The National Hockey League just released a two minute video they produced commemorating the official end of the lockout. It features cameos by Alex Ovechkin, Jason Chimera, and Sidney Crosby… crying. Liev Schreiber, the voice behind 24/7, also narrates. “Hockey is back,” the video claims. No, that never really left. Just you, NHL. Just you.

For whatever reason, this video feels hollow to me, but I encourage you all to watch it for yourself and come to your own conclusions.

The Caps released their very own celebratory video and it features Slapshot.

Okay, that Chief Eagle Officer gag was great.

What do you guys think of the videos?

Reader Stephen C. forwarded us this email. On Monday, Ticketmaster sent him a campaign promoting the December 4th Capitals/Islanders at Nassau Coliseum. Except there’s this lockout thing going on, so that ain’t happening. We figured it was just a screw-up in the system, some email marketing intern noob flying off the handle. Stephen thinks it is a sign that “our long (inter)national nightmare is nearing an end.”

On Wednesday night, I got this apology in my inbox from Ticketmaster.

NHL Fan,

As you may have noticed from an email we sent Monday (where certain canceled NHL games were showcased) those of us at Ticketmaster really miss hockey!

Given the league’s recent announcement regarding canceled games through December 14th, tickets are not available to be purchased. Please disregard any indications that tickets for those games are currently on-sale. We apologize for this error, and we look forward to seeing you at future NHL events!

Ticketmaster

Bummer.

Photo credit: atlant-mo.ru

Let’s start with a disclosure: we aren’t actively covering the lockout. Financial negotiations (and their public face) are all about posturing, tedium, and equivocation, whereas our principal interest in hockey has always been scoar, moar, and goals. That said, our Alex Ovechkin has spoken out about the ongoing melee between NHL ownership and players, and it’s definitely newsworthy.

Talking with SovSport’s Dmitry Ponomarenko after Saturday’s game, Ovechkin gave his spin on the NHL’s offer to the players earlier this week, dismissing the proposal as “nothing new” and “good only after a quick look.” Ovechkin continued:

If we speak in Russian, the NHL provided a beautiful dream to the media and fans, but in reality it’s a lie. It’s showboating. The league is trying to show that they are kind of working, trying to save the season, but they offer nothing new. It’s all the same, just in different words.

In the interview, Ovechkin carries some water for the players’ association, but he ends with a bombshell: he is willing to walk away from the NHL if the new CBA is no good.

For starters, Ovechkin is not optimistic for a timely outcome to the lockout until the NHL changes:

If NHL bosses keep making us such “profitable” offers, [the lockout] will last for a long time. We’re far from a compromise.

Ovechkin echoes comments made by Ilya Kovalchuk, who had harsh words for Gary Bettman on Friday:

I don’t think lockout will end soon. Bettman decided to throw the dust in our eyes because media isn’t talking about him very well lately. But actually the offer they gave is the same one, just in other words. A great person [Donald Fehr] is the head of the union with great experience. He’ll break it down, explain to us, and we’ll make the decision.

Meaningful progress seems unlikely until both sides adopt a spirit of compromise. When asked about the players’ willingness to make concessions, Ovechkin made this point:

There are a lot of nuances, a lot of hidden rocks. And all of them are in the league’s favor. Why in the world should our salaries be cut down? They say: let’s shorten the contracts to five years, then take 24 percent back. And what will be left? You offered that salary and now you take it back? That’s why there’s a lockout.

Most of that is right on the money. The recently expired collective-bargaining agreement and all the contracts made during its term were the result of the 2004-05 lockout and the player-owner compromise that ended it. While without context it may seem fair to start negotiation with 50-50 revenue sharing, the league and players already stipulated that 57-43 was “fair.” This current lockout exists because the league shifted its definition of fair and now requires concessions from players to bridge the gap it created.

The economic realities of the NHL aside, it’s hard to characterize this negotiation as anything except the owners wanting to pay the players less than they said they would. It’s probably inevitable that will happen, but how much less could be a problem. A big problem if you take it from Ovi.

Should the new CBA be unfavorable to Ovechkin, Ponomarenko asked if he might stay in Russia:

If the negotiations between you and the league will not lead to compromise, can you see yourself continuing your career in Russia? Is it possible/doable in a legal perspective?

I think yes. If my contract will be cut down greatly, it would be possible to annul it through the court.

That is not a Donald Fehr talking point.

Is it an empty threat, or is Ovi the Keyser Söze of hockey? Is he willing to do what the other guys won’t? Is he willing to disappear from North American hockey forever? (And is that even legally possible?)

I doubt it. If playing pro hockey were just a financial calculation for Ovechkin, he’d be wearing Dynamo blue every year, collecting a massive tax-free* salary, and cavorting with the superior women of Russia. But it’s not just about cash money for him. The NHL, when it actually plays games, has the best talent in the world, and D.C. has been Alex’s home for nearly a decade.

So I recommend we mark this down as hollow brinksmanship, more of that posturing and equivocation we at RMNB have been so reticent to write about up until now.

Translation by Fedor Fedin and Igor Kleyner.

UPDATE: Fedor informs me that as of 2012, Russia has instituted a 13% income tax for residents.

Photo credit: hotice.ru

On March 12th, the MHL, the KHL’s developmental league, held an All-Star game for under-18 year-old players in Cheylabinsk, Evgeny Kuznetsov’s hometown. KHL president Alexander Medvedev attended the one-day event and made time to meet with the local press. When asked his opinion about the future of the league’s most popular player, Medvedev responded, “Kuznetsov would be better playing a couple more years here.”

Apparently Kuznetsov agrees with Medvedev, because today on KHL-TV’s “The Icing Show,” the 19-year-old Caps prospect revealed that he will stay in Russia next season.

‘To be honest, my decision has been reached,” Kuznetsov told host Igor Larin (a contributor to the Russian newspaper Sport-Express, who originally broke the news). “It is my intention to continue my career in the KHL. At the same time there is no clarity as to which club it will be.”

Larin speculated in his article for Sport-Express that the Caps’ struggles this season– Dale Hunter’s defensive-first system and Alex Ovechkin’s decline in productivity– are among the reasons why Kuznetsov will stay with the KHL.

Other reasons for the decisions may include finances (Russia’s income tax rate is significantly lower than America’s), his new marriage, uncertainty over the NHL’s pending collective-bargaining agreement discussions, and the upcoming Olympics in Sochi.

There has been no shortage of opinions on Kuznetsov’s decision. Russian hockey legend Boris Mikhaylov, a two-time gold medal winner for Russia in the 70′s and second all-time in national team goals, told Sports.ru:

Well done, Kuznetsov! He’s made the right, competent and well-thought decision. There’s only one reason: He needs one more year to get stronger, more consistent, play on the national team level and he’ll be okay. He needs to stay in the KHL for one more year for sure.

[...]

As far as I know [in the NHL] the first deal you sign is always two-way so he might be sent down at anytime. That’s a minus. Of course, if he’d make the [Capitals] that’d be good. But would he improve there? I doubt it. He won’t be a leader there. Evgeny is a young guy and I doubt he’d play on the first line. If he’d have a guaranteed place on the team, he’d progress. Nobody knows how much ice time he’d get.

Valery Bragin, Kuznetsov’s coach on Russia’s WJC team, also told allhockey.ru:

It looks like the conditions he was offered in Traktor satisfied him. So he’s staying. He probably thought that’s too early for him [to go to the NHL].

[...]

It’s his decision, not mine. He’s a grown-up, married person. He probably thought a lot about it. What’s to discuss here?

Kuznetsov’s decision reverses previous statements he has made about his professional future. In August of 2011, Kuznetsov told Sports.ru he had made plans to move to America:

I don’t know if I am going to make [the Capitals], but I am planning to move there for the next season. Sasha Ovechkin said he would help with the apartment at first. We will live at his place for a couple of months, then, of course we will rent our own apartment. I even checked the apartment prices there over the internet.

Kuznetsov’s contract with Traktor ends this summer. His free agent status is expected to ignite a bidding war. But until he signs on the dotted line, Kuzya could once again reverse his decision, and we’ll be here to translate it.

In a few hours, Kuznetsov’s interview will air on KHL-TV. We’ll bring you the full translation and video.

Fedor Fedin also contributed to this article.

After long negotiations, the Russian National Broadcasting Company (VGTRK) has secured the rights to broadcast the NHL on their sports channels (free SD Russia 2 and cable HD Sport 1).

Back when RMNB was in its infancy, I described what it was like to be a fan of the Washington Capitals in Moscow. Staying up until 6am and searching the internet for feeds of Caps games (where there’s no guarantee I will hear Joe B. and Locker), is neither convenient or healthy.

Understanding this shortfall, the NHL started offering a Russian version of their website this season, and they allowed Europeans to watch games on NHL GameCenter Live. The VGTRK deal — which was completed in November — is another step towards globalizing the NHL.

HD Sport 1′s first game was the Detroit Red Wings at Boston Bruins on November 25. The free SD Russia 2 broadcasted the New York Rangers at Washington Capitals game that very same day.

For the first time in 15 years, the NHL is widely available on Russian TV.

VGTRK aired a commercial promoting their new relationship with the NHL. It features the Capitals’ Alex Ovechkin, Alex Semin, and Dmitry Orlov as well as other big-name players like Ilya Kovalchuk, Evgeni Malkin, Pavel Datsyuk, and renaissance man Ilya Bryzgalov. Below, you can check it out for yourself.

At the end of the commercial, there’s some Russian spoken. The narrator says “The NHL on Russia 2. Nothing cooler than that.” He’s right. Now maybe I can finally get some sleep!

Before Moneyball (the book, not the movie), there was Bill James.

For those of you who may not know, James is the grandfather of Sabermetrics (baseball #fancystats) and is currently a senior advisor on baseball operations for the Boston Red Sox.

Part of my personal #fancystats book collection

He began writing The Bill James Baseball Abstract in 1977 which was “the first of its kind to scientifically analyze and study baseball, often through the use of statistical data, in an attempt to determine why teams win and lose.”

Luckily, Hockey Prospectus is there to carry the torch into the Moneypuck era.

Since I got their inaugural copy last year I have been waiting for Hockey Prospectus to make their 2011-12 annual available. Finally, I got to download it last week.

For those not familiar, the book is, for the most part, an in-depth analysis of each NHL team. It certainly has a #fancystats element to it, so those who love stats will enjoy it. But make no mistake: this is for anyone interested increasing their knowledge of hockey, sounding smarter on Twitter or just as a guideline for expectations for the 2011-12 season.

For example, here’s a look at some of the Washington Capitals content:

 This team is pretty loaded with offensive talent, and just needs to take advantage of it. For instance, the second-best player in the world, Alexander Ovechkin, cannot possibly be worse than he was last season, can he? Expect the most physically dominant player in the world to at least eclipse 45 goals next season.

His linemate Nicklas Backstrom did not have an impressive season or playoff campaign. Some suspected Backstrom was playing with the weight of his contract extension on his shoulders, which may be true, but he also faced tougher competition and was put in less favorable offensive situations. Combine that with his poor shooting percentage, and it is at least a partial explanation for his offensive totals. With some favorable bounces, and increased intensity (he lost a lot of puck battles during the playoffs, seemingly looking lazy at times), there is no reason he should not bounce back to be a top NHL scorer.

There are also projections for every player. Here is friend of the blog Andrew Gordon’s who hopes to catch on with Anahaim:

I even used their VUKOTA projections to draft in my ESPN league.

And lastly, there are some great essays, including revisiting Corsi, Timo Seppa’s Ultimate Faceoff Percentage and how age affects a player’s development.

The PDF version is $10 bucks (also available on Amazon) and is money well spent. Just think, you’ll be able to tell people “before Moneypuck, there was Hockey Prospectus.”

Doug Johnson of PuckBuddys writes for Russian Machine Never Breaks.

“It’s tough, it’s fast, and you better be highly skilled,” says the Chicago pol bluntly. “Believe me, I’ve got my share of bruises and stitches over the years. There’s a brutal beauty to it.”

Rep. Quigley during last year's Warriors game.

You could be forgiven for thinking the not-quite-second term Democrat and former Cook County Commissioner was talking about politics– Chicago-style or otherwise. But he’s talking about his other hard-knocks passion: hockey.

Stocky and pugnacious, Rep. Quigley looks and talks like a guy who’s been around the rink a few million times. He should. “I’ve been playing since I was eight years old, skating around on old frozen lagoons,” he says. “Twenty degrees below zero, all of that. And I never stopped. I played every chance I could get.”

Quigley loves everything about hockey. Watching it: “Sitting at the old Chicago Stadium – 3rd row, 2nd box behind the blue line– man, that place just shook. Never shoulda torn it down.” Playing it: “My favorite play out there is setting up a bang-bang play, you know, a real good-looking goal.” Even tweaking his opponents about it: “When I was Cook County commissioner, I passed this resolution, right before the Winter Classic between Detroit and the Blackhawks. All the whereas’s and here-to-for’s … but if you read every red capitalized letter, it spells out “DETROIT SUCKS.” (We checked it out. He really did.)

Before we can point out the actual winner of that game, he moves on to his latest mission: spreading hockey far and wide. Rep. Quigley is a member of the Congressional Hockey Caucus, a player on the congressional team, and a huge booster of the USA Warrior Ice Hockey program.

The NHL may be getting PR mileage out of its “Hockey is for Everyone” slogan, but for Quigley it’s not just a toss-off. In fact, he’s probably stretching it beyond where the NHL big boys even intended.

For example, on Tuesday– before boarding a plane back to the circus that is DC these days– he, Niklas Hjalmarsson, and the cuss-tastic Mayor Rahm Emanuel held a youth hockey clinic for disadvantaged youth at Chicago’s Center on Halsted. Mere political stunt? Maybe not, once you consider that the Center is perhaps the nation’s premier gay/lesbian community center. Among their many programs is one that provides care to LGBT youth who’ve been tossed out of their homes for being gay. Consider also that when he, the mayor, and the cameras split, the kids were left with more than a handshake. Quigley and the Blackhawks donated field hockey gear for the kids’ permanent use.

Glad-handing TV photo-op with Niklas Hjalmarsson for constituents? Political stunt. Donating field hockey equipment to disadvantaged LGBT kids so they can have a shot at normalcy? Priceless.

This Thursday, Rep. Quigley was scheduled to hit the ice and play against the Wounded Warriors. “These guys want a good, hard game. I want to give them one, just like anyone else.”

Of course, that was before the White House and Speaker Boehner’s office started their slap-fight about when the President could please, pretty please, come speak before Congress. With the Warrior game set for 7pm, the same time as Obama’s speech, members like Quigley who planned on suiting up are in a jam.

Rep. Quigley (middle) drops the puck for Rep. Chris Van Hollen (MD-8) and Sean Joyce (left) in preparation for the 2011 Winter Classic during Hockey Day on the Hill.

Still, there’s no debate about his desire to see that anyone who wants to get out on the ice actually has that opportunity– disadvantaged LGBT youth, wounded combat veterans, or anyone else. He’s filled with stories of what other people tell him the game means to them, and easily falls into another. “There was an event with the Caps and USA Hockey and the Wounded Warriors. I met these guys, got out on the ice with them. When I was there I met a guy, a veteran, who was told he could keep his leg, but it wouldn’t be much use. He’d certainly never play hockey again.”

As happens in stories like this, the doctors were wrong. Turns out it’s pretty damn hard to keep a guy (or gal) off the ice who loves the game. “I ask him ‘Why do you do this?’” Quigley says. “The guy says ‘I can’t help it. I get in the rink and I smell the ice, and I just gotta get out there.” Before you can ask about that guy or those games or this cause, the fast-talking Quigley jumps into another story. “I’m reminded about Arthur Ashe. He didn’t want tennis to just be a country-club activity, but he knew that meant you had to give people access– a place to play, just the basics. It’s like that with hockey. I want to make sure that anyone who wants to get out on the ice has that opportunity.”

Few would question that if you want to succeed in hockey, or in politics, you’ve got to be tough, competitive, a little lucky, and just plain better than the next guy. That’s the kind of thing he wants people to learn from the sport: how to compete, how to play as a team, and most importantly, how to believe in yourself– despite anything that others may see as a ‘disability.’

Rep. Quigley’s cell phone is fading out– he’s working his district hard. That’s what a brawling Chicago pol does. But before it fades completely, he offers one last story. “There was this guy, maybe in his 70′s, I used to see all the time at Blackhawks games. He was blind and used to have this little radio up against his ear, listening to the call. You could see it was real hard for him to hear it. One day I start talking to him and I ask if it’s worth it– he can’t see the game at all. He says ‘I don’t have to see it. I can feel it.’”

We know nothing about his politics. But it’s clear to us that Mike Quigley feels hockey way down deep.

The USA Warriors Hockey game will take place at Kettler Capitals Iceplex on Thursday, September 8 at 7 PM.  Tickets are available at the door. RSVP on Facebook.

Doug Johnson of PuckBuddys writes for Russian Machine Never Breaks.

Retired Army Staff Sgt. Drew Hill doesn’t sound like a guy whose life needed saving. He’s confident and friendly, with that ingrained Army habit of calling you “Sir,” and he loves talking about hockey. “Chippy,” it turns out, is one of his favorite descriptions for just about everything.

The Warriors pose for a photo after a recent game.

We spoke recently just as he stepped off the ice after practice at Kettler Capitals Iceplex. He was tired — “Sorry about being winded, Sir,” he said — but eager to talk about his team of military pals who don skates as often as they can. Whether they have all their limbs or not. After all, they have a big game coming up.

Hill is a member of USA Warriors Ice Hockey, a project of USA Hockey and the NHL, that gets wounded American combat veterans out on the ice, playing hockey, no matter if they’ve ever played before or not.

Hill was one of those who had. “I played off and on through high school and up from there,” he told me. “But when I got into the Army I had to back it off a bit. Then I got hurt in Afghanistan in 2006; I picked it back up. Hockey was a life-saver for me.”

In fighting, Hill’s right ankle was essentially shattered and had to be completely rebuilt. “I’ve got titanium and all kinds of metal down there,” he said. His rehabilitation was long and, as they often are, difficult. “Physical therapy was great, but it just wasn’t aggressive enough. I was still walking with a cane. Well, I strapped on a pair of skates and started skating around, and the therapy I got from being on the ice basically got me working my right leg again.”

Hill’s story is a familiar one to anyone who plays with, or knows of , Warriors Ice Hockey. Composed of wounded vets from Iraq and Afghanistan, it’s part exercise, part amateur league, and part therapy. And this Thursday at 7pm, the puck will drop at Kettler on a big game — the Wounded Warriors vs. the Congressional hockey team.

In this era of unending war, it’s still odd to see vets showing signs of battle. Other than the obligatory standing ovation at a Caps game for a minute or so, members of the military — especially the wounded — can seem separate. Segregated, perhaps, by a country that values their work, but has fraying connection to armed service.

But when the Warriors play, nothing is separate. Every player is on the ice — but only some of the scars are visible.

The players, says team goalie Mike Vaccaro, come in with “the complete range” of injuries. “Double amputees, missing eyes, it’s everything.”

Vaccaro grew up in Buffalo, something of a two-horse town when it comes to sports. “In Buffalo, you either play football or hockey. We went down the hockey road,” he said, as his father worked for the Buffalo Sabres.

“You have to know your unit, you have to know where everyone is, you have to gel. It’s the same with hockey, it’s the same with life.” - Mike Vaccaro

A civilian employee of the Army Corps of Engineers and a Staff Sgt. with the U.S. Army Reserves, Vaccaro is also currently the coach of the Maryland Sabres, a club which sports teams of Mites, Squirts, Bantams, and any other young ones who want to play. And it turns out, among those who most want to play is Vaccaro.

“After I came back from Iraq in 2006 I was wounded,” he said. “I heard about USA Warrior Hockey and wanted to get involved. I’ve been with it ever since.”

Vaccaro was fortunate — relatively. He took shrapnel to the face, had some damage to his teeth and jaw. Five years on, he’s pretty much healed: people often assume he was never wounded.

But Vaccaro needed something more, so he got involved with the Warriors. Like Hill, when Vaccaro talks about hockey, it’s in near-equal measures of competition and therapy. “Being in the military, they teach you teamwork,” he said. “You have to know your unit, you have to know where everyone is, you have to gel. It’s the same with hockey, it’s the same with life. To me, taking these wounded soldiers and sailors and Marines who’ve never played hockey, and they’re thinking ‘well, I can’t play hockey because of my injuries,’ and making them take that next step — watching them out on the ice, watching their faces, you can see they’re only thinking about hockey. All their wounds, all their financial problems, whatever they have, all that is gone. We’re on the ice, we’re having fun. Just to give them the chance to do that for an hour — it’s worth it.”

The current Army recruiting slogan calls it “Army Strong”: you don’t quit, you don’t ask if you can do something, you just do it. That training, says Vaccaro, is exactly what helps wounded vets struggling with their physical and emotional challenges find the courage to do something as seemingly nuts as strapping on skates and hitting the ice.

“I had some issues when I came back, and hockey has been my therapy,” he said. “Helping these guys, they don’t realize it, but they’re helping me. So it’s a big circle.”

Sgt. Hill has seen it in his own life, and in others. “My good buddy Matt — he was one of those guys stuck in his room, didn’t want to get out. And I am beyond persistent. I was knocking on his door, had tickets, whatever to get him out skating.” One day Matt came to Drew and said: “Drew, if you hadn’t done that and got me out there skating, I’d be dead today. Thank you.”

“I'd rather play with these guys than anyone else in the world.” - Retired Army Staff Sgt. Drew Hill

This Thursday’s game is a fundraiser for the group, but it’s also a chance for some pretty competitive guys to take a shot at winning a game. In the past the Warriors have played a variety of teams, some of them pretty good — undoubtedly better than the Congressional team. And woe be unto the opponent who figures to ‘go easy’ on the Warriors. It doesn’t take long to figure out that this is a group of guys who want to play hard.

“I’d rather play with these guys than anyone else in the world,” said Hill, a natural center who plays a variety of spots during a game. “I’m on the ice and I look over to my left and one of my really good friends Mark Little will be there — he’s missing both his limbs below the knee. And at my other side, I’ve got a right leg amputee. And I’m out there and they are the most hilarious guys I’ve ever seen in my life. You know, guys are out there, they get a little chippy and smack ‘em on the leg, and they just go ‘What, you think that hurts me? It’s gone.’ It’s just hilarious to see them get out there.”

What’s not been at all hilarious — except, perhaps for the scamps at Wonkette — is the small-minded bickering that pushed President Obama’s address to 7pm Thursday evening, the same time as the Warriors – Congressional match-up. For several days confusion reigned (just as it everywhere else in Washington it seems) about whether the game would happen. Late last week the Warriors decided: they’re too far into this, and they will hit the ice for puck drop at 7. What the members of the Congressional team do is still murky. But if bets had to be placed, you’d get good odds that staffers will replace those members who feel they need to attend the President’s address — and there will be a game.

“A good game,” expects Vaccaro. Hill agrees. “We want to win, so we’ll go a little aggressive,” he said. We heard that these Hill guys are a bit chippy, so we want to see what they’re made of. But you’ve got a bunch of war vets out there, so we’re gonna give them a good fight, but of course enjoy ourselves.”

If you want stale, pie-fight politics, tune in C-SPAN Thursday night. But if you want to see some great hockey, played by an amazing team who’ve earned the title “Warriors” make a date for Kettler.

The USA Warriors Hockey game will take place at Kettler Capitals Iceplex on Thursday, September 8 at 7 PM.  Tickets are available at the door. RSVP on Facebook.

Tonight, I was watching the Sabres/Flyers game on Versus when the above commercial popped up on the screen. Talk about furious. I’d rather have Gary Bettman come to my house, dip his hand in a bucket of ice water and backhand me across the face than involuntarily have to watch this goal again. But there Dubinsky was on my TV. In all his mustached-glory. Raising his arms triumphantly, while Neuvy hangs his head in utter defeat. What a great juxtaposition.

I have two questions for the NHL after being forced to watch this. First, if they don’t want to risk showing favoritism to certain teams, why show goals from this playoff year? The point of the promotion is to show the NHL’s rich history. Have they already run out of moments from the past? Don’t they think that fans’ feelings might be just a little raw one day after a loss? Second, how is this goal any better than the marker Alex Semin scored in overtime in Game 1? So Dubi can get a commercial, but Sasha Minor can’t? Sure, maybe I’m being a little sensitive here, but this just rubbed me the wrong way. I get what you’re trying to do NHL marketing team, but please go back to the drawing board.

Update: Nick Kypreos of Rogers Sportsnet reports that Matt Cooke has been suspended by the NHL for the rest of regular season and the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs.

During Sunday’s Penguins vs. Rangers game, Matt Cooke was up to his old tricks. The 32 year-old former Capital delivered an elbow to the head of a defenseless Ryan McDonagh. The Ranger player went down like a sack of potatoes but fortunately was uninjured. Cooke received a five minute major for elbowing on the play and a game misconduct. As Daniel Tolensky points out, Cooke has played in 881 NHL games yet has only been suspended a total of ten matches in his career. The League obviously deserves some of the blame for allowing Cooke’s dirty play to continue without significant consequences for his actions.

A month ago, Pens owner Mario Lemieux criticized the NHL for being too soft on the Islanders’ players that participated in the mega-brawl between New York and Pittsburgh. Just a week ago, Sidney Crosby said the NHL needed to fight deliberate head-shots. But now their own player, Matt Cooke, is once again under Colin Campbell’s review. Below, we’ve chronicled Cookie’s dirty deeds throughout the years.

NHL Supplemental Discipline: Four-game suspension
Penalties called on the ice: Five minute major for charging, five minute major for fighting

Two days after getting national attention for his dirty knee-on-knee collision with Alex Ovechkin, Cooke boarded Fedor Tyutin head-first. Cooke received a five minute major for charging and a five minute major for fighting after being engaged by Derick Brassard.

From the Columbus Dispatch after the game:

“It was the worst hit I’ve ever had from behind,” said Tyutin, who had an ice pack on his shoulder. “I wasn’t surprised, not when you see (Cooke) in the highlights all the time for dirty hits.”

Penguins coach Dan Bylsma said that Tyutin looked Cooke “right in the eyes” and knew the hit was coming.

Sure, Dan.

NHL Supplemental Discipline: None
Penalties called on the ice: Two-minute minor for tripping

With 3:45 left in the third period of a 2-0 game, Matt Cooke hit Alex Ovechkin hard knee-on-knee. Cooke was accessed a minor penalty on the play and angrily confronted by Ovi. Luckily for the Capitals, the Russian Machine never breaks and he didn’t miss a game due to injury.

The Washington Post had reaction from both locker-rooms after the game:

Ovechkin played another shift before the contest expired and appeared fine afterward, but Coach Bruce Boudreau didn’t mince words when asked about the hit in his post-game press conference.

“It was Matt Cooke. Need we say more? It’s not like it’s his first rodeo,” Boudreau said. “He’s done it to everybody and then he goes to the ref and says: ‘What did I do?’ He knows damn well what he did. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’s good at it and he knows how to do it. He knows how to pick this stuff. We as a league, we still buy into this [idea] that, ‘Oh it was an accidental thing.’”

…

Both Cooke and Coach Dan Bylsma downplayed the contact.

“I just tracked the puck and he tried to cut back on me,” Cooke said. “We clipped skates.”

Said Bylsma: “I didn’t think much contact was made. Maybe their skates get wound up together. But, you know, Ovechkin was out on the ensuing power play.”

Someone seems like an enabler here.

NHL Supplemental Discipline: None
Penalties called on the ice: Two minutes for roughing, 10 minute misconduct

In this incident, Cooke does a few gutless things. First, he cross-checks Jordan Leopold from behind after Leopold takes down one of his teammates. Next, after Steve Montador engages him, Cooke lands an overhand right punch to an unsuspecting Montador after the linesmen separate the two.

Classy.

NHL Supplemental Discipline: None
Penalties called on the ice: None

As both players go for a puck along the boards, Cooke raises his elbow and strikes an unaware Kane in the jaw. No penalty would be called on the play, however later in the period, Cooke would be whistled for kneeing. Go figure.

NHL Supplemental Discipline: None
Penalties called on the ice: Two-minute minor for roughing

As both Phoenix defenseman Keith Yandle and Cooke go for a puck in the corner, Cooke delivers an elbow to the back of Yandle’s head. It certainly appears that the Phoenix defenseman was woozy afterwards. The announcer describes Cooke as “[getting] the arms up a little bit.” A little bit?

NESN had reaction in Phoenix’s locker-room after the game:

“It’s just a dirty hit,” Yandle said after the 6-1 Penguins win, according to the McKeesport Daily News. “Dirty player. He’s got no respect. … His only intent was to hurt me with his hands high like that, and I hope [league officials] review it.”

What had the Coyotes fired up — aside from getting demolished on the scoreboard — was that Cooke wouldn’t answer the bell after laying the questionable hit.

“The fact that Matt Cooke comes at Keith Yandle in a 5-0 game and elbows him in the head, obviously we took it as a personal challenge,” captain Shane Doan told the newspaper.

“They’re up 5-0, and he cowers away from all our guys,” Yandle said. “I mean, every guy on our team tried to fight him.”

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette quoted Bylsma as saying:

“We encourage our players not to finish checks on the penalty-kill, so from that standpoint we didn’t like putting ourselves in that situation,” Bylsma said Tuesday after the Penguins practiced at Consol Energy Center.

NHL Supplemental Discipline: None
Penalties called on the ice: Two-minute minor for boarding

After Max Talbot cleanly checks Erik Karlsson into the boards, Cooke follows-up a half second later with a hit of his own. Cooke drives Karlsson’s head into the boards and knocks him out. Cooke would recieve a two-minute minor penalty for boarding.

NHL Supplemental Discipline: None
Penalties called on the ice: Cooke was given three separate minor penalties for goalie interference.

I won’t offer a description on the series of events above because there are no words satisfactory enough for how idiotic Cooke is being.

These hits however, would spark bad blood between the two teams and ignite two separate brawls a year later. The first brawl was on February 2, 2011 and it started after DePietro clotheslined Cooke. Brent Johnson would come to his teammate’s aid and knock DePietro out, injuring him for six weeks. The Islanders then sought immediate retribution during the teams’ rematch nine days later. In the end, 346 penalty minutes were doled out, and several players were later suspended by the league including Eric Godard (ten games), Trevor Gillies (nine games), and Matt Martin (four games). In addition to the suspensions, NHL disciplinarians fined the Islanders $100,000 for “their failure to control their players.”

NHL Supplemental Discipline: None
Penalties called on the ice: None

This is the play that would change the NHL rulebooks forever. As Marc Savard entered the offensive zone, he took a shot on net and then was greeted by a blindside elbow from Cooke. Savard was left motionless and unconscious on the ice. The Bruins best offensive weapon then missed the rest of the season with a concussion, and has not been the same player since.

Bruins blog captured Claude Julien’s reaction after the game:

“A guy like that has to be suspended,” the Bruins coach said. “That’s the way I see it, because it’s an elbow to the head from the blind side. That’s exactly the examples they show of what we’ve got to get out of this game. We have a guy who’s got a concussion. Our best player. He’s going to be out for a while. He was [unconscious] on the ice for a bit. That’s unacceptable.”

Not suspending Cooke was, in my opinion, a disgrace to the league and the biggest mistake of Colin Campbell’s career. Those e-mails about Savard made the whole thing even harder to swallow, too.

NHL Supplemental Discipline: None
Penalties called on the ice: None

As Andrei Markov looks to cycle the puck behind the net, Cooke delivers a cross-check to Markov’s left side, leaving him writhing in pain on the ice. There was no penalty called on the play.

NHL Supplemental Discipline: Two-game suspension
Penalties called on the ice: Two-minute minor for interference.

This hit, which seems like a carbon-copy of the one he laid Marc Savard out on, resulted in Cooke being suspended for two games.

Larry Brooks of the New York Post wrote this about the hit:

Cooke was somehow accessed only a two-minute minor for interference on the play by the officiating tandem of David Banfield and Stephen Walkom, the latter of whom served as the NHL VP of Officiating the past several seasons before returning to the ice this season.

Donald Brashear sought retribution upon Cooke’s release from the penalty box, but was prevented from doing so by an over-eager linesman. As a result, Brashear was issued a double minor for roughing while Cooke escaped unscathed. The Penguins then scored on both ends of the power play.

Of course they did.

NHL Supplemental Discipline: None
Penalties called on the ice: None

Just a hockey play, right?

Pensburgh had this to say about the incident:

One of the questions Coach Babcock was asked in yesterday’s presser was whether or not he saw Matt Cooke “kick” Chris Osgood. He admitted he wasn’t sure, but also made a face as if to say, “Oh. Matt Cooke. Right, that guy.” With Cooke you never really can tell.

Well, if that’s not blatant homerism, I don’t know what is.

NHL Supplemental Discipline: None
Penalties called on the ice: None

In Game One of the 2009 Eastern Conference Finals, the Hurricanes lost Erik Cole midway through the third period. Why? Well, Matt Cooke caught him knee-on-knee in front of the Pittsburgh net. Cole managed to play only one shift after the hit.

Canes Now had the reaction from both locker-rooms:

Asked if he thought it was a knee-on-knee hit, with the implication that it was an illegal one, a curt [Carolina coach Paul] Maurice said, “Yes, I did. I felt that was, yeah.”

Cole officially has a “lower body” injury, but he clearly hurt his left knee in the collision. Cooke said the contact was accidental.

“He was cutting across the middle,” Cooke said. “I turned sideways to hit him, and he turned the other way. I almost fell over, too.”

Totally.

NHL Supplemental Discipline: None
Penalties called on the ice: Two-minute minor for tripping

After absorbing this knee-on-knee hit from Matt Cooke, Zach Bogosian left the game in the 2nd period and did not return. A Pens fan says in the comments on YouTube that this was a clean hit. His assessment is incorrect.

NHL Supplemental Discipline: None
Penalties called on the ice: Two-minute minor for roughing

In the above video, Cooke drives Zach Parise into the Devils bench several seconds after Parise dumps the puck into the offensive zone. Yes, he chose to still hit him even though the bench door was open. Hey, at least the Penguins announcers dubbed it the “Subway Sandwich of the Game.”

NHL Supplemental Discipline: None
Penalties called on the ice: None

Here Cooke drives a defenseless Mathieu Roy head-first into the boards after chasing the puck in the corner. The game featured 14 fighting majors, eight misconduct penalties and 193 penalty minutes. Oilers Coach Craig MacTavish had this to say afterwards:

“I didn’t see anything dirty in the game,” said Oilers coach Craig MacTavish, who only took exception to an uncalled hit from behind by Matt Cooke on defenseman Mathieu Roy. “There was no back stabbing, there were eyeball to eyeball altercations and fights, and that’s part of hockey.”

“There are times,” Cole says, “when I think he just doesn’t care if a guy is in a vulnerable position.”

“Matt Cooke has found his niche and [plays] his role very effectively,” says Mike Keane, who played 16 NHL seasons, including one as Cooke’s teammate on the Canucks in 2003-04. “He goes out and hits Ovechkin, hits guys from behind. If he hurts Ovechkin, who cares? The Washington Capitals won’t win the Stanley Cup. He did his job. For Matt Cooke, that’s perfect.”

And that’s the point of our post.

The NHL has to protect their assets on the ice. All they’ve done is constantly enable Cooke’s dangerous behavior over the years. They are the ones responsible for the monster he’s become. At some point you have to hand him a lengthy suspension, otherwise the message won’t get through. And — so far — the league is unwilling to do that.

Until then, let’s all get enraged by how few games Campbell suspends Cooke for his latest hit. And we’ll gladly eat our words if the NHL gets it right.

Additional reporting by Chris Gordon and Fedor Fedin.