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Photo: Martin Rose

The International Ice Hockey Federation on Monday announced an $85,000 fine against the Russian Hockey Federation for an incident that occurred after Canada embarrassed Russia again, this time at the 2015 IIHF Ice Hockey World Championship in the Czech Republic. But don’t lump Washington Capitals captain Alex Ovechkin into this mess.

Here’s what went down. After Canada destroyed Russia 6-1 in the gold medal game, most of Team Russia’s skaters left the ice immediately after receiving their silver medals. This was a problem because good sportsmanship (and, apparently, the rulebook) requires the losing team to stay on the the ice for the entire medal ceremony, including the playing of the victors’ national anthem. The IIHF noted that team captain Ilya Kovalchuk led the mass departure, though it’s hard to imagine where they got the idea that Kovalchuk would leave something before he was supposed to.

Meanwhile, according to the Russian news agency TASS, Alex Ovechkin stayed for the entire ceremony and tried to keep his team on the ice. That’s called good leadership, people.

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Remember when I said that the Alex Ovechkin Kharlamov Trophy press conference was the gift that keeps on giving? Today, I bring you a translation and GIFs of Alex Ovechkin drawing Alex Ovechkin via SovSport.

Alex Ovechkin drawn by Alex Ovechkin looks like a cross between Hey Arnold, Doug Funnie, and a stick figure. Ovechkin’s girlfriend, Nastya Shubskaya, fared much better.

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Amazing photoshop by me.

Apparently Ilya Bryzgalov isn’t the only Russian hockey player interested in the universe. After being awarded the Kharlamov Trophy as the NHL’s best Russian player on Wednesday, Alex Ovechkin was presented with an official “certificate” from Russian astronomer Leonid Elenin.

The certificate commemorates the asteroid that Elenin discovered on March 31, 2009 and named Ovechkin five years later. Elenin called the asteroid a late birthday gift for the Russian machine at the time.

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In the seminal Wayne Knight film, Space Jam (1996, directed by Michael Jackson music video director Joe Pytka and written by at least four dudes), the Looney Tunes cartoons must defend the earth from hostile aliens by winning a basketball game. Asked to pick his team, Bugs Bunny went immediately for the greatest of all time, Michael Jordan. Should the same situation occur in the realm of hockey– and you freaking know it will– Alex Ovechkin knows who he’d want on his team.

  • Jonathan Toews
  • Sidney Crosby
  • Anze Kopitar
  • Vladimir Putin

Oh. Okay. Well, here we go again.

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Photo: Sov Sport

Wednesday, Alex Ovechkin won his seventh career Kharlamov Trophy as the best Russian player in the NHL. During the subsequent press conference, Ovechkin was asked about a wide variety of topics including the NHL’s participation in the 2018 Olympics.

While the NHL has sent its players to the Olympics since 1998 (fast fact via Chuck Gormley), there is growing speculation that the NHL will not participate in the 2018 Games held in Pyeongchang, South Korea.

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Photo: Sov Sport

Wednesday, Washington Capitals captain Alex Ovechkin received his seventh Kharlamov Trophy as the most valuable Russian player in the National Hockey League. The award, named after the Soviet ice hockey player Valeri Kharlamov, is voted on by all active Russians playing in the NHL.

While taking part in a press conference afterwards, Ovechkin was asked about the report that Russian defenseman Ilya Nikulin – the Russian machine’s best friend – was in talks with the Washington Capitals.

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Photo: eveliinushka

On Friday, Caps Captain Alex Ovechkin participated in Ilya Kovalchuk’s charity hockey Game From Pure Heart . This year, the game was held at the Palace of Sports in Kazan and raised 8-million rubles (almost 125,000 USD) for local orphanages .

Team Morozov beat Team Kovalchuk (Ovechkin’s team) 11 to 9. The retiring Alexei Morozov scored three goals in his farewell game. Kovy scored four.

Morozov’s team consisted mostly of his ex-comrades from Ak Bars: Danis Zaripov, Sergei Zinoviev, Alexei Emelin, Vitali Proshkin, and Alexei Tereshchenko. The senior executive of Tatarstan/acting head of the republic, Rustam Minnikhanov, and the mayor of Kazan, Ilsur Metshin, also participated. Kovalchuk’s team featured Ovechkin, Alexander Radulov, Sergei Mozyakin, plus Deputy Prime Minister Arkady Dvorkovich and KHL chairman Gennady Timchenko.

There were some good moments in the game, such as when Ovechkin played against actual children.

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Last week, Russian rapper T-Killah posted an Instagram video of Alex Ovechkin sweaty and shirtless. Because reasons. The two comrades, along with Ovechkin’s close friend Sasha Gusev, had just completed a game of basketball and were debating their sporting skillz.

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Alex Ovechkin has probably been on more magazine covers than Kim Kardashian and today he adds one more. The Hockey News will make The Great Eight their cover boy for their “Future Of Hockey” issue.

I don’t have much more to add than that– except, well, I do notice something.

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Happy Tweet Like Ovi Day 2015))))))))))))))

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You guys, today is August 8th (8/8) and you know what that means! It’s time to celebrate Washington Capitals captain Alex Ovechkin and his amazing communication style with our very own made-up holiday, Tweet Like Ovi Day.

To participate, jump on Twitter (we’re @russianmachine), drink 8 Red Bulls, and then recklessly abandon all grammar and punctuation rules you learned in grade school. Make sure to conclude every tweet with a hahaha and some exuberant close parenthesis )))))). You’ll also want to include the hashtag #TweetLikeOviDay in your submissions. Let’s get this ish trending.

Ovi participated last year and it was, well, so sick))))))

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