Welcome back, fans of actual hockey games. The grotesque obscenity of All-Star weekend is now behind us, so we can focus on — well, I sorta forget.
Jog my memory. The team we follow is the Capitals, yeah?. The other guys are the Blue Jackets, and I can’t remember if they’re good or not. Let’s say yes since the Oilers were awful and somehow won anyway.
Tonight the Capitals (or ‘Tals as they’re called among youths) will perform a hockey match at the Blue Jackets’ home base field. The puck will be tipped at 7 PM on the CSN channel with Joe Bonaducci and his collection of interesting hats.
The Caps still haven’t lost in #rego since December 2nd, so it’s important to not be a cranky grinch when they lose games in the 20th round of the shootout or make harebrained lineup decisions. We’ve had both of those things this week.
Washington will be hosted to a night of dating, discussion, and more by the Columbus Blue Jackets. Starting at 7 PM and airing on CSN, the Caps intend to keep their point-streak alive.
It’s been over a month since the bellicose winger got promoted to top line duty. He was in full bloom on Thursday, agitating the Blue Jackets all night. His premiere moment of belligerence came midway through the second period when Wilson goaded James Wisniewski into taking four minutes of penalty time for attempting to disfigure Wilson’s face.
Wisniewski’s assault failed, his stick snapping upon contact with Wilson’s chin.
On December 11, 2014, In Game Recap, By Peter Hassett
This is what the Caps’ other goalie looks like. In case you forgot. (Photo: Patrick McDermott)
I don’t know what I was expecting from Thursday’s Caps-Blue Jackets game, but it wasn’t this. I didn’t expect the glut of special teams and an explosive start for the home team. The pair of goalie interference calls were the Spanish Inquisition of penalties. And while I guess I saw the Caps’ offensive doldrum coming, I didn’t expect that depressing finish. This was a weird one– and it was not particularly pretty.
A little over three minutes in, John Carlson released a point shot at the tail end of a 5v3. Eric Fehr tipped that in, though we think Alex Ovechkin might have had a piece of it. The Caps dominated much of the period, but Nick Foligno tied it up with a giftwrapped goal in the fifteenth minute. The second period went scoreless despite a four-minute power play for the Caps.
Troy Brouwer masterfully tipped in a wide cannon from Matt Niskanen midway through the third to put the Caps up, but Kevin Connauton got a weird shot from outside past Braden Holtby’s left flank to tie it just 99 seconds later. That’s how it looked at the end of rego.
Jason Chimera got sent to the Sasha box in overtime, where Nick Foligno ended it with a snazzy shot.
On December 11, 2014, In Pregame, By Peter Hassett
Fresh off a three-win road trip, the Washington Capitals have returned home… to spawn …and then to fight the Columbus Blue Jackets. At 7 PM at Verizon Center, the Caps will play host the the beat-up Blooj, the league’s most injured team by a mile.
If the Caps keep playing like they have been, they should be able to get their first four-game winning streak since April of 2013.
Since entering the NHL in 2000, the Columbus Blue Jackets have been a laughingstock. Sure, Rick Nash’s goal scoring gave them some respectability, and they had that weird playoff appearance in 2009, but it wasn’t until last week that I finally found respect for the franchise and its fans.
Midway through the third period of that awful game, I got a little confused when I looked at the background behind Sergei Bobrovsky. There I saw two NHL referees drinking beer in the front row. “What the hell,” I said to myself. “That’s so unprofessional.”
Then I saw them bang the glass after a big Bobrovsky save, and it occurred to to me that these guys weren’t actually scorekeepers or even referees. They were Blue Jackets fans. Clever, clever, awful Blue Jackets fans.
It’s f@$&ing freezing here and I didn’t eat dinner. My dog is being an @%^$*. A water main exploded up the street from me, so there’s a river of ice outside my door that has its frozen heart set on shredding my #brittlegroin. Everything sucks and so do you.
Here’s my recap of the Washington Capitals at the Columbus Blue Jackets. Read it at your peril.
The first-period Caps gave up a pair of shorthanded breakaways, the second of which resulted in a Columbus goal. Then Ryan Johansen escaped some decidedly dainty defense to make it 2-0. Brandon Dubinsky’s softy on Braden Holtby early in the second period made it 3-0, and Ryan Johansen got his second goal a little after that.
I drifted into rage blackouts and delirium, but I came to momentarily as Joel Ward got a shorty of his own halfway through the middle frame. Eric Fehr tricked one past Bobrovsky to make it 4-2 and somewhat interesting, but Cam Atkinson extinguished the rally with a quick-response goal.
To make matters worse, I’m drinking Coors Light, which is a beer in the same way John Erskine is a pro hockey player. Barely.
Tom Wilson nullified a Caps’ powerplay to make it four-on-four, and soon after that, John Carlson’s trip made it four-on-three for the Jackets. James Wisniewski made the Caps pay for that, and then Cam Atkinson made it 2-0 before the first intermission after Dmitry Orlov was unable to clear the crease.
Ryan Johansen scored for Lumbus early in the second, chasing Grubauer from net and bringing in fresh-faced Braden Holtby. With the help of Martin Erat and some traffic up front, John Carlson got a long puck past Bobrovsky at the halfway point. The Caps had a flicker of life.
Mark Letestu extinguished that flicker with a snazzy near-side goal early in the third. Then Cam Atkinson peed on the embers.
Blue Jackets beat Caps 5-1. The Caps have lost four games in a row. This beer tastes awful.