so-caps

This is so Capitals.

All season long, the Washington Capitals have had recurring momentary lapses in judgement in which they forget how to hockey. That’s why the Caps won’t be making the playoffs for the first time in six years, and now I’ve got a drinking problem.

On Saturday at Nassau Coliseum, Mike Green and Jason Chimera illustrated how to do the worst breakout ever. Instead of establishing possession and exiting the defensive zone, they crashed into each other full speed right in front of their own goal.

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He’s just having fun out there.

1,358 days after being drafted by the Washington Capitals in the 2010 NHL Entry Draft, Evgeny Kuznetsov has finally recorded his first NHL point. Not one to settle, Kuzya then got a jaw-dropping assist on Tom Wilson‘s third goal of the year and recorded a secondary assist on a Mike Green goal.

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The Risk and Reward of Dmitry Orlov and Mike Green

OrlovGreenFlyers

Photo: Evan Vucci

Thursday night, defense partners Mike Green and Dmitry Orlov were on the ice for two goals against. On Florida’s first goal, Jesse Winchester torched Orlov, blowing past him on the far wall. For the Panthers second goal, the duo left men wide open in front of Braden Holtby before Brad Boyes flipped the puck in.

Sunday afternoon, however, the pair was brilliant — at least for the first 50 minutes. Orlov had the first multi-goal game of his career while Green racked up three assists. It’s usually a zero-sum game with Greenlov: they either win big or lose badly.

Today, though, it was both. With 10 minutes left in game, Orlov went after Brayden Schenn, who had just hit him behind the net. Dima unleashed a brutal board in the corner, receiving a well-deserved five minute major. The Flyers got scored on the ensuing power play. They added two more to stun the Caps in their first game back at home since the Olympic break. Orlov and Green, naturally, were on the ice for the game-tying goal.

“He didn’t change,” head coach Adam Oates said of Orlov’s hit. “He was on the same shift and he went right back after him.”

“You’ve got to suck it up when it’s your turn,” the coach continued. “They hit hard too. They’re big boys too. They’ve got to push, they’re losing. They’ve got to push. We’ve got to be able to handle that.”

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The Florida Panthers had erased two two-goal leads on Monday night, but the Capitals had a chance to finish them off late in the third.

Exiting the penalty box, Mike Green was set on a one-on-zero breakaway. As he neared the paint, Florida goalie Tim Thomas fell– opening up the net for a layup game-winner with deadly casualness.

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BooneJennerMikeGreen

The hit that injuried Green. (Photo: Jamie Sabau)

Injuries could sink the Washington Capitals. Just as they started to bounce back from the seven game losing streak, three players have been forced from the lineup.

First, Mikhail Grabovski twisted his ankle when he was hauled down in the crease. There’s no timetable for his return and he isn’t traveling with the team.

Next, Mike Green got hit up high by Boone Jenner in the second period on Thursday. Green’s head was slammed violently into the end boards. He appeared shaken and didn’t return to the game. Green missed Friday’s contest in Detroit.

Finally, Brooks Laich was shut down in the third period on Friday after his groin “was getting a little tight,” according to head coach Adam Oates. That’s bad news for Brooks, who missed almost all of last season with the injury. The forward claimed they had finally found the cause, but after missed practices and now missed game time, that’s clearly not the case.

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mike-green-head-slams-into-boards

The Washington Capitals stunk in the first period of their road game against the Columbus Blue Jackets, but the damage was just one goal against. And then Mike Green went down.

Columbus’ Boone Jenner skated with Mike Green behind the Capitals net. Jenner shoved Green off balance as they crossed the red line and Green crashed awkwardly into the corner boards. That wasn’t so bad, but Jenner came crashing in after him, smearing Green’s head and neck into the glass.

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mike-green-100th-career-goal

Photo credit: Kevin Hoffman

Washington Capitals defenseman Mike Green scored his long-delayed 100th NHL goal against the Sabres on Tuesday night, and it was nifty.

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Standings Free Fall: Devils Top Caps 2-1

DevilsGoal

Ugh. (Photo: Andy Marlin)

Just like Alex Ovechkin, ya boy Peter was out with an injury tonight. Undisclosed for those asking. I’m nursing the flu. We’re sort of like the Caps of Caps blogs right now.

Embarking on five game road trip with their dads in tow, the Caps headed to newly Cory Booker-less Newark for date with the Devils. Allowing the fewest shots per game in the NHL and featuring the blue-hot Cory Schneider, New Jersey didn’t look like great opponent to get Washington’s hapless offense going. They weren’t. Yep, it’s gonna be one of those again.

As usual these days, the game got off to a horrid start. Five minutes in, Dmitry Orlov made another silly mistake, fumbling the puck in the Caps offensive zone. Steven Gionta and Ryan Carter went the other way on the odd-man break. Shockingly, Mike Green did not misplay the 2-on-1. It wasn’t enough. The puck snuck past Michal Neuvirth off the blade of Gionta.

Early in the second, Adam Henrique put the Devs up by two with Orlov in the box for holding. Jaromir Jagr made the play, fabulously skating through the Capitals defense before feeding the puck in front for his second assist of the game. Facing this Capitals offense, it looked like that was all New Jersey needed.

Jason Chimera, however, had other ideas. Midway through the third, he deflected a John Erskine shot from the point for his third goal in seven games. It wasn’t enough though.

Seven in a row. Devils top Caps 2-1.

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mike-green

Photo credit: Brace Hemmelgarn

The folks who were clamoring for more hockey coverage by Washington Post columnists are probably kicking themselves right now. Mike Wise’s Thursday night column, “It’s time for the Washington Capitals to move defenseman Mike Green,” is a jumble of ill-advised analysis culminating in that titular recommendation, which doesn’t make sense.

In his defense, Wise’s piece is charming, and he does a splendid job summarizing the Capitals woes. I don’t think anyone would disagree with his first sentence:

Something has to change.

But Wise’s choice of Thing What Needs Changing is totally capricious, and I hope no one in the Capitals front office takes it seriously.

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Erik Karlsson and Mike Green Hug During Scrum

You might want to turn the sound on. (Vine via @SeanGentille)

The imagery above has been making the rounds on Reddit and Twitter this morning. It’s so glorious that I figured I’d share it with you.

On Tuesday night, as Mikhail Grabovski got the claws out with Zach Smith and an angry Cory Conacher tried to literally separate Eric Fehr’s head from his torso, Erik Karlsson and a late-arriving Mike Green embraced each other at center ice like long-lost bros. Instead of getting involved in the fracas, the two offensive defenseman caught up and enjoyed their front row seats to some hockey carnage. Wouldn’t you?

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