Photo: Mike Stobe

One of my favorite movies of all-time is Hugo, so let it be know that I’ve always been a huge Chloe Grace Moretz fan. She’s a brilliant actor, but I’m having a hard time appreciating that right now. The reason? She loves the New York Islanders.

Now that’s fine. I can handle her liking another team, even the club that is trying to knock the Capitals out of the playoffs. I appreciate anyone who’s a passionate hockey fan (and respectful).

But her troll-level is so, so very high. Here’s a sampling.

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How Are You Preparing for Game Seven?


Tonight, the Capitals will play game seven against the New York Islanders. It will be the tenth time the club has played in a game seven in the playoffs. Of the nine that have come before, the Caps have won three.

Year Oh God What Happened
 2013 Lost 5-0 to the Rangers
 2012  Lost 2-1 to the Rangers
 2012 Beat the Bruins 2-1 in OT
 2010 Lost 2-1 to the Canadiens
 2009 Lost 6-2 to the Penguins
 2009 Beat the Rangers 2-1
 2008 Lost 3-2 to the Flyers
 1995 Lost 5-0 to the Penguins
 1992 Lost 3-1 to the Penguins
 1988 Lost 3-2 to the Devils
 1992 Beat the Flyers 5-4 in OT
 1987 Lost 3-2 to the Islanders in 4OT

Game seven (gay sev to those in the know) is a familiar, painful Capitals tradition– one that began in ’87 with the heartbreak that was the Easter Epic. No matter what happens tonight, the game will take years off your life. The anxiety is imminent, and it will certainly make you a worse employee and a lazier lover.

How are you preparing for the game? Are you wearing rad Caps gear? Is it radder than my my signed Bradley jersey? Are you making signs and taking them to the game? Got any chants in mind? What is your dog doing and is he/she cute?

Use this space to share your outfit, your plans, and your feels. We’ll get through this together.

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Photo: Bruce Bennett

On Saturday, the Capitals gave up two goals at even strength (and a garbage empty-netter) in game six, pushing the series to what is likely to be a hurl-inducing game seven on Monday. Usually giving up two goals is a good omen (especially for the talented Capitals), but during this wacky series, in five of the six games the losing team has scored only one goal.

That means that tiny mistakes are magnified. It also means that if you’re focusing on the wrong things– like settling a score or going out of your way to throw a big body check– the open ice you’re surrendering could make the difference between winning and losing, especially against a fast Islanders team.

Two of the Capitals’ leaders made tiny mistakes that turned into back-breaking goals in game six. Let’s review.

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Coffee’s for Closers: Islanders beat Caps 3-1


The Caps did not close out the series on the road, but you knew that already.

For the millionth time, the Islanders got onto the scoreboard first. Brooks Orpik lost the play after going for a hit, so John Carlson was overwhelmed in covering John Tavares and company: 1-0 Isles. Late in the period, that same Carlson gave the Caps power play a shot in the arm with a big goal. The second period was wild but scoreless.

Wild Butt Scoreless is the name of my Poison cover band.

Midway through the third period, everything happened in a single play. A rumble along the bench went unwhistled, so Ovechkin creamed Tavares into the glass, and then somehow Kulemin was all alone to beat Braden Holtby. Beagle hit the crossbar, and then Clutterbuck got the empty netter.

Islanders beat Caps 3-1. The series is tied 3-3. Gay sev on Monday.

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Matt Niskanen is usually a pretty steady player who doesn’t look for big hits. But when he does look to lower the boom, boy is it brutal.

Late in the second period of game six, former Capital Mikhail Grabovski tried to carry the puck behind Braden Holtby‘s net. Instead, he was crushed with a beautiful shoulder-to-shoulder hit by Niskanen.

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The second period of game six was intense. There were many dangerous scoring chances, including this shot by Mikhail Grabovski.

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The Washington Capitals have been almost powerless during the man advantage this series. Thirteen opportunities had come and gone with just one goal to show for it.

Early in Saturday’s brawl at Nassau, the Islanders were well aware of Washington’s power outage. The Isles committed two penalties and killed them with ease.

Then Isles captain John Tavares got busted for slashing and John Carlson finally made his team pay.

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It’s almost like Willy relishes the hatred he’s getting from Islanders fans.

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Caps at Islanders Pregame: Shut Down the Barn

Thursday’s 5-1 win over the New York Islanders was the best Capitals’ playoff victory win since 2009. Now, if the Caps can get just one goal over the Isles, they can advance to the next round and shut down Nassau Coliseum for good.

Crash the net. Finish the fight. Shut down the barn.

Caps lead the series 3-2. 3 PM on NBC.

Team Record Possession PDO Power Play Penalty Kill
Washington Capitals 45-26-11 51.9% 100.3 25.3% 81.2%
New York Islanders 47-28-7 53.5% 99.1 18.7% 78.0%

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And I thought EV-GAINING GROUND was awesome. I want to marry this pun and have all of its pun babies.

Thanks for tweeting @SeanCaps8! (You’re so internet famous right now.)

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