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Kevin Dineen needed more than a timeout tonight. (GIF by welshhockeyfan)

The Florida Panthers opened tonight’s game against the Washington Capitals with four straight shots on Braden Holtby in the first 1:44 of game action. They looked sharp. They looked ready to get out of the Southeast division cellar. The wheels fell off 24 seconds later.

As John Erskine wound up from the Panthers’ blue line — in what he would later admit was just a dump-and-change — Florida’s starting goaltender Jacob Markstrom mis-judged Erskine’s blast and allowed the puck to squeak through his seven-hole. 1-0 Caps.

2:36 later, the Capitals would score on their very next shot, as Markstrom was caught off guard by Wojtek Wolski‘s strong net crash. Enter Scott Clemmensen.

Clemmensen gave up two more goals — one to John Carlson and another to Mike Ribeiro — in the next six shots. The Capitals received a standing ovation and headed into intermission with a 4-0 lead, their biggest goal explosion this season.

“I don’t know what to say,” Markstrom told reporters after the game. “It was terrible. I feel like I let the team down. I am there to stop pucks, and I didn’t do that tonight.”

The Capitals beat the Panthers 7-1.

Now enjoy fun facts from the first period –plus video of all  four goals.

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Maria Kirilenko and Ovi's father Mikhail celebrate Sasha's hat trick

Maria with her Slapshot stuffed animal. Dad gives thumbs up. (GIF by welshhockeyfan)

Attending Saturday’s Washington Capitals game, Alex Ovechkin’s fiancée Maria Kirilenko got a special treat. Ovi scored a hatty for the first time in over two years.

While CSN Washington didn’t pan to Kirilenko sitting in the lower bowl, the Devils broadcast on MSG drank from the Ovi-Kirilenko well a lot. They zoomed in on her celebrating with Ovi’s father Mikhail (giving the thumbs up) after Ovechkin’s third goal. MSG’s Deb Placey interviewed Kirilenko during the second period, after Ovi scored his first goal of the night.

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Kirilenko Shows off Ring from Ovechkin - YouTube

Maria Kirilenko reached the fourth round of the Australian Open by beating Belgium’s Yanina Wickmayer in straight sets. Speaking with Some Guy after the game, Maria showed off her engagement ring to Alex Ovechkin. Ovechkin, by the way, is a name that interviewer seemed unable to say. Maria took it all in stride, turning an awkward interview into a pretty darn charming moment.

Nice catch, Ovi.

One piece of breaking news: Maria says the couple has not set a wedding date yet.

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On Wednesday, Alex Ovechkin and the rest of his Dynamo Moscow teammates jumped back on the ice after a two-day break. The Russian machine, who got engaged to Maria Kirilenko on New Year’s Eve, talked about the nerve-racking experience of proposing to Maria and what it was like to spend New Year’s at home with his family.

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Alex Ovechkin and Maria Kirilenko Show Off Their Engagement Ring

On New Year’s Eve, Alex Ovechkin shattered the earth with news that he and his tennis-superstar/girlfriend Maria Kirilenko had gotten engaged. If we go by the accompanying photo Sasha tweeted out, we can assume the two played pond hockey before the Russian machine popped the question. Yeah. It’s that cute.

But the ring. What about the engagement ring? Ovi’s pic of the two together showed both of them wearing hockey gloves. That doesn’t do us any good.

On New Year’s day, Ovechkin tweeted out a photo of the two together by the tree (the Christmas decorations are amazing), as Maria prominently displays some bling on her right hand.

The ring is still too tiny for gossip, so our friends over at CSI:Miami have lent us one of their fancy-schmancy computer enhancement programs so we can get a better look.

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BREAKING: Alex Ovechkin and Maria Kirilenko Are Engaged

Alex Ovechkin and Maria Kirilenko are engaged

“Is marriage now!” (Photo credit: @Ovi8)

After Dynamo Moscow’s last game — a 4-2 loss to CSKA, Alex Ovechkin seemed to be really, really looking forward to the New Year’s holiday. “We need to forget this [loss] because New Year’s is round the corner,” Ovechkin told SportBox.ru. “We’ll see relatives, loved ones, friends and we’ll have to forget about this defeat. It’s not the end of the world, is it?”

Now via an excited tweet today from Ovechkin, we know why.

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On Sunday, the Russian television channel NTV published an in-depth feature on Alex Ovechkin, which included interviews from Tatiana Ovechkin (his mom), Mikail Ovechkin (his dad), Maria Kirilenko (his super-hot, super-talented girlfriend), and the man himself. While we haven’t had time to translate the Russian yet, you need to see this video featuring new footage of young Ovi. And warning: it’s dangerously adorable, so don’t operate any heavy machinery while viewing.

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Photo: Alex Ovechkin Meets Dr. Dre in Moscow

Photo via @Ovi8

Alex Ovechkin is already among the gr8est hockey-slash-rappers of all-time, but if he can team up with six-time Grammy winner Dr. Dre that title will be indisputable . Over the weekend, Ovi met Dre, in Russia to  promote his grotesquely-overpriced-but-actually-pretty-good Beats By Dre headphones.  The Master of Mixology, the pioneer of the G-Funk Era, the man who gave the world Snoop Dogg and Eminem, the guy who’s been in the lab with a pen and a pad trying to get this damn label off apparently hung with Ovechkin and Maria Kirilenko at a VIP party in downtown Moscow.

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GIF created by flawlessrussians.

Last summer, it was Fatgate. Slouchgate. Whatever. Rumors swirled that Alex Ovechkin had packed on a few pounds. Not like Byfuglien weight, but more than his once lithe frame was used to. We dismissed the scandal, and Ovechkin played perfectly fine, but maybe there was something to it after all.

Speaking with Alexey Karpenko of VTBRussia.ru last month, Ovechkin came clean about his fitness these last few years and what has changed. (Spoiler: it’s Maria.)

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