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Photo: Rob Carr

Late in the first period, the Colorado Avalanche went offside and the whistle blew. Tom Wilson decided this was the perfect moment to skate over and have a chat with future hall of famer Jarome Iginla.

It did not work out well for Willy Baby.

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Caps vs Avalanche Pregame: The Avs Suck So Beat Them!


Photo: Amanda Bowen

Saturday! Caps hockey! Against a terrible hockey team!

I mean, seriously, look how bad the Colorado Avalanche are. The Y axis only goes up to 46 percent for shot-attempt percentage!


This isn’t to say that the Caps are assured victory. Hockey can be really random. It’s a game of probabilities and isn’t deterministic in nature. So, maybe the Caps will lose. But, when you’re playing a bad team at home, it’s obviously best to grab two points.

Team Record Possession PDO Power Play Penalty Kill
Washington Capitals 12-5-1 54.0% 99.7 21.8% 86%
Colorado Avalanche 7-11-1 44.4% 101.3 18.7% 76.9%

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Mike Green Scores First Goal with Detroit Red Wings

Carlos Osorio

Photo: Carlos Osorio

On Friday night, a player by the name of Mike Green scored his first goal with the Detroit Red Wings. He did not use an Easton Stealth CNT stick.

Early in the second period against the Pacific Division leading Kings, Green snapped a 1-1 tie by skating into the slot to collect a rebound and firing the puck past Jhonas Enroth. It was typical aggressive Mike Green hockey. After the tally, Green broke into a smile before being hugged by his teammates, who are not Washington Capitals. Green had spent his entire 10-year career with the Caps before signing a three-year, $18-million deal with the Wings this offseason. Battling an injury for part of the season, he had previously six point in 13 games for Detroit.

“I’ve been kind of concentrating on trying to shoot the puck more and, you know, at least get something created,” Green told reporters after Detroit’s 3-2 victory. “So it felt good today.”

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GIF Recap: Caps Beat Red Wings, Lose To Stars


Photo: Patrick Smith

The Capitals followed up a 2-1 overtime win over the Detroit Red Wings on Wednesday with a 3-2 loss at home to the Dallas Stars the following night. Evgeny Kuznetsov scored the OT winner against the Red Wings, and Alex Ovechkin finally scored goal number 484 on the Stars to become the highest scoring Russian player in the NHL.

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After Evgeny Kuznetsov closed the coliseum for good, the Islanders moved from Uniondale to Brooklyn and the lovely but flawed Barclays Center. According to Nets Daily, only a quarter of the season-ticket holders at Nassau renewed in Brooklyn. The New York Times has called Brooklyn’s reception of the team a “mixed welcome.”

In a segment from the Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore, correspondent Mike Yard tries to learn hockey and introduce the Brooklyn community to (noted Ovi meanie) Cal Clutterbuck. The culture clash is eye opening and funny.

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Joel Ward Got Locked Out of the Locker Room in Philadelphia


Artist’s rendering.

Yep, it happened again. Former Capital Joel Ward, he of locked in a bathroom stall fame, got locked out of the visitors locker room in Philadelphia on Thursday. I’ll let CSN Philadelphia’s Chris Therien explain.

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Ovi Did The Thing, but Stars beat Caps 3-2


For all intensive purposes, the Caps and Stars are both great teams–to the point that their talent is basically one in the same. In Thursday’s match-up, each team basically had the puck at their beckon call irregardless of the other team’s wishes. It was firewagon hockey. “I could care less,” each team basically said of the other’s attempts at defense, which was a mute point. Instead, offense basically wrecked havoc.

Tyler Seguin gave the Stars some leadway after a daring stretch pass and some net-front fury from Patrick Sharp, which wasn’t goalie interference after all. Nick Backstrom extracted revenge with a big bounce from the back boards to tie the game up before the first intermission.

A scoring pause began in the second period, but ex-Cap Cody Eakin nipped that in the butt in the third period with a heatseeker. In response, Alex Ovechkin became the best Russian scorer ever with a tip-in to tie the game. The Stars restored the lead by stripping John Carlson and getting Jason Spezza to rip a quick shot on net.

Stars beat Caps 3-2.

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Alex Ovechkin Becomes NHL’s Goal-Scoring Russian Leader


For the third and final goddamn time, Alex Ovechkin has taken the NHL record for most goals scored by a Russian.


That’s right. While Ovechkin’s first 484th goal was waved off for goalie interference committed by Justin Williams, and Ovechkin’s second 484th goal was waved off for offside zone entry committed by Justin Williams, Ovechkin’s third 484th goal wasn’t ruined by Justin Williams at all. Williams wasn’t even on the ice. Instead, Ovechkin simply crashed the net to tie the game and seize the record.

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Photo: Laughing Hyena Tattoos

Last Saturday, during the Capitals’ long break between games, center Nicklas Backstrom tattooed someone. And by tattooed I truly mean he permanently carved a message into someone’s body with needle and ink.

In a video published by Sweden’s biggest newspaper Aftonbladet, Backstrom tattoos the word Skön…t! onto former Swedish Idol judge and hockey/media guy Daniel Breitholtz.

According to Magnus Cadelin, the tattoo is inspired by a joke quote from Backstrom a decade ago.

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Caps vs Stars Pregame: There Will Be Fun

The offensive juggernaut that is the Dallas Stars marches into the nation’s capital tonight. The Stars are a high speed, high-octane team that can make any team look silly. Tyler Seguin and Jamie Benn sit second and third in the NHL in points right now and form an absurdly talented first line with Patrick Sharp.

The Stars are possibly the most entertaining team to watch in the league. They have more events (that is, a shot attempt by either team) per 60 minutes of play than any team in the league. But don’t take this to mean their defense is terrible. While they do play a more open style of game, they rank in the middle of the league in shot attempts allowed.

Pay no mind to all the talk of the Caps’ lack of success against the Stars over the past seven years or so. Unless, of course, you believe a team’s name effects the outcome of the game, because that’s the biggest similarity in all of the Caps losses to the Stars.

The fun begins at 7 PM on CSN.

Team Record Possession PDO Power Play Penalty Kill
Washington Capitals 12-4-1 54.4% 100 21.8% 85.4%
Dallas Stars 15-4-0 53.3% 100.3 29.3% 79.3%

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