Photo credit: Joel Auerbach

Thursday night, the Washington Capitals moved into a playoff spot for the first time all year, taking over first place in the Southeast Division. Tonight, the Caps fought to defend their position against Miami’s other other other other team, the Florida Panthers. And they did.

OVI SCOAR, RIBEIRO SCOAR, OVI SCOAR, OVI SCOAR (ruined by Hendricks penalty), OVI SCOAR, HATS, Florida goals we don’t care about. Caps beat Cats 4-3.

There are only a few bullets tonight because Peter isn’t here and I’m stupid. You do, as always, get Joe B.’s suit of the night, crappy jokes, and a comment section. RMNB is always full service.

• The Caps were healthy for about 5 minutes before the injury bug hit again. First, Brooks Laich went down Thursday after possibly aggravating his groin problem (and seemingly taking a puck to the pucks). Tonight, it was Martin Erat‘s turn, who was slammed into the boards in just his fourth period with the Caps. Marty looked to be in a great deal of pain after his awkward meeting with the wall courtesy of Erik Gudbranson, who received five minute major and a game misconduct for his troubles. Suddenly, Washington is without top-six depth once again. We’ll wait to see how bad both injuries are.
• Last time out, Alex Ovechkin had his nine game scoring streak broken. That must have pissed him off — at lot. Ovi had two hat tricks tonight (Matt Hendricks ruined the first one by taking a roughing penalty just before the puck went in). After a slow start, Ovi looks positively 2008-y right now, with 13 goals in 11 games. He is now tied for second in the NHL in goals with 23 tallies. Four points on the night for the Great Eight.
• When asked by Locker during the second intermission if he felt any different during his recent hot streak, Ovi responded “I feel always great.” Same, Alex. Same.
• One more bullet on Ovi’s hat trick. This one doesn’t say anything, but I just wanted to point out OVI HAD A HAT TRICK again.
• Speaking of hot players, Mike Green would have extended his goal streak to five games if not for a pesky post. Screw you, post. Ribz popped in the rebound though.
• The Caps went three for five on the power play tonight. Their man-advantage unit has slowed down recently, but the ill-tempered Panthers gave them plenty of time to bump up their numbers once again. And the Caps used it well.
• Washington kinda sorta feel asleep in the third with a big lead. The Panthers made them pay as Tomas Kopecky, Peter Mueller, and Kopecky again tallied for FLA. The game wasn’t nearly as close as it looked in the end, but it goes to show what happens when you stop playing. They do say a four goal lead is the toughest in hockey.
• Joel Ward went one for one in the faceoff dot. Woo.

Joe B. Suit of the Night

The Caps fought hard to claw their way from fourth to first in the New York Yankees of hockey divisions in just three weeks. (Get it? ‘Cause the Southeast and the Yankees both kinda stink. I know, I’m clever.) They’re healthy (well, they were a few days ago), used to The System, and firing on all four of their cylinders. The Caps have 7 of their remaining 10 games at home and Carolina and Winnipeg have both been faltering lately. It looks like we’ll probably be playing hockey come tourist season, so don’t spend all your money on Nats tickets just yet.

Peter will be back with you tomorrow when the Bolts come to DC. Also, it’s gonna be really nice out so I suggest you go look at some trees with a billion other people.

And oh yeah, ALEX OVECHKIN HAD A HAT TRICK.

Heading into their game against Ottawa on Tuesday, the Capitals had won only once in their first five games. But after getting their first win of the year against Buffalo Sunday, the boys were loose and confident after their morning skate. For example, watch as Mike Vogel interviews Mike Ribeiro and Alex Ovechkin crashes the interview.

Oh hai, Ovi. (GIF by cadetsandkings)

Unfortunately, that confidence didn’t translate on the ice, as the Caps lost their fifth game of the year and fell behind division-leading Tampa by seven standings points.

Ovechkin, who had two measly shots on net, managed to crash one other thing in Ottawa: Craig Anderson’s crease. After attempting The Move, Ovi falls down and bowls over the Ottawa netminder.

GIF by welshhockeyfan

Not shown: Anderson patting him on the tushie afterwards.

Since I’m a superstitious person, Ovi, you may no longer insert your lovely Russian face into your teammate’s interviews anymore.

Neuvy run over during the second period. (Photo credit: Mel Evans)

[Editor's Note: Peter Hassett wisely took the opportunity to leave DC this week. Ian Oland is in protective custody. Chris Gordon has joined the circus on the trapeze. The PuckBuddys are entirely responsible for this week's tragic events.]

“Nothing ever really goes away – it just changes into something else.” – Sarah Ockler.

There’s a last bit to that quote that we’ll share at the end. (Spoiler!) Still, we can’t help but watch the Capitals 2013 and wonder: what are they changing into? And where is this metamorphosis leading? Answers – now.

First period: Some early testing by the Caps heartens us. We like what we’re seeing on defense from Ward; once again, the Caps look dominant in the first. Can’t hear the name “Travis Zajac” without thinking about buying a vowel. Yes, that’s what we’re down to. Sadly, Jacob Josefson to Stephen Gionta (brother of Habs’ Brian) with a snapper past Neuvy puts them 1-up.

We feel you, Meryl.

Second begins with a dash to the Caps net, gobbled up by Neuvy. Mike Ribeiro and Jason Chimera denied what shoudda coudda been. Troy Brouwer passes to no one, which is somehow emblematic of the team this year. Phew! on a Neuvy save during a Devs attempt at a shortie, leading to both teams feeling a little better about themselves, while Martin Brodeur notches another lump on his coconut. Phew! again as Neuvy (again) saves the Caps on a Devils PP. Tonight is a good night for Neuvirth, so heck, let’s give him a 5-on-3 because why not? Of course,  Patrik Elias scores (nothing you can do, Neuvy) bringing Devs up 2-o. Please let this end.

Last period starts with us wondering if the mullets (*ahem Carlson*) are slowing the Caps down. Adam Oates looks sour like the Dad in “That’ 70′s Show,” which we’re coming to understand. Caps PP yields zip, and we get another shot. MoJo sends it off to nowhere, and Phew! (3x) Neuvy saves the day. Finally, Ward knocks to Ribeiro and the Caps are on the board, 2-1. And then HURRAH! Greenie sends a sizzler into the net, Caps tied 2-2 with less than three minutes remaining. An almost heart-stopper brings us to:

OT: Pushups everyone! Hero becomes the goat as Greenie gets sent to the penalty box and Caps go on PK. Neuvy is on his best game tonight: how many times can we “Phew!”? Caps kill effectively kill the penalty, while Ovechkin is sleep-skating. Twenty seconds to go and Ilya Kovalchuk takes advantage of Ovi’s slop, firing it past Neuvy and ending the game.

SCORE: Devils  3, Capitals 2.

• Sarcasm Is Still Dead: Our jousting at Caps ‘stars’ like Alzner and Carlson last night was off-pitch. We would blame our innate faulty wiring, but personally I think it’s the Nyquil. Either way, we still are not seeing high-dollar stars like Ovi and Backstrom – and Alzner and Carlson – perform where it counts, while they rely on Joel Ward, Matt Hendricks and Tom Poti. So let’s say it; some of the Caps stars appear to be over-paid…and under-performing. At least so far.
• Power Failure: Despite Mike Ribeiro’s 5-on-3 power play goal, the Caps power play still stinks. Is it anything more than guys randomly skating around? We’ll leave it to smarter people to dissect how, but it always comes down to guys not moving to keep the puck in their paint. And yes, we know what that means.
• No Sale: Win or loss, even by the first period we can say we’re still not sold on Ribeiro. OK, good head’s up play tonight – the Caps only score and still with three points on assists. But wasn’t he supposed to be the magic to bring back Ovi? What can we say, we’re not sold (not like we were buying.)
• Hold It There: So in the last four games, the Caps have been down two men three times. That’s not just bad luck or poor calls; it’s sloppy play.
• Remember Tummy Pats?: We’re finding it hard to do so. Is Ovechkin still even a Capital?
• Golden Gate Years: Wah wah, Marty Brodeur is old, shut up. Wanna talk durability? Professional jockey Russell Baze had his 50-thousandth career start today. At an average of 6 1/2 furlongs, that’s one and 1/2 times around the Earth, riding a thousand-pound rocket with hooves and teeth. The old dude is still better than anyone we have.

Nice tie, Joe.

What Did We Learn Tonight? Over the last two years GMGM seems to have slowly broken off pieces of what used to be the Capitals. For all of those we cut (Knubs, Varly, Jose, Aucoin, Sasha, et cetera) what have we got? What exactly are we building, and why was winning like we did a few years ago so bad?

Go ahead and crawl down my throat, but I’m going to start saying it: maybe it’s time for George McPhee to go.

The end to that Ockler quote? “Something beautiful.”  That’s what we want again; some beauty on ice.

What’s Next?: Sunday back at home with the Sabres. Meanwhile, we cry.

If it’s any consolation, the PuckBuddys are yielding back the keys to the RMNB Recap Car, meaning we fully expect the Capitals to start winning again. Yes, we’re taking it that personally.

Photo credit: Chris Gordon

Me neither.

Since the Caps last played hockey– sometime during the Medieval Warm Period, they’ve lost a few guys. Alex Semin left via free agency for Carolina, Mike Knuble returned to the exotic beauty of Michigan, Tomas Vokoun made a pit stop in Breezewood before heading up to Pittsburgh, and Dennis Wideman got such a ludicrous and undeserved payday in Calgary that you’d think he had left congress to start lobbying for the MPAA.

You’re gonna see some new faces on Saturday night, so here’s a quick refresher on the additions the Capitals made just before the lockout sucked the last ounce of joy out of the universe.

Mike Ribeiro, #9, Center

The fabled second-line center. Ribeiro comes to the Caps from Dallas, where he was a star in both name and deed. We can expect the man whom Oates mistook for a rapper (is it the chain?) to anchor a line in the top six, where he will be expected to reinvigorate the Caps offense. I’m really worried I’m gonna spell his name wrong (e before i, e before i).

Read RMNB coverage of Mike Ribeiro

Wotjek Wolski #17, Left Wing

Let’s start with this: pronounce the Ws like Vs. Wolski did some cool stuff in Colorado, but he kinda washed out in New York and Florida. He’s had some abdominal or groin injury that cost him a chance at a big contract, allowing George McPhee so snatch him up cheap. Wolski is playing on a one-year, $600k– making him a low-risk/decent-reward gamble. I think we will see Wolski do some great things — but only if he’s getting a chance in the top six.

Read RMNB coverage of Wojtek Wolski

Joey Crabb #15, Right Wing

I think I’m in the minority here, but I like the Joey Crabb signing. Crabb is a grinder, a responsible shutdown forward who could free up guys like Joel Ward to do more offensive production. But it’s not all smiles and sunshine; I think I speak for all of us in expressing my existential dread at the forthcoming puns coming out of Adam Vingan’s twitter feed.

Read RMNB coverage of Joey Crabb

Jack Hillen #38, Defense

Hillen did not get a qualifying offer from Nashville, and so George McPhee plucked the defender from the purifying waters of Lake Minnetonka. A few weeks ago, Hillen seemed like a crucial addition to the Caps’ defensive depth, but if Tom “Iron Groin” Poti is truly in good health, Hillen could be riding the pine for a bit. That’s a good thing.

Read RMNB coverage of Jack Hillen

What are your expectations for these guys? And what kind of awful puns will Adam drop on us this year?