Puck Buddy Doug Johnson writes for RMNB. Follow @PuckBuddys unless you’re Sean Avery.

The Pre Game: I’m going to let you in on a secret. We people of the prairie have known it for decades, but as a group we tend to be Scandinavian, and so tight-lipped. We only pass it down– whispered– when there’s no other choice; as on those nights the wind shakes the windows and hope seems to extinguish in the pit of a cold, dead emptiness. And here it is: there is no darker, stranger place on this Earth than Winnipeg. It’s Canada’s sooty heart of darkness… and now, thanks to the NHL, we have to spend a night there.

You can spend a lifetime overnight in Winnipeg.

The Puck Drop

Oh, I know what you’re thinking. “But it’s Canada! How scary can that be?” Here’s how creepy: David Lynch won’t even go there. That’s how creepy Winnipeg is. Built at the base of a floodplain that sinks in summer and concentrates the winds into an arctic vortex each winter, Winnipeg is a place that sensible cultures would just abandon. Admit their mistake, move on, and leave it to future anthropologists to try and make sense of the debris: curling, BTO, and Guy Maddin.

Sure, some have escaped. Cody Eakin and Eric the Fehr among the more adorables. But let me ask you this: do you know anyone who’s been to Winnipeg? Didn’t they come back…changed?

Drama aside, perhaps our Caps could use a little change. Maybe get a little creeped out. Fight a little harder to survive. Get freaking pucks to the net. You know, that sort of thing.

What Makes Them Hot

Evander Kane

#1: Fly-in. So the Jets have just landed this season from Atlanta, a place that shares nothing with Winnipeg except, perhaps, its smell. Look, save for some call-ups, the Jets are basically the Thrashers, but with less Coke and more coney dogs. OK, I kid…but neither team dazzled – the Thrashers the last several seasons, or the Jets so far this one. Ordinarily this would be a ‘Not’ more than ‘Hot’; but here’s the rub: hockey was as welcome in Atlanta as an anthrax attack on Olympic Park. Residents never took to the team, nor the team to the ice. It’s different now – and while fan support is clearly an intangible, any team worth their paychecks will play harder before an audience that really, really wants to see them. That’s new for the Thra-Jets, and game by game they just might start to respond. Remember, also, that the Jets are doing better at home so far than then Caps are on the road. Call me crazy, but this team might bite.

Jim Slater and Mark Flood

#2: Individuals. Nik Antropov (3-9-12), Kyle Wellwood (5-6-11), and Dustin Byfuglien (3-8-11); all these guys are performing at least as well as a dozen or more Caps (Sasha?) Sharp-shooters Jim Slater (5-1-6) and Evander Kane (6-5-11) both have five goals in about twice as many games. But I’m seeing less smart team play and more individual action. It’s like a bad stew: there hasn’t been enough time or attention for the flavors (players) to come together and play getting-to-know-you. But hot-shot players (SASHA?) still count for something: if the coaching squad can get it together, they might have a fine meal on hand.

#3: Trap Crap. Several of the teams the Jets have played lately, like the Bolts, are trap teams. The Caps are not. The Jets, with the exception of that last game, don’t do well with quick, fast play that unsprings the trap. Believe it or not, they might just have the right style in meeting the Caps.

What Makes Them Not

Ondrej Pavelec mysteriously collapsed during a game with the Caps last year. He’s fine now!

#1: It’s a Net Thing. Ooof. Neither Ondrej Pavelec (.895%) nor Chris Mason (.893%) are doing much in the net for Winnipeg this year. They’re sort of a mix, all over the place. That means pucks are landing all over the place, too. Caps have the upper hand here – unlike with Pekka Rinne. Which sounds like something I put on my pasta. And Ondrej Pavelec? Didn’t I order that for dessert in Paris? *lesigh*

#2: Faster Penalty Kill! Kill!: The Jets are simply sucking at PKs at 79%. Granted, the Caps aren’t much better at 83%, and unfortunately as we’ve seen a better motivated team can bend those stats and capitalize where data says they shouldn’t. The Jets aren’t quite stinking on PP (16%) so much as they’re middle of the road. Caps, again, may drive the car here (at 20%), but these numbers are not far apart enough to give me comfort.

#3: Enough: I’ve prattled on long enough without pointing to the obvious: the Jets are a middling team. On paper they should not defeat the Caps. Then again, if it were all just paper, we’d never race horses.

The OT

In closing I’m going to be uncharacteristically nice… in part because my contract with RMNB specifies I have to do so. But this one I mean: has anyone noticed the players on the Jets? I mean really, it’s a more diverse line-up of guys than I’ve seen in…well, just about ever. Even more so than may pans of the Caps fans benches. It may not change their play, but it’s one of the few nice things I can say about Winnipeg these days. Like the look of your lineups, Jets!

Your Sudden-Death Shoot Out

Ladies and gentlemen: I give you Winnipeg.

“Can you believe we won this???” (Photo credit: Greg Fiume)

Boulton and Erskine beat the tar out of one another. (Photo credit: Mitchell Layton)

This third meeting of the Washington Capitals and Atlanta Thrashers was not overshadowed by injury like the season-opener was by Ondrej Pavelec‘s collapse. Instead, we were treated to a cavalcade of slapstick puckery. The puck had a mind of its own tonight, and the game’s three goalies were none too happy about it.

Alex Ovechkin opened it up early with a lucky bounce knocked in by goalie Chris Mason. Mason had already bobbled an earlier shot; this one he knocked in all by himself. Mike Green piled on with a mustache-fueled power play goal hooked up by Eric Fehr and Mike Knuble. Atlanta’s Rich Peverly turned in what was either a world-class goal or a total fluke (we vote the latter). Tyler Sloan dove in front of a shot to lead to a turnover and breakaway for Alex Ovechkin. Ovie’s pass enabled Alex Semin to score a dazzling deke-and-goal that should humble the authors of the All-Star game ballot.

Like an out-of-control garbage truck full of terminally ill kittens, the second period brought destruction and woe to all in its path (i.e. the Capitals). Andrew Ladd scored one and Bryan Little scored two, the last of which was a shorthanded breakaway furnished by the careless puck control of our very own Russian Machine.

The third period languished on for 13 minutes before John Erskine– yes, that John Erskine– rocketed the game winner past relief goalie Ondrej Pavelec. Then David Steckel found the empty net as Capitals players are so eager to do.

Phew, that was exhausting. Caps beat Thrashers 6-4.

Conserve your bullets for the coming zombie apocalypse

• John Erskine: one assist away from a Gordie Howe. John Erskine: clashing titan with lightning-fast fists of concrete and clay. John Erskine: moustachio’d man’s man to whom Alan May is now erecting a statue. Big John: you were excellent tonight; we salute you!

• Here’s a bullet dedicated to John Erskine’s cataclysmic battle royale with Eric “Michael” Boulton. After a sustained exchange of heavy hooks, John shoved Eric into the boards and breathed his musky breath on Boulton as the linesmen pounced on them. Epic stuff by both warriors.
• Alex Ovechkin doesn’t get any such gushing congratulations. His assist on Semin’s goal was vintage Ovi and his first goal a happy accident, but that’s about it. His puck control was insufficient, and his cough-up to the Thrashers on that second-period power play was the low point of the night.
• That second period was awful, awful, awful. Unlike last night’s offensive absenteeism, this disaster period was plagued by bad turnovers and unlucky bounces. Why must the Capitals face a messy period like this once every game?
• Coach Bruce Boudreau is probably just as upset as we are. In reaction he favored his grinders: Steckel, Bradley, Hendricks. Each of those guys floated around 14-15 minutes of ice time tonight, while the top line stayed south of 20 minutes each.
• How smart was it to play those checking lines? Considering the dismal performances from Ovechkin and Backstrom (both minus-4 Corsi), pretty darn smart.
• Instead of 8 and 19, it was Mike Green and Jeff Schultz who had offensive gumption. Each had plus-7 even-strength scoring-chance differentials. Each was on ice for 11 Caps’ chances for at 5v5, season highs for any Caps skater. Objectively, the Caps defense is not outperforming the offense.
• Heartfelt sympathies go out to the goalies on both teams. Some prankster must have coated the pucks in flubber before the game. Demerits are in order. It’s ridiculous of us to expect Michal Neuvirth to stop a puck that crawls up his chest and hops off his helmet on the way to the net. You’ll get it back, Mikey. No harm, no foul.

Wow. Does this win the record for longest RMNB recap or what?

Think about it this way: The Capitals played two uneven and clumsy games of hockey this weekend and still took away three points. It could quite easily have been none. The Caps keep snatching points in this still-early season, and they keep learning different ways to lose hockey games without actually losing. So there’s that.

Post script: We totally blew it. Can anyone hook us up with a picture of Joe Beninati in his (birthday) suit? Much appreciated.

Additional reporting by Neil Greenberg.

Ovechkin (9 hits) may not have scored, but the Trashers certainly felt his presence. (Photo credit: Nick Wass)

The hat-tricker and the catalyst celebrate their line’s third goal of the night. (Photo credit: Nick Wass)

As the Capitals entered tonight’s game against the Atlanta Thrashers, everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. Semyon Varlamov could not make his scheduled start due to a flame-up of his #brittlegroin. Caps regulars Boyd Gordon (rest) and Marcus Johansson (hip flexor) could not dress due to nagging pains. And Tom Poti was a late scratch with an undisclosed injury.

The Caps, who had just lost two straight games to the Boston Bruins rather unimpressively, were forced to go with a patch-work lineup which included minor league call-ups Mathieu Perreault, Jay Beagle, & Dany Sabourin as well as a not-at-full-strength Mike Green.

When the puck dropped and the first period came to a close, the Capitals resembled the same struggling team that had lost Tuesday and Thursday. They were down 1-0 and the Thrashers outshot them 13-4..

Things quickly got rectified in the Caps lockerroom, however. “Kanoobs had a little speech,” Michal Neuvirth explained post-game. “[After his talk] we were getting better every minute. …We dominated in the third period. He just wasn’t happy with our effort. …We’re getting outshot on home ice. It just can’t happen.”

The Capitals then came out and outshot Atlanta 40 to 14 the rest of the game. Riding an Alex Semin natural hat trick, two assists from fan-favorite Mathieu Perreault, and a clutch backhand gwg from Flash, the Caps trash the Thrash in OT, 4-3.

To the bullets!

• Despite mounting injury, roster, power play, and systems problems, the Capitals proved tonight that they had the passion to win at all costs. That’s all that we and a rowdy, sold-out Verizon Center crowd could have asked for tonight.

Crucial keep: Mike Green dives head first to keep the puck inside the zone during a Caps powerplay. (Photo credit: Mitchell Layton)

• For the first thirty minutes of the game, Mike Green had the best seat in the house: the Capitals bench. Why? Due to his nagging shoulder injury, Caps brass only deemed him only okay to skate on the power play. When Green finally got his first shift of the game midway through the second period, he played with flair, beauty, and a reckless abandon. He had several crucial keeps in the zone (including one where he dove head-first at the blue line), and scored – what turned out to be a disallowed goal for kicking it in – after the team’s first powerplay.
• Alex Ovechkin was a raging bull tonight. Ovi had nine hits – one of which could have easily counted as 3 or 4. To top that, the Russian Machine also sent Andrew Ladd head over heels into the Thrashers bench during the third period.

• We feel bad for Thrashers goalie, Chris Mason. It was only a matter of time before Alex Semin broke out. And tonight, the young Thrashers goalie got inSEMINated. Semin’s first goal, you know, the one in which he dented the twine and deafened the crowd with a loud PIIINNNNNNNGGGGG, was a heads up play. Sasha intercepted an errant clear by Mason and immediately fired the puck to the top left corner of the net. What a beauty! The next two however were all due to Matty P.
• Perreault was possibly the most consistent player of the night. Semin’s second goal came after Perreault found a hole in the offensive zone and went in alone on semi-breakaway. Semin’s hat-trick goal came on a sick cross-ice pass from Perry. Please Bruce, let Perreault stay in DC. He can crash at my place.
• Coach Boudreau was asked after the game if Perreault’s performance earned him an extended look: “Semin had two goals this year, and [Perreault] comes in tonight, and he gets three. He did a lot of good things. You know, it’s the great thing about having depth. On the other hand, the best game Marcus played was the last game too. And Fleisch got the OT winner. And Stecks won every face-off down the stretch. And Nicky’s Nicky. I think if we put Nicky on waivers, somebody will claim him. It’s tough decisions.” Sigh.
• Sure, Flash got the OTGWG tonight and that was awesome. He also went 2 for 8 in the face-off dot, had two shots, and finished with only 10 minutes of ice time.
• Neil’s notes: MP85 was on the ice for 7 scoring chances for, and ZERO against tonight. The best MJ90 has been is +2 and he has been -4 twice… Only 5 shifts for Ovi over 1 min and only two of those over 2 min. And the Caps won. Weird… Chimera got no offensive zone starts at 5v5 in the BOS game and that continued until the very end of the 2nd vs. ATL, making it 13 straight without an offensive zone start. On the flip side Sloan has started in the offensive zone 63.6% of the time and for some reason was leading head-to-head time on ice against Evander Kane. Guess who got the better of that deal in this Bizarro world? Plus, unless you’re a blueliner whose name rhymes with Bike Cream you should be under 55%… I am no fan of Erskine but he has played OK despite being bogged down in the defensive zone. After his defense of Neuvy tonight I am willing to give him and his -10 scoring chance differential the night off.

Joe B.'s suit of the night

Maybe after tonight, it’s time for us to think this team still has it. Maybe we’ve all been spazzing out a bit too much. Maybe we’ve all gone over the deep end. The Capitals lose two straight games against a respectable team and we all panic. Maybe after last year, we’re spoiled.

The Capitals are off until Wednesday when they travel down to RBC Center and take on the Carolina Hurricanes. At that point, the Caps should have many of their injured soldiers back including Boyd Gordon, Tom Poti, and MG52 at 100%. Hopefully, tonight’s game will be the catalyst to more consistent Caps’ efforts. And hopefully, it’ll mark the end of Mathieu Perreault’s AHL career. At least for the immediate future.