¡Bailamos! Caps beat Oilers 4-2

Greg Fiume

Sasha Fierce (Photo: Greg Fiume)

Shut up with your 1-4 record. When the Washington Capitals suited up to face the Edmonton Oilers on Monday night, their sole purpose was to rid themselves of the abysmal record they shared with a certain other Washington team. An explosive second period helped them do just that.

Edmonton’s Boyd Gordon scored first, seizing on a bad breakout by the Caps. After some feisty forechecking by the second line and Steve Oleksy on the blue, Brooks Laich scored his first of the year– a point-blank wrister.

The second period was a flurry of PPGs as Joel Ward knocked on the back door and Troy Brouwer got a one-timer from the slot. In the middle of that tasty man-advantage sandwich was a mean-ass slot goal from Alex Ovechkin.

Tough-acting Will Acton got a late one from the crease.

Convincing win.

Caps beat Oilers 4-2.

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Matching Sashas: Canes beat Caps 3-2

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Derpfaces akimbo (Photo: Patrick McDermott)

It has been a long, five days since the last Washington Capitals game. The world just feels different now, ya know? The temperature dropped 40 degrees for one thing. Alex Ovechkin surrendered the scoring lead to a tween for another. No matter: the Carolina Hurricanes came to town and we finally got our hockey back. If you were looking for an even-strength exhibition, whoops.

Jason Chimera scored– doesn’t matter how; he just did. Elias Lindholm scored the first goal of his career in the second, a weird one that bounced off of John Carlson’s skate.

Ugh, I hate weird goals.

Alex Ovechkin scored a weird goal by deflecting Steve Oleksy’s shot, introducing all kinds of brownian motion that Khudobin couldn’t savvy. Soon after that, Alex Semin tied the game by converting a 5-on-3 pretty much instantly.

The Capitals defense reasserted its crumminess in the third, as John Erskine (6’4″, 220 lbs.) was unable to box out Nathan Gerbe (basically Rudy from the movie Rudy).

Canes beat Caps 3-2.

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Caps Players Signed One of Those Awful Toasters

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Photo credit: Amanda H.

[Editor's note: When Washington Capitals fan Amanda H. went to the Caps Season Ticket Holder party at Six Flags last year, she had Martin Erat sign a photo of Filip Forsberg. This year, she one-upped herself. We'll let her explain.]

Martin Erat signs the toaster (Photo credit: Amanda H.)

Martin Erat signs the toaster (Photo credit: @Komissarov95)

I had debated for a few days what I should get signed at the season ticket holder party. I have a ton of Caps stuff, but nothing really stood out to me, until about twenty minutes before I had to leave. Long forgotten due to the poor toast it makes (No, seriously it’s very bad toast, I have yet to find a setting that toasts most of the bread without burning the other half), my Capitals toaster sat on a shelf, not having been used in months.

Images of walking around an amusement park carrying a toaster danced in my head. It was too amusing to turn down. I have a suspicion those events might be slightly tedious so I felt like this might spice things up. At the very least it’d give me something to say to the players instead of just awkwardly standing in silence. I cleaned it up a little and tested to make sure the sharpie would actually stick. It did!

When my friend Alyssa and I arrived in the parking lot, I had a moment of doubt. Am I really going to go get a toaster signed? Why didn’t I clean it thoroughly beforehand? I figured that either way, this would be a great story and probably worth the effort. I went through security and the bag check. The guy checking my bag thought my toaster was pretty cool.

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Photo credit: Oksana Zolotar

When the Washington Capitals traded Mathieu Perreault to the Anaheim Ducks on Sunday, we felt like a chapter in the Book of the Caps had come to a close: ridiculous, post-game celebrations.

We were wrong.

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Sorry Penguin. (Photo credit: @ZackkShapp)

[Editor's Note: Two years ago, we debuted a t-shirt parodying the Pittsburgh Penguins. Rachel Cohen did the illustration and Ian Oland turned it into a shirt. It has become one of our top sellers and even appeared on an episode of CRL. At the Caps Convention on Saturday, reader Zack S. endeavored to get his shirt signed by the entire Washington Capitals team. Zack was kind enough to summarize the players' reactions for us. If you want your own shirt, you can buy it here in our t-shirt store.]

My dad and I were given VIP tickets the night before the convention by a friend who worked for Verizon. I was running around trying to find something to have the players sign and I thought how funny it would be if we got the players to sign a Deadguins shirt.

If you have never seen the VIP room at Caps Convention, it’s just a bunch of tables with some sandwiches and drinks put out, and most of the players come by to eat lunch or just hang out there between appearances downstairs. It’s a really cool setup because some of the guys will actually sit down and talk to you.

Most of the players were confused at first when I asked them to sign the shirt, thinking that I was asking them to sign actual Pittsburgh Penguins regalia, but most of them laughed once I told them what it was.

Reactions ranged from, “HELL YES!” by Jason Chimera to Peter Bondra shaking his head and saying, “Aw, come on.”

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22 Days Out: Jason Chimera Will Be Better

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It varies from year to year, but the average shooting percentage in the NHL is somewhere just south of 9%. There’s a lot factored into that (like power plays and the gap between forwards and defenders), but it basically means one out of every eleven shots becomes a goal.

Unless you’re Jason Chimera. Chimera put 92 shots on goal last season and came up with just 3 goals. That’s a 3.3 shooting percentage. Normally, with that volume of shots (about 2 per game), a guy like Chimera would come up with about 8 goals — maybe 14-15 goals in an 82-game season. Although he’s never been an elite shooter, Chimera was absurdly unlucky last year. It won’t last.

The goals will come for Jason Chimera in 2013-14. Take it to #thebank.

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Allan Walsh, Jason Chimera, and Androgenic Alopecia

Allan Walsh and Jason Chimera

Allan Walsh, Octagon Hockey’s sports agent supreme, represents a whole bunch of NHL players, including our own grinding forward/ice cheetah Jason Chimera. Walsh, who spent six years prosecuting gang bangers before making the jump to hockey, is a bit of a bulldog on social media. Even before the 2012 lockout, Walsh had built a reputation of provocation and antagonism towards management, the league, and the press. On Thursday, Walsh showed his softer side, inviting everyone to a friendly Q&A on the #walshachat hashtag.

We wanted to ask him something smart, but it’s August.

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Welcome to the team. (Photo credit: Joel Auerbach)

TSN’s Darren Dreger reports that the Washington Capitals have signed former Florida Panthers defenseman Tyson Strachan to a one-year, two-way contract. The terms of the deal have not yet been disclosed. So far, this is the biggest signing the Caps have made since free agency opened Friday.

Strachan, who turned pro in 2006–07, has played 120 games in the NHL with both the Panthers and St. Louis Blues. Last season he played the entire year in Sunrise, tallying four points and racking up 40 penalty minutes. The right-handed shot ultimately gives the organization some more depth on the blueline after the recent departures of buy-out victim Jeff Schultz and Tom Poti. John Walton believes Strachan will start the season in Hershey.

My brother-from-another-mother, Peter Hassett, describes Tyson as a sheltered, unlucky, and unremarkable defenseman, which is a pretty nice way of saying he’s a cheap, replacement-level type player. The 28-year-old Canadian also has a bit of a mean streak, as evidenced by this dirty, blind-side hit he delivered to Jason Chimera last season.

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Jason Chimera is 6′ 3″. Joe Beninati is not. To get the two in the same frame for a pregame interview required some assistance.

I sympathize; this is what school dances were like for me in 7th grade.

Photo by DuvallSpx

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Jason Chimera Scores a Goal

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“WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” (Photo credit: Patrick McDermott)

Jason Chimera hasn’t scored a lot of goals this season — so few, in fact, that’s it’s become A Thing. Chimera markers are special occasions to be celebrated– like a John Carlson backcheck. But Thursday, in game one of the 2013 Eastern Conference Quarterfinals, we got another special occasion.

Just 46 seconds after Marcus Johansson took Steve Oleksy‘s divine saucer pass and put it behind Henrik Lundqvist in the second period, Chimmer added another goal to Washington’s tally. Taking a pass from Mathieu Perreault, the Bald Bullet swept the puck towards the net from the blueline. It seemed as if Chimera was trying to set up a play for Matty P, who by then had parked himself in front of net. Instead, Chimera’s puck trickled lazily past King Henrik.

“He’s had some struggles as far as the regular season goes,” Troy Brouwer said of Chimera. “To see him score early on, get confidence, play well [is good]. He loves helping the team out, he loves playing hockey, and he did a great job tonight.”

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