[Editor's note: When Mike Knuble was let go by the Capitals over the offseason, Knuble's Knights were temporarily without a player to worship. After some careful thought, they re-formed as a fan club dedicated to power forward Troy Brouwer and dubbed themselves the Brouwer Rangers. Nathan Burchfiel, the group's fearless leader, is now here to reveal the group's new spandex'd uniform and signs for the Caps home opener. The floor is all yours, Nathan.]

After the Caps lost their season opener to the Tampa Bay Lighting on Saturday, many Caps fans were weeping and gnashing their teeth about this Schultz or that Ovechkin. We, on the other hand, were busy experiencing something of an existential crisis.

As we struggled to squeeze into lycra suits and freshly painted motorcycle helmets during our first and only Brouwer Rangers “dress rehearsal,” the existential question wasn’t, Who are we and what are we doing with our lives? It was more, How are we going to pull this off without being arrested for indecent exposure?

As you may know, for the past three years, we’ve attended Caps games decked in plastic armor, shields and swords, and armed with an array mildly controversial but mostly silly signs in support of fan-favorite Mike Knuble. With Knuble’s departure – and at his encouragement – we knew we had to continue the tradition with a new victim muse player to cheer for.

There’s plenty floating around about why we picked Brouwer (and why we do this at all in the first place) so we won’t rehash it here. With the lockout still fresh in our minds, who really wants to dwell in the past anyway? Instead, the fine folks at RMNB asked us to provide a preview of what’s in store for the Brouwer Rangers during this shortened season. Our existential crisis has become, Can this possibly live up to the antics and adventures of Knuble’s Knights?

We hope so. Here are the Top 11 (because 20 (Brouwer’s number) divided by 2 (number of Brouwer Rangers) equals 10, plus one for good luck – don’t overthink it) reasons we’re hopeful this season will be the best yet, in no particular order.

1. New hashtags and sign. Not only is #brouwerpouwer fun to say, it’s also applicable to goals, hits, penalties (ironically, natch), funny quotes and basically anything that makes Troy Brouwer cooler than your favorite player. Use it liberally. And it’s already a handy-dandy printable sign. And remember #knublefacts? #brouwerfacts is like that, but more Brouwery. Follow us on Twitter @brouwerrangers to get your game-day #brouwerfacts. Also, #ConstellationEnergyBrouwerPlay. (That one might not stick.)
2. More games, in “better” “seats.” Though it’s a shortened season, it’s our first as full season-ticket holders. For us, this means more chances to finally catch one of those “burritos.” (Spoiler alert: it’s really a t-shirt wrapped in foil.) And who needs the 100s, with its wide sets, vertigo-free inclines and easy access to bathrooms? Bring a Sherpa and come say hit at the very top of Section 402. We picked these seats because they’re directly across the ice from Horn Guy, so we’ve got optimal sound-wave directionalization. It’s science.
3. Cooler shirts. I mean, seriously, who doesn’t want one of these? (100% of our proceeds from these shirts will go to Caps charities, just as soon as you people buy enough stuff to warrant Spreadshirt cutting a check. So, order some.)
4. BROOOOOUUUUUWEEERRRRR Sign. Will #knublesign be revived as #brouwersign? Who knows? Maybe. [coy smile]
5. Adam Oates. We hereby promise not to create, distribute or display any signs that may be deemed critical of head coach Adam Oates or any other member of team management. Unless Brouwer is ever healthy-scratched, bought out, or traded — then all bets are off.
6. Spandex!, which brings us to our next point:
7. Mandatory Fanny Packs! We were going to go “full Ranger.” Our wives … did not want us to do that. Awkward fanny packs were the compromise. You’re welcome, everyone. (We promise Ranger Ryan will have his by Tuesday’s home-opener.)
8. Brouwer for President. Brouwer’s contract expires at the end of the 2015-2016 season. There is a presidential election in 2016. Coincidence? We think not. We’re already working on very realistic Hawaiian birth certificate for Troy.
9. Cornhole Tournament. It’s a certifiable traveshamockery that we have these sick unbelievable hand-painted Caps cornhole boards and no parking lot to tailgate in. We hereby challenge the team of Ted Leonsis and George McPhee to a cornhole match at center ice. Winner sits in the owners box for a game; losers sit in our seats. But seriously, who has the hookup for setting up a pre-game cornhole tournament in the arena or nearby? Tweet us.
10. Oppan Brouwer Style. Go ahead and get all up on your high horse about the dystopian future pop music is dragging us toward. We’re right there with you. But don’t pretend you’re not going to love it when Brouwer scores his first goal of the season and busts this out.
11. Fun. In all seriousness, this should be a ton of fun. We go crazy like this because it’s fun, and we like to think it helps other people have some fun as well.

We’re so glad that (NHL) hockey is back, and we know you all are too. See you at the games, and Go Go Brouwer Rangers!

[Editor's note: After the Washington Capitals extended Troy Brouwer's contract for another three years on Wednesday, Nathan Burchfiel, fearless leader of Knuble Knight's, had his own announcement to make. The floor is all yours, Nathan.]

When the 2011-2012 NHL season ended, the questions about the future were only just beginning. The zeitgeist was buzzing about whether there would even be a 2012-2013 season, but moreso about what would become of Knuble’s Knights, that magnificent armor-clad duo who won the hearts of many a Caps fan with their often strange and occasionally ill-advised antics in support of their one true liege. Could the Knights continue on with their fearless leader in limbo? Would they carry their swords into battle for another worthy team member? Would they fade into the masses of normal Caps fans? Would they finally get upgraded to full season tickets? (YES!)

The new Brouwer Ranger helmet.

Well, the future is now, good people. And the news of the extension of Troy Brouwer’s contract by three years provides as good a news hook as any to announce that the armor has been polished and locked away in museum-quality display cases and shipped off to the NHL Hall of Fame, for the Knights have mightily morphed into something, dare we say, bigger, better, and more badass. Ladies and gentleman, the fans formerly known as Knuble’s Knights, in conjunction with the fine upstanding journalists at Russian Machine Never Breaks, proudly introduce … the Brouwer Rangers. (See what we did there with the mightily morphed thing?)

In his exit interview with Elliot Segal on DC101 in June, Knuble said of us, “they’ve got to take somebody else under their wing.” We knew we wanted to carry on the tradition we’d started, and Knuble’s parting words sealed the deal. After much soul-searching, and considering literally every combination of player name and character we could think of (Chimera’s Chimeras, Wolski’s Warriors, the King Crabbs, Neuvy’s Ninjas, Hendy’s Henchmen … the list goes on and on), we realized the first idea we had was, in fact, the best. And not just because the costumes are going to be fantastic (and trust us, they’re … awe-inspiring), but because Troy Brouwer is truly worthy of the recognition, no matter what Neil Greenberg says.* A solid on-ice contributor and locker-room leader whose name happens to adorn Lord Stanley’s Cup but isn’t considered one of the team’s “superstars,” Brouwer embodies the characteristics that make us respect and appreciate a player. Plus it’s really fun to pretend you’re Wes Johnson and growl-yell, “Goal scored by #20, Troooyyyyyyy BRRRRRRRROOOOOUUUUUUWEERRRRRRRR!”

As you may have already noticed (but let’s be honest, you probably haven’t noticed), the Twitter handle has been changed. The logo is set. The final touches are being put on the new costumes (including the new helmet previewed in the picture). The rest will come with time – hopefully sooner rather than later. Will there be a Big Head Brouwer? Probably, yes. The cheering and signs and (reasonably tempered) antics will continue from our new permanent perch atop section 402. We’ll be rocking the Red Ranger suits just as soon as Gary Bettman and Donald Fehr hug it out. (That’s assuming the season is delayed by at least one game. You see, someone planned his wedding and honeymoon before the schedule was announced, and happens to return the day after the scheduled home opener against the Devils. What a dinkus.) We’re excited for this new adventure, and hope you guys have some fun along the way as well!

Go Go Brouwer Rangers!

*To be fair to Neil, his pre-season prediction on Brouwer’s contributions last year was spot on. He said Brouwer would have to up his shooting percentage to 15 to hit 20 goals. His shooting percentage was 13.5, and he scored 18 goals.

Photo credit: Paul Bereswill

[Editor's note: We asked Nathan and Ryan of Knuble's Knights to bid a fond farewell to Mike Knuble as he departs the Washington Capitals. Here's what they gave us.]

Sir Michael of the House Knuble, First of Your Name, Man of 1000 Games, Crasher of Nets, Breacher of Creases, Abuser of Goalies and Grandpa of Slippers:

Thank you.

When the RMNB guys invited us to write a farewell post, they suggested that we provide some highlights of your time in D.C., defend your performance this year, or re-tell some stories about the Knights’ antics. To be honest, the stories have already been told, and there are people much more qualified who will write the reviews and summaries and analyses. As fans, all we’re really qualified to do is say Thank You.

Thank you for the three great years you gave Caps fans. Thank you for your grit, your leadership, and your passion for the game. Thank you for your funny quotes, your positive attitude, your goofy faces, and your general badassery.

On a more personal note, thank you for being so cool to two guys dressed in knight costumes cheering your name. When we decided three years ago to go crazy for a player that other people don’t go crazy for, we didn’t know how it would be received. As ridiculous as it was, you took it in stride. You were gracious toward us and as time went on (and things got progressively sillier), we like to think you even started playing along a little bit. Thanks to your brother Steve and wife Megan, who were both exceedingly kind to us.

It was truly an honor for us to do our own small part to cheer for you through thick and thin, to make sure other fans recognized your value to our team, and to, on one occasion, risk physical harm to bring attention to your plight. (About that: Sorry if the whole “Free Knuble” / “Scratch Hunter” thing caused you grief.)

We can’t speak for the Caps organization or for players on the team, but if you ask us, the reaction to the news that you’re leaving speaks volumes to what you’ve meant to Caps fans these last three years. We don’t think there are many role players whose departures, after just a few years on a team, caused so much anguish among the fans. You have earned respect and admiration from guys who knew you and fans who maybe never even met you. And there are lots of fans of other teams who’d love to have you. (Please, not the Penguins.)

As you said in the exit interviews, this separation wasn’t a surprise. That doesn’t make it any easier. We’re just glad it didn’t end in March, with healthy scratches, frustration among the fans (and, apparently, others affiliated with the team), and confusion for you. At least we had that Bruins series. And a lot of other great memories that at least two of your fans will fondly remember for a very long time to come.

Like when we showed up at “Caps on the Fly” in 2009 to introduce ourselves.

Or the two times we convinced entire rows of fans to participate in the KNUUUUUUUUBLE sign.

Photo credit: Clydeorama

Or that time Peter made your name an adjective, and Mark Burrier made it art.

Or when you spent time chatting with us at practice, and you actually thanked us for our support.

Or when we all celebrated your 1000^th game, or the first shootout goal of your career, or any of the other 58 goals you scored for the Caps, with a rousing KNUUUUUUUUUBLE yell.

Maybe the longest distance goal of 22′s career. (GIF by welshhockeyfan.tumblr.com)

And as things got awkward with your situation on the roster, thank you for being a class act – a term many have used in recent days to describe you. In a post-announcement interview, you talked with CSN’s Chuck Gormley about being a role model. “Even on your worst day, there’s always a kid who wants an autograph or that moment in time to shake your hand,” you explained. “You can’t ever forget that. Even on your worst day you still want to make sure you’re extremely nice to that kid because he’ll remember that. You hope they remember you in a good way.”

We will certainly remember you in a good way, Mike. We’d venture to guess the vast majority of Caps fans of all ages will remember you that way as well – yes, in part for your contributions on the ice, but also because of the man you strove to be off it. The Washington Capitals were lucky to have you. Even if the organization forgot it, the fans didn’t. You’ll be missed.

But all good things must come to an end, and we must part ways. We’ll still cheer on our Caps, and you’ll move on to the next stage of your career. We wish you the best and will root for you wherever you end up, whether it’s on the ice or off. (Unless it’s the Pens.) If it is on the ice, we hope you find a team that recognizes the value you add– not only in the stats, but also in the intangibles– and a coach who understands the right ways to use your skills. Their fans will be lucky to have you.

But seriously, please not the Pens.

Photo credit: @jlrpuck of capsbypuck.blogspot.com

Just another ho-hum night for Ovechkin: 1 goal, 2 assists. (Photo credit: Mitchell Layton)

Semyon Varlamov: Your game's number one star. (Photo credit: Mitchell Layton)

In a matchup between the Eastern Conference’s best and worst teams, Bruce Boudreau opted to scratch three of his regulars — Jason Arnott, Scott Hannan and Alexander Semin — in the Capitals final home game of the regular season. After seeing his team play a tough 65 minutes in Toronto, Boudreau saw no compelling reason to field his best roster, especially considering the Capitals had already clinched their fourth straight Southeast division title.

Despite there being some signs pointing to Mike Green returning to the line-up tonight, Boudreau opted to sit the two-time Norris Trophy finalist as well. Boudreau told the Washington Post’s Greg Schimmel after today’s morning skate that, “No [Green won’t play tonight], but you know what, he’s ready to play and, I mean, he’s been symptom-free for three weeks plus. It’s just we’re trying to be as cautious as we can with things, just as other people are with guys that they have as concussions and could probably play, but they want to make 100 percent sure. We feel he’ll be good to go on Saturday.”

The Capitals “B” team, however, didn’t miss a beat. Before the game was a minute old, Marcus Johansson – he of the ever-burgeoning confidence — inside outted Mike Weaver with an extra-crispy move. Helpless and out of position, Weaver took a tripping penalty, sending the Capitals power play immediately onto the ice. Mike Knuble, the beneficiary of a Brooks Laich power move to the net, scored 23 seconds into the man-advantage. Jason Chimera, brilliantly set-up by Nicklas Backstrom, then scored via a tap-in on Washington’s second powerplay of the night to close the opening stanza.

The Capitals would never look back. Sean Collins would score his second career NHL goal on a rarely-seen four-on-two odd man break during the second period, Matt Hendricks would pot a goal in front of the net after some hard forechecking in the corners and Alex Ovechkin would add an empty-net goal, his 32nd of the season. Caps maul Panthers, 5-2.

The sign that willed Knuble's first period tally. (Photo credit: Cheryl Nichols)

• Please immediately go over to Knuble’s Knights’ blog and thank them for creating the good vibes surrounding the game’s first goal. Great work, guys!
• If there’s one person on earth who definitely doesn’t have eyes in the back of his head, it’d be Scott Clemmensen. Despite being a veteran of over 120 NHL games and previously apprenticing under future Hall of Fame goaltender Martin Brodeur, Clemmensen has somehow still not mastered how to defend plays behind the net, which I thought was a pretty basic thing. On Chimera’s power play goal, the thirty three-year old back-up goaltender guessed wrong on what Nick Backstrom was doing, and on Hendricks tally, he did not hold the post strong and watched another gimme go into the net. Sure, Florida’s defense has more holes in it than a gourmet slice of Swiss cheese, but Clemmensen did little to help give the rebuilding club a chance to win tonight.
• That reminds me. Time seriously flies. How has it been over a decade since I watched Panthers fans happily throw plastic rats onto the ice in the 1996 Stanley Cup Finals? For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, you can read up on the hilarious story here on Wikipedia. The Panthers organization has pretty much been stuck in disarray since then and I really feel sorry for the team’s hardcore fans. As a person who has rooted for the Orioles all my life and have suffered through their 13 consecutive losing seasons, it takes an emotional toll. I honestly hope the Panthers get it together. Though when the team gives away one of their best assets like Dennis Wideman — who still has another year left on his contract — for a third round pick and Jake Hauswirth, it’s really hard to see how their current regime could return the organization to greatness.
• The best news of the night: no one got injured. ::High Five::
• Washington has won four straight games and can drop out of first place only if it loses in regulation to Florida on Saturday and if the Philadelphia Flyers win their last two games. Sweet.
• During the game, Andrew Gordon announced on Twitter that he received his long-coveted “Magic Bullet” in the mail. God, I love this team.
• Per the Caps Media, Mike Knuble now has 13 points (9 goals, 4 assists) in his last 13 games. Brooks Laich has six points (all assists) during his current five-game point streak.
• In the first period, Scott Clemmensen faced six shots and let in two. On the opposite end of the ice, Semyon Varlamov stopped all 18 shots Florida threw at him. You can’t say this often, but tonight’s tilt was won in the first period. Varly, who made 31 saves, definitely deserved to be the game’s first star of the night.
• I personally was very happy to see Sean Collins net the game’s third goal. After talking to him in Hershey last year, the guy has really craved playing in the NHL since his 15-game stint in 2008-09. There was probably no one more enthused about tonight’s victory than him. Major props are also extended to Laich for collecting the puck that he scored the goal with and giving it to the training staff for Collins to keep forever.
• All this crashing of the net is getting me excited. It seems like every goal the Capitals have scored lately has been preceded by a power move towards the opponent’s crease.
• 

  Joe B. Suit of the Night (Who's that awesome guy in the middle?)

  For the second straight year, every Capitals home game was sold out, a streak now extending to 101 consecutive games. This IS a hockeytown.

• A few other nuggets: Marcus Johansson was two for nine in the faceoff dot. Matt Bradley had five hits in 12 minutes of ice time. Brooks Laich won nine of 12 draws. The Capitals are 39-0-3 when scoring three or more goals.

We’ll see you Saturday for the Capitals final tilt of the year in Sunrise. Then time for the PLAYOFFS!!!!!!!!!!@!@!@!!!!!