What to Watch Instead of the NHL Awards


Photo: Tom Szczerbowski/USA TODAY Sports

Let’s get real for a hot second. I don’t enjoy the NHL Awards. You don’t enjoy the NHL Awards. Why do we insist on pretending we do?

Every year the NHL trots out a mediocre host and a handful of celebrity (?) presenters, mashes them up with a band best known for being one people love to hate (2015: Daughtry, 2014: Phillip Phillips, 2012: Nickelback – you get it), and tries to pretend players would rather be there wearing shirts than at a pool party not wearing shirts. The best year of the NHL Awards was 2013, when there wasn’t an NHL Awards.

Here’s what’s going to happen tonight: Alex Ovechkin will take home the Rocket Richard trophy. That much is certain. He’s also contender for both the Hart Trophy as league MVP and the Ted Lindsay Award as the MVP as voted by the players. If he wins them, you knew he was going to win them, so what’s even the point of watching? If they go to Carey Price, then it was all a sham anyway so why bother?

Instead of suffering through Rob Riggle’s Gary Bettman-approved jokes and big-name celebrities – one half of 90s country duo Brooks & Dunn, Tom Hanks’ son, and Alex Ovechkin’s favorite DJ – awkwardly mispronounce the name Pavel Datsyuk, you should watch something else. Always here to serve, RMNB has put together some recommendations based on tonight’s TV listings.

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Alex Ovechkin Is Alex Ovechkin’s Biggest Fan


Earlier this evening, Alex Ovechkin took questions from reporters ahead of Wednesday’s night NHL Awards ceremony. Ovechkin’s first question was difficult, but he navigated it with ease.

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Photo: Ovi’s Instagram (@aleksandrovechkinofficial)

Let’s face it, Alexander Ovechkin is having a better summer than any of us. While we’re sweating out 96 degrees and a billion percent humidity in our business-casual khakis, the Capitals’ captain is chiiiiillllliiinnng poolside in Vegas with the most random assortment of people imaginable.

And he seems to have lost his shirt.

Here’s a who’s-who of those with whom Ovechkin is hanging out with.

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Hahaha. Yeah, ooooooook, Don.

Old, yelling, Canadian relic Don Cherry left his piano desk on Wednesday and spoke to SovSport’s Pavel Lysenkov after game four. Cherry answered questions about a variety of Russian hockey topics, but our RMNB radar went into panic mode when he brought up Washington Capitals captain Alex Ovechkin.

Over the years, Cherry has made Ovi one of his favorite athletes to flog. From telling the three-time MVP to “have a little class” to declaring some NHL player is “gonna cut him in half,” Cherry has made his feelings known about the Russian star.

Wednesday, Cherry revealed that “Ovechkin is one of my favorite players.” Wait, what?

Igor Kleyner has your translation.

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Over the last decade, Caps fans have gotten to know Alex Ovechkin and watched him become one of the greatest goal scorers of all-time. Along the way, we’ve also been exposed to Ovi’s style of communication. There’s always lots of ha ha‘s and exclamation points. And parentheses.

Parenthesis use on social media grew out of Russia as an alternative to smilies. It’s similar to the use of terms like LOL, ROFL, and LIRL— just coded in a simpler way.

Have you seen those Discovery documentaries about elephant language? This is pretty much it.

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Alex Ovechkin: 2014-15 Season Review

Photo: Patrick McDermott

I was trying to come up with the most elegant way to introduce the RMNB season review for Alex Ovechkin, but all I came up with is this:



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Alex Ovechkin’s On A Boat!


Photo: @nastyashubskaya

We have entered the part of summer where with Caps news everything is nothing, and nothing is everything. Today, I bring you this shadow-y photo from Nastya Shubskaya’s Instagram, where we find Washington Capitals captain Alex Ovechkin with his girlfriend Nastya on a boat. Now let’s spit some rhymes.

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Photo: Sydney Madison Photography

Friday in Culpeper, Virginia, a few hundred Eastern View High seniors gathered at Cyclone Stadium, the school’s football field, for graduation. Like the thousands of other students across the area, graduation is a huge celebration– the culmination of many, many years of hard work (or just enough expert coasting to get by).

But there was one Eastern View senior who was walking with a heavy heart: 18-year-old Paige Hockman, who was graduating with honors. As she walked on stage and accepted her diploma, she blew a kiss into the sky. Most in the audience understood exactly what the gesture meant.

The top of her powder blue graduation cap had a message written in glitter glue: “Guys, I did it!!!” The names Reagan, mom, and dad accompanied the note with blue hearts. Blue was her father’s favorite color.

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In the latest episode of Bones, titled The Woman in the Whirlpool, Washington Capitals captain Alex Ovechkin made an appearance. Sort of.

An old poster of Ovi is seen in a restaurant where Dr. Temperance “Bones” Brennan (Emily Deschanel) and her partner FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth (David Boreanaz) meet up.

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Photos via GQ Magazine

Earlier in the year, the NHLPA did a feature on Alex Ovechkin and asked his teammates about him.

“The one thing I would love the hockey world to know about Alex is that he has the worst style ever,” Troy Brouwer said lovingly of his captain then.

This quote is particularly relevant now. Ovechkin participated in a charity basketball game in Russia on Saturday. And well– there’s no nice way to say this– he wore the ugliest shoes ever.

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