Alzner

Alzner, left, seen here not tweeting. (Photo credit: Chris Gordon)

The NHL lockout caused many casualties. Games, fans — all lost to the sport for years to come. No loss, however, was bigger than Karl Alzner‘s Twitter account. After some tense exchanges with fans on the site in early December, Alzner deleted his profile. It had been a wild ride. Washington’s number 27 brought pictures of his dogs and the living room they destroyed. He tweeted pictures of his dogs. And sometimes even his dogs.

“I told him to grow up,” fellow Twitter user Joel Ward (@JRandalWard42) told RMNB’s Ian Oland when asked about the disappearance. “I hope I can get some of his followers on my team.”

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Russian Machine Never Breaks: We Suck, 2011 Edition

We just finished basking in the glow of our successes in the past year. Ahhhh… Yes, that was nice.

But now it’s over, and we must look ourselves in the mirror to see the billion things we have screwed up over the past year. We’ve got a huge collection of embarrassments and goof-ups that should have shamed us out of blogging altogether. But we’re shameless. You already knew that.

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RMNB

Grab a chair, pour a ginger ale, and put some soft jazz on the hifi. We’re about to take a leisurely ride through the world of RMNB 2011. Today we’ll be looking at the good stuff today, and the really awful stuff we’ll see on Friday.

In 2011 we published more than 470 articles that more than doubled (206%) our traffic from 2010. Our readers (i.e. you) stay longer on our site, view more articles (102.5%), leave more comments (119%), and correct our grammar more than ever before. We climbed above 5k followers on Twitter (mostly spam bots), and we are now flirting with 6k. We’ve got around 3600 people liking us on Facebook, most of whom are just trying to win the swag Ian gives away every game. We started a tumblelog, where almost 500 people follow our silly pictures and quotes and other stuff that doesn’t fit on the main site. We’re working on a pinterest page, as soon as we figure out what that is.

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Download and Print the FOUND: BEAGLE Sign

Based on reports from this morning’s practice, Jay Beagle is back in action. After missing 31 games following a fight with Pittsburgh’s Arron Asham, Beagle is suiting up to play tonight versus the New York Rangers. It’ll be his first game since October 13th, just in time for HBO 24/7 too.

To celebrate Beagle’s return to active duty, here are some printable posters!

The mondo link below will download a PDF, which fits an 8.5″ x 11″ page perfectly. Download the file and print a few billion of these to pass out to everyone you see at Verizon Center. Let Jay know you’re glad he’s healthy and ready to play like the scrappy little pup he is!

DOWNLOAD THE FOUND: BEAGLE SIGN

Sasha Cares so Much… He Became a Care Bear

When I’m not illustrating, I sew things! Lots of my sewing work is costuming, but I sometimes make “normal” clothing and– most recently– plushies.

After I drew the design for the Alexander Semin “Sasha Cares” t-shirt, my mother gave me an excellent idea: “Why don’t you sew a real one?”

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A Timeline of Alex Ovechkin’s Summer

A photo essay.

The Capitals booting from the Stanley Cup Playoffs in early May once again got the summer off to a premature start for the boys in red and their fearless leader. After all, peak season hadn’t even begun on the Vineyard and the lakes remained chilly in the White Mountains. But we RMNB chose not to focus on these grave hardships. No, instead we’re going to fire up the Google Machine and take a look back at Ovi’s summer, which spanned a mere 121 days. Alexander embarked on many adventures including a little shirtless soccer (and what summer is complete without that), a scandal involving his midsection that had “gate” on the end for some ridiculous reason, and commercials for Canadian candy bars, which are like regular candy bars except Canadian.

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