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This post is best viewed by playing the below video first before reading. (Photo: @cparrie)

Friday night, Washington Capitals defenseman Mike Green went to the Katy Perry concert with his wife, Courtney. The pop star is playing at the Scotiabank Saddledome in Calgary tonight, Green’s hometown. Now some of you out there might think, oh man, that is not an event I would want people to know I’m going to. Instead, Green let a friend take a photo of him and his wife before the show and oh my god do you see what he’s wearing this IS AMAZING.

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Mike Green is Honeymooning in Paris (Photos)

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Photo: @no52

Washington Capitals defenseman and recently married man Mike Green just posted a photo of his honeymoon. He and wife Courtney Parrie Green are in Paris. “Just a nice dinner along the Sienne River France,” Green wrote, along with the hashtag #eiffeltower.

As one commenter put it on Instagram, that’s “disgustingly adorable, you guys.” Seconded.

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More Photos From Mike Green’s Wedding

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Photo: @heraweddingsandevents

On Saturday, Washington Capitals defenseman Mike Green got married to longtime girlfriend Courtney Parrie, causing a mild panic among some of our female readers. Details of the ceremony are scant, but a few more photos emerged on Sunday evening.

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Mike Green Got Married, Looked Excellent

mike green married

Photo by @paul_dubs

Washington Capitals defenseman and fashion icon Mike Green has gotten hitched. Green married girlfriend Courtney on Saturday night in Calgary, as documented by Green’s friend Paul Woloshyn on Instagram.

Green, freshly shaven, looked slim in a simple tux with a bowtie.

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caps-shorthanded-goal

Photo: Patrick Smith

The Washington Capitals had one of the best power plays in the league last season. They scored 68 goals on 278 opportunities for a 23.4 percent conversion rate, just behind Pittsburgh. They fired 85.8 unblocked shot attempts per 60 minutes on the PP, just behind San Jose. The Caps power play was deadly, but it was not perfect.

The Caps allowed ten shorthanded goals, the fourth highest total in the league. Alex Ovechkin, who played 93.2 percent of the Caps power play, fittingly, was on ice for 9 of those 10– sending his plus-minus, which is dumb and so is your face, down even further.

When we talk about things we want for the 2014-15 Capitals, ‘continued success on the power play’ is always part of it. But the Capitals should also look into what went wrong while playing a man up. Because it’s summer, and because I was worried that story about optimism might have made you unacceptably chipper, here’s a dour collection of 2013-14′s shorthanded goals and an assessment of who was to blame for each. Let’s party.

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orpik

The Washington Capitals’ defense was really bad last season. Adam Oates and George McPhee suited up fourteen (!) defensemen over the course of the season and got little success for their effort. Fixing the blue line was priority one in free agency for new GM Brian MacLellan, and he delivered in a big way, bringing ex-Pens Matt Niskanen and Brooks Orpik to town (as well as their former defensive coach, Todd Reirden).

The new Caps D-corps is definitely improved– but at a great cost. Orpik and Niskanen cost a combined $11.25M per season. Washington now sports the most expensive defense in the league (more than Philly once you factor in Chris Pronger’s sadly never-ending LTIR). With all that– rather pricey– new blood, let’s explore how the Caps might line up in October.

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Trotz MacLellan (11 of 13)

Photos by Chris Gordon

Early Monday, the Washington Capitals announced that they had promoted Ross Mahoney, who has been the Caps’ director of amateur scouting for the past 16 seasons, to the vacant assistant general manager position.

At 1pm, Caps GM Brian MacLellan held a conference call with reporters to talk about Mahoney’s promotion, but the discussion quickly turned to everything else.

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Mike Green: 2013-14 Season Review

Oh boy. Mike Green. Is there any more polarizing figure to Caps fans? Is he too soft for the NHL? Is Muscle Milk any good?

The answer to all three questions is No. I think.

By the Numbers

70 Games played
22.2 Average time on ice per game
9 Goals
29 Assists
51.7% Shot attempt percentage during 5v5
44.8% Goal percentage during 5v5
6.9% On-ice shooting percentage during 5v5
91.4% On-ice saving percentage during 5v5

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obi-speaks

Photo: Chris Gordon

On Monday, the Washington Capitals held Breakdown Day at Kettler Capitals Iceplex. For two hours, Caps players filed out of the locker room and conducted exit interviews with the media. Because of the whole no playoffs thing, there were a lot of long faces.

There’s about three hours of interview video to surf though on Monumental Network. Because I hate myself and care only about you, dear reader, I’ve transcribed all the key quotes. And because this is RMNB, I also pointed out the fashion choices. Sadly, there was no crazy hair this year.

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Off to the Golf Course: Caps Breakdown Day in Photos

Breakdown Day (6 of 12)

NHL plus-minus spokesman and hair model Alex Ovechkin speaks for the final time this year. (Photos by Chris Gordon)

Monday was an odd day at Kettler Capitals Iceplex. We entered the day expecting to Adam Oates and George McPhee shed some light of their respective fates — or at least try to defend their time here.

Instead, we got an awkward stand-off with reporters. Within minutes of a spokesman announcing that McPhee would not be meeting the media, the general manager walked out to an area clearly visible to reporters. He chose to hold court with Connor Carrick in front of the entire Capitals press corps before reiterating that he would not speak today.

McPhee’s job — if he doesn’t leave of his own volition — is now in the hands Caps owner Ted Leonsis, who has never fired a general manager.

There were, however, other things that happened at Kettler on Monday: Jay Beagle got asked what he thought of Jay Beagle centering Alex Ovechkin, Dustin Penner ignored reporters to play with his phone, and Brooks Laich said that he really, really, really believes he’s healthy again.

Below, take a look at some of my photos from the day.

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