The new Alex Ovechkin DVD came out today to much aplomb. Surely, you’ve seen the trailer. Hopefully you’ve followed along as Dan Steinberg cataloged the shirtlessness. It’s kind of a big deal.

Alyonka Larionov (daughter of Igor “The Profesor” Larionov), who worked on the film, supplied this note using some newfangled technology called YouTube:

(Alyonka, you are brilliant. Call me. Let’s get slurpees together. – Peter)

Neil, Ian, and Peter couldn’t make it to Alex’s signing at the Best Buy in Sterling, Virginia for personal reasons (iPad fiddling, sculpting a Braden Holtby golem, and Glee respectively). But that doesn’t mean our army of spies weren’t out in full force to relay all the salacious details.

Paula G. writes us:

I got to Best Buy around 5:30, expecting it to be crazy. The line was pretty long even half an hour early: it wrapped around the store when I got there, and I can imagine it only got longer.

When Ovi got there, everyone cheered. Surprisingly enough the line moved quickly, even though we were allowed to pose for pictures with him. He put his car in the shop at the back ( I didn’t even know Best Buy even did cars?!), so we got to take some pictures of his car along the way. It took 20 minutes to get to the front of the line. Though the handlers did rush us a bit, everyone got to take a picture with him, and he was really gracious and polite. Ovi had some friends there, too, that joked with him between autographs. His biggest smiles were for the little kids, especially for the babies [Ed. note - Paula assures us 'babies' is not slang for particularly hot women]. By 7 PM the line was really short, and Ovi took a break. I think he signed for another hour, but all in all it was easy and fun,and more importantly it didn’t take forever. Good experience!

Now I’m going to go watch the DVD. Shirtless Ovi time!

Thanks for finishing on that lustful note, Paula.

Suzanne speaks her piece:

Like buzzards Caps fans pick the bones from the DVD kiosk.

The table was like an assembly line. They ask you to take the cover off the DVD and take it from you when you reach the front of the line. They hand that cover to Ovi, who signs it and passes it to a third guy. That guy passes it back to you.

Alex Ovechkin’s t-shirt says, “Avoid Responsibility.” That is awesome. [Ed. note - RMNB policy strictly forbids emoticons, but you should know there was one here.]

Alex himself was pretty shy.  He didn’t say much at all, but the guys helping at the table thanked me when I left. He is, however, a total sucker for little kids. He would stop the signing to take pictures with them.

Aww, Ovechkin. One day he will make a great daddy. In the meantime, avoid responsibility at all costs. Dude, us too.

Photos!

Suzanne’s autographed DVD will sit right next Point Break and The Cutting Edge on the shelf.

Insolent children are forced to write jokes for RMNB game reacps while parents wait in line.

Patient fans make small talk to drown out Chad Dukes’s voice pouring out of the stereo section.

The Ovechkin jalopy in the Best Buy garage. If he got those awful Sony Xplod speakers installed, I’m officially a Crosby fan.

Thank you to Paula G. and Suzanne K. for their reader reports and photos. If you also attended the signing, please share your story below.

Thanks to a helpful tip via email, RMNB brings to you the exclusive sneak peak of the next DVD you will buy, entitled “Alex Ovechkin: The GR8.” Not going to lie: it looks pretty epic.

Check out the preview, where you will see Ovi scoaring moar goals, shooting hoops with his moms, and – for the ladies – shirtlessness. (You’ll see what I mean in the screencaps below.)

Finally, for those of you who are interested in meeting the best hockey player to ever lace-up skates in a Washington Capitals uniform, Ovi will be having a DVD signing on Tuesday at the Sterling Best Buy around 6pm. Since that’s Northern VA and a on work day, there’s no chance I’ll be there. But I encourage you guys to go and send us pictures (thecrew@russianmachineneverbreaks.com).

To the Screencaps!

Hey! Who let Crosby onto the DVD??