We’ve created a new design to take the hockey adorableness level up to 11. Meet Happy Zammy! Happy Zammy is a very cute little ice re-surfacer whose big smile is ready to smooth their way into your heart. You can get Happy Zammy on a onesie, shirt, or hoodie for you little one, or embrace your inner kid with a shirt of your own.
On Sunday evening, Capitals AHL Affiliate Hershey Bears defeated Penguins AHL Affiliate Wilkes-Barre Scranton Penguins (aka the Baby Pens) in Game Seven overtime thanks to a beautiful goal by Travis Boyd. The series proved two things: 1) the Bears’ superiority, and 2) these teams don’t like each other. There were fights galore, including a gathering of the teams at center ice during warm-ups before Game Four that only a Hanson brother could love.
After the game, we got requests from Bears fans to make a WBS version of our ever-popular Deadguins shirt. Have we ever let you down before?
Over the last few weeks, we’ve seen RMNB t-shirts literally everywhere as the Capitals try to march deep into the postseason. We’ve seen them in our Twitter mentions, in our Instagram tags, at Kettler, and at our local Frederick Wegmans. Basically, you guys are insane people and we love you for it.
We were thinking as a group on how to thank you. And this was what we came up with: MAKE MOAR SHIRTS.
Above, you’ll see our first new design, the Sorry, Penguin tee. It’s inspired by this wonderful Ovechkin commercial. If you like your Deadguins tee, then you’ll love wearing this ditty under your jersey too.
The city of brotherly love, Philadelphia, has a history of less-than-brotherly behavior when it comes to sports.
Most recently, we’ve seen Philadelphia fans pelt athletes with plastic bracelets after a scary near-injury, but there have also been snowball-struck Santas, Michael Irving lying on the field with a career-ending injury while Eagles fans boo, and the constant threat of ballistic weaponized batteries.
RMNB commemorates the spirit of Philadelphia fandom in our newest t-shirt.
Over the last six years, we’ve sold enough t-shirts to cover the naked torso of every man and woman living in Brunswick, Maryland. This happened despite the fact our Spreadshirt shop was a usability nightmare. You guys struggled though tiny buttons, even tinier text, and never-ending scrolling to buy merch. We really appreciate your support (I don’t know if we can ever say that enough), which is why I was tasked with redoing our merch store over the weekend.
Ten hours and five Red Bulls later, we have a responsive, easy-to-use t-shirt store that allows you to begin shopping by our designs, not our products. Plus, checking out is a breeze on your phone or tablet.
We’ve also created three new t-shirts for you and brought back a few old favorites. We’re also now offering sizes larger than 2XL, which has long been a request.
When Dmitry Orlov scored his first NHL goal four years ago, Peter blurted out something brilliant on the RMNB account. To this day, I still don’t know how he thought of it.
SCOARlov! First NHL Goal!!!
— RMNB (@russianmachine) January 15, 2012
Since then, Orly doesn’t score mere goals. He SCOARLOVs. On Saturday night, we got our first Orly goal in nearly two years. There was no guarantee we’d see that after a badly broken wrist in the World Championship threatened Orlov’s career. Our new t-shirt commemorates that perseverance and welcomes the many scoarlovs yet to come.
Halloween has come and gone, which can means now we prepare for snowy days, roasting turkeys, and the arrival of ear-splitting annoying carols on forever loops in retail shops. The holiday season is here!
To properly celebrate, RMNB is proud to present its first ever Ugly Holiday Sweater!
Alex Ovechkin, TJ Oshie, Evgeny Kuznetsov. With the injury to Nicklas Backstrom that kept him out of the preseason and first few games of the regular season, Kuznetsov soon found himself centering the top line with Ovechkin and Oshie. And the result so far has been magical. In five games, the top line has combined for 16 points and led the Caps to a 4-1 start.
We wondered what nickname our new top line should have. RMNB reader Andrew Dionne came through in the clutch.
— Andrew Dionne (@sentientcheese) October 18, 2015
Saturday night, I watched in horror as the Anaheim Ducks lost in game seven to the Chicago Blackhawks 5-3. I, the sadistic Caps fan that I am, was rooting for Bruce Boudreau to make it to the Stanley Cup Finals because of how much he did for this area while he coached Washington and Hershey. Instead Bruce’s team collapsed in another big game. He was so tantalizingly close.
Pro Hockey Talk described Bruce’s futility in game sevens, and it’s pretty much the most depressing thing you’ll ever read.
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
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