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Photo: Patrick Smith

When the Washington Capitals gave up two straight breakaways to the Dallas Stars while on their own power play last night, I thought that was rock bottom.

Nope.

Rock bottom was Dustin Jeffrey‘s second period goal. The tally, which came 34 seconds after Ryan Whitney’s 2-on-0 goal on a botched Capitals line change, gave the Dallas Stars a 3-0 lead. It essentially ended the game.

The defense on the goal was atrocious. I’d waste my time or yours with a description. The screenshots and video say everything.

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The Caps game sucks, so let’s look elsewhere for entertainment. How about Pittsburgh, where Sidney Crosby recorded an assist on Chris Kunitz‘s first-period goal against the Carolina Hurricanes. That apple gave Crosby his fifth career 100-point season. He’s a lock for the Art Ross trophy, but that’s not why we’re writing.

No. We’re writing because tonight is the night the refs finally turned on Sid. As Crosby skated into the Pens’ defensive zone, he got smacked a linesman. We’re ethically obligated to say it was unintentional, but c’mon.

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We needed this. With all the furor surrounding the Caps currently, Joel Ward and Jason Chimera helpfully hit the release valve by cutting an Aprils Fools video posing as Caps media men John Walton and Mike Vogel.

In a skull cap and wig, the third-line wingers hosted the pre-game  Two-Man Advantage video. Ward repeated Walton’s catch phrase three or seven times, and Chimera rattled off stats in a meaningless number salad– all in an uncanny impersonation of Vogel.

This is great. Please watch it. I promise it will cheer you up.

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Al Koken Calls Everybody Calle Johansson

Photo: Peter Hassett

Filling in for Joe B. has to be tough. It’s even harder when you have to do it on short notice, which Al Koken was forced to do on Sunday after Beninati fell ill. There are, after all, a lot of names to memorize in play-by-play. It seems Smokin’ Al, who flew into Nashville last night after doing yesterday’s game, remembered one name a little too well: Calle Johansson.

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Brouwer laughs at Ian. Seriously, that’s what’s happening in this photo. (Photo: Patrick Smith)

Ian Oland is a very stupid person. In the midst of Troy Brouwer’s poor start, Ian bet that the winger wouldn’t hit 20 goals this season. Because he lost, Ian had to dress up as a Brouwer Ranger during Saturday’s game. Since the beginning of February, however, Brouwer has 13 goals. He scored two against Nashville on Sunday, hitting a career high. With 23 goals, Brouwer is having his best season ever.

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There’s a saying I hate: What have you done for me lately? It’s ignorant, brushing off a person’s full contributions. But that’s the attitude among a lot of lippy sports fans, especially on Twitter.

I bring this up because after Nicklas Backstrom missed on his shootout attempt at the end of Sunday’s game, some people got frustrated. I get it– to a point.

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First-year pro Patrick Wey hit Nashville Predators facepuncher extraordinairre Rich Clune along the benches on Sunday night. That was obviously unacceptable per the rules of gentlemanly conduct, so Clune challenged Wey to a fight and then knocked him out.

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Evgeny Kuznetsov Scores Unlikely Goal in Final Minute

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The Capitals sort of played a stinker against the Boston Bruins. There was precious little to enjoy about the game: a couple flashy saves by Braden Holtby, Jason Chimera crashing the net, maybe Ian rocking the spandex with the Brouwer Rangers. Thanks to the game’s final minute, we can add one more to that list: Evgeny Kuznetsov‘s stinger of a goal.

Seemingly defeated by Carl Soderberg’s insurance goal with seven minutes left, the Caps struggled to put together any kind of offensive push in the closing minutes of rego. Troy Brouwer made one such push, but the Bruins D tied him up. That play looked like it would fizzle like so many others against Boston.

Enter the New Guy.

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Photo: @a0gr8

His mother Tatyana won two Olympic gold medals in basketball for Team Russia, so Alex Ovechkin has always had a love for the sport. He’s gone to Dynamo basketball games. He’s been featured playing basketball (shirtless, of course) with his friends in his DVD. He’s even shot around with BFF Nicky Backstrom during one of Bruce Boudreau’s press conferences.

On Wednesday night, on his day off, Ovechkin took fiancee Maria Kirilenko and his new best bud in the whole wide world, Evgeny Kuznetsov, to the Wizards/Suns game at Verizon Center.

It appears they had fun.

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ovechkin-scores-celebrates

Photo: Rob Carr

Last night, Washington Capitals captain Alex Ovechkin quietly had a three-point game. In the first period, he scored two goals, one of which was lucky, lucky, lucky. The Ovi Spot was once again accommodating for The Great Eight.

Ovechkin now has 48 goals on the season and 85 multi-goal games in his career. Last night was the tenth time this season where Ovechkin’s scored the game’s opening goal.

Here’s some more mind-blowing stats from the Capitals: Ovechkin has scored 22 powerplay goals this season, tying the Capitals single-season record. Wednesday marked Ovechkin’s ninth multi-goal game and fourth multi-power-play goal game of the season. Ovechkin has recorded three or more points in a game seven times this season and leads the NHL in goals, power-play goals (22) and shots (358).

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