Jason Chimera’s Grotesquely Broken Nose

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Washington Capitals forward Jason Chimera went for a big offensive zone hit on Detroit Red Wings defenseman Brendan Smith. Smith however, noticed the hard-charging Chimera coming and leaned into him with his shoulder. Chimmer fell over hard, then made his way to the bench.

When NBCSN cameras caught him with trainer Greg Smith, we were met with the most brokenest nose in the history of broken noses.

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Photo: @RegressedPDO

Over the offeseason, the Washington Capitals backed up a Brinks truck to Brooks Oprik’s driveway because of his physical game. So far this season, Orpik has delivered. On opening night, CSN Washington called the former Penguin the player of the game for all his big body checks. And Saturday night in Calgary, Orpik went on a hitting bonanza.

Orpik led all skaters with 10 hits. Late in the second period, the Caps defenseman made professional hockey player Josh Jooris wish he were a Mexico City sewer diver instead.

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Alex Ovechkin Accidentally Checks Official (GIF)

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Screenshot by @myregularface

Washington Capitals captain Alex Ovechkin is a league leader in hits. He got his physical game going early on Saturday night. Eighteen seconds into the contest, he levied his first body check, but it wasn’t against a Flames player. It was on the referee.

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For three seasons, Matt Hendricks gave his heart and soul to the Washington Capitals. There were big hits, paralyzing shootout goals, and fights. Lots and lots of fights. When Hendricks’ contract ran out in 2013, he signed a new one, a large one, with Nashville– then bounced around until he found a home in Edmonton.

On Wednesday, in what was the weirdest moment of the night so far, Hendricks checked two (2!) guys at the same time, Michael Latta and an Edmonton teammate. Hendricks was then forced to drop the gloves with first-year Caps forward Liam O’Brien.

Perhaps an awkward moment for Caps fans?

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Alex Ovechkin Crushing Dudes (GIFs)

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Photo: Geoff Burke

This offseason felt particularly long, so I smiled extra wide on Thursday as I watched Alex Ovechkin crush Montreal Canadiens left and right. While Ovechkin didn’t score in the shootout loss, he did finish the night with six hits, tied with Brooks Orpik for the most among all skaters.

My favorite hit was Ovechkin leveling left wing Jiri Sekac. The Czech was playing in just his second career NHL game. This had to hurt.

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Photo: Geoff Burke

Over the offseason, Brooks Orpik signed what many thought to be the worst contract of free agency– a five-year, $27 million deal that ends when he’s approximately 84. After months of kind of bummer analysis (even from us), the former Penguin jumped on the ice tonight for the first time as a Capital and he was noticeable– in a lot of different ways.

First, let’s see the hits because you guys want to see the hits.

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Last season, Washington Capitals defense prospect Nate Schmidt had his year ended early after suffering a knee injury on a low-bridge hit by Norfolk Admirals defenseman Garnet Exelby.

Playing Montreal on Sunday, Schmidt narrowly missed a head injury after getting elbowed in the noggin by Jarred Tinordi, son of former Capital, Mark Tinordi.

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Nathan Walker’s Incredible Hip Check (GIF)

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Photo: Alex Brandon

I was working on my new patio on Sunday night, so I missed the entire Washington Capitals/Buffalo Sabres preseason game. Bummer, I know. Luckily for me, Steve Wilhite of CompuServe invented GIFs in the late 80s, so I didn’t to have to miss one of the greatest hip checks ever.

And I’m saying that last part seriously, without hyperbole.

Australian Nathan Walker is teeny-tiny. He’s a baby joey hanging out in his mama’s pouch. But when Walker knocked Vaclav Karabacek heels-over-head on Sunday night, his slight 5-foot-8 frame didn’t matter.

Look at this.

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Braden Holtby Falcon Punches Ryan Callahan (GIF)

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American hero Ryan Callahan is well known by Capitals fans and not for good reasons. When he captained the New York Rangers, his Rags beat our Caps twice. Despite what the national media likes to tell us, he’s not really the most honorable player.

That’s why it felt good to see Callahan fall like a sack of bricks to the ice after he got punched in the mush by Braden Holtby.

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Photo: Rob Carr

Now that the Washington Capitals will officially miss the playoffs for the first time in six years, this is a great time to focus more on the tendencies of this Adam Oates-led team. While a lot of positive stories have been written about the team’s revitalized power play and its Russian captain, there’s a lot of reasons why we think Oates may be holding this team back from bigger and better things. Like, here’s twenty of them.

Then there’s the whole issue of the Caps sometimes looking like a beer-league team on the ice. Over the last few weeks, Caps players have violently collided into each other three times. Three. Times. And in two straight games.

Because this seems to be more like a pattern than a series of freak events, I collected GIFs and video of all the times it’s happened during Oates’ tenure. It’s happened… a lot.

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