We asked you, deranged and lovely readers of RMNB, to congratulate our hero Alex Ovechkin on his 27th year of life. You had to make a birthday card. The only rule was that you had to use a cheap graphic editor to make it.

What we didn’t tell you is that we don’t have to follow the same rules. Above is our card for Ovi, via RMNB resident artist Rachel Cohen. Meanwhile, you guys knocked this assignment out of the park. Like Josh Morgan, you threw a football into the face of your limitations and blazed new trails of Art with a capital A. Cruise on down past the jump to check out the gallery. And make sure to vote for your favorite on our Facebook fan page at 10am this morning.

Abbie’s family sent us in this video of their adorable daughter playing hockey. Abbie wishes Ovi (and Brooks Laich?) a happy birthday from Langley Air Force Base. She even scores a goal. Though Abbie, where’s the belly pat celebration after you score? Also, what’s your t-shirt size? We want to send you a shirt.

Joanne reveals that Ovi lied when he told Mike Vogel that he was going back home to Russia for his birthday. He actually flew to Mars to make party with the Mars Rover.

Here Diana, Hedda, and Rosannah illustrate how Ovi’s birthday would go if he would have stayed in DC this year. Tennis birthday!!!!! best!!)))))

@HockeyHourly‘s Geoff T. illegally dug through some mailboxes and found Gary Bettman’s birthday card for Ovechkin.

hahahahaha fire. Via some guy named Ian O.

Ashley B draws the Russian machine daydreaming about his favorite healthy snack.

Some guy named Peter H. used his iPad to make this gem. I’m not really sure what’s going on here: there’s a giant two-legged dog with a pink field hockey stick and clown make-up on, a moon with sun glasses, stars, and a Russian hat. [Ed note: Yep. You nailed it. -P]

Well, at least Lord Stanley Alexander the Eight won’t be locked out all day. Via Lisa M.

Wow. Ovi’s hair grew back really fast. Nice headband! Via Hockeyshopped’s Brendan Sheridan.

@BatmanEatsBabies offers some diet tips to the Russian machine during his big day.

The lovely and talented Justine K did this fantastic painting of Ovi for his birthday. Way to go!

Misty’s 7-year-old son Cooper is already growing his facial hair for this year’s playoffs, if there even are playoffs this year.

Elizabeth H cutely draws The Great Eight’s signature smile.

If there were actually hockey, this would be how the eights on Ovi’s jersey would be decorated. Via Perri M.

It’s not just Ovechkin’s birthday, it’s also Quentin R’s. From all of us here at RMNB, Happy Birthday, dude!

Miranda shows that Ovi’s decision to go home to Russia this year to celebrate his birthday wasn’t that hard of a decision after all.

Tim presents Ovi’s new celebration: The ‘Hot Cake.’

Here’s Brooke’s hand drawn card for Ovechkin.

We love Danielle S.’s card. Though she forgot to mention Ovi’s also the world’s great rapper too!

Jessie N shows us that three Ovechtricks equals 27. Awesome.

Finally, we share Mahesh P’s tradition. Every year when it’s Ovi’s birthday, he has a hockey-themed birthday cake made and his family eats it on the Russian machine’s birthday. These are the types of people I want to be friends with.

REMINDER: Make sure to vote for your favorite card on our Facebook fan page at 10am.

We set out a task, faithful users of the Russian Machine, to create birthday cards worthy of our gut-less (wait, did that sound bad?) leader. The only rules: use an inferior graphics program to make it.

What we avoided telling you again this year was that we didn’t have to follow the same rules. Above, is our Penguin-Pinata card for Ovi via RMNB illustrator, Rachel Cohen.

Meanwhile, you guys rocked this assignment harder than a Bruce Boudreau fitness test. Unfortunately, only one of you could win our grand prize: a RMNB t-shirt and a Mr. Big Bar. Cruise on past the jump to check out the gallery.

First, we start with the people who didn’t follow directions.

First, Alice A. sends us “The Ovi Dance,” as performed by Phillip — whom we’re going to assume is her kid (no clarification in the email). The editing: profound and superb. How about this? Alice, send us your address and we’ll mail your son over a Mr. Big Bar. Well, just as long as you promise to take video of  him dancing after he eats it.

Jenna M. tweeted us a cake. For what this lacks in pretty pictures it makes up for in high fructose corn syrup!

To the actual cards! Reader Justine K. flipped the script on a “In Soviet Russia” joke. The illustration of Ovechkin: tremendous. The cutting out of the illustration: not so much.

Not sure why Alex Semin and Bon Jovi have jetpacks here, but it sure makes me laugh. Via the demented mind of Brendan S!

Reader Sarah pokes a little fun at Ovi’s ways of communicating online.

Lisa A. too!

Someone tell Alex N. that you need to keep the cup at least an arms length away from your favorite team’s superstars or you’ll jinx them to hell like we did in the playoffs.

Reader Hosannah, confounded like everyone else by Ovi’s pants on pants combination, let’s Ovi know we still love him.

Via holidayblues.tumblr.com, here’s Ovi’s detached head in a box. Weird. My favorite part of this graphic is the dots around the text. Really gives it a professional look.

Here’s another one from our buddy, Alex N., who took out the colored pencils for this masterpiece!

We hope all your wishes come true too, Ovi (but don’t eat too much pizza)! Via Reader Miranda K.

Sasha O. sent us this card via twi… Hey, wait a minute. How did this get in here?

Also via Reader Miranda K.

LuAyne B. helps Snoop Dogg pass along his well wishes! Fantastic.

When I first saw this card, I couldn’t stop laughing. Who knew Ovi looked so much like Chewy when he put on that hat and burka in Dagestan. Great work, Brendan S.!

Defending birthday card champion Stephanie C. makes it rain nachos.

Just like Anastasia and her grandmother were united “Together in Paris” in the film, we hope on the year of his 26th brirthday that Ovie and Lord Stanley can find themselves united “Together in Washington.” Congrats, Rachel C. You’re our grand prize winner. Shoot us an email!

We asked you, the noble hordes of the Russian Machine, to congratulate our hero Alex Ovechkin on his 25th year of life.  You had to make a birthday card.  The only rule was that you had to use a cheap graphic editor to make it.

What we didn’t tell you was that we didn’t have to follow the same rules. Above, is our card for Ovi via new RMNB illustrator, Rachel Cohen. Welcome to the team!

Meanwhile, you guys knocked this assignment out of the park.  Like Shakespeare unto the sonnet, you transcended the limitations of the form and blazed new trails of Art with a capital A. Sad we are that only one of you shall win the grand prize.  Cruise on down past the jump to check out the gallery.

Lindsay N., clearly inspired by this piece of crap drawing, decided to go the sheep route. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. And for that, we thank you @lindsaynotlohan.

Lucy Brown, writer of one our favorite Caps blogs Hockey is my Boyfriend, created Ovie’s name out of some of his favorite things. I love the creativity here.

Kristen M. shows us that Ovi and the Red Power Ranger have an awful lot in common. Who knew?

Using nothing but logo trickery, I Rock The Red, created a mutant, double-headed Weagle which hints at Ovi’s Russian heritage.

Brandon B., wins the award for brightest colors on a birthday card. That pterodactyl is a nice touch!

Sara Bae’s back, and I have no idea what’s going on here. Why’s Semin in jail?? When did he get red hair?

Great job, Melissa!

Snovechkin, is that you?? Stop melting yourself!!! Well done, Forrest S.

Isabelle P-Taylor gets the award for most pain-staking detail in her card. I love the blush on Ovi’s face. On a side note, Hockey-playing girls from the UK are awesome.

In this illustration, we find Ovi in someone’s backyard after a trip to Medieval Times. Samantha G., be proud, you also win the award for being the most blunt! Love. it.

Our comrade, Tuvan Hillbilly of Japers Rink, killed it on this one. OH man.

Jun Arakaki, of the Marine Corps Community Services in Okinawa, sent us this incredible card. Unbelievable. We’re so honored to have a reader out there!! Jun, if spreadshirt ships out to where you are, you get a t-shirt. Send us your address, t-shirt of choice and size.

Mcawful submitted this lovely ditty. And surprisingly, she was the only person to allude to or illustrate ripped jeans. We will admit however that we can’t stop laughing at the sleepover illustration where Nicky looks so incredibly excited and Semin is smoking. What a great touch!

And finally, our grand prize winner, courtesy of Stephanie C:

Look at the unfettered joy on his face, the nachos in tow, and the ensemble that defies description.  Congratulations, Stephanie. And congratulations, Alexander Ovechkin, on reaching your silver year.  I’ve got a feeling there’s a big-ass silver cup in your future.