Rangers have no advantage whatsoever. All they have done is restored the series to neutral. The Caps own on home ice, and they’ll have to flaunt it to win this series.

Friday. Be ready.

Okay not the psyche-up song I wanted. I’ll try again later.

Photo credit: Bruce Bennett

Game three of the quarterfinal series between the Washington Capitals and New York Rangers was an opportunity for a statement. The Capitals could have played just as they had last week and put NYR in a headlock. That didn’t happen. Instead, the Capitals got drawn into a quagmire on rocky ice– a penalty-punctuated, back-and-forth battle that they could not win despite dominating the even-strength game.

Rangers beat Capitals 4-3. Capitals still lead the series 2-1.

• The Caps got off to a rollicking start, killing off Alex Ovechkin’s penalty for gregarious hockey-hugging and then scoring the game’s first goal when Nicky Backstrom deflected John Carlson‘s shot past Henrik Lundqvist. MSG went silent, but it did not last.
• Joel Ward high-sticked Derick Brassard– wait, seriously? Again? Ugh this was like the worst part of last year except for the entirety of Dale Hunter’s coaching decisions. Brian Boyle scored a gorgeous goal as the man-advantage expired– beating both Mike Green and Braden Holtby near-side.
• And then came the too many men whistle, which was completely appropriate, but applied to the wrong team. (Pic by hockeyshopped)
  
  So that’s a travesty right there. Some folks said that possession is necessary for an excessive manliness whistle, but these folks are incorrect. Any of those Rangers players more than five feet from the bench (n=7) could and should have been assessed for the call.
• The penalties kept coming in the second period, as it took the Rangers just 7 seconds to convert Braden Holtby‘s trip of Nash into a lead.
• The Madison Square Garden ice is not known for its pristinity (checked: actual word) in early May. While there was some fancy finesse play in each period’s opening minutes, the back half devolved into chippy junk. That was bad for the Capitals’ game, particularly since the Rags’ wrangled up a lot of power plays in the first half of the middle frame.
• Mike Green filled in the one-goal hole late in the second with a really pretty wrister to the top shelf, where mama hides the double stuff Oreos. I’m just gonna keep on harping on the “healthy Mike Green is scary Mike Green” thing until the lamestream media (fake snark) picks up on it.
• The Caps defense rolled out the red carpet to Aaron Asham, who caught a pass from below the goal line to re-establish the Rangers lead early in the third. Yucky D too much tonight.
• Jack Hillen, whom we all love so hard, sent a flubbery wrister off the faceoff that ballooned past Lundqvist (after a Jay Beagle tip– I called it!) like so many Gummy Bears cartoons. Do you remember when cartoons were about a food product that was literally all sugar? Ahh, childhood.
• John Carlson and the top line were not able to clear the zone during a sustained Rangers possession, giving Derek Stepan the opportunity to put the Rangers up a goal with six and a half minutes left. That lead stuck.
• Alex Ovechkin drew a high stick with two minutes left in regulation. The resulting power play was a little too hesitant considering the state of the ice. Crash the net, y’all.

Joe B suit of the night

That’s okay. A Caps-Rangers series isn’t supposed to be a walk in the park. They’re supposed to be torrid, evenly matched, heart-rending affairs, and this was one of those.

If any lesson can be taken from this, it’s that Madison Square Garden ice sucks, and the Caps must simplify to succeed there. That means less passing and more shooting– hoping against hope to get the puck elevated and towards Lundqvist, who frankly enjoys an unfair advantage on home ice.

I’m not filled with negativity or disappointment after this one. It’s hard to be bitter when Eric Fehr played like such a stud. I don’t think bad whistles were the sole culprit, and I do think the Caps deserved most of those calls. If they play the same game over again with a bit more discipline, they’ll get the win.

The Caps will be coming back to Verizon Center this weekend. The only question is whether they’ll be bringing a win home with them. I think so.

Let the boys play. Hahaha RT @mfiller90: @russianmachine twitter.com/MFiller90/stat…

— RMNB (@russianmachine) May 7, 2013

Gorgeous pic by Greg Fiume

Hockey hypertension. The Washington Capitals and New York Rangers played a high-tension matinee game that had everyone watching in conniption fits. Superb performances by goalies Henrik Lundqvist and Braden Holtby kept the game scoreless through regulation despite some dazzling chances at both ends. I’m trying to think of a non-cliched way to say we were on the edge of our seats, but I’m way too wrapped up in this to be clever right now.

Braden Holtby refused all offers, and the Capitals dominated overtime until Mike Green ended it on the power play.

Caps beat Rangers 1-0 (Overtime). Caps lead the series 2-0.

• John Erskine did not play his best game. While he contributed a few muffins and cannons from the blue line, he looked overwhelmed in his own zone, particularly when playing below the goal line. Braden Holtby bailed him out at every turn, but Ersk could use a bit more confidence and deliberation with and without the puck.
• The Caps have a localized epidemic of Swedish Passing Disease. Nick Backstrom and especially Marcus Johansson had some prime chances to score squandered due to reticence to shoot. I think the feeling is that Henrik Lundqvist cannot be bested without some brilliant passing sequence, but he’s just mortal and will stop somewhere around 92% of shots over time. Gimme volume over quality, though crashing the net never hurts.
• John Carlson was everywhere, driving play more than any other player and leading the team in shot on net.
• Rick Nash had a semi-breakaway in the third period that went off the goalpost. We really owe that goalpost a thank you card. Someone get on that.
• Eric Fehr is good everyday, but today he was extra special good. His penalty killing in overtime nearly led to a SHOTGWG, and he immediately followed it up with a diving block. Unreal play by the Caps’ unsung hero.
• Mike Green, my baby. We’ve never seen Green play healthy in the playoffs until now. It’s a marvelous sight.
• Braden Holtby made 24 saves in his shutout, and he needed every one.

Exclusive Joe B suit of the afternoon

Holy shit, guys. We made it through this one. That was as tense as anything I’ve ever seen. I had to take off my shirt during OT because I didn’t know how to cope. I still don’t. These may not be sentences I’m writing right now– and my hands are shaking so bad my TYPOS REL/60 is probably off the charts.

The Caps really came through in this one. They owned the puck, played physically, and got their power play converting when it matters most. It wasn’t the team effort we saw on Thursday– this was a hero thing. The oft-maligned Mike Green had a very big day, and Braden Holtby did what we’ve come to expect from him– nigh perfection.

As far as I’m concerned, I’m houseruling Braden Holtby perfect through two games. That game-one goal against was a fluke. He’s been ideal– something of a postseason habit for Holtby.

The Caps now head to Manhattan to curbstomp the Rangers. I think they can do it. Every chump who picked Rangers in 4 or 5 is looking a bit silly right now. If the Caps stick to their game, they’re going deep.

Good game guys!

The camera zooming in on Pierre is how most nightmares start

— RMNB (@russianmachine) May 4, 2013

Photo credit: Greg Fiume

Oh god. Oh god. Oh. God.

I’m a bit wrapped up in the Washington Capitals this year. I thought I’d be cool, analyzing the game with the sober distance of an expert, but I’m not that at all. I’m a basket case, and I bet I’m not alone. It’s the gosh-darn playoffs, and the Caps are off to a hot start.

Washington bombarded NYR goalie Henrik Lundqvist in the first period, but the Rangers somehow got the early lead anyway. The Caps didn’t change their style though and responded with three goals in the second period. Holtby withstood an enfilade in the third and earned a wonderful game-one win.

Caps beat Rangers 3-1. Caps lead series 1-0. Boom!

• The Caps owned early. They peppered Henrik with shots and kept the Rangers without one of their own until darn near the 10-minute mark.
• After 14 or so minutes of Caps domination, the Rangers untilted the ice with a fruitless power play. Then Carl Hagelin locked up possession after a Caps icing and then used John Erskine‘s skate to put NYR on the scoreboard.
• Alex Ovechkin took the Capitals franchise lead in playoff goals with his second period power play scoar. Ovi sunk it after a deliberately wide shot made its way into his wheelhouse. Never let it be said Ovi doesn’t show up in the postseason. The man is a rock.
• Joe Beninati made a point of touting Martin Erat‘s playoff experience in Nashville, which is an odd thing to say this year as the only action Nashville is seeing right now is between Rayna and Deacon. Hell yeah, I watch that show.
• Marcus Johansson got the lead, beating Lundqvist after a sweet stretch pass from Steven Oleksy. Who was that blog all down on Marcus Johansson? Surely wasn’t us. Jokes aside: Unlike in January, Johansson is healthy and pulling his weight like a good little Swede.
• 46 clicks later, birthday boy Jason Chimera connected for goal number three. I predict a Jason Chimera goal pretty much every game, and recently I’ve been right more often. Of all Caps players, I think Chimera has the most Druce potential. Tell me I’m wrong
• Steve Oleksy did the rarely seen and even-more-rarely recommended cheek shot-block at the tail end of the second period. He went down to the ice like a pile of hot laundry, but came back out soon after because hockey. Because. Hockey.
• The Capitals’ power play yielded one very important goal, but for the most part it was uglier than Oleksy’s beat-up face. The Caps gave up mucho shorthanded chances, and if not for the wall-like qualities of Braden Holtby, this would’ve been baaaaaad. On the other hand, the usually disciplined Rangers surprisingly committed a big ol’ bucketload of penalties– giving the Caps plenty of chances to workshop those shorthanded chase-kills.
• Braden Holtby was nigh perfect. That goal against in the first period was a freak accident– a thing made purely out of happenstance. Every goalie is gonna give up a goal like that– a flukey cross-crease pass that bounces off a friendly skate. Holtby was unfazed by it and proceeded to stop 35 shots, many of them coming in furiously dense bunches– including a weird one with four minutes left that the boys in Toronto had to peep. He’s a pro. He’s a cucumber. Basically what I’m saying is this: 2013 Braden Holtby looks a lot like 2012 Braden Holtby, and there is no better news than that for Caps fans right now.

Joe B suit of the night

Uhh… HELL YEAH.

I had some anxiety about how the Caps would perform against a stout team like New York and after a billion day layover, but Alex Ovechkin set those anxieties at ease with that pretty PPG. But this wasn’t a star thing (except for the hairy guy in net); this was a team effort. Jason Chimera, Mathieu Perreault, Eric Fehr, and The Wagon all contributed to this win in significant ways.

As much fun as it would be to see a hat trick from Ovechkin or Nick Backstrom raking up points, a solid team win like this is even more encouraging for the rest of the series. If the Caps play as well as they did tonight, I think they can win all seven games!

Saturday morning (on *groan* NBC) will be big time stuff. Let’s all be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for moar net crashing.

p.s. I’m still not over Fred Weasley.

Tuesday night begins the best part of the entire year. Eight best-of-seven series start today– with all the rivalries and drama and bad blood that come along with ‘em. Expect big games every night and fresh fallout every morning. Playoffs, baby.

As RMNB’s creators, Ian and I thought we’d ramble on about our predictions for the first round and put our necks on the line. I do not recommend you take any of our guesses to #thebank.

Minnesota Wild (#8) vs Chicago Blackhawks (#1)

Peter: I’m still astonished the Wild even made the postseason (#lumbus). I guess Parise might steal one game, but this is all Chicago. Blackhawks in 5, because they’re awesome on both ends of the ice. If any series goes to a sweep, it’ll be this one.

Ian: I first want to preface this with, I haven’t watched any West team play an entire game all year. So not only will my analysis be worthless, but I’ll probably get all of my picks 100% correct. So the Blackhawks are proven performers. They are made up by a gritty forward who is also a fearless leader (Toews); a dude who is a great scorer, probably drinks too much, and played under Dale Hunter (Kane); and a guy who’s won the Norris (Keith). Sure the Wild have Parise (which kinda rhymes with parcheesi) but this is going to be a war for them — and they’re on the wrong side of Pickett’s Charge. Blackhawks in 6.

Detroit Red Wings (#7) vs Anaheim Ducks (#2)

Peter: Sorry, Bruce. You’re getting first-rounded. Red Wings in 6. If the kid’s in net, make it 5.

Ian: The advanced stats say no, but my heart says yes. Boudreau and his Ducks continue their improbable run, riding some awesome play by their hall of famer. #TeemuForever in 5.

San Jose Sharks (#6) vs Vancouver Canucks (#3)

Peter: Congrats to this series for being the one I care about least. I want the Canucks to lose to see Alain Vigneault fend off the rabid Canadian hockey press with a broken chair leg, but I have a feeling they’ll squeak by. Canucks in 7.

Ian: The Canucks are that team everyone wants to pick but they always come up just a little bit short, like a preteen in line for a roller coaster. This season will be no different, but I think they’ll take care of business in the first round quickly. Canucks in 5.

Los Angeles Kings (#5) vs St Louis Blues (#4)

Peter: The Kings are my pick to win the Cup. Kings in 6. Quick might be able to put some Holtby-esque numbers up in this one, though STL is no slouch.

Ian: Look at the Kings’ possession stats. Just look at them. History has smiled upon a team that just owns the puck like the Kings do. While the Blues are a brilliant young team with a talented Russian that I pull for (Tarasenko), the defending champions will be too much for them to handle. Kings in 7.

New York Islanders (#8) vs Pittsburgh Penguins (#1)

Peter: This one should be fun to watch. John Tavares will shoot fireworks at MAF, who shouldn’t be Pittsburgh’s escape goat again this year, but he’ll give up enough to make up for whatever hockey majesty Crosby and Malkin unleash at the other end of the ice. If I were Fox Sports, this would be my Upset Special. Islanders in 7. Crosby for Lindsay though.

Ian: I don’t think I even need to offer an explanation. Penguins in 4.

Ottawa Senators (#7) vs Montreal Canadiens (#2)

Peter: Craig Anderson is scaaaaary, but I’ll give the edge to the Habs because I learned my lesson about doubting them back in 2010. I’m expecting PK Subban to bust out more dick moves than a [joke redacted]. Canadiens in 6.

Ian: I love how Ottawa’s built, and I especially love their forwards: Erik Condra, Mika Zibanejad, and Cory Conacher. These are tough forwards, guys who can score any way you can imagine. I think this will be a long series, but Montreal will eventually lose. Senators in 7.

New York Rangers (#6) vs Washington Capitals (#3)

Peter: My feeling is the Caps will get stonewalled on too-few power plays, but they’ll get the win in 6 regardless based on the strength of the hairy dude in net, who will put up a 93% save percentage. Plus, Jason Chimera will score big– Druce Mode. Capitals in 6.

Ian: I always tell my friends, the playoffs never make any sense, especially for the Capitals. You would expect the Caps to win this easily just because of how they’ve played lately, but I’m leery of such an assumption. I think the Rangers find a way to control Ovechkin, but the Caps’ tertiary scoring will come to the rescue. Also, four goals from #52 who will earn a new moniker: Series Over. Capitals in 6.

Toronto Maple Leafs (#5) vs Boston Bruins (#4)

Peter: I think most people think this is a lopsided match-up, but I’m a little cool on the Bruins (overrated dot com). I mindlessly predict this will be a high-scoring series (sorry Rask, sorry Reimer), and the Leafs win it in 7.  Because the playoffs are weird, and the hockey media machine wants this. I’m totally anticipating a bevy of War Room conspiracy theories erupting from this one.

Ian: I know Leafs fans are excited to be back in the playoffs for the first time since the lightbulb was invented, but, after seeing them get demolished live by the Capitals a few weeks ago, I’m not even sure they can win one game in this series. Not only are the advanced stats against them, they were built by a guy who would make trades just to make trades. Tyler Seguin will show that he has the stuff to be a superstar during this round of games. #BostonStrong. Bruins in 5.

Please share your predictions below.

[Editor's note: Renee, a long-time Caps season ticket-holder, won the ultimate prize in the Caps annual "Jerseys Off Our Backs" event on Fan Appreciation night. Here's her story.]

The “Jersey Off Our Backs” winners hang out at ice level and watch the Boston Bruins walk into the locker room.

I started off my Friday like anyone else — scrambling to get work done before the week ended. But one phone call ended my productivity: I had been randomly selected for the “Jersey Off Our Backs” event on Fan Appreciation Day. As a longtime season-ticket holder, this is one event I’ve watched with awe – even back when the Caps would toss their signed jerseys haphazardly over the glass to waiting fans. Long story short, I didn’t get much done on Friday.

Fast-forward to game day. I watched periods one and two like anyone else — anxious to have the Caps produce on what looked to be good play despite the 0-2 score at the end of the 2nd. As the 3rd period started, I gathered with a crowd of lucky fans in the concourse. Count was taken and we were ultimately asked to pick a random manila envelope from our host — the envelope that held each of our future jersey’s numbers. We were escorted underground to wait for the end of the game. None of us saw Mike Green’s goals to tie it up, but we heard the crowd’s amazing cheers and we celebrated too. We followed tweets and text messages from friends and family in the arena, trying to harness the excitement of broken glass and overtime. The horn sounded a win and the crowd erupted in a frenzy. From the end of the hall, we watched the Bruins, heads down, trek to their locker room. And then it was our time.

We stepped onto the ice, looking back at the crowd from a vantage point you rarely get. It’s a grand place, there on the ice, looking up. The Caps skated out and stood at the blue line, looking at us, us looking at them. Anyone standing on that carpet who says they weren’t giddy is lying. We snapped photos. We giggled. At that point, I could’ve been offered ANY player’s number and I would’ve smiled — it was just that kind of night.

But, when I opened my envelope and saw a number 8 and realized that the captain of the team, the Rocket Richard winner, and arguably the best player in the NHL was skating up to me to give me his jersey…well, I can tell you I didn’t remember much after that.

I love the Caps, I love all of them. But I can’t deny that having Ovi hand me his jersey, signed, and then pose with me for a photo makes me one of the luckiest people on Earth. I don’t remember him saying much besides the niceties anyone would expect. I remember saying “thank you” a bunch of times, smiling ear-to-ear, and thinking to myself that I’d never complain about the price of hockey tickets again.

How did I get picked to be here? How did I pick *that* envelope? And, perhaps a better question, did I just blow my entire life-savings of luck on this one night? If I did, I think it might have been worth it.

Photos

Section 107 Row T seat 2? Hey, that’s Renee!

The winners eagerly wait for the event to start.

As do the players.

Mike Ribeiro signs his jersey.

The Great Eight!

Ovi!

One wonders if he told Renee any “In Soviet Russia” jokes.

The Paralyzer manages not to stun a fan while giving away his jersey.

#TheBank

All photos via Renee.