Photo credit: Greg Fiume

You could liken Tomas Vokoun’s debut for the Washignton Capitals to being fed to wolves. A team that relies heavily on their netminders, the Capitals chose their date with the fluke-friendly Tampa Bay Lightning to introduce the goalie. This is the same team that knocked the Caps just a few months ago and whose coach has mastered the art of saying passive-aggressive dick-y things. No pressure. GAME ON.

Teddy Purcell deflected off Mike Green’s legs for an early goal that probably pissed Vokoun off righteously. Marcus Johansson converted a wraparound after Dwayne Roloson left the net (more on this below). Bruno “Ricky” Gervais wristed it from beneath the goal line, catching Vokoun off the post to put the Bolts back up. Dennis Wideman unleashed a monster from the blue line that hit iron and webbing (Neil put this shot percentage at around 2%). Dominic Moore had all the time in the world to put his puck in short-side from the slot. Then Schultz ripped one off of Troy Brouwer, whose shot was screened by Joel Ward.

Lemme catch my breath… There’s more.

Jason Chimera crashed the net to clean up Brooks Laich’s rebound and put the Caps up 4-3 in the third. Nick Thompson exploited a completely screened Tomas Vokoun to even it back up. Vokoun had no excuse on the next one, a deep-from-behind ricochet by Brett Clark. Jason Chimera tied it up with a rocket from the circles, earning all in attendance free wings from Glory Days. Into overtime and onto the shootout. New paragraph needed.

Hendricks dekes a deke that hath not yet been deked to give the Caps one. Vokoun sends back soup. Ovechkin rebuffed. Vokoun sends back soup. Sasha scoars! Caps beat Bolts 6-5 (SO)!

• Tomas Vokoun had as tumultuous a premiere as one could have. Three sketchy pucks on sketchier bounces, the seeming calling card of Tampa’s Lightning, flummoxed the veteran. Vokoun looked angry, and his defense was not doing him many favors. Three bad goals against would slay most goalies, but Tomas recovered to play a stellar overtime and an even better shootout. Every goalie has bad games like this, but Vokoun followed through to play like a champ. Welcome to the team.
• Despite the shot disparity (43-28 Caps), this game’s scoring chances were dead even at 22. A good bout and a great rivalry.
• Jason Chimera has three goals in two games. Jason Chimera has three goals in two games. The third line is on fire. The third line is on fire. That was Chimera’s 100th. And 101st. That was Chimera’s 100th goal. And 101st.
• How do you know that line is on fire? Bruce Boudreau gave Brooks Laich 11 offensive-zone starts compared to Nick Backstrom’s 6. That tells you who coach trusts right now.
• Sasha cares very much… with the man advantage. Alex Semin had 4 of the Caps’ 7 PP scoring chances.
• 

  Thick. Proud. Matt Hendricks (Photo credit: Greg Fiume)

  So that first goal against Dwayne Roloson… let’s do some old jokes! Roloson wandered out of the net as if he was off meds and looking for Werther’s Originals. A Silver Alert was posted on all the highways, but Rolo was lying low somewhere out of the crease, probably watching reruns of NCIS and counting his social security checks.  Happy 42nd birthday on Wednesday, Dwayne. For an old guy who looks like Jackie Earle Haley, playing goalie for the other team, you’re still awesome.

• So it’s NOT okay to throw your hockey stick at another player? Hunh. News to me. I guess it’s still verboten to take your skate off and try to stab someone with it, right?
• Marcus Johansson looked like a god among insects out there tonight. He leveled two hits on his first shift, scored a picturesque wraparound, drew a scary trip in overtime. Even on scoring chances for and against, but still a good night for the younger Swede.
• On the other hand, there’s Alex Ovechkin. AO’s minus-2 rating and mild offensive contributions made him little more than a neutral player. He didn’t have his first scoring chance until 55 seconds into the 3rd period.
• Neutral is what Nick Backstrom should aim for. Minus-2 with two penalties and two shots thoroughly shanked. Not Nicky’s night.
• Troy Brouwer recorded his first goal as a Washington Capital by deflecting Jeff Schultz’s rocket. Fellow newbie Joel Ward also gets props for screening the goalie on that one.
• Whose fault was the too-many-men-on-the-ice penalty? Coaching? A zealous player? Semin in the box? Let’s find out soon, because this is one penalty we see far too much of.

Okay, let’s give Alan May the mic for a second:

Not entirely sure what “thick & proud” means, but you should really be following @MayHockeyCSN.

Joe B. suit of the night

This game was thoroughly insane. There’s too much for one recap. Some might open fire on Tomas Vokoun for letting by some softies, but his performance in the closing minutes should water it down a bit. For now, let it be Jason Chimera’s night.

I hope that this victory over Tampa, the first in a very long time, gives you some relief. I hope you eat delicious wings from Glory Days. I hope you picked up Jason Chimera in your fantasy league.

We’ve got the Penguins on Thursday. Expect to see Vokoun in net.

We leave you with a tune from Veruca Salt dedicated to your Palm player of the game:

CHIMMER CHIMMER LIKE A GIRL SHOULD YEAH!

Additional reporting by Neil Greenberg, who totally called Chimera being hot tonight.

Varly looks like DeNiro in Raging Bull, only angrier. (Capture by @Caps_Girl)

Milan Lucic and the Bruins are too much for the Caps to handle for a second straight night. (Photo credit: Mary Schwalm)

Every great song is about loss of some kind: loss of life, loss of a beautiful woman, or loss of that loving feeling. The Capitals should probably download some Righteous Brothers on their iPiddles about now.  Maybe some Chuck Brown to commemorate the miserable funk they’re in. Maybe some Hank Williams to soundtrack the drowning of sorrows. Or maybe some Dark Tranquility– you know, death metal: really brutal stuff to remind them of how brutal this game was.

What can we say?  Besides the last ten minutes, this was some of worst Caps hockey we’ve seen in more than a year. But we can’t deny that Bruins were truly dialed in, most of all due to senior goalie Tim Thomas, who stopped 38 of 39 Caps shots (a season high). But it must be said that the lion’s share of the shots he faced seemed predestined for his pads.  Not that he wasn’t terrific, but that Caps awfulness might have inflated that perception.

It seems unfair to pick any players out for bad performances; it was almost uniformly bad. Like last game, the Caps are still wracked by injury, direly missing Boyd Gordon and Mike Green in particular. Like last game, they struggled to clear the defensive zone and coordinate forward thrusts, often feeding avaricious Bruins perching on the forecheck. Like last game, they didn’t put pucks in the air against a virtuoso butterfly goalie who owned the low area. And just like last game, they were hoisted with their own petard. Bruins beat Caps 4-1.

Bullets over Boston. Blech.

• Jason Chimera‘s turnover-and–goal rescued the evening from Cutthroat Island-level disaster. Instead, we got a quaint Howard the Duck-level disaster. Thanks, Chimmer.
• Oh, perfect penalty kill unit, we hardly knew ye.
• Why does every Caps power play come with complementary shorthanded chance for the other team?
• Ian and Peter have been vicious towards Marcus Johansson, but he wasn’t bad at all tonight. Then again, the notoriously bad facer-offer took none of them in his own zone, so let’s temper the defensive accolades.
• On the flip side, Eric Fehr and Jason Chimera had no starts in the offensive zone.
• That plus-minus hoarder, Jeff Schultz, had a rough one: -2.
• Both Brooks Laich and Mike Knuble put a lot pucks in front of the net, but they simply could not score. Of all the Caps players, they’re the two for whom this axiom is most likely true: the goals will come.
• Tim Thomas. Dammit. I honestly thought he retired last year. Why couldn’t they have started the guy who pilots the Millennium Falcon in Jedi? What’s his name? Tuukka Rask.
• Given how tired everyone looked tonight, is it possible that Michal Neuvirth shared his flu bug with his teammates? Or is that too conspiratorial? Are we wearing tin-foil hats?

Joe B's suit-of-the-night

Alright, let’s put this night to bed. The Caps lost this game in the same fashion they lost Tuesday, but all is not lost. They’ve amassed two hours of valuable footage detailing precisely how not to play ice hockey. Their injured players are on the mend. Their healthy players are fed up with losing. They’re motivated, insurgent, and- most of all- Angry.

The only forlorn folks out there are we fans.  We’ll have to power through. If we can make it to Saturday, everything will be fine. Everything will be fine. Pretty please.

Washington Capitals Defensive Prospect Dmitri Orlov.

For the elitist few of you who have the NHL Network (the Russian Machine hates you and your fancy Cable options), you’ve had the opportunity to watch the WJC, or the World Junior Hockey Championships. It’s basically an annual event organized by the International Ice Hockey Federation (IIHF) which showcases some of the best under-20 players from around the world.

Our beloved Washington Capitals are lucky enough to have 4 players representing them in the tournament this year. The prestigious list includes awesome 2008 First Round Draft Pick John Carlson (USA), 2008 7th Round Draft Pick and Japers Rink favorite Stefan Della Rovere (Canada), 2009 First Round Pick Marcus Johannson (Sweeden), and this post’s namesake 2009 Second Round Draft Pick Dmitri Orlov.

Despite the fact our dear Ruskies were upset in OT by Switzerland 3-2 in the Quarter-Finals Saturday afternoon and were eliminated, we figured it was as good a time as any to ask our resident Translator & Moscow native Fedor Fedin to dig up some information on the relatively unknown 18 year old Orlov. Here’s what he found out:

Who’s Dmitri Orlov?

Q’s and tranlation by Fedor Fedin, A’s by Evgeni Starikov, a huge fan of Metallurg Novokuznetsk -currently Orlov’s team.

Q: The public at large in the U.S. knows only that Orlov is a D-man. Is he a “stay-at-home” defenseman (like Volchenkov) or an offensive defenseman (like Gonchar)?

A: I would say it’s offensive… But we don’t know what the coach says in the locker room. He’s not a “stay-at-home” defenseman, that’s for sure. His attacking skills have actually led him to play some games as a forward. He scored twice that game.

Q: What are his strengths?

A: It’s too early to say, as it’s only his 1st full season as a KHL player. But he’s a good skater and can lead the rush well. Did you see this crazy goal against Torpedo? Ed. Note Fast Forward to 1:13 to see an absolute sick, Mike Green-eque goal:

Q: What does Orlov need to improve on?

A: Everything! Even in weight and build. I would say, that he needs to continue to improve everyday. He must force himself to continue to upgrade his skills. It seems he needs to improve his discipline on the ice. I’ve seen some of his defensive lapses. They are terrible! But he’s played with Maxim Galanov on the first Defensive pair. It’s good for experience. And the current coach of Metallurg Novokuznetsk is a former Defenseman. He has teachers to learn from.

Q: Do you think Dmitri is ready to play in the NHL?

A: NO! I think, he understands that too. I think that it’s far better for him to play couple of years in KHL, and mature as a player. But it’s good for him to visit NHL camps, too. The best way to put it is: Orlov is fertile clay, but he needs a potter for him to continuing developing. And he has to learn English!

Q: Does he have a chance to become an NHL superstar like Mike Green?

A: Mike Green? We call Orlov The Russian Bobby Orr!

Q: When do you think Orlov will make the NHL?

A: I suppose that Dmitri will play for Metallurg another year then he will go for Salavat Yulaev (for example). After 2 years there he’ll probably go to DC.

Here’s what other Russian fans think about Orlov, which has been translated from Metallurg’s fan site.

Q: The public at large in the U.S. knows only that Orlov is a D-man. Is he a “stay-at-home” defenseman or an offensive defenseman?

A: Atacking, like Gonchar (F@nat)

Q: What are his strengths?

A: Great skater, finding partners in attack, strong shot, leadership. Positioning in defense, shot accuracy. (Sergoffan)

A: Skating, strong and accurate “first pass” (starting attack), strongest shot in Metallurg

A: I think, it’s technique and skating. Pretty good shot (F@nat)

Q: What does he need to improve on?

A: Defensive play. He has some failures. Toughness and force, too (F@nat)

Q: Do you think Dmitri is ready to play in the NHL now?

A: Not at this moment. He needs to work couple of years with strong coaches and partners in Russia (Sergoffan)

A: Dima should go to NHL after 3 years. Now he has to get some experience in Russia, and try to make the roster of the National Team (Schtuzer)

A: I think, he’s not ready (F@nat)

Q: Does he have a chance to become an NHL superstar like Mike Green?

A: Chances always exist (F@nat)

A: He will be a star in the NHL in 5 years. But no earlier… (Schtuzer)

A: He has the potential for this. But the people he will meet in next year is very important (Sergoffan)

Q: What’s Orlov like in real life?

A: He’s an amazing guy. He’s kind, fair, and honest. He isn’t arrogant. He will be captain for Russia in a couple of seasons (Schtuzer)

A: Captain, Man… (Sergoffan)

Q: When do you think Orlov will leave for the NHL?

A: I think, he’ll go to America in the next year. In NHL – in 2 seasons (F@nat)

A: He’ll leave Russia in 1-2 years. Next steps will depend on his play in America (Sergoffan)

In Summary, it seems like the Capitals have potentially found another Offensive Gem on the Backline in Orlov if he continues to develop.