How much did last night suck? True story: Peter and Ian had a big fight about writing the game recap. Peter was too grumpy to write it, and Ian was too grumpy to put up with Peter’s hissy fit. Today, they exchanged LOLcats and everything seems fine again. For now.
Is the change of mood due to the Caps’ pathetic overtime loss, or is something more sinister behind it? Could it be that our nascent facial hair is turning us into hyper-masculine, moody bastards? The intention of #beardpact was to create levity and togetherness among Caps fans, but it may have gone awry. Let’s take this time to redouble our efforts. No change from yesterday: sixteen wins stand between our team and glory. Within that increment there must be a lot of dudes with itchy necks and annoyed girlfriends/wives/platonic opposite-sex companions.
Let’s check in with the RMNB staff, all of whom could use a hug today.
Caps Nation begins its parallel march to victory. Fans across D.C., Virginia, and Maryland, have shaved their last shave until summertime. Russian Machine is here to solemnly document the personal hell that we put ourselves through in the name of our team. Here we shall offer moral support and gentle mocking in equal portions. #beardpact brings fans together.
Let’s begin our daily recap of the RMNB scruff, most of whom started with a fresh shave yesterday.
In accordance with no one in particular, Russian Machine Never Breaks proudly presents #beardpact. From Thursday morning until the night Alex Ovechkin hoists the Stanley Cup, we vow not to shave.
That’s stupid. Why?
Beards are the zenith of manliness. First, they are scratchy and unpleasant to womenfolk. Second, they look awesome. Third, if you have something tasty for lunch, you can enjoy the smell all the way until dinnertime.
Russian Machine Never Breaks is not associated with the Washington Capitals; Monumental Sports, the NHL, or its properties. Not even a little bit.
All original content on russianmachineneverbreaks.com is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-NC-SA 3.0)– unless otherwise stated or superseded by another license. You are free to share, copy, and remix this content so long as it is attributed, done for noncommercial purposes, and done so under a license similar to this one.