Peter was on the Baltimore Sports Hockey podcast last night to chat about the Capitals and the playoffs. Peter tried his best to mask his pessimism, and much merriment was had on topics such as:

• Brooks Laich’s “guarantee” and the Caps’ playoff chances
• What’s wrong with Alex Ovechkin?
• What kind of offseason changes do we want to see?
• Are there any Washington Capitals fans in Baltimore?
• Peter’s favorite Joe Beninati suit
• Predictions for the playoffs and the Pittsburgh Penguins

Peter’s segment starts around 15 minutes in, but the BSR guys are funny throughout the show.  The only problem is Georgia the bulldog snoring audibly in the background. Check it out and Go Orioles!

Photo credit: Chris Gordon

Way back in the eighties when trading cards were still packaged with a stick of bubble gum, a young, bright-eyed right-wing by the name of Craig Laughlin was featured on his first ever card. O-Pee-Chee, a Canadian candy company, produced the 1983-84 season set which also featured rookie cards for Scott Stevens, Phil Housley, and Brian Bellows.

Fast forward 28 years, Laughlin can now be found in the Capitals broadcast booth alongside play-by-play man Joe Beninati. The broadcast duo has been calling Capitals games together for 17 years. While the two took completely different paths to get to their current jobs, The Panini Group has now distinguished Joe B. with the same honor Laughlin received in his playing days. Yes, Joe B. now has an official trading card too. And it comes signed!

Voices of the Game

Photo credit: Panini America’s blog

On March 26, 2010, Panini — an Italian company which also produces books, comics, magazines, and stickers — acquired a five-year license from the NHL and NHL Players Association to make trading cards. In one of their first sets entitled Crown Royale, Panini’s brain trust wanted to make their own mark on the industry.

“We wanted something different,” the company’s License Acquisitions Manager Alex Carbajal explained in an interview. “Something different than the same old player. Something that fans of hockey could really dig. So one idea that came out [in our meetings] was Voices of the Game. Let’s have the announcers be a part of the set.”

The train of thought among those inside Panini: fans of each team would feel a strong connection to their own particular announcer and it would become a must have collectible. “Not only are you collecting the players,” Carbajal said.” You want to collect every part of the team.”

Panini decided to produce 100 cards each of noteworthy announcers such as Don Cherry, Darren Pang, Daryl Reaugh, and Hockey Hall of Famer Bob Miller. The cards were signed and then placed randomly into packs.

When the cards were released to the public later that year, the Voices of the Game insert became a big hit for the brand.

But hockey cards can only remain novel for so long. So what would Panini do for the next set?

“Really? You want to pay me for my autograph?”

One team that was not represented in 2010-11 15-card set was the Washington Capitals. Collectors in North America took notice.

Said Carbajal: ”When we first announced the set on our Panini America blog last season people were really giving us a hard time saying, ‘But we really wanted Joe Beninati!’”

So this year, when Panini picked their new cast, Beninati was an obvious choice. But would he agree to it?

“Really? You want to pay me for my autograph?” Carbajal vividly recalled Beninati saying when he first broached the subject.

In the end, Joe B. overcame the momentary shock and signed the paperwork to make it happen.

“When I heard from him that they wanted me to be a part of the set this year, I didn’t wait more than two seconds to give him the go ahead,” Beninati said. “You’re honored by it. I was flattered by it. To be included in that set, meant a great deal. Those are the kinds of things you come across time to time in your career that you’re genuinely touched by.”

Simply Sensational

Several months before the scheduled release of Panini’s 2011-12 Crown Royale, Joe Beninati received a package in the mail at his Virginia home. It contained 200 cards of himself to sign. There also were directions to sign 10 of them with a special touch.

The year before, the Penguins’ colorful play-by-play man, Mike Lange (we’ll hold our tongues here), was part of the Voices set. Unlike the other announcers who followed the directions, Lange secretly signed a few of them with a special inscription of his signature calls. “People really dug them and tried anything they could to get their hands on them,” Carbajal revealed. “So this year, we decided to do that with all of the announcers.”

While Beninati doesn’t really believe in those types of canned calls — “I don’t want to run around with my hair on fire yelling, ‘Great Googly Moogly he scores again!’” — he did acknowledge that there were some things that he says during broadcasts that have stuck. After putting some thought into it, Joe B. came across three sayings he could actually inscribe onto the cards, one of which has special significance to Caps fans.

“Five of them I signed ‘Fires and Scores!,’ said Beninati. “Four of them I signed ‘Bombs Away!,’ and only one of them — only one card of me in the entire set that’s signed ‘Simply Sensational.’ That’s the tagline to Ovechkin’s goal against Phoenix in his rookie year, which obviously stands as the goal and one of the greatest sports accomplishments I had the pleasure of describing.”

“I should never say ‘simply sensational’ ever again,” he continued. “I didn’t know I was going to say it that day in Phoenix, it’s just what came out. It’s just how I reacted.”

The back of the card. Click to enlarge.

But that one special inscription isn’t where the connection to Ovi ends — Panini made Beninati’s card number eight in the set, a sentimental fact not lost on the play-by-play man.

“When you have a job as a play-by-play announcer, you live for moments where you can basically enhance what the athletes are doing,” he said. “When you have the opportunity to work for Alex Ovechkin — I’ve worked with Alex Ovechkin as my main subject for 7 years — boy you know you’re going to have some moments to describe. Anybody that has watched Alex play in his first 7 years, would know that he’s a play-by-play guy’s dream.”

Once done signing, Beininati then mailed the cards back to Panini’s American headquarters in Texas, and the cards were put into packs.

“The announcers are so funny because some players they take a little longer to sign,” Carbajal said. “The announcers get the cards back to us in one day.”

Locker Not Impressed

Photo credit: Chris Gordon

So far, the set — which also features two of Beninati’s broadcasting heroes HHOF’er Mike Emrick and Bill Clement — have been well-recieved by collectors. Joe B.’s signed card has fetched $10-$15 each on eBay, his specially inscribed ones have been going for over $50, as much as an Alex Ovechkin autograph.

But there was one thing that Beninati wouldn’t do: tell his broadcast partner about his honor.

It all came full circle when we came in to do a photo-shoot for the post. Locker didn’t know about the card beforehand. After one look, he burst out into uncontrollable laughter, a state which continued for several minutes.

The former hockey player would be surprised however, if he checked eBay. Joe B.’s rookie card goes for nearly 5 times more than his on the open market.

The entire process of having this card created and signed shows a small glimpse into what we Capitals fans get to hear every night with Beninati: Hard-work, thoughtfulness, and professionalism. It’s why Joe B. is the best in the business at what he does and why this card is so special: it’s 1 out of 200. A true Capital collectors’ dream, just like Panini envisioned.

Now it’s up to you to get your hands on it.

Additional reporting by Chris Gordon.

As you know, we don’t think it’s cool to give female hockey fans a hard time for liking the players. But it’s okay to differ on matters of taste. Evgeni Malkin, for example, has some kind of nerve-damage thing happening on that face that only a mother could (or should) love. But we see people holding signs for the guy anyway.

During Friday’s Jets-Caps game, these two sophisticated mamas made a tandem proposition to DC’s broadcast team of Joe Beninati and Craig Laughlin. Bravo, ladies. You have our complete support.

Sometime later, Laughlin, who is always a smooth character, was caught signing autographs for fans who were throwing up items to him in the booth. This town certainly loves its announcers.

We at Russian Machine Never Breaks are the Ken Burnses of Joe B. fashion. We’ve been documenting every green blazer, every ostentatious houndstooth and argyle combo, and every– let’s be honest– pimp suit. The esteemed Beninati was your guide through a spastic season, and now we return the favor. Here are (awful cell phone) photos of Joe’s suits from every telecast this season– with links to our gamers.

So let’s take a stroll down memory lane with the sharply dressed, silver-tongued man himself.

P.S. NBC/Versus was pretty dumb to let the guy go, huh?

Alexander Semin picks up William after giving him his game jersey. (Photo credit: Shannon family)

Editor’s Note: By now, you’ve probably heard of William Shannon. He is five years old, has acute lymphoblastic leukemia and is everyone’s favorite little Capital. Thanks to the make a Wish-A-Wish foundation and the Caps, William had his dream realized and took the ice with Mike Green, Jason Chimera, D.J. King and Semyon Varlamov on Friday.

“This weekend was an incredible event!,” William’s father Devin Shannon said in an email. “William’s wish was to practice with the Capitals and he did! I can’t tell you how much everyone has done for us and what this weekend has meant for us.”

After practicing with the Caps, William’s journey continued on Saturday when he and his family took in Washington’s matchup with the Buffalo Sabres before riding the on the Zamboni and receiving the jersey off the back of Alexander Semin after the game. I’ll let Devin take it from here:

Day two was just as amazing as day one! Allyson Butler from Make-A-Wish met us in the hotel lobby and took us out to wait for our “ride” to the game! Within minutes a very long black stretch limo appeared before us! Bill, our driver, was very nice. William and Emily quickly climbed in and all we heard for a few minutes was: “Cool!” “This is so sweet!” Then we had chatty little ones for the short ride over to the Verizon Center! It is amazing how just the little things make such a huge impression! How neat it was for the kids to get out of the limo right in front of the Verizon Center with so many fans around wondering who the V.I.P. was!

Allyson led us to our seats which were in Ovi’s Crazy Eights section! Before game time, we got to go down to the ice level to watch warmups. However, it wasn’t just any warmup because we got to watch it from the penalty box! Both kids spent a few minutes with Wes Johnson, the public address announcer!

While we were hanging in the penalty box, one fan came knocking on the glass and congratulated William on the goals he scored on Semyon Varlamov! How thrilling it was to be with a celebrity! Then we headed up to our seats for the game! As soon as I returned from our first period run for food, we were whisked away to the press box. Kurt from Capitals PR took us around and showed us the press box with Joe Beninati and Craig Laughlin. They greeted us all with smiles on their faces! William responded with a “I saw you on TV!”. They gave William a pair of headphones so that he could listen in to what they were hearing.

As soon as the first period ended, Craig instructed William in how they use the telestrator to demonstrate plays by drawing circles, arrows, etc. He was very chatty with William about his experiences with the Caps. Joe jumped in a bit to compliment William on his hockey skills from the day before. Craig didn’t leave Emily out and gave her some of the same attention and instruction that he gave William! Top-notch guys!! We got an added bonus when we were all invited into the replay booth. The head replay guy, John Robinson, shared how he had just made a donation to friends of his participating in a Make-A-Wish Foundation fundraiser bike ride! He asked permission to include William on his prayer list, which so far contains the names of survivors! He was so sweet and so touched by my little guy!

We headed back to our seats to watch a little more of the game, but that was short-lived! William had to make his debut on the big screen riding on the Olympia (in our world, the Zamboni)! Another dream come true for him! He did not hesitate when picked up to climb in! He got his seat belt on and was ready to go! The beaming smile was just amazing! The video of William on the Zamboni went up on the jumbotron to a huge applause from the fans! He smiled and waved in reply! He looked so little up there, but so happy and confident! He chatted a little with Jamey the driver, but was mostly just checking everything out! Emily, Sandy and I got to watch him from behind the doors where the Zamboni comes on and off the ice.

We made it back to our seats for just a few more minutes. As it was Fan Appreciation Day, every fan received a Nicklas Backstrom bobblehead (and one fan randomly gave his to William as he was passing us before the game even began)! There was a contest conducted for fans to win a game-worn autographed jersey. So they came to get Sandy and William and head back down to the ice level to prepare to line up to receive his jersey. Sandy and William got to watch most of the third period on T.V. from near the Coaches Club lounge downstairs. Hanging out there they saw several goals, but had to go line up with the Caps being down by a goal. They went off to the hallway to await being brought out onto the ice. They received news of the goal to tie it up and then the winning goal by Alex Ovechkin!

There was another little boy, Luke, in the line who was getting Slapshot’s jersey. Luke was initially taken aback about which jersey William was getting (it was a surprise for all the winners except William), as it was Luke’s favorite player, but he handled it like a champ and was excited for William and for himself. Luke and William are only a few months apart in age and they hit it off big! How great it was for William to meet another kid who shares the same passion for hockey that he does! They chatted about players, goals and were just goofy together! Two peas in a pod they were! The line of winners filed out onto the carpet over the ice. Each winner had to pull a paper out of their envelope which had a player’s number on it. That player then came over to meet the winner of the jersey and to sign the jersey. William and Luke were the last two. They were so patient and so composed waiting their turn! All players had given away their jerseys except one: Alexander Semin! Semin skated over and pulled off his jersey to give to William. He signed it and then as he handed it over and went to pose for a photo-op, he hoisted William up to his shoulder to a huge applause from the fans and from the players! Just amazing! Both William and Semin were beaming!

On their final trip back to our seats, Sandy said William was met with applause and gestures of awe as they walked along the corridor: “There’s that kid!” “Way to go William!” “I saw you on T.V.!” “You skated great!” I think he might have been a bit overwhelmed, but certainly so happy! I can’t wait to see the recording of the game. I heard that Joe and Craig mentioned William’s practice Friday and that we had visited them in the booth. I am sure I am leaving out so much! It was just an amazing night! I cannot get over the generosity of this organization and the special place they held in their hearts for our little boy! The stories being written and the tweets posted tell me how touched the players, bloggers and media were with his story. I don’t think that his story medically is much different from many other children, but I know that his passion and love for hockey and the Capitals makes him stand out! When we were talking earlier that day about the game, the kids predicted that the Caps would score three or four goals (they scored five). William said Ovi was going to get at least three points! And he was right on! Two assists and the final overtime goal!!!

Bill met us with our beautiful stretch limo and took us back to the hotel! William loved his limo ride and was excited that his feet could touch the ground! When asked his favorite part of tonight, he responded that it was meeting Semin! All in all, I don’t think Make-A-Wish and the Capitals could have made the trip any better! When Sandy and William were walking back to our seats, William turned and told Sandy, “Mom, my wish really did come true!”

There are so many people that played such a huge part in William’s wish! Bruce Boudreau, George McPhee, Bob Woods, Scott Hannan, Matt Bradley, Mike Green, D.J. King, Semyon Varlamov, Jason Chimera, Alexander Semin, Joe Beninati, Craig Laughlin, John Robinson, Ted Leonsis, Liz and Nadia (our Capitals escorts), Allyson and Jessica from Make-A-Wish Mid-Atlantic, Pam Haymond from the Make-A-Wish Northern WV chapter, Laura our Red Rocker, Wes the PA announcer, Bill the limo driver, Jamey the Zamboni driver, Jorge from Front Page Arlington, Chris Gordon, the crews from WUSA 9 and CSN, all of the bloggers, the fans who cheered William on and so many more! It truly was a magical night!

(All photos courtesy Shannon family — Click to enlarge)

Alex Ovechkin signs his stick for William on Friday.

William and his sister Emily take in practice.

William poses for a photo with Caps Head Coach Bruce Boudreau.

William’s very own stall in the Capitals locker room.

“Authorized Personnel Only”

William meets Scott Hannan.

William talks to Joe B outside the locker room.

Capitals General Manager Geogre McPhee with William.

William in Capitals locker room with Jay Beagle (left) and Matt Bradley (center).

The Shannon family poses for a photo at Kettler Capitals Iceplex.

Jorge from Front Page Arlington talks with William.

John Carlson poses for a photo with William and Emily.

The limo arrives in front of the hotel.

William and Emily in their V.I.P. ride.

Devin, Emily, Sandra, William and their driver Bill.

William with his Nicklas Backstrom bobblehead.

William and Emily await warmups from the penalty box.

William and Wes Johnson pose for a photo.

William takes in warmups.

William cheers on the boys in red.

William meets CSN Washington color man Craig Laughlin.

Joe B. puts headphones on William.

Locker shows William how to work to the telestrator.

“Hold it here!”

William and Emily pose with the crew from the NHL replay booth.

Hat Trick, William, Slapshot and Emily pose for a photo.

William rides the Zamboni.

William and Luke share a laugh.

Hat Trick shakes William’s hand.

Sasha Minor signs his game jersey for William.

William, Devin and Emily pose for a photo with Semin’s sweater.

William scores on an out of position Semyon Varlamov. (Photo credit: Chris Gordon)

It was an ordinary day at Kettler Capitals Iceplex. Caps players took part in an optional practice, one of the countless and rather mundane skates they will participate in this season. That was, of course, until William Shannon joined in.

William is five years old and suffers from acute lymphoblastic leukemia. His dream is to play for the Washington Capitals. For a few hours at least that dream was realized thanks to the Make-A-Wish Foundation’s Mid-Atlantic chapter.

With the players wrapping up their on-ice workout, William took the ice, clad in the sweater of his favorite player, Alex Ovechkin, and Ovi’s signature yellow laces. He has been playing hockey since 2009, but had to stop late that year because of side-effects from his treatment. That didn’t keep him out of the rink for long, however, and in February of last year he was back, feeling so weak he had to use a walker, but nonetheless on the ice.

“This is phenomenal. This is every kid’s wish,” William’s mom Sandra told me. “For William, it’s even bigger. Hockey is what has gotten him through. Our hard days, our tough days, we are watching hockey. On our better days he’s playing hockey … To actually be strong enough, to be confidant enough, to be good enough of a skater to hold his own in a way with these players out here, you know, it’s joyful. It’s hope. It’s saying, ‘you’ve got a lifetime’.”

William’s day at Kettler began with a meeting with the Great Eight, who presented him with one of his signed sticks. William was then taken to the Capitals dressing room where, to his amazement, a personalized locker was set up for him, his skates hung up and all.

Bruce Boudreau broke the news. William would get skate with the Caps.

“His eyes just lit up,” Mrs. Shannon said. “He was so excited.”

After competing against Jason Chimera, Mike Green and D.J. King for a while, William got a special treat. Taking to the net to face him was none other than Semyon Varlamov. A shootout drill followed. Varlamov remained strong in his crease early on, but after Varly got a little too aggressive William starting racking up the goals to the delight of the crowd at the practice facility, who cheered and banged on the glass.

“He played hard out there,” said Mrs. Shannon. “He played as hard as he could. We saw the best of William on the ice.”

Green, one of the best defenseman in the sport, agreed.

“He’s a good little player,” he said. “We were giving it to him a little bit. I think I slashed him once. D.J. hit him. We were roughing him up a bit. He handled himself well out there.”

William and his family, who hail from Shepherdstown, West Virginia, will get to join some of the same fans who cheered for them on Friday when they attend the Capitals match-up with the Buffalo Sabres Saturday evening. William, his sister Emily, mother and father Devin will sit in seats purchased by Ovechkin as part of “Ovi’s Crazy Eights.” After the game, William will be presented with Alexander Semin’s game jersey, right off the back of Sasha Minor himself.

“It’s just been an amazing experience and it’s one that he and his entire family will have for the rest of their lives,” said Allyson Butler of Mid-Atlantic Make-A-Wish. “We try to make every wish its own and go beyond the child’s imagination. That’s the beauty in what we do.”

As he left the ice, Capitals General Manager George McPhee quipped that he would like to speak with William, possibly to negotiate a contract with the young forward.

Just before he stepped into the Capitals dressing room, a familiar face greeted Will at the door. “I saw you on TV,” William said to CSN Washington’s Joe Beninati. Joe B. preceded to announce the play-by-play for William’s game-winning goal for the Capitals, something that no one is saying won’t happen again in the future.

“He’s determined he’s going to be a Cap,” Mrs. Shannon said. “One day he’s going to be a Cap himself. And I wouldn’t put it past him.”

(All photos by Chris Gordon — Click to enlarge)

Chimera and King react after Green accidentally trips William.

Varly pretends to break his stick after allowing a soft goal to William. Pro tip: your legs, not back, go on the ice.

Last week we opened up our lines for reader questions. To be totally frank, they’ve been way beyond our expectations. Didn’t know you had it in you; keep ‘em coming!

Now pipe down and pay attention, cause Neil’s about to drop some science on you fools.

Carrie S. writes up about the fashion choices of CSN’s Joe Beninati and Craig Laughlin:

It seems like Craig and Joe B’s outfits are always color-coordinated. You never see one of them wearing a black/grey/blue color family and the other wearing brown/tan/green. As a viewer, I appreciate this no-clashing practice, but wonder: Is it a policy? Does the network tell them what colors to wear? Do they figure it out themselves? Is it purely serendipitous luck?

As you can tell from the suit-of-the-night feature, we at RMNB take Joe B’s fashion very seriously. Not our own (as you can tell from our t-shirts), but Joe B’s apparel is a big deal for us. Just for you, I am going to break out the old Magnificent Monte Carlo Machine and see what the chances are it is pure luck that they look good.

Joe B. has shown a wide variety of suit/tie combos, so if we assume he and Locker have access to 12 main color combinations at any one time the chances that they BOTH find something color-coordinated by random chance is .069% or 145 to 1. Long odds, so I say it is definitely coordinated.

# # #

C.N. wants to know about Roman entertainment:

Do you like movies about gladiators?

Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

# # #

John K. ventures into the dangerous intersection of hockey and love:

Do any of you think you could date a Penguins fan?  I’ve been having fun with one for a few weeks, and now she’s decided that she’s looking for more of a commitment from me.  I’m just not sure I can commit to a girl who owns a Sidney Crosby jersey and was wondering if that was something you guys thought you could ever get past.

First off, this is the type of thing that should come out during the courting process. Before I met my current girlfriend, I always added a line to my Craigslist ads that said “Do you like movies about gladiators?” “What’s your favorite hockey team?” I have an auto-filter set up so that if they come back with “Pittsburgh” it is automatically deleted and I don’t know what I am missing.

That said, here is my advice: If she’s hot nice, smart, and has a great– uh… personality, then you can probably get by so long as you don’t watch games together. Try to look at it as her love of the game and not as her love of the Pens.

# # #

Some guy named Peter H. wants to know about Braden Holtby:

By my crude math, Holtby is at .967 Sv% (87 for 90) on his recent stint. Teeny tiny sample, but still impressive as [heck]. What do your data say on the matter?

Based on his 174 shots faced for the season we can calculate his margin of error, which tells us with 95% certainty Holtby’s “real save percentage based on ability” is somewhere between .865 and .951. So he is either Andrew Raycroft or Vesa Toskala. In other words, way too soon to tell.

# # #

If you’ve got a question for RMNB about collective bargaining agreements, animal husbandry, nutrition, or head shots, just Feed the Machine. We’ll get back to you.

CSN’s intro videos have always been well done, but this one takes the cake. Going high concept, Joe Beninati and a dedicated graphics team introduce us to the Young Guns the Super Friends.

Nicklas Backstrom is Mr. Cool.
Alex Semin is Blade.
Mike Green is Falcon.
Alex Ovechkin is Laser.

Thanks to Neil Greenberg for his unrivaled DVR skills.