Note: I’m writing this post heavily medicated and a day after right-leg surgery. Yes, I’m hockey-player tough.

While the Washington Capitals got outplayed in the first period of Saturday’s game against the Jets, they came out strong in the second , scoring some goals and getting a little cocky. I love it when my favorite team gets cocky. Particularly because it can lead to a line brawl, one started by five-foot, ten-inch (yeah right) French Canadian Mathieu Perreault.*

After absorbing a legal shoulder-check from tough guy defenseman Zach Bogosian, Perry decided to get a lil’ saucy and slash Bogosian in the legs. Bad idea.

Where is Ovi going? (Jets feed video from welshhockeyfan)

Bogosian puts Perreault in a headlock, and everyone gathers at the red line, fash-washin’ and brawlin’. Two important developments occur.

First: Hendy Face. It’s just a little bit tougher than Oates Face.

Hendy Face

GIFs by welshhockeyfan

Second, Karl Alzner: Tough Guy Edition makes his first appearance since January 13, 2012, when he threw down with Steve Downie.

Watch as Karl forcefully removes the plumpest guy in the league, Dustin Byfuglien, from the scrum with ease.

Enforcer Karl Alzner

GIFs by welshhockeyfan

I love Alzner.

Then, a few minutes later, Alex Ovechkin laughs at Mark Stuart, attempting to check the Russian machine with his hand around his throat.

Ovechkin is soooo very intimidated. Apparently Stuart doesn’t remember about the whole Russian machine not breaking thing.

* This is actually the second line brawl Mathieu Perreault has started. What’s the deal and why does he always play The Rag Doll role?