It’s a holiday in Caps land. Karl Alzner‘s dog Murphy turns five-years-old today. To celebrate, Karl gave all three of his pups a McDonald’s burger, which means they eat as healthily as Alex Semin.

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Yeah, Boston isn't in the division, but the gag is funnier this way.

With the signing of Karl Alzner, the Washington Capitals are just one Johansson-shaped puzzle piece away from finalizing its roster for 2013-14. Maybe. There’s still a lot of time to make moves between now and October, but what we see now might resemble the opening-night lineup. Most of the other teams in Division D (aka the Patrick++ Division, aka the “Jagr” Division) have already set their teams, so we’ve got an interesting– if a bit premature– idea of how those general managers have allocated their salary for next season.

In short: George McPhee has pinched his pennies on defense and opened up his wallet George Jetson-style for forwards.

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Photo credit: Bruce Bennett

The Washington Capitals have announced that they’ve re-signed restricted free agent defenseman Karl Alzner to a four-year deal which will keep the gifted beard grower in DC through 2016-17. Alzner, who hasn’t missed a game for three consecutive seasons, is one of the team’s most underrated players.

General Manager George McPhee inked Alzner to both a long term and a low annual average salary, $2.8 million. Combined with brother-from-another-mother John Carlson, the two top pairing quality defenseman will count a combined $6.76 million against the cap for the next four years. That’s some A freaking 1 news right there.

With Alzner now taken care of, McPhee will now look to sign Marcus Johansson long-term. Per capgeek.com, the Capitals have $5,665,705 of cap space left.

And oh yeah, by the way, Alzner’s back on Twitter. TIME TO PARTY!

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Yes, That’s Karl Alzner on Your Metro Train


The Washington Capitals’ season ended abruptly in May. Since being laid to rest by the New York Rangers, all players have returned home to their native lands for the summer. And yet, there’s still a Cap hanging around DC, refusing to be peeled away. That man is Karl Alzner.

Perhaps you’ve seen him?

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Photo credit: @nickludeman

The Washington Capitals have long been divided when it comes to music. The Capitals captain, Alex Ovechkin, loves weird Russian techno and rap, most notably Drake. Nicklas Backstrom enjoys Tiesto and pop music. Brooks Laich digs classic rock. Mike Green dabbles between both rap and hard-rock, Jay-Z and Seether in particular.

Then there are some other Caps who jam to country music. That group includes Eric Fehr, who once detailed his love of the genre during his first go around with the Caps.

“When it comes to my music, you can tell I grew up on the farm,” Fehr was quoted by the DC Sports Bog as saying. “I really enjoy listening to country music. The guys on the team don’t let me put it on in the dressing room, but I’m pretty sure they’ll come around. Alex Ovechkin could be one of the biggest country music haters of them all.”

On Saturday night, Karl Alzner and Matt Hendricks showed they are country music aficionados too, going to WMZQ Fest held at Jiffy Lube Live in Bristow, Virginia. The show was headlined by Luke Bryan, who recently won the Academy of Country Music Awards’ Entertainer of the Year award and is best known for his boom boom single Drunk On You.

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Sad Caps (Photos)


Photo was touched up to remove the NHL executive handshake-passing the ref a 100-dollar bill. (Photo credit: Greg Fiume)

With their 5-0 loss to the New York Rangers in game seven, the Washington Capitals have been ungently booted from the postseason again. A period of healing and reconciliation now begins (also probably some suntans), but first we need to take a look at the sadness. The infinite, infinite sadness.

Let’s just take it all in, mope around for the next day or two like red-rocking Eeyores, and wallow in the wah wah wah (that’s what a sad trombone sounds like). It’s not fun; no, but we need to give the grieving process time to do its thing.

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It was mid-March and Karl Alzner was on the Internet. Like most twentysomethings, he looked up silly videos on YouTube to kill time. He stumbled across one from early last year — it was of Peter Dill, a basketball player for Seton Hall. Dill scored a single basket in his two years playing for the school, but he did get very excited when his team scored. Alzner played the clip for Mathieu Perreault.

“The guy would just go crazy, pretend he had Thor’s Hammer and he’d be smashing the ground,” Alzner told me Saturday afternoon. “Perry, I could just see his eyes, like ‘this is awesome!’”

“We should do that after we win games,” Perreault responded.

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Boom. (Photo credit: Greg Fiume)

Whether he’s riding a Vespa on 66, sporting hair that doesn’t make sense, or scoring an overtime goal, Mike Green is always cool. Even in some of the game’s most heated moments, he retains his composure. After Saturday’s one-time blast to put the Capitals up 2-0 in the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals, he now has eight overtime goals in his career.

Because of his late-game abilities, his “Game Over Green” nickname is well known. But now, it seems, Greenie may have another one.

“He’s calm all the time with the puck in regulation, so when it gets to overtime and guys start to get the shakes a little bit, he’s still calm Mike Green,” defenseman Karl Alzner said. “We call him Casual Mike every now and then.”

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Caps Smack Leafs 5-1; Don’t Hit Nicky!


Photo credit: Patrick McDermott

Looking to extend their season-high seven game win streak, the Washington Capitals hosted the Toronto Maple Leafs on Tuesday night. In a match-up of possible first-round opponents, the Caps came off a shaky ending to their last win and played a game that was anything but against a tired Leafs team.

Jack Hillen scored (when doesn’t he?), Nicky got boarded, the Caps got mad, Erat got his first in red, the Brouwitzer a nice backhand shot was unleashed, Ovi had a scoar, and MoJo hacked one in. Caps smack Leafs 5-1.

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Note: I’m writing this post heavily medicated and a day after right-leg surgery. Yes, I’m hockey-player tough.

While the Washington Capitals got outplayed in the first period of Saturday’s game against the Jets, they came out strong in the second , scoring some goals and getting a little cocky. I love it when my favorite team gets cocky. Particularly because it can lead to a line brawl, one started by five-foot, ten-inch (yeah right) French Canadian Mathieu Perreault.*

After absorbing a legal shoulder-check from tough guy defenseman Zach Bogosian, Perry decided to get a lil’ saucy and slash Bogosian in the legs. Bad idea.

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