During the first Coach’s Corner segment of the season (now half as long! Thank you, Sportsnet), outspoken analyst and big Maple Leafs fan Don Cherry discussed the Leafs’ approach to drafting under the new regime. As always, it was hilarious, maybe even intentionally so.
Washington Capitals defenseman Steve Oleksy has been scratched for the last seven games. From the press box he watched dudes like Tyson Strachan and rookie Patrick Wey get jerseys instead of him. On Sunday, Oates gave Oleksy another chance as the Caps readied to play their second game in as many days.
Canadian icon/rambling old guy Don Cherry is in the news again and he hasn’t had the best week. Rogers bought the NHL’s Canadian television rights and journalists are speculating that Cherry’s role on TV could be limited in the future.
But the show must go on. Saturday night, Cherry taped another Coach’s Corner segment with Ron MacLean. Cherry addressed the Rogers situation while also spending 48 seconds oohing and ahhing about how Alex Ovechkin tapes up sticks. Yes, seriously. He wants Canadian kids to tape up their sticks just like Russian-born, three-time MVP. Did we mention Russian-born? Someone please check if Don is okay.
In the new age of sports media, if you’re a superstar who has not won a championship or somewhat improved your stats from the year before, you get branded an overpaid heel and get flogged furiously by big-name network TV analysts for not trying hard enough or being too dim to adjust your game. It’s hard to recall now, but there was once a time when Ilya Bryzgalov’s fascination with space was just a personality quirk from an elite goaltender.
The PuckBuddys have been memorably called the Russian mafia inside the Russian Machine. For the well-being of the operation, we’ve deliberately kept our pasts hidden. It’s been suggested that we’re former-Blackwater mercenaries, Watergate burglars or even Romney moles inside the Gingrich campaign (mission accomplished!) None of those are true, but we do admit to having relationships with some of the more subversive and extreme hockey organizations.
One such group is Capsonymous, a shadowy hive of anarchist Caps fans that operate off the grid, under the radar and over the top. Misunderstood by the mainstream hockey world, media and law enforcement, it’s been said that their methods are unsound. We judge them only by their record of mischievous achievements: the Crosby – vampire rumors, the Sabres’ implosion, Dustin Penner and Pancakegate, and getting Ryan Kesler to pose naked (again, mission accomplished.) Unofficially, on behalf of the home team, Capsonymous is responsible for DC winning the 2014 Winter Classic, convincing Ovi to skip the All Star Game, and getting Ted to blog and tweet about us.
Well, if Ovechkin doing the robot wasn’t funny enough, YouTube user ElevateYourLevel did us the favor of creating the greatest Music Video of all time from the footage. He brilliantly combined Ovechkin’s greatest goals with an autotuned Rachel Nichols and an electronica beat made out of the Ovechkin phrase “don’t celebration when you score goal.” Which leads me to believe, bad grammar + house beat = win everytime. ElevateYourLevel, consider my level elevated. Everyone else, please enjoy.