Photo credit: Francois Lacasse

The Washington Capitals’ final road game of the season was a demonstrable blowout. The Montreal Canadiens, purportedly a good hockey team, played like a troop (sorry, troupe) of clowns led by their porous ringleader Carey Price. The Habs got just one past Braden Holtby, and the Caps served wings and discount pizza to their loyal fans.

Caps beat Habs 5-1.

• Alex Ovechkin opened things up early with a five-on-five goal from his favorite powerplay spot. It was lazy-looking goal, but still good for Ovi’s 29th, still the league’s best. Better than all the rest.
• Troy Brouwer followed up a few minutes later with an outside shot, possibly tipped in by Mike Ribeiro, whose name I totally spell right all the time now without even checking it yeah. Those two goals comprised an electric start by the Caps– tilting the ice and making Carey Price like a decent backup goalie on an off-night who just happens to be debilitatingly attractive to some of the population around me as I write this.
• Troy Brouwer, despite struggling a bit on a talent-lite second line for much of the year, is producing like he’s in his prime. His second goal was a serene wrister from the circles, but hey it worked. And all of a sudden I’m regretting promising to wear zumbas to a party if Brouwer gets the hat.
• Daaaamn, that was a pretty power play goal. It took half the game for the Caps to go a man up, but they made it count when Ovechkin set up Backstrom a the back door for a goal so pretty the war room in Toronto pretended it was under review so they could watch it some more.
• The Capitals’ penalty kill rehabilitation tour continued in Montreal, where the PK unit withstood a whole bunch of man-down time terrifically, limiting the Habs to a handful of shots, maybe one or two real scoring opportunities, and a whole lot of effete French swear words.
• In a game where the Caps dominated puck possession, Aaron Volpatti saw more pucks go against his team than the other guys. That ain’t good and I still don’t get it. Hashtag Wolski for Masterton.
• A third period power play gave Alex Ovechkin his 30th goal of the season, and other sentences I did not think I’d write this year. I really do think Ovi is a real Hart contender, and I’ll explain why in the next day or two. For now, let’s just revel in the universally acknowledged and peer-reviewed fact that Ovi rocks your face.
• As the game pressed on, more and more attention was spent on Braden Holtby and his ability to refuse every shot sent his way. In the end, Patches was the first and only Canadien to best Braden. Whatever, s-words are silly anyway.

Joe B Suit of the Night

I wanna thank the PuckBuddys and Nellie’s for hosting a terrific viewing party. A good time was had by all, and enjoying a game like this is so much better when in the company of friends.

This win was big. Like literally big. I mean, not literally literally big, but definitely figuratively literally big. The Caps hold on to their lead of the Southeast, but Tuesday’s game against the Jets will still be literally gigantic.

Crash the net.

Photo credit: Francois Lacasse

The Washington Capitals have had it too good for too long. After filling their greedy maws at the trough of the Southeast for so long, they traipsed up to French Canadia to lay a beating upon the beast of the Northeast, the Montreal Canadiens. The Habs, sporting one of the best power plays and possession numbers in the league, were a worthy foe, but the Caps had Ovi. And that’s all you really need these days. Just a big plate of Ovi and wash it down with some Backstrom. Put some greasy Fehr in there if you want, but Ovi is the main dish.

Caps beat Habs 3-2.

• Despite a dominant opening five minutes by the Caps, the Canadiens grabbed an early lead. From behind the net, Prust sent a sneaky pass to late-man Lars Eller, who– and stop me if you’ve heard this one before– was eminently open in the Caps’ slot. Neuvirth didn’t have a chance– unless you expected him to abandon the net and mark a man.
• Alex Ovechkin was shotless nearly halfway through the game, but he scored on his first shot– a weird knucklepuck that Jim Palmer might describe as a “spoonball” between extended stories about himself. Ovi’s move before the shot was the lateral version of every between-the-legs move you’ve ever seen him do. It was gorgeous. Alex Ovechkin is your NHL goal-scoring leader. Alex Ovechkin is the captain of your hockey team. Alex Ovechkin is f#@(&ing awesome. UPDATE: Stamkos scored. We’re back in a tie.
• If Ovechkin gets a trophy– any trophy– be it Hart or Richard or Lindsay, shouldn’t Adam Oates get the Jack Adams? It was Oates who put him at right wing, paired him with Nicky Backstrom (after a too-long failed experiment with Ribeiro), and implemented a 1-3-1 system for the power play. These are Ovi’s goals, but Oates has his smudgy fingerprints on ‘em too.
• Two much quieter plays by Ovechkin I want to highlight: his diving block in the third period (btw Caps were block-crazy tonight– it was like 2010 playoffs in reverse) and his eagerness to deal away the puck in the offensive zone. Ovi did it twice– once in the second period to Johansson and once in the third to Backstrom. Ovechkin seems to have internalized the lesson that he need not touch the puck all the time; he need only touch it last.
• Jack Hillen sent a puck into Carey Price’s blocker pads. The shot went skyward and when it fell, the Caps had the lead. Eric Fehr got credit for the goal, which I didn’t necessarily see, but Fehr certainly deserves it, seeing as he was tilting the ice in the Caps’ favor while the rest of the team was getting mired in their own zone.
• Jack Hillen lost credit for that Fehr goal, but he finally recorded his first Capitals goal in the third period– an outside slapper screened by Alex Ovechkin, who is also awesome. Hillen has 4 points in the last 2 games. He’s been shutting down the opposition (he was basically white on Tavares’ rice last week) and driving play since his return. Some RMNBers were giving me grief about my praise of Hillen earlier, but I think I’ll just pre-emptively take their groveling apologies to le banque.
• Here’s my impersonation of Habs fans: le boooo, le boooo, le pepe le pew was really messed up if you think about it, le boo. If Verizon Center can do that: a) it’d be really annoying, and b) maybe the Caps could get some more friendly whistles. Whattaya guys say? Should we all become cranky canucks?
• Michal Neuvirth put forth the performance that he needed– and we all knew he had in him. Neuvy was pressured heavily in the back half of the first period and most of the second, but he was stout in net. He made a couple insane-o saves, and certainly justified Oates’ decision to play him in back-to-backs. I’m so glad to see the struggling netminder come into his own. Well done, Neuvy.
• Some Canadian guy scored a deflected goal past Neuvy with 3 minutes to go. Whatever.

Joe B suit of the night

Bailamos? Bailamos.

The Caps continue winning– somewhat improbably– dicey road games. Once again, they do it on the strength of Alex Ovechkin. But this time they do it against a truly elite team, a playoff team, a poutine-eating, wine-swilling, French-kissing team. This time they did it with decent possession (although they had to block a truckload of shots in the effort) and secondary scoring.

I’ve been one of the Caps’ biggest doubters, but I… think… the Washington Capitals might be legit. I’m not plotting any parade routes or anything, but I am genuinely excited to see what they do next. That’s a great feeling for a fan, and it’s one I’m so grateful to feel again.

Crash the net.

[Ed. note: Oh my. Here we are, once more, teetering on the precipice. Wisenheimers will tell you stat this and odds that. But the PuckBuddys roll different. Yes, PuckBuddy Jason Rogers is back again - you think you could scare him away? - with searing insights into the coming game. Which is, we all agree, big. As in... big. Like nobody frackin' breathe until we wrap this one up. It's a messy job, but someone has to do it. Even former Premier William MacKenzie King is watching. Here's Sperm Whale Jason.]

The Morning Skate: I don’t mean to rain, sleet, or snert on anyone’s victory parade, but the Capitals play in a garbage division. It’s a division so abysmal that next year it will be forever struck from the NHL pantheon, and utterance of its name will be forbade as heresy. But, I believe the Capitals are far and away the best team in the Southeast, the veritable creme d’ la crap, if you will. This game against a very good Habs team will provide a measuring stick for how far the Caps might go in the playoffs. So let’s hope that distance is measured in good ol’ American miles, and not kilometres (freakin’ socizlists.)

The Puck Drop: Secondly, this game matters because we mere mortals get to watch Alexander Ovechkin play hockey again. Now tied for the lead league in goals, OBESTkin is scoring all over the place like Maria ain’t watchin’ (BOOM.) Dale Hunter was content to use him like a tarp, lazily casting him across the penalty kill and hoping he made something happen… somehow. Adam Oates is using Ovi’s precision and power like a shotgun that shoots micro-scalpels.

What we say about Gretzky (bow your heads), we say about Sidney Crosby: he was always in the right place. And that, my friends, does not happen by accident, nor does it cheapen those goals. Good instincts are part of it, but so is having a smart coach who knows how to play his pieces. What we are watching right now is the sexy, sexy marriage of a brilliant coach with a prototypical weapon. Let’s see the Supreme Court disallow that! 

And that gives us a perfect opportunity to turn to the segment that the late Margaret Thatcher called “the last real chance Western civilization has” [like she knew]:

LIABLE TO LIBEL: A Baker’s Dozen Lies About Today’s Opponent

1. If you rearrange the letters in Carey Price’s name, it spells: Prairie Christ, Lord of the Land. [Ed note: Actually, Jason, it doesn't. Don't make us get all coal mine strike-breaky on you.]
2. The rest of the league finds Montreal’s insistence upon French-speaking coaches and players to be charming and not at all off-putting or absurd.
3. The main export of Quebec is an undeserved sense of superiority. And bad cheese.
   

   ummm….

4. When PK Subban joined the team as a rookie, veterans made him chug maple syrup and list every Canadian prime minister. He barely made it past William Lyon Mackenzie King. Rookie. [We choked at Sir Mackenzie Bowell.]
5. In the Habs locker room, sticks are called batons, players are called joueurs, and losses are called les petites morts. We call that: Hawhawhawhaw. Sic.
6. Every water bottle on the Montreal bench is actually filled with 1992 vintage Merlot, the lifeblood of the team. And their towels smell of brie.
7. Rene Bourque dares you to laugh at his first name. Come on, he dares you.
8. Similarly, Tomas Plekanac and David Desharnais will not acknowledge you until you pronounce their names exactly right. They rarely acknowledge anyone. Because… those names…
9. The Canadiens’ arena, the Bell Center, also lists its French name as Centre Bell. In case, you know, you weren’t sure.
10. The ice surface in Montreal is made out of frozen bottles of Evian, because, as Habs owner Geoff Molson puts it, “If you’re not skating on Evian, you may as well be skating in dirt.” We suggest LoKo.
11. 100% of proceeds from Canadiens home games go to providing cashmere sweaters for the city’s stray and under-dressed dog population.
12. When Samuel de Champlain first explored Quebec, he reportedly declared, “Bring me your stubborn masses yearning to speak French.” (Actually, guys, this is really funny.)
13. Before naming the team the Canadiens, Montreal ownership passed over more creative names like “The Hockey Team,” and “Dose Guys From Canada What Play Hockey.”

Here We Go Yo:

Health me health you! – Like Snooki’s biography, the Caps are not especially deep (spoiler alert: she smells like booze). But contrary to popular opinion, they’re not bereft of top-six talent, not by a long shot. Recent additions of Brooks Laich (from injury) and Martin Erat (from trade) lift the Caps, like a fine brassiere, from average to something to look at. [He can say that because he's a straight guy writing for a bunch of gay guys writing for a group of straight guys.]

Now of course, losing both of those gentlemen in the last two games makes things more difficult. It’s tricky, because the Caps need to stay healthy to win, but in order to win, they need to play the kind of high-intensity hockey that inherently puts you at risk for injury. As they say in hockey parlance, the Caps need to risk it to get the biscuit.

To Hillen Back Again – I was wrong about defenseman Jack Hillen. I may even be quoted on Twitter as having said:

@HeyJayJRogers: Jack Hillen sucks. Get him off the ice.

Deep, piercing analysis for sure. But what has Jacky shown us recently? How about shutting down the Islanders’ John Tavares and the Lightning’s Steven Stamkos like they were pimple-faced band geeks asking the popular girl to prom.

The Caps defense is spoken ill of more often than the Centers for Disease Control and more prone to injury than Kanye’s pride [look it up, kids!] Karl Alzner and John Erskine are consistent, reliable defenders. John “Towlie” Carlson and Mike “Groin Over” Green can be, and Jeff “Sargeant” Schultz is just awful (seriously, he plays like a nervous Weimeraner with strangers in the house).

That gives us Hillen, who subscribes to Pierre McGuire’ Advanced Theory of Hockey: To win a game of hockey, you must score more goals than your opponent. Jack understands that the fewer goals the other team scores, the fewer the Caps need to score to win. We all remember the Young Guns Caps teams that won games 5-4, 6-5 and so forth. This is not that team. This is a team that can win games 2-1. Jack Hillen is a big reason they are able to do that.

Swede and Sour – Nick Backstrom is a glorious Norse god. After quietly recording his 300^th career assist against Tampa, he now also quietly has 34 assists through 39 games, a pace that would leave him with 77 helpers in a full, idiot-proof season. Do not tell me the Capitals are not a better team when Backstrom plays. Don’t even tell me they aren’t a thousand times better. Nicky B is setting up guys left and right like an FBI informant, and you can bet he’ll be getting a lovely Christmas card from Alex Ovechkin.

On the other side of the Kroner you have Marcus Johansson, a tremendously talented forward who’s shown flashes of brilliance but has never found consistency. He roars across the blue line like a lion in a police line-up and can dangle like a Bush-Gore chad. He can’t seem to finish, however. Multiple times this year he’s been given a gift on the doorstep like an unexpected Amazon delivery, and like a hearse with a flat tire, failed to bury it. Great forwards score goals. If Johansson can figure out how to do that, we could have the best Swedish pair since Elin Nordegren. 

Which, yes we admit, is really mostly a hetero/homo test for y’all. You know how you passed.

The Late Line: That about sums it up. Now I, like you, will wait for puck drop at 7:30pm from Montreal. Play hard, play fast, and Allez les Capitals!

Oy. (Photo credit: Patrick McDermott)

[Editor's note: With RMNB's Peter Hassett out in California for the week, the PuckBuddys recap the latest Caps loss.]

Sometimes, platitudes are the only comfort we have. Like “Third time’s a charm!”  Or “All in to win!” Or “Shomer f—-n shabbos!” Yeah, like that.

Be real. We went into this game feeling queasy; like Taco Bell Doritos Volcano Nachos queasy. Walking into Verizon we were already outscored two-to-one in the first two games; an unappealing start. Some pointed fingers at Coach Adam Oates‘ inability to instill discipline. (Those worries may have been answered by Oates’ curious decision to bench Marcus Johansson and Matthieu Perreault, and then re-start Matty.) Some demurred that the team is still learning a new coach and new style, and we’re willing to go some distance here. A few fickle fingers pointed at under-production by Ovi, Holtby, Greenie, Carlson…

Enough. Tonight brought one hard answer: the Capitals aren’t firing.

The first frame saw some testing on both sides of the other’s defense. Good efforts by Green, Backstrom and Ribeiro, and a surprising amount of icing from Montreal. Michal Neuvirth made several great saves (a few too close,) and we were hopeful with Nicky’s late flick to Wojtek Wolski until Ovi spoiled that. The PPs yielded nada, leaving both teams relatively balanced both offensively and defensively (though the Habs lead with hits.)

Second period: oh crap, 5 on 3? Ovi and Brouwer leave the Caps naked, yet Beags and Carlson, while never clearing it out, keep the Caps alive. Then with only :04 in the first PP, Plekanec cracks one in (with Markov on the assist) bumping the Habs up 1-0. Moments later, Andrei Markov (with Pacioretty) snaps one over Neuvy’s shoulder bringing the Canadiens up 2-o. Oxygen slowly leaving Verizon. Can it get worse? Yes. Rene Bourque sails it down the side and snaps it to Brian Gionta, who knocks it past Neuvy, tippling the score at 3-o. You want more? Francis Bouillon, on assist from Josh Gorges, blows one past a clueless Neuvy; Habs go up 4-0, Caps fans register their displeasure.

Third quarter squishes out with pretty much everyone in the wrong spot at the right time. Shots still favoring the Caps, although you’d never know that. Time dribbles by, our RMNB editors suggest a game recap isn’t even worthwhile. We soldier on, as does Matt Hendricks. At least someone’s trying. So is Beags to Chimera to Joey Crabb! Well at least John Carlson’s hair won’t get shutout, even though he’ll get one last penalty.

SCORE: Canadiens 4, Capitals 1

• Circus of the Stars: It’s not a perfect measure, and we’re sure someone (all of you) out there will get all up in our grill about this, but this game saw better performance by those who are supposed to perform. By that we mean the stars: Greenie, Alzner, Carlson, and our newest star, Tom Poti. Of course, performance ultimately means winning, and what we’re seeing so far is more appropos of the Washington Generals. Leading to….
• It’s Not All First: These last three games the Caps have performed generally well in the 1st, actually scoring and defending. We’ve seen deflation in the second, and belated rebound in the third, too late. So, let’s shoot more in the second and third, and defend better.  In fact the Caps have spent far and away the majority of their time on the ice trailing. So that means…
• Rebound Nobound: It’s easy to say, and hard to do; we get that. But we’re seeing too many one-shot runs at the goal. Ovi, Green and Ribeiro seemed to work it hard, but we’re just not working well on second effort. We’re trying to be kind here, people.
• Mains Tied Behind Our Arrière: The Capitals roster hosts some of the most talented hockey players alive. What is going on that we have our hands tied behind our backs? Penalties have been pummeling us – just about every time we get one of our guys on the bench the other guys sink the puck. Of course it’s not time to…
• PANIC! FIRE EVERYONE! FIRE BOUDREAU AGAIN IF IT HELPS!  Oops.
• Honk Honk Honk: So hurrah, Horn Guy is back home, and the crowd rallied. The fans are ready for better. Better yet:
• RMNB Rules: So here’s something to honk about – Fedor Fedin‘s analysis was cited in the CSN pre-show AND Joe B. quoted Olie Kolzig who was quoted in Ian’s post on Neuvy’s new goalie mask. Hey, victory where we can find it, right?
• Hero: Adam Oates is a bona fide hero. Hero play maker on assists, hero turn remaking the Bolts and Devs, freakin’ here Hall of Fame inductee. So OK, we said that. It’s unfortunate he need to figure out being top coach in an abbreviated season. But that’s what he needs to do. Be a hero once more, Mr. Oates.

What Did We Learn Tonight? (WDWLT): Well we hate to say this, but Neuvy is streaky. Offense is halting. Defense is filled with holes. In short, the team does not look good. Paraphrasing the newly-signed Flyer Mike Knuble from last year, the Caps are “…playing like clowns and losers.” Oof. They don’t need us to say that: it’s obvious. So guys, stop playing like that. That’s what we learned. Oh, and maybe Sasha was actually important for the Caps chemistry. Something’s obviously missing; unless someone can give us something better, we’re saying it’s Sasha.

Joe B suit of the night

What’s Next?: Stimulating Newark!  Home of hairspray, hopelessness and the Devils! (And haha, yes we know Newark is in New Jersey, even if we were but a bit confuzled about the exact Province of the Black Pit of Winnipeg.) We’ve said before that our biggest worries this season for the entire conference exist in our Southeast Division – looking at you Tampa and Carolina. But that said, the Devs are among out greatest threats in the entire conference. Patrick Elias, Ilya Kovalchuk – even old goat Martin Brodeur.

Repeat after us: the season isn’t over. The season isn’t over. The season isn’t over.

And remember – this isn’t our fault. Although we think our RMNB masters are beginning to re-think asking us to write the recaps.

Photo credit: Greg Fiume

The surprise is that there was no surprise.

With the Washington Capitals and Montreal Canadiens locked at two as the clock hit zero in overtime, Matt Hendricks got ready to take the ice for the shootout. The fourth liner, not one of the highly skilled Russians or Nicklas Backstrom in his grand return, was set to shoot first in the most important gimmick of season — that is, if you don’t count the one 48 hours ago. And once again Hendricks made the moves you know by heart: fake, leg lift, deke, deke, wrist shot, score. Eight goals, 12 opportunities, one move.

It’s a routine so complicated that after three years in the NHL, and endless posts by us, goalies still get embarrassed — sometimes badly. And for Habs netminder Peter Budaj unfamiliarity is even less of an excuse.

“I played with him in Denver,” Hendricks, who also notched a sweet assist Saturday night, told reporters with a laugh afterwards. “He knew what I was doing the whole time.”

But after one question — or rather a myriad of them over his two years in Washington — Hendricks got a bit tired of the subject.

“Let’s not talk about shootouts,” he said. “No more attention to it.”

“Anybody else?” he asked.

Neuvy smirks after taking a Rene Bourque slapshot off the mask. (Via @WashCapsRock)

The Washington Capitals’ season is still on shaky ground. Buffalo’s loss to Pittsburgh on Friday kept their hopes alive, but Saturday’s game versus the Montreal Canadiens held huge determinative power. Perfect time for a Comebackstrom.

After having his initial shot blocked, Alex Semin found a wide-open Mathieu Perreault in the slot, for a one-timer. 1-0 Caps. Unguarded in front of the net, Matt Hendricks hit Jay Beagle with a cross-crease pass to put the good guys up 2. Erik Cole then scored a momentum-killing goal with one minute left to go in the first.

In the second period, the Canadiens dominated. Tomas Plekanec tied it up when he went around a slow-skating Roman Hamrlik and scored on the backhand.

After multiple scoring chances for both teams in the third period, the game went to Overtime. Then the shootout. Thanks to goals by Matt Hendricks and Alex Semin, Caps win 3-2.

Do you like my new fanny pack? (Photo credit: Suzanne Kang)

• Alex Semin ended his penaltyless streak after finishing a check late in the first. Like his last penalty 8 games ago, it was a soft whistle. He’s not Matt Cooke or anything, but Sasha has certainly cleaned up his act.
• The Caps opened up hot with 12 shots in the first frame. But, like usual, they backed off big-time, allowing the Canadiens to catch up in the possession contest. This problem does not appear to be going away anytime soon.
• In fact, the Habs’ second goal was the result of the Caps being unable to sustain possession. Hemmed in their own zone for so long, Hamrlik (who looked ginger after a hit along the boards) and Wideman were unable to end their shift.
• No Nicklas Backstrom under the hood? Regardless of the circumstances, I’m disappointed.
• Michal Neuvirth took a puck to the throat late in the second, prompting Caps trainers to rush to his aid. But Mikey is made of sterner stuff and got right back up.
• The Caps didn’t play as if the season was riding on this game, but they had to have known it. A disorganized offensive effort and passive presence in their own zone convey a team that has given up. Like, ya know, the Habs.
• The guys who played best were the ones we expected least. Like Jay Beagle, whose timely goal and aggro PK service created a nucleus for an otherwise diffuse team effort.
• Matt Hendricks scored in the shootout, but that freeze move seems to be losing its mana. The word is out. Probably because of guys like us.
• Nicky is back. That’s pretty much all there is to say about that. He was a bit shy along the boards, but that’s understandable. He still managed to have 2 shots and win 12 of 18 face-offs in 19:38 TOI.

Joe B. suit of the night

Pregnant women and people with high blood pressure should not have
been watching this hockey game.

Thankfully our friends in Toronto bested the Sabres, granting our Caps sole possession of 8th place. Fruit basket to those guys– someone make it happen.

Yeah, not the statement game we needed, and not an apt reaction to the team’s circumstance. But points are points and it’s Saturday night and Nicky is back and the world is okay.

Crash the net.

Additional reporting by Ian Oland.

Photo credit: The Washington Post

On January 3rd, the Capitals beat the Calgary Flames 3-1, but suffered a huge loss, losing team MVP Nicklas Backstrom indefinitely due to a concussion. The head injury and subsequent symptoms forced Backstrom out for three months, but finally, after 40 games, the Capitals are about to get a huge boost.

Why? Because Backstrom’s back, baby! The 24-year-old Swede will return against Montreal tonight and retake his normal spot on the first line, centering Alex Ovechkin and Marcus Johansson.

The Capitals, who went 18-16-6 during Backy’s absence, will now have one of their best two-way players down the stretch as they try to hold on to the Eastern Conference’s 8th and final playoff spot.

“I’m very excited,” Backstrom told the media at Kettler. “It’s going to be fun to play again, it’s a big game for us and we need all those points.”

One question that still loomed is will Backstrom look for retribution tonight against Rene Bourque – the guy who originally injured him?

“I don’t really care about that,” Backstrom said. “It happened. I’m not going to waste any energy on that.”

Great answer! Because that’s what Matt Hendricks, Jason Chimera, and Troy Brouwer are for.

Photo credit: Patrick McDermott

Somehow, inexplicably, the Caps won on Thursday. It was a manic mess of a game, like something the Flaming Lips would do if they played hockey. In case your blood pressure is returning to normal and bowels are solidifying, here comes another cataclysmic hockey game to freak you out all over again.

While it’s unlikely Matt Hendricks will get another chance to paralyze another Sovereign Citizen in the skills competition, we’ve got a look to look forward to. How will Marcus Johansson follow up his two-point game? Will Alex Ovechkin tummy receive much-needed patting? How many shifts will it take before Jason Chimera does the Shawshank move at center ice?

And oh, is Nick freaking Backstrom backingstrom? All signs point to yesssss. The cosmic symmetry continues to manifest itself in hockey, as NB19′s big return might be against a team that contains the player who injured him. We’re talking about Rene Bourque, who looks like he has a little schmutz on his nose. Here, Rene, let Hendricks get that for you.

Not at Saturday’s game will be superfans Sam and Jenny. Their pal Ashley wrote to tell us how bummed they’ll be to miss the big game. Usually they’d be at Iron Horse or Rocket Bar rocking the red with a billion other people, but they goofed big time and accidentally schedule their wedding for Saturday. Whoops, guys. Best wishes from us at RMNB, and don’t screw up again.

Meanwhile…. The Canadiens, if you even care, are still a disaster. They’re waaaaay outside the playoff race, they just fired their general manager, and they can’t even spell Canadians right. How’s that for analysis?

How important is this game? Going by the current naming convention, it is Game Nine. A win keeps the team alive, a loss makes our party next Saturday at Front Page much less exciting. Buffalo and Ottawa are sitting just above the Caps  in the standings, like a bunch of bluenoses with their cocky strides and musky odors. It ain’t over yet.

Crash the net.

P.S. I’ll be at the game. 100-level because that’s how I roll. If you see me, say hi or just punch me in the face.

Photo credit: Mitchel Layton

Friday night’s meeting between the Washington Capitals and Montreal Canadiens was an exciting one. The only thing that muddled the joy is that funny feeling that this may be one of the last times we see this version of the team play..

Mathieu Perreault got on the board by redirecting a Jason Chimera pass along the crease that Tomas Kaberle deemed not worth his time. Jason Chimera took the puck for an 80-foot stroll, pushing Carey Price into the net along with the puck. 16 seconds later, Marcus Johansson dropped a pass to Dmitry Orlov, who set up Alex Ovechkin waiting in the circle for a one-timer. That shot found the back of the net, giving the Caps a solid 3-0 lead going into the third.

Rene Bourque ended the shut out (actually 260 minutes and 4 seconds long) with a shorthanded goal. Joel Ward got the empty netter, and that was that. Caps beat Habs 4-1.

First, I’ve been waiting several games to use this picture. Doesn’t it describe the mood perfectly?

• 

  Ovechscream via @PuckBuddys

  Mike Knuble was scratched for this pivotal Friday night match-up. Andy Strickland of truehockey.com reports that multiple teams are interested in 22. It’s possible we may never see old Kanoobs in Caps red again. If that’s true, we owe him a tribute post. Or 50. Submit your art now.

• Not strictly Caps-related, but we reported extensively on prospect Evgeny Kuznetsov suffering an injury this morning. We’ve got good news. All recent reports have said the injury was not as bad as we first feared. Traktor even says he’ll be playing at the beginning of March. So… uhh.. sorry about freaking you out. Our bad.
• On the revenge front, Mike Green sent Rene Bourque flying into the Caps goalpost for a penalty. Totes worth it.
• But Bourque struck back by ending Neuvy’s shut out with a shorthanded goal. That was on the Capitals’ 4th failed power play of the night, suggesting that the team’s crappy road man-advantage has come home to roost. Actually, Bourque was the Habs’ biggest threat through the third period.
• Don’t let goal that diminish Michal Neuvirth‘s performance. After relieving Tomas Vokoun capably in Ottawa, Neuvy had another solid one at home on Friday: 29 saves. I think he starts on Saturday, but I’ve been wrong a lot in predicting Dale Hunter’s decisions this season.
• The Caps blocked only 10 shots all game. Weird, right?
• This game was a penalty party. The Caps were motivated, outskating Montreal by a margin and drawing penalties in the process. In fact, one could argue that the Canadiens got away with a few bad hits in addition to the 6 they got called for. Of course, the Caps reversed that leg-up with some dumber violations in the third, but luckily the Canadiens ended two powerplays prematurely with penalties. Pick a peck of –you get the idea.

Captain Alex Ovechkin returned to action after missing Wednesday’s game, apparently due to a bruise on his leg. Ovi recorded 3 shots in the second period and none in the first and third. One of those shots was a pretty pretty goal. Talking to Al Koken during the intermission, Alex Ovechkin described the gravity of the team’s situation thusly:

Got it. Thanks, Cap. (Pic by @ThatWilcoxGuy)

We should mention that Ovi had a team-worst minus-7 Corsi score. His line was responsible for 3 shots on goal… and 12 against Neuvy’s goal.

In other news, our PUNCH THIS FACE campaign made a few appearances at tonight’s game.

Warm ups!

Taped to the wall!

Joe B suit of the night

Yeah, the Caps were outshot. Yeah, the Caps power play bit the big one. But the boys in red had fun in the offensive zone, they played tough in their own end, and dammit– even without Mike Knuble they crashed the damn net. Washington is still outside of the playoff picture, but they’re just a little bit closer now. And we’ll see Rene again– at the end of March.

See you guys tomorrow night! Have a good one.

P.S. – We did a little video blog thing after the second period. If that’s the kind of thing you wanna see more of, let us know!

The Red Carpet: Oh Lorda Mercy. Sunday = Oscars. Monday = Trade deadline. We don’t know which town is more nervous, Hollywood or Washington.

Larfs, what a silly question! Of course we do. Exactly because we’ve served our time in both, and we know which town is more bloodless:

Phone call in DC: “Hello. Yeah, but what can you do for me tomorrow?”

Phone call in Hollyood: “What? You again?” *click.*

Check it out. Starshines like Julia Roberts or Harrison Ford disappear from the screen. A little too… seasoned. Anonymous tradesmen like James Cromwell or Melissa McCarthy: can’t book you enough. Proven winners… and we hate this more than you do… like Brad Pitt or Meryl Someoneorother. Well, they win. Because they’re winners. Until they don’t.

There’s nothing more cold-blooded than a PuckBuddy at Oscar time. Accept that. So, here’s the Academy of Gay Hockey Bloggers (AGHB©) taking a look at the year that was, and what we can expect, yes? Because, like it or not, teh gays know from whence they speak.

So…who’s our starshines? Our tradesmen? Our winners?

Oh, stop wetting yourselves. There’s hockey in here, too. Read.

The Awards

• Best Silent Performance: Mike Knuble? Hoho, we’re guessing he texts Ms. Carerra nightly. Dreamy Brooksie Laich? We love his hits on Elliot In The Morning, but he’s disqualified exactly because of this. And he hasn’t started dating our hot blonde friend. So: the Puckie goes to Alexander Semin. Oh sure, five months ago there was this little spurt of “reaching out” to English-speaking media, and what came of that? Who is the Caps Greta Garbo? Sasha, we love you. Keep silent.
• Best Special Effects: Troy (HatTrick) Brouwer has dazzled with some impressive dashing passes. Sasha is again nominated, but of late he’s had to be more the Pew-Pew! head-on shooter rather than the Day of the Jackal sorta sniper we need. The Puckie goes to: Mike Knuble, who has had more magic-pants almost goals somehow waved off than any other Cap. Knoobs: tonight you are our Oscar we can’t say that Puckie Award winner!
• Best Imaginary Screenplay: Oh, we love this one. Here’s where you get to write your history before history has actually written it! GMGM is a suitable nominee, for his ongoing excuses about what is, and isn’t, working for the Caps. Yet the Puckie goes to: Uncle Ted. “Mr. Leonsis is not available to accept tonight’s award, but thanks the AGHB and its members for this honor.” (We made that up.)
• Stupedest Stupefying Most Idiotic Teeth-Gritting Dumb Dumb Post: Well, lolz, we win this one. Mostly because we haven’t (and don’t care to) peruse those other sites for dip-shit comments and wanker analysis. Look, there are plenty of Caps blogs out there, and we’ve read our share of num-nutz posts. But overall, we’re happy with our overlords at RMNB, who consistently demonstrate acceptance of when we’re wrong.
• OMG You Can’t Possibly Continue Award: Unawarded. This is where you step up. We, the AGHB©, want to hear from you…the average, non-blogging, Caps-Centric nutjob. We see our Twitter feed. We know what you’re thinking. Now you have to step up with your categories, and nominees. But Hurry!  Time, she’sa runnin out!

Post Party

As you thread your way through the AGHB post party at ________ (you got the invite or you didn’t, stop pretending) you have no doubt bumped into several of our nominees and winners.

In the end, Caps: you’re all winners. The Washington Capitals bench has more individual talent than any team we’ve seen in, ulp, many years. Once you start playing together, as a 1-2-3 squad, you will be unstoppable.

Until then, you have the Habs Friday night. At home.

No recitation tonight. Coach Hunter and his squad know what they need to do. We need to get to our Passion Fruit Mango-tinis and swag-bags.

Meme of the Night: Uh-huh