jeff-schultz-monarchs-team-photo

Sarge is in the middle, finger raised, letting everyone know he’s number one. (Photo: Manchester Monarchs)

Ladies and gentlemen, Jeff Schultz has done it againOne year to the day after winning the Stanley Cup with the Los Angeles Kings, Sarge won the Calder Cup with the Kings’ American Hockey League affiliate, the Manchester Monarchs. Schultz has won two straight championships since getting bought out by the Washington Capitals in June 2013.

Why am I laugh-crying?

Continue Reading

Tagged with:
 

All the Juicy News About Caps Free Agents

braden-holtby-game-seven-ovi

Baby, come back!

ESPN’s Craig Custance dropped a big old newsbomb on Caps free agency today, providing updates on the team’s plans for everyone from Braden Holtby (spoiler alert: good news!) to Mike Green (spoiler alert: also good news, depending on your perspective!).

Continue Reading

Tagged with:
 

Joel Ward: 2014-15 Season Review

When George McPhee signed Joel Ward to a four-year, $12-million deal, many thought it was an exorbitant contract based on a playoff performance he’d never live up to. But then, he sorta did.

Continue Reading

Tagged with:
 

don-loves-ovechkin

Hahaha. Yeah, ooooooook, Don.

Old, yelling, Canadian relic Don Cherry left his piano desk on Wednesday and spoke to SovSport’s Pavel Lysenkov after game four. Cherry answered questions about a variety of Russian hockey topics, but our RMNB radar went into panic mode when he brought up Washington Capitals captain Alex Ovechkin.

Over the years, Cherry has made Ovi one of his favorite athletes to flog. From telling the three-time MVP to “have a little class” to declaring some NHL player is “gonna cut him in half,” Cherry has made his feelings known about the Russian star.

Wednesday, Cherry revealed that “Ovechkin is one of my favorite players.” Wait, what?

Igor Kleyner has your translation.

Continue Reading

Tagged with:
 

Nate Schmidt: 2014-15 Season Review

Once again, Nate Schmidt put up a sterling performance for the Washington Capitals and was rewarded for his effort by a demotion to Hershey.

Same Schmidt, different day.

Continue Reading

Tagged with:
 

so-sick))))

Over the last decade, Caps fans have gotten to know Alex Ovechkin and watched him become one of the greatest goal scorers of all-time. Along the way, we’ve also been exposed to Ovi’s style of communication. There’s always lots of ha ha‘s and exclamation points. And parentheses.

Parenthesis use on social media grew out of Russia as an alternative to smilies. It’s similar to the use of terms like LOL, ROFL, and LIRL— just coded in a simpler way.

Have you seen those Discovery documentaries about elephant language? This is pretty much it.

Continue Reading

Tagged with:
 

Alex Ovechkin: 2014-15 Season Review

Photo: Patrick McDermott

I was trying to come up with the most elegant way to introduce the RMNB season review for Alex Ovechkin, but all I came up with is this:

OVI BESSSSTTTTT

HAHHAHAHAHAHHAA))))))))))

Continue Reading

Tagged with:
 

Alex Ovechkin’s On A Boat!

ovi-on-a-boat

Photo: @nastyashubskaya

We have entered the part of summer where with Caps news everything is nothing, and nothing is everything. Today, I bring you this shadow-y photo from Nastya Shubskaya’s Instagram, where we find Washington Capitals captain Alex Ovechkin with his girlfriend Nastya on a boat. Now let’s spit some rhymes.

Continue Reading

Tagged with:
 

Brooks Orpik: 2014-15 Season Review

“The things that Brooks Orpik does you can’t put a value on.” That’s what Barry Trotz said in July, and he was wrong. You can put a value on it, and that value is $27.5 million over 5 years.

In year one of his contract, Orpik did well enough– but this was never about the player so much as the wacky expectations foisted upon him.

Continue Reading

Tagged with:
 

young-rising-sons

So, um, this is amazing.

First: some context! The Patrick family is one of the most famous families in hockey history. Lynn, Lester, Frank, and Craig Patrick are all in the Hall of Fame. Dick Patrick is the Capitals’ President of Operations.

One little known fact is that Dick’s nephew Steve is making a huge name for himself outside of hockey. Steve Patrick drums for the rock band Young Rising Sons, who had maybe one of the bigger rock singles of 2014 with “High.” You’ve likely heard it before in commercials or on the radio. It’s catchy as hell. They are releasing their first full length album in the fall with Interscope Records.

On Monday morning, after reading our story about Paige Hockman and her best friend Reagan Flemming (who tragically died of cancer this past March), Steve and lead singer Andy Tongren reached out to us. Inspired by the whole story, they graciously recorded an acoustic version of “How Do I Live” in their Caps jerseys. The song was first made famous by country singers LeAnn Rimes, Trisha Yearwood, and me on Twitter whenever I over-dramatically tweet about missing Filip Forsberg.

Continue Reading