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Photos by Chris Gordon

Early Monday, the Washington Capitals announced that they had promoted Ross Mahoney, who has been the Caps’ director of amateur scouting for the past 16 seasons, to the vacant assistant general manager position.

At 1pm, Caps GM Brian MacLellan held a conference call with reporters to talk about Mahoney’s promotion, but the discussion quickly turned to everything else.

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Brooks Laich: 2013-14 Season Review

Brooks Laich suffered a groin injury during the 2013 lockout that has changed the trajectory of his career.  The former 20-goal scorer now struggles to play a full schedule and struggles to justify his 4.5 million dollar cap hit. After an operation this spring, there are now two futures waiting for Laich: a return to glory is one. The path of Tom Poti is the other.

By the Numbers

51 Games played
16.9 Average time on ice per game
8 Goals
7 Assists
48.0% Shot attempt percentage during 5v5
45.5% Goal percentage during 5v5
7.6% On-ice shooting percentage during 5v5
92.5% On-ice saving percentage during 5v5

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Photo: Chris Gordon

On Monday, the Washington Capitals held Breakdown Day at Kettler Capitals Iceplex. For two hours, Caps players filed out of the locker room and conducted exit interviews with the media. Because of the whole no playoffs thing, there were a lot of long faces.

There’s about three hours of interview video to surf though on Monumental Network. Because I hate myself and care only about you, dear reader, I’ve transcribed all the key quotes. And because this is RMNB, I also pointed out the fashion choices. Sadly, there was no crazy hair this year.

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Off to the Golf Course: Caps Breakdown Day in Photos

Breakdown Day (6 of 12)

NHL plus-minus spokesman and hair model Alex Ovechkin speaks for the final time this year. (Photos by Chris Gordon)

Monday was an odd day at Kettler Capitals Iceplex. We entered the day expecting to Adam Oates and George McPhee shed some light of their respective fates — or at least try to defend their time here.

Instead, we got an awkward stand-off with reporters. Within minutes of a spokesman announcing that McPhee would not be meeting the media, the general manager walked out to an area clearly visible to reporters. He chose to hold court with Connor Carrick in front of the entire Capitals press corps before reiterating that he would not speak today.

McPhee’s job — if he doesn’t leave of his own volition — is now in the hands Caps owner Ted Leonsis, who has never fired a general manager.

There were, however, other things that happened at Kettler on Monday: Jay Beagle got asked what he thought of Jay Beagle centering Alex Ovechkin, Dustin Penner ignored reporters to play with his phone, and Brooks Laich said that he really, really, really believes he’s healthy again.

Below, take a look at some of my photos from the day.

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This could not come at a better time. Once and future Caps forward Brooks Laich starred in a segment with Cabbie Richards of TSN called “Five Things Every Man Should Know.” Guest-starring Dustin Penner and Evgeny Kuznetsov– as girls, the video teaches you (not me) everything you (not me) need to know about how to be a manly man.

Brooks guides us (you mostly) through the vagaries of manly tasks we (you) so often get wrong. It’s indispensable viewing: instructive, entertaining, has nothing to do with the Caps’ season, and features D.P. and Kuzya as girls.

Enjoy.

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Julianne Hough has been busy lately. She has announced that she will be doing a dance tour around the nation with her brother Derek. She also will be returning to Dancing With The Stars as a guest judge in two weeks.

We do not care about that. We care about Hough watching the Caps play at Verizon Center on Tuesday night (well, maybe we care; I guess this is debatable). I assume she was there to support her injured boyfriend, Brooks Laich, who recently went under the knife to repair his injured groin.

Here’s a treat: everybody’s favorite paparazzo Homer McFanboy posted this photo of Hough on the concourse, which was taken by an anonymous friend.

Here you see Julianne smiling with friends and— HEY, wait a minute. What is in her hands?

COMPUTER: ENHANCE QUADRANT PICARD LAMBDA.

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I live in Frederick and work in Columbia, Maryland. That’s a 100-mile round trip every day. When I drove home from work on Monday night, my front left tire blew out as I entered the city. I coasted to the nearest Roy Rogers I could find, buried my sorrows under a starchy mound of Gold Rush Chicken sandwiches, and instagram’d a photo of my blown tire.

And I was barraged by Brooks Laich jokes.

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Brooks Laich Got Groin Surgery, Shut Down For Season

Photo: Chris Gordon

The Washington Capitals have announced that Brooks Laich has undergone surgery to alleviate his ongoing groin problems. His recovery is expected to take 4-6 weeks, effectively ending his 2013-14 season.

Laich’s injury has been nagging for over two years, costing him most of last season and portions of this one. Last week, Laich met with groin specialist Michael Brunt in St. Louis.

He did not travel with the team to California.

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Gambling with Play Money: Caps Casino Night in Photos

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Yep. (Photos by Chris Gordon)

Wednesday night, the Washington Capitals held their fourth annual Casino Night at the Pentagon City Sheraton. Fans had the opportunity blow fake money gambling with their favorite players, as well as dishing out real money on a live auction featuring big-ticket experiences, a silent auction on equipment and memorabilia, and a raffle. The money made from Casino Night will benefit the Monumental Sports & Entertainment Foundation. The team has raised nearly $1 million on past Casino Nights, and the live auction this year took in over $40,000.

“We did a got of research on craps,” Karl Alzner, who was there with his wife Mandy as well as her mom and grandparents, told me. “The correct throw and the technique and all that.”

“Even though it’s play money it’s still a lot of fun,” Alzner added. “We get to dress up.”

When I talked to Tom Wilson about the night, he had one main takeaway.

“Ovi’s pretty risky,” Wilson said.

Below, take a look at some of my photos from the night.

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After going 115 minutes and 43 seconds without scoring a goal, the Washington Capitals scored twice in 32 seconds. The dam had broken. It was weird.

When Brooks Laich scored to tie the game at two, he unleashed the best celebration on the ice and in the stands that Hogwarts has seen these many years.

It’s like we all forgot how to celebrate, and then they taught us how to smile again.

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