Ryan Remiorz

Photo: Ryan Remiorz

I hate goalies. I want all the games to end 7-5 and all the goalie to leave dejected. I didn’t get what I wanted on Saturday afternoon. The goalies for Washington and Montreal were buttoned up tight– keeping this game scoreless all the way though #rego.

Then, in overtime, Patches got a deflection to beat Braden and win it for the Habs,

Habs beat Caps 1-0 in overtime.

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Caps at Habs Pregame: Back-to-Back Brunch Games

price

He’s still too pretty to be hurt.

Hoo boy, how much fun was that last game? I still can’t get over it.

But I need to get over it. Here comes the Montreal Canadiens, who are not good enough to deserve their number-two slot in the Atlantic Division. The Habs are on their way down, and with a little luck our Caps will help their along way.

Puck drops at– [checks watch]– wow, 1 PM. It’s on NHLN and CSN. Let’s do it.

Team Record Possession PDO Power Play Penalty Kill
Washington Capitals 25-14-9 52.4% 100.3 24.1% 80.6%
Montreal Canadiens 31-13-3 48.8% 102.0 27.6% 84.9%

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Patrick McDermott

Photo: Patrick McDermott 

Dudes! Welcome back. Grab a Surge from the cooler and take a seat, let’s do a game recap.

The Washington Capitals, your preferred hockey team, hosted the Montreal Canadiens, who don’t even make us cry anymore, to open up the season. The Caps had poise for a bit but then they didn’t. We’re just 1.22% through the season, so that’s to be expected.

Andre Burakovsky scored just two minutes into his career, a nifty one from the slot set up by Troy Brouwer.

P.A. Parenteau tied it up halfway through the third, but the goal was washed out for goaltender interference. Tomas Plekanec’s marker a couple minutes later had no such controversy and tied the game. Rene Bourque scored late in the game with an ICBM to Holtby’s far side hahaha nope, hit the post, that’s what you get for being awful, Rene.

Those nullified goals gave us a dry scrape and the first overtime of the season, but no one could score. Dammit, back to the shootout, which the Caps did way too much of last season. But at least we get to do…

Shootout bullets!

  • Backstrom put the biscuit in the basket
  • Galchenyuk put the biscuit in the basket
  • Kuznetsov did NOT put the biscuit in the basket
  • Desharnais put the biscuit in the basket
  • Fehr put the biscuit in the basket
  • Parenteau did NOT put the biscuit in the basket
  • Ovi did NOT put the biscuit in the basket
  • Plekanec did NOT put the biscuit in the basket
  • Burakovsky did NOT put the biscuit in the basket
  • I regret going with this bit
  • Gallagher put the biscuit in the basket

Habs beat Caps 2-1 (Shootout).

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Habs at Caps Pregame: We are Back, PK Subban is Gassy

herewego

For the first time since April somethingth, here comes actual, meaningful Caps hockey! Live from Verizon Center at 7 PM and on CSN Washington. It’s time we got our first real look at the Trotz Caps. Oh snap.

Team Record Possession PDO Power Play Penalty Kill
Washington Capitals 0-0-0 Infinity% n/a DIV/0% NaNo%
Montreal Canadiens 1-0-0 Whoknows% ??? 0% 66.7%

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Francois Lacasse

How Russians ice fish. (Photo: Francois Lacasse)

The Washington Capitals hadn’t won a game since January 10th, and that was against the Toronto Maple Leafs, who are barely a hockey team. I don’t know why, but the Capitals thought, “hey, maybe we can end this seven-game losing streak against the Montreal Canadiens.” The Habs are the rogues of the PDO world, the Bael the Bard of hockey, most famous for felling the dominant 2010 Capitals and ruining our precious franchise for years. This shouldn’t have been the game where the Caps come back around again, but nothing makes sense in this stupid sport. The Capitals exploded for four goals in the second period and Braden Holtby earned a shutout to end an infinite long streak, recapture the team’s confidence, and make a whole bunch of attendant fathers happy.

Alex Ovechkin opened up scoring right after a second-period power play expired with one of the most lacrostic, greasy-yet-skillalicious goals Hogwarts has seen these many years. Then a puck that John Erskine didn’t even mean to shoot somehow found the twine to make it 2-0 Caps early in the middle frame. Jay Beagle got his first goal of the year, hitting a wide-open net thanks to Tom Wilson’s pass. On the delayed penalty, John Carlson lofted a lazy puck towards the net, improbably beating Carey Price thanks to a deflection.

Carey Price got pulled. Peter Budaj took the spot. Alex Ovechkin set up AHL stud Casey Wellman for his first goal of the year midway through the third.

Caps beat Habs 5-0! Braden Holtby gets the shutout! Losing streak over!

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The Montreal Canadiens Tonight in One GIF

Coming into Saturday’s game against the Montreal Canadiens, the Washington Capitals had lost seven straight games. Thankfully, the Habs made the Caps look like the hockey Harlem Globetrotters. The Canadiens allowed Washington to score four goals in the second period. After that fourth goal, the Caps had more tallies than the Habs had shots on net.

Understandbly frustrated, the Candiens’ Brendan Gallagher tried to break his stick at the end of the second stanza. He failed at that too.

Poor Habs.

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Neuvy Upsetted, Fehr Resplendent, Caps beat Habs 3-2 (SO)

beagle - Patrick Smith

Beagle is out of the doghouse do you get it doghouse his last name is a breed of dog. (Photo: Patrick Smith)

How was your Thanksgiving? Did you have a relaxing day full of casual conversation and limited stress? Weird, the Caps did the same thing on Friday night against the Montreal Canadiens. Showing no signs of fixing their endemic and fairly obvious problems,  the Caps gave away the lead with a slow start, allowed a goal right after they scored, and still got a W. How about that?

Danny Briere got denied on a wraparound attempt but forced it through Holtby’s five-hole for the only goal of the first period. Mikhail Grabovski cut Peter Budaj’s purse in the second and alleyed Eric Fehr’s oop to tie the game, but Tomas Plekanec tied it up less than two minutes later on an odd-man rush. With 5:27 left in the third, Eric Fehr set up Mikhail Grabovski for a big big big tying goal.

Into overtime we came and went. You know what’s next, right?

Shootout bullets!

  • Eric Fehr SUNK IT
  • Eller roofed it past Holtby
  • OVI SCOAR
  • Desharnais went wide, then short-side to score
  • Backstrom blockedstrom
  • Galchenyuk denied
  • Grabograbograbograbograbograbograbo grabo’d
  • Plekanec refused

Caps beat Habs 3-2 in the shootout! Losing Streak OVAR!

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Habs beat Caps 3-2, But What About the Vamwolfbies?

Neuvy sad - Patrick McDermott

Photo: Patrick McDermott

The Washington Capitals had a simple challenge when they faced the Montreal Canadiens on Friday. Back on Wednesday, the Capitals had managed exactly zero shot attempts on the Penguins before the game was out of reach. And while the possession game was a disaster, the team chose to blame it on “execution.”

inigo montoya word

After that bad start on Wednesday, the team had a simple task: do better in the first period this time.

Could they pull it off?

gladiator thumbs dow

No.

No, they could not.

A bad breakout pass from Alex Urbom to Mikhail Grabovski led to a turnover for the Habs, whose Travis Moen didn’t have much of a challenge from Mike Green: 1-0 Habs. David Desharnais tipped in a high puck to make it 2-0 in the first period. And then Danny Briere made it a three-spot converting a power play while Marty Erat was in the Sasha box.

Alex Ovechkin saved a bit of face with a very, very wide-angle shot to score on a late-period power play.

The second period was quiet, which is a bad thing if you were hoping for a Caps comeback and a good thing if you thought it could get even worse.

Alex Ovechkin got his 19th of the season tipping in a long bomb from John Carlson, but 6-on-5 didn’t earn the Caps a tying goal.

Habs beat Caps 3-2. Boo.

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Caps beat Habs 5-1: Alex Ovechkin is Good at Hockey

alex-ovechkin-celebrates-goal

Photo credit: Francois Lacasse

The Washington Capitals’ final road game of the season was a demonstrable blowout. The Montreal Canadiens, purportedly a good hockey team, played like a troop (sorry, troupe) of clowns led by their porous ringleader Carey Price. The Habs got just one past Braden Holtby, and the Caps served wings and discount pizza to their loyal fans.

Caps beat Habs 5-1.

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Francois Lacasse

Photo credit: Francois Lacasse

The Washington Capitals have had it too good for too long. After filling their greedy maws at the trough of the Southeast for so long, they traipsed up to French Canadia to lay a beating upon the beast of the Northeast, the Montreal Canadiens. The Habs, sporting one of the best power plays and possession numbers in the league, were a worthy foe, but the Caps had Ovi. And that’s all you really need these days. Just a big plate of Ovi and wash it down with some Backstrom. Put some greasy Fehr in there if you want, but Ovi is the main dish.

Caps beat Habs 3-2.

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