The Washington Capitals’ loss to New Jersey Devils on Thursday was one of their worst games in years. Saturday’s matinee still had some problems with penalties, but they added a magic ingredient: Alex Ovechkin’s thirst for SCOAR MOAR GOALS.

Alex Ovechkin sank a one-timer to cap off a great entry sequence by Chimera and Ribeiro. Ilya Kovalchuk used John Erskine as a screen to beat Braden Holtby late in the second period. Alex Ovechkin got his second of the day– coming up the right side and shooting between Volchenkov’s legs. Eric Fehr scored a shorthanded goal after robbing Johan Hedberg behind his net. Ovechkin converted a power play goal late in the third, and the hats rained down. Then Troy Brouwer got everybody wings, and it was party time.

Caps beat Devils 5-1.

• If this recap is below par, blame it on yesterday being Margarita Day. Or blame to Jimmy Buffett directly. He sucks by the way.
• That’s 11 career hat tricks for Alex Ovechkin. His first in over two years and his first in DC since Snowmageddon on Feb 7, 2010. Washed up? Naw. We told you it would happen, and it did.
• Wojtek Wolski missed a wide open net in the first period (although I think the puck rolled on him). That was a heartbreaker for a player already getting bad bounces lately. Wolski has been scoreless since his game-winner on February 1. With a bit of patience and perseverance, Wolksi should turn it around soon.
• Braden Holtby capably stopped a penalty shot by Steve Bernier. The shot was facilitated by Tom Poti’s trip while chasing Bernier’s breakaway.
• The Capitals PK unit has been terrific lately, a happy reversal from earlier in the season. They’re still overworked though. The Caps will take fewer penalties when they organize their breakout and neutral-ice game– you don’t commit penalties when you’ve got the puck after all.
• I don’t see why CSN doesn’t use Alan May between the benches in every game. He’s great with systems analysis, he’s got amazing stories (is there anyone he hasn’t fought?), and he gives Craig Laughlin more grief than anyone. Moar please.
• Nick Backstrom needs better linemates. If you’re expecting him to help guys score, he should play with guys who can score.
• With Carlson’s and Erskine’s pucks over the glass, the Caps now have ten delay of game penalties this season. That’s insane-o.
• There’s a lot to love about Ovechkin’s first goal. Ovi used his physicality to gain possession in his end, then immediately gave it up to Ribeiro and Chimera, who made the zone entry. Ovechkin got himself into scoring position and trusted his linemates to set him up.  They did, and Ovi scored. People say Oveckin needs to broaden his game– but I think he’s still got a future as a pure scorer.
• Ovechkin’s second goal (man, it was fun to type that) was his first conversion of The Ovechkin Move (Right Side Edition).
• The third Ovi goal (okay now I’m shaking) was a clean bang-bang play– right after Ovi missed an open net a la Wolski.
• Eric Fehr was a great pick-up by McPhee. Never too early to re-sign a guy like Fehr, who has expanded his portfolio to include penalty killing (and shorthanded scoaring) this season. Now we gotta get him on the top line.

Joe B suit of the afternoon

I know you guys don’t care about this stuff, but the Caps won this game because they shot early and often. The second period was a bit quieter, but the Caps looked like a completely different team compared to Thursday. Possession = wins, and the Capitals earned this win.

Braden Holtby has been terrific for three games straight now. It’s a shame he only got one win out of those, but that goes to show you that goalie wins are a silly stat.

What a freaking delightful game this was, and what a privilege it is to write about it for you guys. Enjoy your Saturday afternoon, and let’s welcome Alex Semin back to DC with a smile next week.

I am in the same press box with @russianmachine, the blog which did the thing with the space stuff. I can literally die in peace now.

— Slava Malamud (@SlavaMalamud) February 23, 2013

Capitals vs Devils on Thursday did not go well. Chris Gordon did his best to delight you while holding the RMNB reins, but nothing could salvage a very bad night for the home team.

Except maybe this.

By the way, the Capitals’ minus-18 even-strength shot differentials is their worst regular-season differential since… well since sometime in the Boudreau era as far as I can tell.

Did you know the Capitals have committed eight delay-of-game penalties in the last sixteen games? I think that’s a 29y53% increase from last year, but you can check my math.

Fast Fact: Alex Ovechkin fired 16 shots in the last 3 games without a goal. He usually scores twice in that span.

John Carlson. Just John Carlson.

Capitals human Jay Beagle won 88% of his 9 faceoffs. HEY WAIT THAT’S NOT SAD AT ALL. YEY JAY

Shucks. Thursday was the Caps’ second consecutive “wasted start.” Braden Holtby’s play should be good enough for a win 75% of the time.

Troy Brouwer got a misconduct at the end of regulation for being snippy. Can you blame him?

Brooks Laich is on twitter, but not the ice.

Thank you to @weaglemonkey for the inspiration. Spay or neuter your pets, y’all!

Photo credit: Patrick McDermott

I had a recap for tonight, but then the third period happened; my story was rendered irrelevant. In the span of 11 minutes, the Washington Caps took six penalties and allowed two goals to blow 2-1 lead to the New Jersey Devils. It was awful and frankly surreal. This wasn’t the ref’s fault, it was entirely the Capitals’. You cannot take that many penalties and survive. The Caps did not survive.

The first period didn’t go too well at Verizon Center. In between press box Internet outages that even Cory Booker could not fix, the Devils controlled play throughout the period, save for a Caps power play late in the frame. Thankfully for the Caps, the Devs couldn’t convert on their 13-4 shot advantage through 20 minutes.

The game finally got interesting in the second. Really interesting. After Alex Ovechkin drew a tripping penalty on Anton Volchenkov, Troy Brouwer puts the moves on entering the offensive zone, Mathieu Perreault popped in the rebound to open the scoring. Barely a minute later, the Caps went to the PP again. This time it didn’t go so well — at least at first. As John Carlson was waiting to make the breakout pass behind Braden Holtby, he made a brutal turnover — the epitome of word “giveaway.” Adam Henrique picked up the puck and passed it to Patrik Elias in front of the net. Tie game. Mike Ribeiro, who is awesome, had other ideas though. At the tail end of the man-advantage, Ribz fired squigglier past Marty Brodeur to put the Caps back on top. The action in the second didn’t end there. Washington almost added another tally, but Ovechkin breakaway was foiled by bad ice late in the frame.

And the third period? Unspeakable awfulness. Six penalties, nearly all killed until Ilya Kovalchuk sealed the deal with about eight minutes left in the game.

Joe B suit of the night

None of that is to say penalties alone told the story. The Capitals held a lead for a good while despite being dramatically outshot (30 to 12 at even strength). If not for Braden Holtby, this would’ve been a debacle. Thanks to him, it’s just an embarrassing fiasco.

These two teams play again in less than 36 hours. I think it’s fair to say they shouldn’t repeat what transpired tonight. Since I clearly bring bad luck, Peter will be back with you Saturday.

[Ed note: After a year of doggedly researching and documenting the panoply of awfulness that are the Washington Capitals' rival cities and teams, the PuckBuddys'  physicians grew concerned, recommending they take a nice, quiet rest somewhere so they could forget temporarily about hockey and focus instead on finger paints and macaroni art. Helpfully, Gary Bettman and Donald Fehr gave them just the right opportunity to lay down their burden.

Now, no longer able to keep them involuntarily committed, the Buddy's have returned to crash our net and empty the NHL's septic tanks that you, wisely, would rather not. Because that's just the sort of stand-up guys they are.

However, we caution they are still a bit on edge. So please, everyone...no sudden movements.]

The Scene: The pioneering urban anthropologist Ulf Hannerz once remarked “That which most repels us in other cultures is very often what lies buried and secret at the heart of our own.”  Well, no he didn’t; I just made that up. But then again, I doubt that Ulf ever visited New Jersey.

New Jersey is for Lovers

Oh ho, you say, can an entire state truly be so bad? If scabies wanted to go on a holiday, it would visit Jersey. If the EPA listed lip gloss and Drakar Noir as hazardous wastes, the effluvia of glitter and reek oozing out of Jersey’s pores would require us to wall it off for one hundred years. If New Jersey didn’t exist, Alabama would have to rise up and invent the place from whole cloth, just so the rest of us would stop pointing and laughing at them. It’s exactly that bad. (John Carlson: love you, but we’re watching your hair closely.)

Thus our recommendation for full haz-mat suits for everyone on hand to welcome the New Jersey Devils this Saturday to Verizon. Which is not to say don’t go: despite their continuing habit of screwing things up for us, we like the way this game is shaping up for the Caps. Screamingly brilliant analysis follows.

The Morning Skate: Ugh, that last Devs game, amirite? Sure, that’s when we were still in our “1st Period OK/2nd Period SUCK/3rd Period PANIC” phase. Although not completely broken, the Caps have more often than not been snake-bit in the second; our last meeting with the Devs saw us 0-2 and charting up four penalties, giving smelly Patrik Elias (he not of the Big Boy Elias’) all the room he needed.

Neuvy was good (.914 Sv%) but breathing fossil Martin Brodeur was better (.929) as was the Dev’s defense as a whole. Thank heavens for Greenie’s long-distance blast in the third that tied us up. Oh wait, did I say thank heavens to Mike Groin Green? Because I meant that it was his OT interference penalty that likely cost us the game. What Greenie giveth, Greenie taketh away, I supposeth.

Moving on…

Puck Drop: Like most teams, the Devils are out-shooting us, in regular play and earlier against us specifically. Despite that, we’re nearly even on goals for and those allowed, which suggests Coach Oates’ “system” is working better against the Devs than, say, the Pens. (And let us never speak of that again.) Here’s our take: tired offense and unusually sloppy defense will put the Devs behind early, a deficit they’ll struggle to erase without ultimate success. More Caps players other than Ward, Brower and Fehr will step into game. Fans will once again hail this as a sure sign the Capitals “are back.” We’re not sure what “back” means, but don’t expect this to be anything other than just one more game.

But srlsy, only a White House reporter would take one source as gospel for a story. So we tapped PuckBuddys’ Devils correspondent, and all around cute guy, Brian Marshall for his take on how this game will shape up. Brian:

Which Devils team will show up for Thursday’s game?  The elite team that went 3-0 against the state of Pennsylvania in the last two weeks?  Or the lackluster team that lost to the Canes, Islanders, and Senators?  My guess is Coach Peter DeBoer is spending the two day layoff getting the Devils focused on Thursday’s game (especially since they face the Caps in back-to-back games – no chance of looking past them to the next game).

The rest was no doubt welcomed after playing 3 games in 3 and a half days over President’s Day Weekend. The Devils special teams have been less than special of late, the power play is an acceptable 15.3% (2 for 13) the last four games, but the penalty killers have been atrocious, giving up 6 goals in 14 chances (57.1% PK) in the same span.  If the Devils take a couple of stupid penalties it could be curtains for the good guys wearing white.As for players to watch out for, Patrik Elias continues to play amazing hockey.

As of this writing, he’s 8th in the league in scoring (4G 15A) playing his more natural LW (he played C most of last year).  On the other side of Elias’ line is David Clarkson, who’s tied for 4th in the league with 10 goals.  And don’t forget about our Russian-Left-Wing-Who-Shoots-Right-Has-A-Contact-That-Runs-Until-Forever-And-Never-Seems-To-Leave-The-Ice-On-The-Power-Play, Ilya Kovalchuk.

Kovy is continuing his remarkable transformation from “one-dimaneional goal scorer” to “workhorse all-situations player with explosive puck skills, and Marty Brodeur is still between the pipes for the Devils.  He’s still pretty good.  And don’t let him play the puck – he’ll kill you with his outlet passing just as easily as with his catching glove.

Like we said: Caps 4, Devs 2.

Who’s Hot, Who’s Not: Oh gosh, this is probably the reason we got into this whole farkakte blogging thing to start with. (Did you know that off all the dazzling writing and insights we’ve offered over the years, still the biggest search term to our site is “naked Ryan Kesler”? We’re hoping that just by writing that here RMNB’s SEO will sky-rocket.)

All that

Our RMNB overlords likely hate this section, but every time they delete it we just go in and paste it back. So if you’re squeamish or hate Downton Abbey or are just questioning your ability to look at pretty people, skip to the end. Wait, not skip. Leap with masculinity.

• Capitals: The Ribeiro trade has never looked better (forget all that crap I said earlier, heh heh,) but Mike, bubeleh, a little more care with the hair will only increase your trade value.  Troy “Wolf Eyes” Brower has been firing on all cylinders and Eric the Fehr and Jay Beagle have obviously run a can of Gumout through their systems in response. O Captain, you’re still our Captain, but please a little less fluffer-nuttering out there, K? Nicky, you’re more over-due than alimony. But our Caps hottie of the week crown goes to Joel Ward: shine on you crazy diamond. Runner up: Joey Crabb ain’t too bad, either.
  

  Nice, if you go for that sort of thing

• Devils: Oh, this is so much easier. As in - have you seen dese guise? We’ve seen more appealing faces on The Smoking Gun”s mug-shot hall of fame, and that includes the guys who sniff paint and end up with silver smears across their cheek. Which is not to say they’re not performing: Elias, Kovalchuk, Gionta and Ryan Carter will no doubt (ahem) be-devil us this game. On a numbers-only basis, David Clarkson would win this week’s tiara, but woof.  Instead, the prize goes to Steve Bernier, a 6’3″ rasher of Canadian bacon who should probably be playing better, but still looks good out there.

New Jersey’s finest

The Take Away:

Every game lately has felt like an ordeal. “Arrgh, we do we stink so much?!” “Darn you, GMGM!”  ”OMG, the Caps actually won; we’re BACK!!!”  Everyone needs a few fewer exclamation marks and a little more Xanax if we’re going to make it through these next two months. We’re overall an OK team with some great individual talents that seems to be struggling to make its round square peg fit into a pre-ordained round hole.

The Devils have had a history of tripping us up when we’re feeling our head in the clouds. So Caps: keep the skates on the ice and the eyes on the puck, and we should be good.

Hate mail may be addressed to PuckBuddys, c/o:

The Permanent Representative of the Democratic
People’s Republic of Korea to the United Nations
820 Second Avenue
New York, NY 10017

Neuvy run over during the second period. (Photo credit: Mel Evans)

[Editor's Note: Peter Hassett wisely took the opportunity to leave DC this week. Ian Oland is in protective custody. Chris Gordon has joined the circus on the trapeze. The PuckBuddys are entirely responsible for this week's tragic events.]

“Nothing ever really goes away – it just changes into something else.” – Sarah Ockler.

There’s a last bit to that quote that we’ll share at the end. (Spoiler!) Still, we can’t help but watch the Capitals 2013 and wonder: what are they changing into? And where is this metamorphosis leading? Answers – now.

First period: Some early testing by the Caps heartens us. We like what we’re seeing on defense from Ward; once again, the Caps look dominant in the first. Can’t hear the name “Travis Zajac” without thinking about buying a vowel. Yes, that’s what we’re down to. Sadly, Jacob Josefson to Stephen Gionta (brother of Habs’ Brian) with a snapper past Neuvy puts them 1-up.

We feel you, Meryl.

Second begins with a dash to the Caps net, gobbled up by Neuvy. Mike Ribeiro and Jason Chimera denied what shoudda coudda been. Troy Brouwer passes to no one, which is somehow emblematic of the team this year. Phew! on a Neuvy save during a Devs attempt at a shortie, leading to both teams feeling a little better about themselves, while Martin Brodeur notches another lump on his coconut. Phew! again as Neuvy (again) saves the Caps on a Devils PP. Tonight is a good night for Neuvirth, so heck, let’s give him a 5-on-3 because why not? Of course,  Patrik Elias scores (nothing you can do, Neuvy) bringing Devs up 2-o. Please let this end.

Last period starts with us wondering if the mullets (*ahem Carlson*) are slowing the Caps down. Adam Oates looks sour like the Dad in “That’ 70′s Show,” which we’re coming to understand. Caps PP yields zip, and we get another shot. MoJo sends it off to nowhere, and Phew! (3x) Neuvy saves the day. Finally, Ward knocks to Ribeiro and the Caps are on the board, 2-1. And then HURRAH! Greenie sends a sizzler into the net, Caps tied 2-2 with less than three minutes remaining. An almost heart-stopper brings us to:

OT: Pushups everyone! Hero becomes the goat as Greenie gets sent to the penalty box and Caps go on PK. Neuvy is on his best game tonight: how many times can we “Phew!”? Caps kill effectively kill the penalty, while Ovechkin is sleep-skating. Twenty seconds to go and Ilya Kovalchuk takes advantage of Ovi’s slop, firing it past Neuvy and ending the game.

SCORE: Devils  3, Capitals 2.

• Sarcasm Is Still Dead: Our jousting at Caps ‘stars’ like Alzner and Carlson last night was off-pitch. We would blame our innate faulty wiring, but personally I think it’s the Nyquil. Either way, we still are not seeing high-dollar stars like Ovi and Backstrom – and Alzner and Carlson – perform where it counts, while they rely on Joel Ward, Matt Hendricks and Tom Poti. So let’s say it; some of the Caps stars appear to be over-paid…and under-performing. At least so far.
• Power Failure: Despite Mike Ribeiro’s 5-on-3 power play goal, the Caps power play still stinks. Is it anything more than guys randomly skating around? We’ll leave it to smarter people to dissect how, but it always comes down to guys not moving to keep the puck in their paint. And yes, we know what that means.
• No Sale: Win or loss, even by the first period we can say we’re still not sold on Ribeiro. OK, good head’s up play tonight – the Caps only score and still with three points on assists. But wasn’t he supposed to be the magic to bring back Ovi? What can we say, we’re not sold (not like we were buying.)
• Hold It There: So in the last four games, the Caps have been down two men three times. That’s not just bad luck or poor calls; it’s sloppy play.
• Remember Tummy Pats?: We’re finding it hard to do so. Is Ovechkin still even a Capital?
• Golden Gate Years: Wah wah, Marty Brodeur is old, shut up. Wanna talk durability? Professional jockey Russell Baze had his 50-thousandth career start today. At an average of 6 1/2 furlongs, that’s one and 1/2 times around the Earth, riding a thousand-pound rocket with hooves and teeth. The old dude is still better than anyone we have.

Nice tie, Joe.

What Did We Learn Tonight? Over the last two years GMGM seems to have slowly broken off pieces of what used to be the Capitals. For all of those we cut (Knubs, Varly, Jose, Aucoin, Sasha, et cetera) what have we got? What exactly are we building, and why was winning like we did a few years ago so bad?

Go ahead and crawl down my throat, but I’m going to start saying it: maybe it’s time for George McPhee to go.

The end to that Ockler quote? “Something beautiful.”  That’s what we want again; some beauty on ice.

What’s Next?: Sunday back at home with the Sabres. Meanwhile, we cry.

If it’s any consolation, the PuckBuddys are yielding back the keys to the RMNB Recap Car, meaning we fully expect the Capitals to start winning again. Yes, we’re taking it that personally.

The PreGame: Close your eyes for a moment. Now fling your head out the window.

Wait. Stop that. Open window, fling head, close eyes.

Better. Breathe deep…deeplier deep. Now, what do you smell out there? Summer? Winter? Victory? Streak?

Us? We get mulch, daffodils and notes of flattened street rat. But we much prefer these others. Summer – remember buoyancy and cautious cockiness? Winter; well, early winter means Christmas, and Christmas last was a Capsmas miracle against the Devils, so thank you Baby Jesus!

Victory? Contrary to Maj. Kilgore, victory doesn’t smell like napalm in the morning.  Rather it’s a man-handling of the Habs, a swift start and sustained margin against the Leafs, and a ‘You-Ain’t-Gonna-Win” sass against the dreadful Islanders, all in a row. Yum.

And Streak? Actually, we haven’t really smelled that this year for a long, long time. But still, I think I might recall…

The Puck Drop:

We’ve written before of the twitchy trigger-finger use of the “S” word; how it’s mostly a lazy trope of lazier journalists (ha, that you have to go looking for, Washington Post!) Technically, two games constitute a streak, even though anyone who claimed that in practice should, and we assume would, be mocked until they cried like wee wittl babies. Three is NOT a streak. Four opens the door. Five is when you come alive with something real, but not until.

This isn’t new territory. Ian, Peter, Chris, Ana and all the rest of our Soviet русская братство, I recall, have echoed this Caps upsy-downy nature of late; our history of clawing back in the waning days of Winter and the team’s general unreliability week-to-week over the last several years. Blurgh.

So. Here we go. Once more into that benumbed arena, my friends. And like every night, those any chosen size guys on the sheet will be joined, less temporally, by all of us, cheering them on, pushing them on, hoping for opening the door.

We few. We happy few.

Who’s Hot, And Who’s Not:

1: Headcase Hedbert. Oh, that Johan. As in Johan Hedbert (.908%.) Out for the last several Devils’ games, we expect Hedbert will be coming back Friday, for his first test in a while against the Caps.

We tend to think a net-minder back from a rest isn’t the best in the nest. No jest. Neuvy may prove that wrong, although frankly if you look at Vokoun and Neuvirth in larger context, you totally get who’s the better net-minder.

Our Opinion Only Warning: when Neuvy’s lost a bunch in rapid succession, it’s seemed more his issue; when it’s happened with Racoon, more a failure of our defense. I’m sure the number gnomes will step forward to prove me wrong, which I’ll happily accept. Because I don’t like feeling our best goalie is being sidelined because of irrational decisions.

Don’t know who’s getting the Caps start. We say: Vokoun can win; Neuvirth will perform. Diagnosis: Hedberg = Not; Neuvy Racoon = Hot.

2: Best. Sniper. Ever. Listen up anti-Seminites: you don’t have to be Mulder or Scully (“It’s me, where are you?“) to stumble on the hidden conspiracy that is Alexander Valerievich Semin. He is, officially, the Capitals non-secret, flare-shooting Tsar Bomba; the guy you don’t want anywhere near your net. Of late he’s the best player for the Caps…and by best we mean most adaptable.

His work on the dot, as forward and chief threat, and overall rally-rad guy make him invaluable to a bench hobbled without NB19. 1G/3A +3 in the last five don’t even begin to tell it. Sasha has stepped up from his previous role as artist/assassin to all-around auxiliary guy, creating spark where it’s needed and letting his team-mates grow the fire.

He is, in short, the Indispensable Capital. Sasha = Hot. Then again, it could all be a conspiracy.

3: You Can Go Home Again. And Again, And Again. What’s the Russian version of Whoo-hooo!? Probably something with a vodka bottle (like I’m one to talk.) Stereotyped larfs aside, the Capitals have just plowed through our most crap-tacular road trip of the year – that was even before we took it – and are now beginning a little home encampment-let of four games. To which we can only say: Whoo-hoo!   What are we, 21-doesn’t matter-who cares at Home? Go look up the actual numbers elsewhere, Poindexter; point is they really do rock Verizon.

Beyond that, we’re 94G/74GA, with 22 PPgoals and a relatively stingy 16 PPagainst at home. (Who’s the Poindexter now?) But, unlike last season, they do not like coming off the losing the 1st, at 5-20-2. Yuck.

4: Giants On The Ice. Mike Knuble has been benched the last too many games. Too many times in February he had almost points and take-back scores; too much he’s had his pockets picked and played Jingle Pipes and yet, nothing. Not for a lack of trying. Could we use him hovering over the Hedberg’s net tonight? A fraction less that I could use losing 40 pounds.

Our other giant, Jeff Schultz (1G/5A, +2) clocks in at 6’6″ and 230. Pounds, not stone. He’s been muzzled on the ice this season, earlier because of (honestly) under-performance, and later because of Coach Hunter’s new “U No Skor U Go” policy. Which we, and only we – the PuckBuddys – are here saying is shite. Caps Giant Schultz: go defeat enemies.

Schultz is back on skates, and we qualify this as a win. Hot = Schultz scoring.

Watch, Bet And Cheer:

7pm puck drop. If you can’t be at Verizon, watch Joe B and Locker, their awesome coverage, Alan May’s prescient tweets, and everyone’s preposterous suits. Caps 2, Devils 1. Call the Mirage book on that one.

Alex Semin interferes with Mattias Tedenby (Photo credit: Andy Marlin)

The last game before the holiday break featured the Washington Capitals in desolation against the New Jersey Devils. The Caps looked desperately weak for most of the game, digging a deep hole. But the third period was an explosion of Caps offense– one of the best comebacks in recent history. Still, the gimmick loomed.

Ilya Kovalchuk struck on a power play in the second period, a dribbling puck between Neuvirth’s pads. Not long later, Alexander Urbom scored on a defenseless net to make it 2-0. Adam Henrique chipped one in from up close to make it dire.

Brooks Laich used some speed and a Wideman pass to get the Caps on the board. Jason Chimera crashed the net and made it a one-goal game. Then Chimera tied it up at the end of a long offensive shift.

Into the shootout, where the Devils came out on top. Devils beat Caps 4-3 (SO), but the Caps take home one well earned standings point.

Who’s the man? Jason Chimera, the Chimdog. Chim-chim. That’s who.

• Alex Semin races for the minor penalty throne! His 20th of the year was an open-ice hit whistled for interference. He’s now tied with Corey Perry for 2nd in the league in minors. Brenden Morrow of Dallas has one more. In the game of deuces, you win or you die.
• Whatever. Sasha still got two assists in the third period. Even trade.
• 

  Photo credit: Bill Kostroun

  The Devils penalty kill is superb: first in the NHL at 92.6% going into this game. That’s typical for a team notorious for its offense-stifling trap. What’s less typical is how forward the Devils played when they’re down a man. They were aggressive, spending PK shifts in the Caps’ zone generating more shots shorthanded than the team that was up a man.
• The Alex Urbom goal was a curious one. The Caps blueliners were playing too far up before the turnover, so the last man back was Alex Ovechkin. Ovi reflexively cut off Tyler Zajac’s shot, but left Urbom wide open to deke out a scrambling Neuvirth.
• Nick Backstrom had the best chance of the night to get the Caps on the board, but he rang iron… twice… from 2 feet out. Same thing happened to Semin a few minutes later. On nights like this, the luck just sorta stinks. The Devils hit the post a few times too, so at least it was equal-opportunity misery.
• Wooo. Marcus Johansson had a stinker. In 18:29 on ice, he fired 1 shot (in OT) and ended up minus-2.
• Mike Knuble had a season-low 8:45. He never started a shift in the offensive zone and didn’t see a shot on Marty Brodeur while he was on the ice. Is there something else going on here? This is absurd.
• Jason Chimera really deserves all of the bullets tonight, doesn’t he?

Joe B suit of the night

If the comeback didn’t happen, we might have gone into the holiday with a bad taste in our mouths. One we wouldn’t be able to wash out with egg nog or peppermint-flavored something-or-other. The shootout loss still stings, but not quite as bad.

But Dave Nichols of the excellent District Sports Page reminds us of what’s important:

Don’t let the result of a hockey game ruin your mood this holiday season. In the long run, it doesn’t matter that much.

That’s 100% true. The world is full of ideas and music and people who love you. There are enough strange and beautiful things out there– enough friends and family– that the fickle fates of hockey should not get us down for too long.

It’s the holiday season. Spend it with the people who matter to you. The Capitals will be waiting for you when you get back.

We’ll be here too. Keeping the faith, cracking jokes, dropping S-bombs on Twitter.

Peace on earth. Good will towards men. Crash the net.

Craig is a Puck Buddy. This is his story. @PuckBuddys

Ohai Caps fans! Coinciding with Coach Hunter’s latest round of mind-boggling line changes, we’re changing up things today on the pregamer, too.  No, Doug hasn’t been sent down to Hershey with the other famous Caps redhead, Cody “Swoon” Eakin, but he’s taking a short break from cranking out his inimitable prose, obscure cultural references (he’s still working on Cy Twombly), and his proselytizing on behalf of the radical gay agenda.

Actually, he’s wrapping up the last of his community service obligations that resulted from his conviction in that 2011 World Juniors point-shaving scandal. And truth be told, he was also the one who bought all that liquor for those Russian kids. But luckily for all involved, including international aviation authorities, the team behaved responsibly on that flight home after their big win. In fact, we just heard from a few of our old pals on last year’s Russian team - and even they were appalled by Alec Baldwin’s airline antics last week.

The Puck Drop

The instructions that Doug scribbled on the back of a cocktail napkin say this is where I’m supposed to write about hockey things and stuff. We’ll keep this light since we already kicked the crap out of the Devils and their squalid landfill of a state ahead of the November 10 tilt with those hooligans.

Like every other Caps fan, we’re wondering about what team will show up Friday night at Prudential.  We’ve been on this roller coaster for almost the entire season (the weakest 7-0 team in NHL history?) – craptacular play followed by some well executed hockey, then five steps back, followed by another glimmer of hope. The litany of problems was evident as recently last Saturday against the Avs – anemic offense, catatonic PPs, defensive breakdowns and our netminders giving up squishy softy goals.  Those terrifying lows have been followed by dizzying highs: Ovi working his magic, Sasha wristing, Nicky being gorgeous, the PP off of life support, savage play in the neutral zone and a lot of hitting.  Yeah, we like hitting. Many of those elements, on full display during Tuesday’s Preds game, reminds me of why I jumped on the Caps bandwagon in the first place.

Now some hockey. Lending an assist here is our pal Brian, @trot71 on the twitter, the Devils correspondent at PuckBuddys.  Unlike the rest of us over there who never played the game and just like to flip spit, talk trash, and flirt, Brian knows the game and plays on the NYC Gay Hockey Association squads.  Forget Ken Daneyko, Brian is “Mr. Devil, ” devilishly handsome, too! Brian summarizes the first third of the Dev’s regular season:

This first third has provided something of a relief to Devils’ fans – there were fears they would come out of the gate as poorly as they did last season, which may have led to a fire sale of talent and a commitment to rebuilding.  Instead, there have been some young contributors (rookies Adam Larsson and Adam Henrique)  play vital roles on the veteran-dominated team, and increased scoring under first year coach Pete DeBoer.

All I Want for Christmas

Zach Parise (Jeff Zelevansky)

According to Brian, “Top center Travis Zajac‘s return was a little early to call a Christmas present, but it’s everything the Devils could have hoped for.  Travis has come back and looked fairly good, which will present DeBoer some lineup problems going forward, but the good kinds of problems (too many good players for the top 6 forward slots).  If there was one wish every New Jersey fan has, it’s that Zach Parise signs a long term deal with the club in January. If there’s no ink on a contract and the team continues to sit at the tail edge of the playoffs, look for GM Lou Lamoriello to deal Captain Zach to a contender for a king’s ransom of talent.  (But my money’s on Zach staying a Devil).”

The Naughty and Nice List, Festival of Lights Edition

Nice: Jeff Halpern: Haply Hanukkah, everyone! The hometown boy put in a great effort on Tuesday, the first night of the holiday. Hockey’s Hebrew Hammer also put Leonsis ahead of God on opening night against the Canes on October 8, Yom Kippur. We’ll check the schedule to see what day Purim falls on.

Nicer: Alexandr Valeryevich Semin:  ‘I’m not sleeping, I’m sniping!” Leave it to the Great 28 to confound and confuse us with his erratic play. When he’s good, he’s magnificent; when he’s bad, he’s infuriating and when he boards an opponent, he’s the best!  And while we’re at it, can everyone get a jump on their New Year’s resolutions and forever swear off “enigmatic and mercurial.” Both the Associated Press and the Washington Post used those exact words to announce the death of Kim Jong Il. We are NOT making that up. Russian influence on the world stage cannot be underestimated, but look at what lazy hockey writers have done now – they’ve dragged our dear Sasha into a nuclear tipped, geopolitical game of brinksmanship, when he’s got his hands full on just backchecking as it is.

Martin Broudeur

Naughty: Old Man Winter: Martin  Brodeur is just not elite anymore.  He looked shaky for great stretches in last Tuesday’s 4-1 loss against the Rangers.

Nicer: Swedish Meatball: Johan Hedberg is playing much better hockey than Brodeur at this time and should probably be getting the bulk of the starts.

Nicest: Awesome Possum:  The stunning Zach Parise has been leading the Devils offense this month, with 14 points (5G 9A) in the 10 December games.

Nicely Nicely Neuvy: Baby Czech Michal looks to be getting the start on Friday night and one of the smart guys we follow on twitter, but are contractually prohibited of mentioning his name, wondered about when the last time Vokoun has sat for four games. Then there’s the theory that a strong Neuvy makes Vokes better. Those same geniuses may be the ones who keep telling Rick Perry he has a shot at the nomination.

What Makes Them Hot

Ilya Kovalchuk

The Devils top line offers something for everyone, an All-American boy (Parise), the mysterious Russian (Ilya Kovalchuk) and the young buck (rookie Adam Henrique).  And they’re clicking – they’ve combined for 13 goals and 22 assists in December.

What Makes Them Not

Their power play has been beyond substandard.  They aren’t last in efficiency or power play goals scored, but they’ve given up a whopping 10 shorthanded goals, tops in the NHL (four teams are tied for second with five SHGA).  They have a remarkable ability to cough the puck up from the points (currently Kovalchuk and newly-acquired Kurtis Foster), leading the shorthanded chances for the opposition.  If their power play wasn’t so awful, more people might be talking about the Devils insanely good penalty killing, which has only given up 9 power play goals all year (while scoring 7 SHGs themselves).

As Seen On TV: If you need our help telling you where to find the game on TV, you’re a sad Christmas puppy.

Meme of the Day:

Let’s Go Caps and God Bless us, every one! С Рождеством! (Merry xmas)

(Photo credit: Mitchell Layton from like 3 years ago)

Live from Verizon Center… it’s Saturday night! The Washington Capitals bested the New Jersey Devils in hostile territory on Friday, so they invited the conquered down to Chinatown for another round. Mike Green, injured in the first duel, did not dress, replaced by the Giraffe Jeff Schultz. Brooks Laich played defense, and Alex Semin returned to action, where he immediately took an offensive zone penalty.

Troy Brouwer stole the puck and beat Hedberg for the night’s first goal. Carlson did his 70-footer thing, and a screening Chimera tipped it in to make it 2-0. Petr Sykora scored on a set play off the face off to end the shutout. Ryan Carter got a deflection to tie it up. From there we entered the shoot out, where way more stuff happened than I can record here. Suffice it to say: Devils beat Caps 3-2 via shoot out.

• Alex Semin, after returning from his timeout in the corner, promptly took a call. I and the thousands in Verizon Center thought the trip was a dive, and maybe Boudreau agreed. Alex returned to the ice, but did not have the rebound game we expected of him. And now I owe Doug 20 bucks.
• The ice in Chinatown was its usual, scratchy self. A Foo Fighters concert the night before and a Georgetown b-ball game this afternoon can do that.
• The Capitals suited up for the second period, but they did not really play. Two shots on net is never okay, but that’s all the team could muster in the frame. That gave NJD the time and space to make this game interesting.
• Jason Chimera deserves respect. The dude has scored in two straight and remains the Caps’ most consistent and timely of scorers.
• Dennis Wideman’s trip added to Alex Semin’s trip makes this one poorly called hockey game. While the Caps are working on tightening up their discipline, bad calls make it all the much more harder.
• The Washington Capitals went two million years without a shot during this game. It’s astonishing to learn that you can skip offense for over a period and still win a hockey game in the NHL. Oh wait, they didn’t.
• Roman Hamrlik either suffered an injury or was discovered to suck, as his ice time was profoundly limited in the second half of tonight’s game. My vote is suck, but I’m willing to change my mind.
• Absorbing up that ice time? Once again, it’s Dennis Wideman, who has a date with the ice bath on Sunday after his 33+ minutes of play,
• All of a sudden, the Washington Capitals penalty kill is a force to be reckoned with. 11 kills in a row as of this game. Now if we can get the PP in the same shape.

Joe B suit of the night via @CapFans1426

Sorry for the poorly formatted, image-light recap, everyone. This is coming straight from the ledge, where I sat with Peter Robbio of Chirps from the Ledge. Thanks, Peter, for a great game! Thanks for bearing with us, everyone else. Please share your own analysis of the game since we are so light tonight.

See you Tuesday!

(Photo credit: Nick Laham)

After a two-game skid, the Washington Capitals started their home-and-home series with the New Jersey Devils by playing some crummy hockey. Inexplicably, they won anyway.

12-year-old Adam Larsson scored the first goal of the game, which was also his first-ever NHL goal. Captain Alex Ovechkin found the perfect spot up front to rouse the Caps’ offense and make it 1-1. Jason Chimera exploited the Devils’ power play line change to score the Caps’ first shorthanded goal of the season. Marcus Johansson casually backhanded to give the Caps a two-goal lead. Caps beat Devils 3-1.

• 

  via @ngreenberg

  Mike Green is back! Or he was, until Ryan Carter hit him knee-on-knee in the first period. He took one shift on the power play, but none after that. Total ice time for the guy who should be the Capitals’ ice-time leader? 7:44.
• Alex Semin is sporting a team-best 20 PIMs. None of those are from fights or misconducts. He’s not a violent offender; he’s more like a recidivist cat burglar. #VeryBadSasha’s shifts evaporated in the second period per the team’s new accountability policy. He took his last shift in the second period and rode pine for the duration. Perhaps his whole “I think all this [accounability] stuff may actually be counterproductive” rubbed Bruce the wrong way?
• You need to see this awesome Semin picture.
• Who would have thought New Jersey’s Adam Larsson would be a threat? Anyone who read Puck Buddys’ pregamer, that’s who. In addition to scoring his first NHL goal, Adam had the distinct honor of getting leveled by the Russian Machine himself.
• Mike Knuble was the team’s most vocal critic earlier this week, but tonight he was their weakest link. Kanoobs committed three penalties– one was a soft call for boarding, the other was an unwhistled slash. Call it a temporary lapse, cause he knows better.
• Our best player was our best player, Alex Ovechkin. Scoring the game’s first goal, Alex was also the most physical player in the rink. Steller leadership from the once and future king.
• The Capitals have had a bear of a time in the third period of late. Entering this last frame with a tie score, the Caps had to remember their A-B-C’s: Always. Be. Closing. No one knew that better than Jason Chimera, who parried the Devils’ second consecutive power play with a shorty. Without that kick in the pants, this could have been a loss.
• Congratulations to reader Tari C. who won our Pick ‘Em contest tonight. Ian assures me that your prize is in the mail.

Joe B suit of the night

This team still looks tense and irritable. Jason Chimera’s roughing (i.e. punch in face) is evidence of that. How they pulled off this win is anyone’s guess. And what did they have to sacrifice to get those two points? Alex Semin is in the doghouse, Mike Green is hurt again, and Mike Knuble’s deeds didn’t match his words. Regardless, the team is once again #1 in the Southeast (maybe you didn’t notice: Matt Bradley and his Panthers took a 1-point lead on Friday morning).

With Mike Green’s injury, Alex Semin’s phlegmatism, and surely some other mysteries, the Capitals’ shifts went crazy. Check out this ice time chart (View the whole thing):

Without getting hurt, Semin didn’t even have a minute more playing time than the injured Green. Rookie Cody Eakin got short shrift himself, and Dennis Wideman took most of the brunt. Fascinating, and indicative of a drastic change in coach-player relations. Is anyone else firmly on #TeamBruce, or is it just us?

We’re gonna do this whole thing again tomorrow. It seems like the entire RMNB crew will be attending, so our recap will be kind of light. See you guys there!