Capitals vs Devils on Thursday did not go well. Chris Gordon did his best to delight you while holding the RMNB reins, but nothing could salvage a very bad night for the home team.

Except maybe this.

By the way, the Capitals’ minus-18 even-strength shot differentials is their worst regular-season differential since… well since sometime in the Boudreau era as far as I can tell.

Did you know the Capitals have committed eight delay-of-game penalties in the last sixteen games? I think that’s a 29y53% increase from last year, but you can check my math.

Fast Fact: Alex Ovechkin fired 16 shots in the last 3 games without a goal. He usually scores twice in that span.

John Carlson. Just John Carlson.

Capitals human Jay Beagle won 88% of his 9 faceoffs. HEY WAIT THAT’S NOT SAD AT ALL. YEY JAY

Shucks. Thursday was the Caps’ second consecutive “wasted start.” Braden Holtby’s play should be good enough for a win 75% of the time.

Troy Brouwer got a misconduct at the end of regulation for being snippy. Can you blame him?

Brooks Laich is on twitter, but not the ice.

Thank you to @weaglemonkey for the inspiration. Spay or neuter your pets, y’all!