cooke-knee

Screen by ChadGraff

There was once a straight-faced Matt Cooke for Lady Byng campaign, but he’s like the Lich from Adventure Time. You know he’s gonna do something awful; you just don’t know when.

Cut to: Monday might in Minnesota. Cookie went knee-on-knee with Colorado’s Tyson Barrie, injuring him. It was awful, the quintessence of Cooke.

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Apparently, Pavel Datsyuk is the Magic Man

the-magic-man-datsyuk

Bad photoshop by me

After scoring one of the prettiest goals of the year, Pavel Datsyuk nabbed all the headlines after the Wings-Bruins game on Friday night. In the neutral zone, the 35-year-old Russian reached behind his body, pulled a puck through his legs, skated into Boston’s offensive zone, and scored. That was the game one game-winner.

Appreciate this ish.

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ovi-national-team

Photo: R-Sport

On Monday, Washington Capitals forwards Alex Ovechkin, Evgeny Kuznetsov, and Dmitry Orlov joined the Russian national team in Novogorsk, near Moscow, to get ready for the IIHF World Championships to take place in Minsk, Belarus beginning on May 9th.

According to new national team head coach Oleg Znarok, the players exercised for an hour and fifteen minutes. How exciting.

Znarok also revealed that all three Caps players will play Thursday against Germany in the Eurochallenge, an exhibition tournament to help teams prepare for the World Championships.

Afterwards, Ovechkin talked to a bunch of different Russian press members. He didn’t really say much.

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ovesby

The greatest story in the history of hockey continues. I am so excited to share this I am about to puke rainbows all over the keyboard.

Our brother from another blogger, Kyle Mace of SHOE, shared this photo from Hershey, Pennsylvania. It’s the sequel to CROCHKIN, the legendary Sidney Crosby/Alex Ovechkin Frankenstein shirsey.

Ladies and germs: presenting OVESBY!

Is everyone freaking out or is it just me?

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semyon-varlamov-obscures

Photo: Doug Pensinger

In Patrick Roy’s first game as head coach of the Colorado Avalanche, he set the tone of the Avs’ season when he got into a glass-shoving incident with Bruce Boudreau on the bench. The Avs, who went from worst to first this season, have taken on Roy’s fiery personality.

Even young Russian daffodil Semyon Varlamov has allowed parts of Roy’s take no shit attitude to seep into his game. Consider Friday night against the Minnesota Wild.

In Game One, as the Wild’s Mikko Koivu attempted to pressure an Avs breakout, he got a bit too close to Varlamov’s crease and he learned that you DON’T SASS THE VARLAMONSTER.

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jaynen-rissling

Photo: WHL Images

“Where were you when it happened?” That’s what your grandchildren will ask you about the events of April 19, 2014, when the Capitals announced the trade of a 20-year-old WHL D-man for a pick that has a one-in-nine chance of having an NHL career.

Jaynen Rissling has played 273 games for the Calgary Hitmen, who were eliminated from the playoffs by the Kootenay Ice last month. Rissling now belongs to the Nashville Predators and everything has changed.

We are now living in the Post-Rissling Era. Adjust your calendars accordingly.

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madison-bowey

Washington Capitals prospect Madison Bowey scored a goal and tallied an assist in the Kelowna Rockets’ game one 5-4 Western Conference finals win over a team with another Caps’ draft pick, Garrett Haar‘s Portland Winterhawks.

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alex-ovechkin-flies-home

On Monday, the Washington Capitals held Breakdown Day at Kettler Capitals Iceplex after missing the playoffs for the first time in six years. Alex Ovechkin spoke about his disappointment, Evgeny Kuznetsov talked about sneezing, and Dmitry Orlov learned what corsi is.

Four days later, all three Caps Russians jumped on a plane to go back home.

You know what that means: selfies on an airplane.

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Michal Neuvirth’s Elastic Groin (Photo)

michal-neuvirths-elastic-groins

Looking more like torture than exercise, former Washington Capitals goaltender Michal Neuvirth tweeted out this photo of himself doing the splits on some kind of weird slide board this afternoon. Neuvirth, who was traded to the Sabres at the trade deadline, played in two games for Buffalo before getting sidelined with another injury.

In his tweet today, Neuvirth said he was “finally feeling good!” If this were me doing the splits, I would not be feeling good at all. I’d be going to the hospital. I’ll keep Neuvy’s groin in my prayers.

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Andre Burakovsky‘s junior team, the Erie Otters, kicked off the OHL Western conference finals against Guelph Storm on Thursday.

The series features the league’s two best regular-season teams and could become the best match-up of the playoffs, featuring three NHL first-round draft selections (Burakovsky, Brendan Gaunce, and Jason Dickinson) as well as three shoo-ins to be picked in the first round of either 2014 or 2015 (Robby Fabbri, Connor McDavid, and Dylan Strome).

Game One more than lived up to the hype: the teams combined for nine goals on 53 shots, trading the lead all game long. Guelph won 5-4 at home and retained home-ice advantage. Burakovsky, playing on the Otters second line with Strome and Michael Curtis, was the catalyst of Erie’s attacks, earning third star of the game honors.

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